VII

PRELUDE TO A SLAUGHTER

Oh! Hey! That’s interesting! Is that a—? And that! Look! And what’s that over there?

I can’t get over it! My new school! Why, it’s a WHOLE NEW SCHOOL! How exciting!

Just think! New friends! New experiences!

Anything is possible. The world is my oyster.

I’ll have to join all the after-school clubs here, of course. Get my fingers in lots of pies. That’s how you really meet people. Oh, I hope they have a wig club! And a Jackie O club! And maybe a Salute to Sondheim club! Oh, you gotta have one of those. I should check out the local Gay-Straight Alliance over lunch. I’m sure they’ll be a great help to me while I get my gay legs here. You know, back in Darien, I was Mistress of the Robes at my school’s GSA. Good times, good times.

 

I should look into maybe getting a trendspotting column in the school newspaper. Or maybe an etiquette column! Everybody loves etiquette! Oh! Oh! And maybe they’ll let me set up a What Not to Wear booth in the lunchroom! Oh my God! I’ve got it! What about Moulin Rouge Mondays and Studio 54 Fridays? Can you imagine? SQUEAL! I’ll be a hero.

 

Now, as for the general decor.

Well, no, no, no. This will not do at all. There’s nothing here but poster board and crepe paper. Those are not tools for interior design. So it’s a total teardown. Yes, yes. First of all, I’ll need to form a committee and get a budget. Then I’ll need a theme. Something exotic but familiar. Chichi but homey. I see fabric draped about, lots of giant throw pillows, purple velvet walls. Sort of a turn-of-the-century-opium den feel . . .

And these gloomy gray lockers—GONE. We’ll paint them pink. Yes, pink! Make them loud. Make them gaudy. Pink I tell you! Pink! Like Donatella Versace’s uterus!

And we’ll put DJs and go-go dancers in the bathroom!

And a Kabbalah corner, for spiritual guidance.

And a crepe bar, everybody loves making crepes!

 

So.

It’s a challenge. Yes. A fixer-upper.

It looks as if I have a purpose. I love having a purpose.

It’s up to me to bring a little gay glamour to Eisenhower High. Really “nelly” up the joint.

 

Room 213 . . . 214 . . . 215 should be next . . .

Well, there it is. There’s my class.

There’s the door.

Biology with Mr. Reamer. Right there.

I just need to adjust my sash . . .

Fluff my ruffles. . . .

I should have brought the eye patch . . .

Given them a REAL pirate show. Too late now.

 

Oh! Oh! Here we go! I can’t believe it! It’s almost showtime now!

Remember: Project big!

And enjoy myself.

Pretend it’s a party for me . . .

 

READY FOR MY GRAND ENTRANCE . . .

DEEP BREATH.

3 . . . 2 . . . 1 . . .

AND . . .