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DAY FIVE

Today you begin your journey back into the light.

To ready yourself, you will need to be relaxed and free of all tension.

I suggest you rent a couple of Care Bears movies. Sure!

Most people hate the Care Bears on principle. But then, most people hate me on principle—so I say to hell with people and their principles!

Pay them no mind!

Might I suggest Clan of the Care Bears? Oh, you’ll just love it.

Trust me: those perky little buggers can turn your whole day around.

 

Then? A new task. A confidence builder: Make a list of your strengths. Your selling points. All your most noble and majestic qualities. Here are mine:

• I make a great Bundt cake.

• I can parallel park like a demon.

• I’m great at refolding maps.

• I can wiggle my ears.

• I arch a good brow.

• I do killer ’80s eye makeup.

• I know the complete scores of Rent and Hairspray.

• I lend an aura of quiet dignity to any gathering.

• I’m a people person.

 

Not exactly the stuff of the coming messiah, but it’s a start.