The most important thing in life is to stop saying “I wish” and start saying “I will.” Consider nothing impossible, then treat possibilities as probabilities.
—David Copperfield, Magician
“I’m heading home,” Max says to Kirk and Chelsea.
“But we were just getting ready to start another movie,” Kirk says.
“I’ve already spent the entire day at your house,” says Max. “I’ve got some stuff to do with my mom.”
“Like what?” Chelsea asks.
“Every Sunday night I help her make dinner. She’s teaching me to cook.”
“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Kirk says. “Please tell me this is a joke.”
“You won’t be laughing when we get an apartment and you want to eat,” Max says. “I want to know how to make my favorite meals.”
“Set an extra plate for me,” Chelsea says. “You can cook for me anytime!”
The easiest way to define willpower is “self-control.” Every time you resist the urge to do something impulsive, you are demonstrating willpower. You may have plans to study for a big test you have coming up when one of your friends texts to see if you want to go grab dinner. If you are extremely disciplined, then your willpower will kick in and you’ll decline the invitation. If you have a hard time saying no to things you want to do versus things you need to do, you may not have a lot of self-control. People with a lot of willpower usually have an easier time handling peer pressure, saving money, avoiding procrastination, and completing homework. They don’t let roadblocks and distractions prevent them from completing their tasks.
Exercise willpower when you need it. I can’t go listen to my friend’s band tonight because I promised my brother I would help him with his science project.
Can willpower be taught, or are you just born with it? According to Charles Duhigg, author of The Power of Habit, “The best way to strengthen willpower and give students a leg up, studies indicate, is to make it into a habit.”1 A habit is something you do on a regular basis and mostly without thinking. Chances are, your morning routine is a habit. Do you usually shower, get dressed, and brush your teeth in the same way and order every day? If so, it’s out of habit.
Habits create efficiency and make your day run more smoothly. Look at a typical routine and how habits work on a daily basis.
6:00 AM Alarm goes off; shower, dress, and pick up room
6:30–7:00 AM Eat breakfast, make lunch, and then go online to read sports headlines
7:30–2:30 PM At school
3:00–4:30 PM Eat a snack and complete homework
4:30–6:00 PM Hang out with friends or chill out at home
7:00–8:30 PM Basketball practice
8:30–10:00 PM Television, video games, or chats with friends
If this person sleeps through his alarm clock in the morning, then the habits are disrupted. His chores don’t get done before school, and he doesn’t get to go online to read about his favorite teams. After he gets home from school, he still has chores to do on top of homework. He ends up using all of his free time to catch up on the things he missed when he overslept. By the time he goes to bed, he’s grumpy and worn out.
Habits are a great way to make permanent improvements in your life and to establish goals. Whether you want to start eating healthier, exercising, writing a blog, or learning a new skill, habits will help you get there. Goals are easier to achieve when they are part of your daily routine. Professional athletes are some of the most habit-based people on the planet. They have established habits for eating, stretching, exercising, and practicing their sport. These habits make it easier for them to stay focused because they don’t have to think about what they’re going to have for breakfast or what kind of stretches or strength training they’ll be doing. They’re all automatic because they’ve made them habits.
Not creating habits. It’s too much work to meditate every day.
Seventeen-year-old Pooja Dharan is the CEO of Lil’ MDGs, a youth empowerment organization focused on the Millennium Development Goals. She cofounded Lil’ MDGs with her cousin Dylan Mahalingam when she was six years old and they learned about the goals established by the United Nations to address the most pressing economic and social problems in third-world countries. She serves as the Lil’ MDGs spokesperson wherever she is needed, whether it’s at a conference or in the media. Her work has been noticed by Archbishop Desmond Tutu, the Dalai Lama, and several United States presidents. After being featured in numerous articles and receiving many awards, Lil’ MDGs is well on its way toward achieving its goals. Read on to learn how they are empowering youth all over the world to make a serious impact on the United Nations Millennium Development Goals.
1. What are the Millennium Development Goals?
The Millennium Development Goals (MDGs) are eight goals that were created by the United Nations (UN) in 2000 to address social and economic problems faced by people in third-world countries. These goals include eradicating poverty and hunger, promoting gender equality, reducing child mortality, and much more. These goals were made to be completed in fifteen years, by 2015. However, there are still gaps in what we hoped to achieve by 2015, so the post-2015 development agenda continues the progress toward accomplishing these goals.
2. How did your organization get started?
When I was six years old, I went to India for a visit. At that time, I was much more aware of my surroundings than when I had gone for the first time at two years old. I remember sitting in the cab and seeing homeless people tap on our windows for spare change. I walked on the streets and saw children on the sides begging for food. At the time it upset me to see people living like that, and I wanted to help them out but did not know how.
My cousin Dylan Mahalingam had had similar experiences during his visits before, and when I returned to the United States, the two of us discussed this during one of our conversations. My cousin Ammu, Dylan’s sister, told us about the UN MDGs, which focused on a variety of needs for third-world countries, including India. We really liked the idea, and that was the beginning of our organization, Lil’ MDGs.
3. What obstacles have you overcome to starting Lil’ MDGs?
During the initial stages, we faced a lot of the problems around developing the processes for managing and growing the organization. I was six and Dylan was eight, so we were not old enough to understand the finances and administration required for Lil’ MDGs. Our parents supported us a lot in the setup and management activities. We have since overcome these issues and are able to manage a lot of these by ourselves with minimum involvement from our parents.
Lil’ MDGs is built on the vision to leverage the power of the internet, digital worlds, and social media to educate, engage, inspire, and empower children in all corners of the world to work together to forward the UN MDGs. During the early years, we encountered issues collaborating with global partners due to language and technical issues. This is also a thing of the past—we have now built and maintain successful relationships with partners on every continent.
4. How has pursuing your passion affected your teen years?
Working at Lil’ MDGs has enriched my teen years because it gave me so many different opportunities that opened my eyes to the real world. As a teenager, it can be easy to worry about things such as bad hair days and take a lot of things for granted. In pursuing my passion, I have learned to value what I have because I have realized that a lot of people in many different countries are not as lucky to have the things that most of us take for granted. Lil’ MDGs has helped me think of everything in a global context, and helped me develop personally.
5. What advice would you give to teens who are looking for their passion?
My advice for other teens searching for their passion is to keep an open mind. I found my passion through travel, and I love working with children. Lil’ MDGs worked well from both those perspectives. However, one does not necessarily need to leave the country to find a cause that they can influence. There are plenty of opportunities all around us, even locally, to assist and empower others.
6. How can people get involved with your organization?
The best way to get involved with our organization is to email us at info@lilmdgs.org and tell us that you want to be a part of our organization! We love hearing from people who are interested in being a part of Lil’ MDGs. Also, be sure to tell us why you want to be part of our organization.
1. Know why you are creating the new habit. To keep your motivation high, you need to know why you are creating the new habit. If your habit is to study more, then you’re probably hoping to get better grades. Practicing swimming may lead to a spot on the school swim team. Or exercise will lead to better health, healthier eating habits, and increased strength.
2. Make it easy. It’s easy to get gung ho over something new and try to accomplish too much at once. This often leads to burnout. For example, if you want to design a website, spend a little bit of time on it every day instead of cramming it into a few all-nighters.
Letting insecurities hold you back. I don’t have what it takes to succeed.
3. Replace bad habits with a new habit. If your bad habit is that you snack on junk food all day, then replace that habit with something healthy. Why not start your day with a good breakfast so you’re not as hungry later? You can make sure you have healthy snacks available so you aren’t always reaching for potato chips and cookies to get you through your day. Your mind and body will thank you when you fill up with nutritious food.
4. Write down your new habit and post it. Putting a pen to paper and writing down the specifics makes it more official and serves as a reminder to do it. Put it on Post-it Notes and leave them where you can see them. It’s difficult to ignore something right in front of your face.
5. Do it every day. Practice. Practice. Practice. It’s difficult to establish a new habit if you do it only every once in a while. Consistency is key. If you are trying to get into the habit of meditating, then pick a time to meditate every day. If not, it’s too easy to fall back into old patterns and not create your new habit.
6. Don’t change it up. In the beginning, you want to be consistent about how you practice your new habit. The more you keep it the same, the less time you’ll spend thinking about it, and the easier it will be to do.
7. Visualize success. Starting a new habit isn’t always easy, so it can be motivating to picture yourself doing it well, whether it’s crossing the finish line, winning a contest, or making new friends. Good habits will have positive outcomes.
8. Recruit your friends. There’s no reason you have to go it alone. Find a buddy to start the new habit with you, or go online to see if there’s a site dedicated to supporting your new habit.
9. Give it thirty days. New habits take a while to get established. You may struggle in the beginning and want to quit, but commit to sticking to it for a month. By then it will probably be automatic and part of your daily life.
10. Reward yourself. A little self-bribery never hurts, and if it helps you to stick to your thirty-day commitment, then go for it. Your reward may be the thing that keeps you on track on the days you want to give up or quit.
Richard St. John can teach you a thing or two about success. He wrote the book The 8 Traits Successful People Have in Common: 8 to Be Great based on what he learned from interviewing over a thousand super-successful people like Bill Gates, Richard Branson, and Rupert Murdoch. He delivered a TED Talk on success, which has been viewed over eight million times! On top of being successful at talking about success, he’s run more than fifty marathons, earned a black belt in judo, and climbed two of the world’s highest mountains. You can get to know him better by visiting his website at richardstjohn.com. Read on to learn John’s tips for success.
Create habits. Every morning I review my science notes so I’ll be ready for my test.
1. How do you explain your eight secrets of success to teens?
A teenage girl on a plane once asked me, “What really leads to success?” So I set out to answer her question and ended up interviewing over a thousand very successful people in many different careers—from accountants, architects, and astronauts to Bill Gates, Richard Branson, Jane Goodall, and the Google founders.
I asked super-successful people in many different careers the same question: “What really helped you succeed?” Their answers were often surprising and the exact opposite of what I believed led to success. For example, I thought all successful people were outgoing and full of self-confidence, but many told me they were shy and full of self-doubt, and it actually helped them succeed. As they destroyed the myths of success, I kept thinking, I wish someone had told me this when I was a teenager. And that became the driving force for my research—to give young people the real secrets of success, without any bull. So here they are: the eight traits successful people have in common:
Work—Work really hard.
Focus—Focus and concentrate on one thing, not everything.
Push—Keep pushing yourself.
Ideas—Come up with good ideas.
Improve—Keep improving yourself and what you do.
Serve—Serve others something of value.
Persist—Hang in there because there’s no overnight success.
2. Where does failure fit in?
Failure is something we need to persist through, because all successful people fail in one way or another. Of course, nobody wants to fail, but you start failing from the time you’re born. When you were a child, you didn’t jump up and walk across the floor the first time you tried. You fell down and failed hundreds of times before you could actually walk. But you kept trying, kept learning, kept getting better, and eventually you succeeded at walking. It’s the same with anything in life. The incredibly successful people I interview admit they failed many times, and they also attribute it to their success. So when you fail, and you definitely will, think of it as your school not your funeral. Just pick yourself up, learn from it, and keep going.
3. How does following your passion lead to success?
The eight traits for success are of equal importance, but I put passion first because if you love what you do, you’ll automatically apply the seven other traits that lead to success. If you love it, you’ll work hard at it, focus on it, and push yourself. If you love it, you’ll think more about it and come up with good ideas. You’ll want to improve and get better at it, and serve others what you love. And you’re much more likely to hang in and persist when the going gets tough rather than just give up. So passion is the spark that will automatically ignite all the other traits you need in order to succeed.
4. What advice can you give teens who are looking for their passion?
If you haven’t found your passion yet, don’t panic. You’re not alone. When many super-successful people were young, they didn’t have a clue what they really loved to do. Even Bill Gates once said, “I was sitting in my room being a philosophical depressed guy, trying to figure out what I was doing with my life.”
So how do successful people discover their passion? Well, it doesn’t drop into their laps. They have to go out and try a lot of stuff. Like Robert Munsch, who said to me, “I studied to be a priest. That turned out to be a disaster. I tried working on a farm. They didn’t like me. I worked on a boat. It sank. I tried a lot of different things that didn’t work, but I didn’t give up. I kept trying. And then I tried something that did work.” Robert discovered he loved writing children’s stories, and he went on to sell over 40 million books! Sometimes what you love is right under your nose, disguised as a hobby. Top real estate agent Elli Davis started out as a teacher but didn’t like it. What she really loved was reading real estate ads and looking at open houses on weekends. She says, “I was afraid to try real estate, but if I had never tried it, I would never have known how good I could be at it. You must try it. Just do it.” Yes, finding a career you love is like finding a person you love. You just have to keep trying, going on a lot of really bad dates, and then one day—bing!—you discover your true passion.
5. If you could go back and give one piece of advice to your teen self, what would it be?
When I was in my teens, I didn’t think I’d succeed or go anywhere in life. So if I could go back and give advice to my teen self, here’s what I’d say: “Richard, you’re shy, insecure, and full of self-doubt. You’re not an A student. You don’t know what to do with your life, and you often feel like a failure. Well, congratulations! You could be very successful. Because many super-successful people were just like you in their teens—shy, insecure, and not top of the class.” So how did they succeed? They kept following the eight traits that really lead to success: passion, work, focus, push, ideas, improve, serve, persist, and as a result they achieved great success. So just like them, if you, too, keep doing the eight traits successful people have in common, you can go as far as you want in life.
Spotlight
Christopher Minafo, Art Student
Have you ever been so focused that you spent over sixty hours on a single project? Christopher did just that when he decided to make a grand send-off to his teen years by painting a large photo-realistic picture of singer Beyoncé. Now he’s a student at New York University Steinhardt and has plenty of opportunities to create artwork based on the strong women he admires. He uses digital tools, colored pencils, and paint to create lifelike pictures of artists such as Rihanna, Ariana Grande, and Christina Aguilera. This self-taught artist has managed to capture the personalities of his subjects in his artwork by looking at photographs of them. To watch the video of Christopher creating his Beyoncé painting, visit https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_wmP_u5KzVs. By igniting his spark, Christopher has created a whole new way for people to appreciate their favorite artists!
Every day you are faced with a million decisions both big and small. Some decisions you make based on what’s best for you, and others are made based on what seems easiest in the moment. If you’re trying to establish a new habit like getting your homework done early, eating healthier, or practicing an activity every day, then temptation could sabotage your goals.
To create super-strength willpower, prepare for roadblocks. If you know your favorite television show is on Thursday and you’re supposed to study for a test, then record the show and watch it after you’re done studying. Don’t allow bad self-discipline to interfere with a habit you’re trying to establish. Watching your favorite show will be a great reward when you can kick back and relax because all of your work is done.
The more habits you create, the stronger your willpower will be. Habits put you into autopilot because they become second nature. You don’t have to think about doing them because they are a part of your routine. With super habits, your days will go much smoother and you’ll be amazed at how much you get accomplished. Once you get started you won’t have to worry about a lack of self-control getting in the way!
Giving in to temptations. I’m going to skip baseball practice to go to the beach with my friends.
Love what you do. I love volunteering at the animal shelter to help dogs and cats get adopted.
Are you ready to create a new habit? Grab your calendar and let’s get started. Pick a habit that’s interesting to you—don’t pick one for your parents, your teachers, or your friends. Now that you’ve chosen a habit, write it down. This is something you will practice every day for thirty days. For example, if you wanted to get stronger, then you might decide you want to do thirty push-ups, sit-ups, and jumping jacks every morning as soon as you wake up. Figure out a reward for yourself when you make it to the end of the thirty days, and write it down next to your habit. Visualize yourself succeeding in your new habit. You’re only thirty days away from reaching your goal!