Chapter Seventeen

Packing took no time. He had very little in personal possessions that he carried with him. Alex and he had traveled a lot in recent years, handling things in Alaska and Canada and the Northwest. What he couldn’t bring he stored and none of that had been moved here yet. Now it never would.

He threw the last bit into his truck. Now he just needed to find Vista. He’d left letters for his mom, Peyton, and Mel in his parents’ house. And had an email waiting to be sent to Alex. His partner could handle the details here and Ryder could scout out their next move. The rock was removing himself from the surface.

A couple barks had him looking behind him only to see Vista trotting happily in front of Dan. Crap, the last person or conversation he needed was from the man he knew would slide right into his boots as soon as he cleared the Fly Creek town limits.

Despite the jealousy, he knew Peyton was better off with Dan than him. Melanie, too. Dan wouldn’t have gotten his daughter hurt playing a simple game of hide and seek.

“Found this beast down by the lake.” Dan smiled and ruffled the dog between her elfin ears. He glanced at Ryder and the bed of his truck and the smile dissolved into tight thin lines.

“Going somewhere?”

Ryder whistled, and Vista hopped up into the cab of the truck. It had taken considerable willpower to not unleash on his old man back at the lake, despite the awareness of something not making sense. Nothing was left to prevent him from unleashing on Dan.

Dan sighed. “Man, why didn’t you tell me?”

The question was soft. Nothing about it accusatory and Ryder knew it had nothing to do with him leaving.

He pinned his surrogate brother with all the anger looking for an outlet. “Tell you what?”

“Tell me what it was like at home. What was going on with your dad?”

And like an overinflated balloon, Ryder popped. All the past, present, and possible future flew out of him on a whoosh. His limbs felt like they were encased in concrete. His shoulders no longer able to support anything.

Why hadn’t he talked? Why hadn’t he told Peyton or his mom or even someone like Dan? Why had he chosen to leave and why was he leaving now?

Pride. Arrogance. The I-know-I’m-right-and-I’m-going-to-show-you attitude.

Well, he may have been right, or at least partially, but he had gone about it all wrong.

“I don’t know.” The confession flew out on a breeze.

Dan shook his head. “All these years, I’ve wondered how you could up and leave Sky Lake. Leave Peyton. Your Mom. These were all the golden parts of my life. All the things I didn’t have growing up and would do everything in my power to ensure remained safe and intact.” He paused and took off his hat. “If you faced even an ounce of what I just overheard down by the lake, I can see clearly what sent you away. Dude, I know what it’s like to feel unwanted, and I’m guessing you got a sucker punch of that dose a time or twelve from your old man, but I can also tell you that there are plenty of people here who do want you and need you and that includes Sky Lake and Peyton.”

Ryder snorted. “I’m surprised Peyton hasn’t strung me up by my toes as I rightfully deserve. Mel got hurt today.”

“I know.”

“Of course you do,” Ryder muttered.

“I also know you would never do anything intentional to hurt her. That day in the roping ring I knew your intentions were good even if executed poorly and rashly.”

“Intentions don’t matter.”

“Maybe they don’t in some cases, but I do think in this case they are a big detail. Did you tell Peyton how it happened?”

Ryder shook his head.

“And you just left the hospital? Just like you’re planning on leaving now.”

Dread and regret nailed a one-two to his heart. He had left. He hadn’t talked to her. Just like ten years ago. He’d walked out of the hospital focusing on himself, because he believed the pain and hurt were his penance, and he left Peyton to deal.

“Did ten years and Alaska knock out what little sense you had left in you?”

Ryder shook his head. He had sense, he just didn’t know what to do with it. Hadn’t he just promised Peyton that he wouldn’t hurt her? That he wouldn’t leave? And yet, his staying was causing all kinds of ripples in a pond that he loved. He loved Peyton. He loved Sky Lake.

“Are you going to do something about that?”

He would. He had to. His whole future depended on him getting this right. On getting Peyton and his mother and maybe even his father to understand no matter what came his way, no matter the pain or self-doubt, he would stick it out. Be someone they could count on.

What had Peyton said at his parents’ that day? You have to forgive yourself first.

“Dan, I owe you more than I can say right now, but I need to figure some things out.”

Dan smirked. “Just make sure if you feel the urge to run or leave again, please talk to someone. Even if it’s just a damn horse.”

Dan opened Ryder’s truck door and Vista hopped back out. “I’ll find this fluffball some food.” The pair walked down the driveway, his dog happily circling and snuffling.

What on earth could he do? Go back to the hospital, and say what?

Dan whistled and twirled his hat up on one finger and flipped it onto his head.

Hat.

He would find Mel’s hat. He’d promised her and he would start there. One step. One moment, and then when the time was right he would talk with Peyton and apologize. Explain and let her know everything that had happened. Then maybe they could begin to find their way back.

Because in all the chaos and mess he knew one thing. Peyton Brooks was his end game. She and Mel were where his future lay. Nothing about Fly Creek or Sky Lake or his company would amount to a hill of beans without them.

…

Peyton shifted in the hardback chair, desperately searching for a position that didn’t cause her butt to numb and her back to howl in protest. You would think hospitals understood the waiting aspect and would plan their furniture accordingly. Surely their surveys mentioned something time and again about it. Clearly, their marketing or PR person was not listening to the target audience. Namely the damn family and relatives who were stuck waiting endlessly for their loved ones to return.

Metal rings shifted and the curtain flew back. Mel, lying on a gurney, was wheeled in immediately. Peyton choked on her breath. Her helpless daughter. Her vibrant and full of backbone daughter looked small and meek lying in the middle of white sheets. Dr. Warren followed Mel in and smiled when Peyton stood.

“Peyton, always nice to see you, even if it is under these circumstances.”

“How is she?”

“She’s fine. No head or neck trauma that we can see. She did fracture her left elbow and wrist. We’ve put a soft cast on it and given her some medication to help her rest. She was in a lot of pain, but she’ll be fine. Full recovery and there should be no permanent damage.”

Peyton nodded, unable to speak. Relief clogged her vocal cords.

“We would like to keep her a little longer just as a precaution with her head, so we’ll be moving her upstairs to her own room in a few. Room 206.” He glanced around and back out through the curtain. “Will you tell her father?”

Peyton nodded again, this time afraid the anger pulsing through would startle the doctor right out of his scrubs. Ryder didn’t deserve the title of father. Hell, he’d damaged his daughter and then left her. Not that Peyton was surprised to find him gone when she returned. Things get tough and Ryder runs. Same MO as ten years ago.

Shelby rounded the edge of the curtain and pounced on her granddaughter. She smoothed a lock of black hair off the forehead and wiped a tear off her cheek.

“I’ll leave you two alone.”

Shelby spared no glance for the departing doctor, despite Peyton knowing the woman had him set in her matchmaking headlights.

“She’s fine?” Shelby’s voice cracked.

“Dr. Warren said a fractured elbow and wrist but nothing that won’t heal.”

“Thank God.” Shelby collapsed in the other chair in the small room. “I’ll let Ryder know. I’m sure he’s home worried. When he left here, he looked like he’d seen a ghost.”

Peyton gripped the edge of the chair and took several breaths. Melanie was in the room and Shelby was upset. Telling her her son could give two shits and that he’d left because that was what he did best would serve no purpose. The truth would come soon enough.

Mel was settled in her new room, and Peyton scooted the chair closer to the bedside. She found her daughter’s small hand and engulfed it in hers and finally let everything filter through and wash away.

Mel was okay.

She would be fine.

The bones would heal.

Now that the rush of panic for Mel had flushed out of her system, she allowed herself to think about Ryder. To think about him without the fear over their daughter muddying the common sense waters. To remember that moment in the hallway when she heaped blame upon blame on his head, and she realized he hadn’t argued. He hadn’t defended himself, offered one word to bolster his side. What did that mean?

Deep down, she knew he wouldn’t have done it on purpose. Knew he loved Mel as fiercely as he could despite only just getting to know her. She jumped to the wrong conclusions all those years ago and now understood what he’d been facing.

His words from before, when she’d questioned why he hadn’t confided in her ten years ago, came back to her.

I was afraid you wouldn’t have listened.

Would she have listened an hour ago? She shook her head. No. She wouldn’t have. But it wasn’t just that. The look on Ryder’s face. It had been of a man who’d lost. Who’d admitted defeat and welcomed everything being launched at him as if it was his punishment.

Mel stirred and batted her eyes a few times, glancing here and there before meeting Peyton’s gaze.

“Hi, Mom,” she croaked out, and Peyton released her hand to pour a small glass of water.

“Little sips, sweetheart.”

Satisfied Mel wasn’t going to suffer through dry mouth, she placed the cup on the table and smoothed her daughter’s forehead.

“Where’s Dad?”

Peyton fought back a wave of hurt. She was here and all her daughter cared about was Ryder. But she knew Mel wasn’t intentionally hurting her feelings. Ryder had brought her here. He’d been with her. It would be natural she would ask for him. But she didn’t want to hurt her. Tell her daughter that her father may have walked out on her again.

“He had to get something. But he’ll be back soon.” Mel nodded and shifted a bit, a grimace spilling across her face.

“Hold still, honey. I can help you.” Peyton adjusted the pillow and helped Mel slide a bit. “How are you feeling?”

Mel gave her question thought and Peyton smiled. That was her Mel. The one who analyzed everything. “Good, I guess. A little groggy and my arm aches, but nothing like the pain from before.”

“That’s good. I’m sure things will continue to get better.”

“Mom?”

Peyton tucked the sheet against her small daughter’s frame and met her gaze.

“It wasn’t his fault.”

“Shhh, honey. We don’t need to talk about it.”

A small hand covered Peyton’s. “It was a skunk.”

Peyton didn’t get a chance to question her daughter. At that moment the door opened and in walked Ryder, a small hat in his hands.

“Daddy.”

Ryder nodded to Peyton, careful to avoid touching her as he moved around the bed.

“Hey, sweetheart. How we feeling?”

“You got my hat.”

“I told you I would.”

Mel beamed at Ryder, and Peyton excused herself. Partly because it felt as if she was intruding on a special moment between father and daughter, and partly because she couldn’t handle the guilt eating away at her stomach.

Ryder hadn’t left.

He’d left to do something Mel had asked of him.

And he hadn’t harmed her on purpose through neglect. She might not know the whole story, but it had been wrong to take her fears and concern and project them as hatred and blame toward him. She said she was done underestimating him and at the first chance to prove that true, she’d done the exact opposite. She’d taken their past and used it to form a wall of accusations.

She found the little side room that held vending machines and ducked inside. She would give them their space and apologize later.

…

Ryder stepped out of Mel’s room and saw his father sat in a chair halfway down the hallway.

No time like the present to move forward.

“Dad.”

Mitchum Marks looked up from his paper and immediately looked back down. Ryder smiled. It was exactly what he knew would happen, but for the first time the dismissal didn’t cut through to his heart.

He could do this.

He needed to do this.

“Well, if you won’t talk, you can listen.”

The papers shuffled, and his father’s gaze stayed firmly on the newsprint.

“I don’t know what I did to create this divide. I’ve tried hard to even remember where it first came from. Where the first instance of your disappointment arose, but I couldn’t for the life of me figure it out.”

Mitchum scuffed his boot on the linoleum but continued his silence.

“But it doesn’t matter now. Ten years ago, I wanted to help you. To help figure out a way to save Sky Lake. I wasn’t trying to be disrespectful or blame you for anything we were facing as a business or as a family. Maybe I came across cocky or maybe I didn’t make myself clear enough, but the anger you threw back me. The hatred you’d been building over the years.” Ryder swallowed hard. “I didn’t deserve that.”

Someone came around the corner and passed behind Ryder. His dad’s head followed the progress, then returned to the paper. A paper that wasn’t as steady as it had been before Ryder started talking.

“I love you, Dad. Despite everything. Despite how poorly we both handled things over the past ten years, you are my father and I love you.”

“And yet you came home to destroy me.” The paper landed on the chair beside Mitchum. “You brokered a back-alley deal and are going to take Sky Lake and destroy it. Sounds exactly like love.”

“I’m not destroying Sky Lake. I’m enhancing it. Making it available to more people who can come and fall in love with it like we do. Like you do and Mel and Mom and Peyton.”

“You came back to rub it in my face. My failure. That’s why you came back.”

Ryder sat beside his father. His head dropping as his hands dangled between his knees. “Maybe. To some extent. But not to say you failed—to say that I didn’t. That I wasn’t unworthy. That I cared more than you ever realized. And that I wanted to help.”

Mitchum snorted. “And you couldn’t have done everything openly and honestly.”

“No. I couldn’t. You made it abundantly clear you thought me nothing more than a pile of horse dung on your boot. If I had called and offered to buy the lake property, you would have dug in your heels and refused and what would have happened then?”

“I would have figured something out.”

“So you would have let something happen to Sky Lake or sold the property to someone who might not have loved it the way I do, all because you thought me unworthy?” Ryder sat back and ran his hands through his hair. He knew better than to expect anything from his father and yet he’d hoped. Just the smallest bit. That his father would take part of the blame. He no longer needed his father’s approval.

But it didn’t mean he didn’t want it.

“I’m tired, Ryder. This is all a ploy. I see it and eventually so will everyone else. You’ll build your cabins and be gone. I’m counting down the days till your taillights are in the dust.”

“Well, Dad, then you’re going to be disappointed in me again, because I’m not leaving Fly Creek.”

Mitchum got up and walked away, leaving Ryder once again feeling nineteen years old and unloved. But he wasn’t unloved, was he? His mother cared for him. And his daughter. And he had more than enough love for them. He pushed up out of the chair and went off in the opposite direction. He would prove his father wrong again, because he wasn’t leaving Sky Lake.

He’d come home to stay.

…

Ryder passed by the small vending area and Peyton fought to stand still and not go after him. She’d heard everything. Every apologetic and heartfelt word from him and every cold, immovable, awful response from Mitchum.

He’d done it.

He’d forgiven himself and taken his share of responsibility for the events over the years. She’d misjudged him. Placed blame on his shoulders that didn’t belong. And even now, when it appeared no one believed in him. That no one had faith in him, he’d remained the bigger man.

Her breath caught in her throat as the love she’d so carefully locked away spilled over the bars and flowed through her veins. His actions spoke of a man focused on those around him and not himself.

He was here.

He wanted to be here. To build a life with Mel. In Sky Lake. He wasn’t going to turn tail and leave again. Just as he promised her that night. He wasn’t that boy that left all those years ago and she wasn’t that girl abandoned.

She loved the man he was today. The man that took his pain and looked past it. Learned from it.

She knew that, understood that at a level words would never be able to explain. Things couldn’t get any harder than they were at that moment and still he was here.

But did he still love her? Could he look past the fact that she’d thrown his actions and faith and words back into his face? That she’d been blinded by her own struggles with forgiveness to recognize all he had to offer.

She needed to talk to him. Not now. Not when his father’s words were so fresh and wounding. Mel was fine. She would be out by this evening. She would get her settled, ask Polly to keep an eye on her for a bit, and then she would track Ryder down and confess. Everything.

She stepped through the little doorway and right into Mitchum. Arthritic hands gripped her shoulders, keeping her from stumbling back into the wall.

“Sorry about that, Peyton. Not watching where I was going.”

His hands fell away and she let her gaze roam his face. His expression was concerned and full of warmth. No remnant of the steel she’d heard only moments before.

“Why do you hate him?”

Mitchum’s gaze flew to her face, shock flooding those washed-out eyes. He knew exactly who she was talking about. And maybe it wasn’t her place or her battle, but she loved Ryder. She loved him so fiercely that she couldn’t stand by and let his Jekyll and Hyde father get away with everything.

“Don’t tell me he has you fooled now, too.”

“No. Mitchum. He hasn’t. I finally see the truth. My own ignorance and insecurities and resentment have been pulled away, and I recognize what he is and what he hopes to be.” She waited until he looked her square in the face. “Can you say the same?” She pushed past him and went down the hall into Mel’s room.

Her daughter smiled from the hospital bed, so small in the swath of white sheets. But she was strong and healthy and would be fine. Her arm would heal, and she would be back to giving her a nervous breakdown in no time.

“Is Dad still here?”

Peyton placed the soda on the bedside table and smoothed a piece of hair off Mel’s forehead. “He had to run back to the ranch. Besides, you’re getting sprung in a little bit. I’m sure you’ll be seeing him soon.”

“I know I’ve said this before, but it wasn’t his fault.”

Peyton laughed. “I know, honey. You just make sure you tell him that a couple more times so maybe he can believe it, too.”