Mr. Grant’s challenge disturbed my sleep and still consumed my thoughts on the way to meet Tara the following morning. As much as I looked forward to seeing her and perhaps rekindle our relationship, it all seemed secondary to the Obligations. The final explanation of the Obligation to colonizing space was unsettling. It was still hard to accept that humankind was unconsciously on a ten-thousand-year mission to expand civilization out into space on behalf of a living planet. At the same time, it was what I already knew to be true in some place in my dreams.
And the dream did come again. The full Earth alive and whole. Silently communicating an imperative I couldn’t quite understand. And it left me no clue as to what the Twin Obligation might be.
***
Tara told me to meet her at seven o’clock, so it was a nice surprise when I pulled up to the hotel ten minutes early to see her already waiting for me. She wore snug khaki shorts, hiking boots and sunglasses. She waved as she jogged over to the car, threw her day pack into the backseat, and climbed in next to me.
“Hey you,” she said, and gave me a kiss on the lips. I had almost forgotten how incredible that could be. “We’re going to do a little hiking this morning. Sound okay?”
“Not exactly what I had in mind, but I’m game.” I thought we’d have a meal in the hotel restaurant and maybe sit by the pool. But, I was perfectly happy to go anywhere with her.
“Great. Somebody told me about an awesome hike in the Saguaro National Monument a few miles west of here. We can stop for breakfast on the way. Take this road for a few miles west and head into those hills,” she commanded, as I pulled away.
“God. I love this conference, but I just need to get out of those stuffy rooms, especially here. Look at this place.” She craned her neck to get a better look at a passing red rock formation. The landscape was spectacular. Arizona was like no place else on Earth. It was so alien you could almost believe we were on another planet.
I stopped at an intersection and looked over at her. She was radiant. It was as if I had never quite seen her that way. It wasn’t her clothes. She glowed from the inside.
“Tara, there is so much going on that I want to share with you.” I needed to share my experiences with someone, and Tara was the only one I felt might understand.
“I feel the same way. This conference has really opened me up to so many possibilities. For you and me, yes, but for the whole world as well.” There was a sense of elation in her voice. “Sitting in those sessions about the state of the global environment you really begin to understand that the situation is worse than ever. Then you have hundreds of people who are all committed to making a difference –all committed to turning this horrible situation around. Even you, John, and Mr. Grant. His talk was so stimulating it made people stop and consider an even bigger picture that included outer space.
“Just being there with that passionate vibe running through the building I felt that there was a chance, a real hope for the future. We’re not going to sit back and simply allow the conditions to get worse if we can in any way stop it. We can no longer sit on the sideline, John, hoping that sanity will miraculously take hold of government and society.”
Tara was clearly on a mind-expanding high. She talked about some of the speakers, the breakout session topics, and brainstorming workshops. She truly believed that the meeting represented a break-through for the environmental movement. And I didn’t doubt she was right.
We stopped at a diner for a quick but full breakfast. I was determined to open up to Tara about everything that I was experiencing, but decided to restrain myself for just a while longer, and confined our talk to the conference.
There was only one other car in the flat patch by the side of the road that served as a parking area to the trail head. The trail we chose was marked by nothing more than a five-foot-high post tipped with faded blue paint. Though I didn’t have hiking boots, I was glad to be wearing tennis shoes instead of my Docksiders, which would have provided no support. Tara was in good physical condition. I wasn’t, but still insisted on carrying the day pack, and struggled to keep up almost from the start. Tara stood at least ten inches shorter than me, but her stride was nearly equal to mine. “It’s about an hour and a half each way. We’ll have to keep a steady pace if we want to get the top and back in a reasonable time.”
Looming ahead was our goal: a mountain that jutted out of the desert floor like a rocky crystal. The first part of the hike was flat and easy. The desert scenery was spectacular. The diverse low lying scrub vegetation was punctuated by saguaro and other cactus plants of every size, some reaching well over ten feet. Tara pointed to the precious white saguaro flowers, which blossomed for only a few weeks each year.
After about a mile, the trail became more rugged and began to slope upward. We didn’t speak much. Tara seemed focused on burning off her excess energy. I focused on getting enough oxygen into my lungs. We finally stopped for a rest, which I was glad for but longed for some shade as well. Tara had taken care of the provisions we would need for the hike, including plenty of water, apples and a large bag of trail mix containing nuts, raisins and carob chips.
“A little out of shape, huh?” she smirked.
“Well,” I puffed, “if you had told me about this Ironman competition in advance, Id’ve done some training.”
We drank some water and put on sunscreen, which Tara insisted I apply. We sat for a few minutes in the quiet of the beautiful setting and I took the moment. “I want to share something with you. It’s about these incredible conversations I’ve been having with Mr. Grant.”
She gave me her full attention. “It’s a bit outrageous and I didn’t know exactly how to talk about it…It all started with a plaque in Mr. Grant’s office…”
“Do you mean the one with that says something about space colonies?”
“Yes! Yes, that’s the one.” My heart quickened at the thought of her seeing the plaque as I had.
“I noticed it that day the CRFS delegates met with Mr. Grant. I thought it was an odd thing to show off,” she said. “But…what about it?”
“Well, I thought it was odd as well. I became a little obsessed by the inscription that claimed space colonization to be an obligation humanity had to the Earth.”
“Is that what it said?”
“Yes, in essence. When I asked Mr. Grant about it, his whole attitude toward me changed. He said if I wanted to understand what was meant by the Obligation on the plaque, that I needed to interview a series of specific people. I was so curious, I couldn’t refuse. The first was astronaut Chip Johnson.” By this point, Tara was completely drawn in.
“There was also a scientist at JPL, the space entrepreneur Evan Phillips, whom you may know, and Barbara Everheart, the famous science fiction author. There were six in all. I would find out these individuals each represented a particular basic human trait, and how that trait related to the human desire for space travel. It was as if each person was giving me a piece of some philosophical perspective on how human consciousness works.”
Tara was intrigued. “Wow. That’s wild…Well, let me hear it.”
We started hiking again at a slower pace. “These traits are represented by six archetypes, the Wanderer, the Settler, the Inventor, the Builder, the Visionary and The Protector. They are generally referred to as Endowments. Chip Johnson, for example, represented the Wanderer.” Tara licked her lips and, with furrowed brow in concentration so as not to misunderstand anything, urged me to continue.
“All of these Endowments share two dimensions. In one sense, each endowment has been essential in developing the human civilization from its earliest beginnings to where we are today. Yet, at the same time, each of these Endowments is essential to enable our civilization to expand beyond this planet. Take the Wanderer Endowment, for example.” I knew I was being a bit pedantic, but earnestly wanted her to understand. So I explained, as succinctly as I could, how the Wanderer Endowment not only spurred humankind to populate the globe using only pre-historic technology, but that the same primal impulse was drawing us inevitably into space. I gave similar examples for other Endowments in response to Tara’s questioning.
Tara's reaction was tentative. “Hmm...I admit this is a fascinating way to look at human consciousness—but I still don’t get what it all means. You almost sound like you believe what the plaque says, that humanity has some intrinsic obligation to build space colonies.” There was so much I wanted to say in response, but suddenly realized raising the topics at all with Tara might have been a huge mistake. After all, Mr. Grant had communicated the information in much greater detail over many days.
“For me,” she continued while I hesitated, “listening to your description of the Endowments, I was beginning to see how they fit as the critical traits we need to resolve the environmental crisis we’ve created down here. Not so we can run away to Mars. Especially the Inventor and Visionary and the Protector, as you call them. How can we restore balance to the Earth without these capabilities?”
“I…I see what you’re saying. I don’t doubt that’s true.” I took no oath of silence, but I didn’t consider that there might be a reason for Mr. Grant’s drawn-out method of learning that helped me to more fully understand the concepts. How could I possibly expect Tara to appreciate the ideas based on my brief and no doubt flawed summation?
I let the topic drop as we focused on the climb that had become more difficult. My muscles had loosened up and the going was easier, though I knew I would feel every mile the next day. The incline became very steep, requiring us at points to crawl up and over or around jutting rock formations.
We stopped two more times before reaching the summit, but I chose not to bring up the Obligation again. It was clear the topic had disturbed her. Instead we talked about the beauty of our surroundings, and compared notes on the wildlife and vegetation we had spotted along the trail.
The roughest bit of climbing came just before reaching the summit. We had to scale a ninety-foot rock face. Proper rock-climbing gear would have been required if not for the thinnest ribbon of a trail up along the wall. It wasn’t so much a trail as it was a barely marked climb. If you followed the markings, there were just enough firm hand and foot holds to take you to the top.
It was worth it. We reached the summit just before nine o’clock. The view on all sides was spectacular. I even spotted Kitt Peak and its little white dot of an observatory off to the southeast.
Tara went up to the highest point she could reach. She spread her arms out and put her head back as if to soak in the glory of the place. She looked even more beautiful, almost angelic. I couldn’t take my eyes off her.
“This, John. This is what it’s all about,” she said gesturing to everything and nothing in particular. As she began to speak, the feeling of lightheaded attentiveness began to come over me. I had never experienced that feeling before with Tara.
She began to talk about the conference again. “The world is waking up to the need to bring ecological balance or we will unquestionably destroy ourselves.”
“The sixth Endowment,” I blurted out. “That’s the Sixth Endowment—The Protector.” It should have occurred to me while discussing the ecology with Mr. Grant at the fire pit. “You see how it fits? The Protector Endowment sees the macro threats, or threats to the whole, and takes actions to avoid, eliminate or mitigate those threats.”
“Yes, self preservation is no doubt part of the picture. But, what I’m speaking of is much more about harmony with the world we live in. It’s much more about caring for other life forms we share the planet with. Yes, if we can restore ecological balance then we are likely to ensure our own survival as well.” She paused, reaching for the best way to put what she had to add, “It’s like this. We have been cared for and nurtured by this planet for millions of years while our species matured as a conscious organism. Now that we have matured, or at least some of us have, it is time for us to fulfill an obligation to serve as stewards to the planet to which we owe our very existence.”
“Obligation…” Something was opening up inside me. Tara was using language about the obligation to the planet in much the same way Mr. Grant had talked about our obligation to spread out into space.
“Yes. It’s an obligation,” she continued, “that goes beyond merely our own self interest—even as a species. It’s a much larger realization that we are part of a whole living planet. The obligation isn’t to build space colonies; it’s to take care of the world we already have. Don’t you see that?”
This was the Twin Obligation Mr. Grant spoke of. It had been staring me in the face all along. It all somehow made perfect sense. Rather than being in opposition to one another, space migration and planetary stewardship were linked as two halves of an undeniable Obligation that humanity had to the Earth.
The shift in my mind was felt as a physical sensation. My feeling of otherworldliness deepened in that moment. I seemed to be sinking into a kind of deep relaxation, though my awareness of Tara and my surroundings was as sharp as ever.
Tara spoke further, “Have you ever heard of the Gaia Hypothesis?”
“Yes…I have.” I didn’t mention that it was only the previous night that the concept was explained to me by Mr. Grant.
“Then you know that all life, humanity included, is interconnected with the Earth. We all live together in harmony or we all die together from stupidity on the part of the human race. It’s that simple. We can’t keep taking from the Earth without giving back in equal or greater measure. It is now time for us to transition from being the species that holds dominion over the Earth to a species that acts as its responsible steward. Like a child who, after years of being cared for by his mother, ultimately matures into adulthood. In a healthy family the roles reverse and it becomes time for the mother to be cared for by the sons and daughters. That’s where we are now. Or at least that’s where we should be now.” With this she stared straight into my eyes intensely for a few beats, and then broke into the warmest most beautiful smile. “Think about it? It makes sense, doesn’t it?” she said at last.
“The Twin Obligation,” I whispered, but Tara didn’t seem to hear me. I felt my body sink further still into a state of relaxation with each word Tara spoke.
“Come here.” She guided me to a flat sandy patch in the shade of a boulder. She sat down cross-legged and signaled me to do the same sitting opposite her. As a gentle breeze kept us cool, Tara told me to close my eyes. I could not have been more receptive as she guided me into meditation as she did in the park next to the Rayburn building.
She told me to breathe normally, and focus all my attention on my breath. In and out. In and out. She became quiet, and we sat with only natural sounds coming from the desert.
My initial relaxation only deepened in the quiet of my mind. Everything seemed to melt away with each breath. After a short time, the sensation of my physical body dissipated. I could identify myself only as a point in infinite emptiness. There was something supremely perfect in this no-place.
After a time my perception changed and I felt myself moving upward, high above the mountain we were sitting on, and the Arizona desert. Higher I went, seeing the ground as if from an airplane at thirty thousand feet. Then higher still. I saw the curvature of the Earth and the blackness of outer space above. This sensation was similar to my recurring dream of floating in orbit.
I became aware of points of light covering the landmasses below me. They were all interconnected like a web of neurons. I intuitively saw these as all life forms connected to each other as a single entity. Then the physical aspects of the planet disappeared, leaving only the network of lights. Seeing them more clearly, I saw that they varied in brightness. Some were blinding in radiance while others were barely visible.
At that point, I noticed that I was connected to the Earth by a thin cord of light. I followed the cord down and distinctly made out the light of Tara, which shone as brightly as any on the globe. I could clearly see that her light was seeping into the ground beneath her. The surface was translucent, with the connected point of light on the surface of a dull grayish subterranean mass.
Tara’s light seeped into this mass, illuminating it until the entire globe glowed with her radiance. The other surface lights got brighter and many made light thread connections to the subsurface as well.
Then I became aware that my own light essence, which had been viewing the Earth scene below, began to expand. My light expanded to engulf the moon. As this was occurring other light threads were extending out from the surface of Earth into space. At first there were a few, then dozens. They multiplied into thousands, then millions. My light continued to expand and merge with other light forms that were connected to the Earth as I was. Together we expanded outward to ultimately engulf the planets, the sun and the stars. There was a blinding radiance from above and from below. The scene was so moving my being ached at the grandeur of it all.
The radiance of everything increased in intensity until there was nothing but whiteness. Brilliant whiteness.
***
I felt Tara gently shake my shoulder. My awareness returned to my body and immediate surroundings. When I opened my eyes she said, “I didn’t want to disturb you, but it’s getting late and we should be heading back. It looked like you went pretty deep.” Then she added playfully, “I could tell you were an easy one even on that the first day in the Capitol Hill park,” she laughed.
Though the blissful lightheadedness was gone, I still felt extremely serene and was not interested in disturbing that state by engaging in conversation. I instantly recalled my vision in all its detail but was content to keep it to myself for the moment.
I said very little as we ate apples and trail mix. Several times I caught Tara staring at me. When our eyes met she would break off in a giggly laugh, shaking her head. There was something about me that Tara found very amusing. It wasn’t long before we gathered our things in preparation for the hike down. As we began the precarious descent, the feeling of serenity stayed with me making my progress seem effortless.
We took our first break soon after the most difficult stretch was behind us. After a drink of water and a few minutes of soaking in the surroundings in silence, Tara said, “I think I’m beginning to understand what you said before about the Obligation to colonize outer space, even though the whole concept is very difficult for me. I’m still finding it hard to see beyond the wasteful expense and the limited value of the current space program.”
This pronouncement was more than I was expecting. I had contented myself earlier that it was okay with me if Tara didn’t accept space settlement ideas. I was still processing the information myself, and was a long way from fully comprehending the meaning and significance of it all.
She continued, “But, my change of heart is not from anything you said, but something that happened during my meditation. I’ve been debating whether to even tell you about it.” She paused, and took a breath. “Well, I was very agitated all the way up the mountain by what you said about space colonies and the Endowments, and all that. I couldn’t help feeling that people who wanted to colonize space were copping out, looking to abandon the Earth, just when perhaps she needs us most. I knew that was irrational, but that’s how I felt.
“Anyway, I make it a practice to meditate on the things that bother me the most. In meditation you can actually get some distance between yourself and the thoughts that are causing distress. Meditation can create a space to silently watch the negative thought circulating in the mind, and usually helps you gain new perspective about them. I also visualize the showering of love around the thought, and intentionally release whatever the distressing thought might be.” Seeing my questioning expression, she added, “Don’t look at me like that. Believe me, this stuff really works.
“So, I gave myself over to the source of my agitation. At first my mind resisted and wanted to remain identified with the feelings. Gradually, however, I was able to step out of the thought loop and watch it from a distance. I began to shower my love on to the negative thought, but rather than feeling relief, I became even more distressed. I felt a deep anguish that I couldn’t identify. I cried with tears running down my cheeks. I was surprised you didn’t hear my whimpers. This cry was a purging or cleansing release even though the source or catalyst was unclear.
“Then, suddenly, my awareness shifted and I had the distinct sensation that I was pregnant with a child and feeling the first pangs of labor. I mean, I could really feel a baby in my belly. I felt panicked that I was not ready for this child to come out. The labor pains increased but still I wasn’t ready, until I finally realized what every mother knows: If the child is not born, both the mother and child will die. With that thought and a final push, the child emerged from me with a massive whooosh. And—if you don’t think I’m completely crazy already—I saw the baby floating in space among the stars. Like something straight out of 2001: A Space Odyssey!” She laughed at her own recollection. I felt a rush of emotion at her words, and a deep identification with her story.
She went on, “In that moment, I knew I was Gaia, and I was giving birth to a child that would live out in space somewhere. You believe that? I was Gaia! This is what you were trying to tell me. Our species has to step out into space, even as we seek to protect the mother planet.”
Tara and I looked into each other’s eyes silently for a long moment. We shared a long embrace and kiss. Then, as best I could recall, I told her about my own vision.
***
Our experience on the mountain had renewed our bond more intensely than either of us expected. We stayed in each other’s arms as long as we could back at her hotel room. She had a meeting and I had phone calls to make, but we filled every spare second with playful tender lovemaking.
Way behind schedule, I finally said goodbye to Tara around three that afternoon. I wanted to linger, but I was due in at the Riverside office at nine the next morning, which meant I was looking at a seven to eight hour ride. In the lobby, we hugged firmly and held each other’s gaze, and without a word she was off again to catch a meeting for which she was already late. I watched her quick legs take her away, and I warmed at the thought of seeing her soon in DC.
Just as she disappeared from sight, I heard a familiar laugh just over my shoulder. I turned to see a grinning Mr. Grant.
“It looks like you’ve been having an interesting day.” I should have felt embarrassed. Instead I was calmly pleased to see Mr. Grant. The blissful feeling from the hike easily re-emerged with his presence. My trip to Riverside was to be delayed.
Without hesitating, I asked, “The Twin Obligation is planetary stewardship, isn’t it?”
He laughed softly. “Let’s go find a seat. There’s a nice garden in back of the hotel.” We walked in silence out the back entrance. The urgency I felt a few moments earlier to get underway was gone. A discreet dirt path led to a semi-secluded area surrounding an exceptional cactus and flower garden. Taking in the serenity of the setting, we sat down on two of the chairs that were spaced around the perimeter of the garden.
After a few moments, Mr. Grant began, “I’m glad to see you have discovered the meaning of the Twin Obligation. I hoped you would. Tara is a special woman.”
He paused. I could see his massive chest take in a big breath, hold it for a moment and release it very slowly. He finally continued, “Like the space migration Obligation, the Twin Obligation of planetary stewardship is also tied to human ascendance. These Twin Obligations have always existed, lying dormant until the time came when we would be mature enough to take responsibility for them. On rare occasions throughout history sensitive souls have been stirred by the primordial call of these Obligations. Most often they suffered ridicule, marginalization or worse by cultural conditions driven by basic need for survival through control and competition.
“Nevertheless, there has been a steady progression in the evolution of our capacity to fulfill these Obligations, as well as, of course, the Primary Obligation. With each generation of our technological and social development, we unconsciously inched toward the knowledge and capabilities necessary to take on these Obligations. And finally, in this generation, our collective consciousness is ready to accept these Twin Obligations. We finally have the technical know-how to consciously engage these efforts.
“By fulfilling these Obligations, it’s relatively easy to see how it will ensure the survival of the human race. However, it is more important to understand that in fulfilling the Primary and Twin Obligations, we are preserving and extending the totality of life that emerged on this planet, as well as ensuring its future evolutionary potential. Do you see the distinction?” I nodded as he searched my features for confirmation that I did.
“Regarding the planetary stewardship Obligation in particular, we realize that humankind does not hold dominion over this planet. Rather it is our job to be the servant tenant ensuring that this planet remains healthy and viable for as long as possible.”
I felt a need to ask, “As long as possible?”
“This world, like everything else in the universe, will one day come to an end. All we can hope to achieve is a degree of harmony with her as long as she lives. Reduce our footprint. Assist in restoring the ecology when necessary. Remove harmful toxins. And,” with comic emphasis, “don’t forget to recycle. Over time, we’ll get better at taking care of the planet. But, it is essential that we continue to build on the small steps we’ve made. We have so much farther to go in bringing back balance to the global ecological system.
“For sure, the planetary stewardship Obligation has been fairly well defined in the past twenty years or so. If you ask anyone who is sufficiently conscious, they will likely agree that protecting the environment is our obligation. But, you will probably get the opposite reaction if you suggest that space migration is also an obligation, right?”
“Yes, I suppose so.” I was reminded of my own skepticism toward that Obligation.
“Of course it’s so,” he snapped. “Now, let’s look at these obligations in the broader context of universal constants I’ve already discussed with you. The universe exists or is sustained by the tension between the forces of expansion—all matter since the Big Bang has been expanding—and the tendency for matter to become ever more complex. These are the ultimate Yin and Yang forces governing space and time. These forces play out in infinitely different ways throughout the evolution and function of the universe. In everything I have been trying to relate to you, I am merely attempting to illustrate how these forces are manifesting in a particular way in the context of life that evolved on this particular planet.
“So once again, we have a pair. Like the pairs of Endowments, we have a pair of Obligations, with one associated with the Yin, complexity, planetary stewardship, and the other associated with the Yang, expansion, space migration. To keep this simple, let’s agree that the Primary Obligation embodies both expansion and complexity. Once we as a species can fully embrace this trinity of purpose—to our collective well-being; to the well-being of the planet; and seeding of the stars—then, and only then, will we experience absolute harmony.”
He paused, allowing me to absorb his words. He spoke more softly when he began again. “We are a species that is only now emerging from the throes of adolescence. In one way or another, many people are already committed to the trinity of Obligations, but there is still a long way to go. I believe we can we can look forward to a world in which understanding of the Obligations will be woven into the fabric of our global culture. To not act in accordance with these Obligations will be immediately recognized as counter to the purpose of human life.”
There was an intensity in Mr. Grant I hadn’t seen before. As if he desperately wanted me to grasp the full meaning of all he was conveying. My body was positively pulsating, feeling the words almost more than I was hearing them.
“Don’t be mistaken. This process I’m describing is closer to a scientific theory than it is to a philosophical or spiritual way of thinking. These principles of the Endowments and the Obligations are grounded in an understanding of larger universal patterns that are already well understood. In our own limited way, humankind is expressing those patterns. The Endowments and the Obligations are not the only ways we express these patterns. There are infinite small and large examples in nature and culture where the creative tension between expansion and complexity plays out. The Endowments and the Obligations tells the specific story of the symbiotic relationship humanity has with its birth planet.”
Leaning into my face, he emphasized, “Know these things. And let them guide your life.”
His impassioned instructions suddenly stopped, and I was blissfully engulfed in silence, gazing into the cactus bed, sensing my body processing what Mr. Grant had said. And as my mind expanded beyond the confines of the garden patio, I spied some bees dancing around the few flowers among the cacti, dutifully fertilizing them and blissfully ignorant of it.