I moved about my day smiling the whole time. Even the crankiest person couldn’t upset me today. Today was pay day and I woke up with Jackson this morning. I could hardly believe my day. I changed my clothes and ended my day by going to see Gail.
I knocked on the door and Gail smiled at me. She seemed different when I looked at her today.
“Lacie, my beautiful daughter-in-law. You look amazing. You are glowing. How is my grandbaby doing in there?”
I stopped in the doorway. “Wait, what?”
Gail raised her hands to me. “What is with you and Jax today? Geez, you’d think it was a secret that you’re having a baby together.”
I moved on autopilot into the room. “Wait, what? A baby?”
Gail laughed. “Oh, Lacie, It’s okay. You’re having a baby with your husband. There’s no reason to hide that.” She chuckled. “Soon, you won’t be able to hide it.”
She placed her hand on my stomach and smiled up at me. What the hell is happening?
I moved out of Gail’s reach and told her I had to take care of something, I’d be right back. I went down the hall and called Jackson.
“Hi there, beautiful, how are you?”
I plowed right ahead, “Jackson, your mom thinks we’re married and I’m pregnant! What the hell did you say to her today?”
Jackson started laughing on the other end of the phone.
“Jackson, stop laughing! This isn’t funny!”
He continued to laugh harder.
I waited him out till he stopped laughing and he said, “I’m sorry Lacie. She started that with me this morning and then Dr. Wells came in and I pulled him aside to find out what to do. I tried correcting her Lacie, I swear, but Dr. Wells said to let her go. The more we correct her the more frustrated she could become then she could stop talking all together.”
I sighed and said, “Jackson, I understand but really, married? Having a baby? She put her hand on my stomach Jackson.”
He started laughing again and I knew I lost the battle.
“Jackson stop it. I’ll call you later.” I hung up the phone with him and then I went back in to see Gail. She was smiling at me as soon as I walked back into the room.
“Lacie sweetie. I can’t tell you how happy I am.”
I sat down in the chair and smiled at Gail.
“I’m happy too Gail.”
Her face lit up and she looked into my eyes.
“Jackson was so sad for so long. I’m so glad he found you.”
I thought about her words and I remembered Jackson telling me that I wasn’t the only one who had ever been hurt and lost someone. I wondered what Gail could tell me.
“So Jackson never had a serious relationship?”
Gail laughed a half laugh.
“Oh he was serious about someone once. But that woman was a disaster. She was rude and thought she was better than everyone. My husband said she thought she was God’s gift to the world.”
I couldn’t hide my shock. Jackson hadn’t said anything to me about another woman.
“Really? What happened with them?”
Gail shook her head, “Jackson thought he was in love with her. He even told us he was thinking about marrying her. But then something happened, Jackson wouldn’t speak of it, but he told us they were over. After that he became a machine. Never going out with the same woman twice. Working from sunup to sundown. Then when his dad passed away, he became so focused so driven. He just started to disappear.”
I looked at Gail and saw her drift back in her mind to that time.
“It’s okay Gail. He’s better now. He’s happier.”
She beamed at my words.
“Yes my dear. He is. You are perfect for him. That was plain to see on your wedding day.”
I faltered for a moment. “You remember our wedding?”
Gail had tears in her eyes, “Of course I do. It was one of the happiest days of my life. Seeing the love in your eyes for my boy and him for you. The love you two have for each other is plain to see. You can’t miss it.”
I didn’t quite know what to say to Gail about that. Love? Jackson and me? In love? Did I love him? No, definitely not. I mean we just met. I wasn’t going to fall in love again. I was never doing that to myself again. But then what am I doing with Jackson? This is bad, this is really bad.
“Gail, I’m sorry, but I really have to get going. Are you okay, if I leave and see you tomorrow?”
Gail lifted her arms up to me and I moved into her embrace as she hugged me she said, “Of course dear. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
She kissed my cheek and said, “I love you Lacie, dear. You are so beautiful, I’m lucky to have you as my daughter now.”
Tears formed in my eyes as I pulled back and smiled.
“I love you too Gail. I’m the lucky one.”
I moved as quickly as I could out of the room and had to stop to catch my breath in the hallway. This was bad. I did love that woman. She was the sweetest thing in the world and I don’t want to hurt her, but I don’t think I can play along with this married and baby thing. I can’t fall in love with Jackson. No! It’s just really good sex, that’s what it is. It has to be that. But Jackson doesn’t want to have sex, he wants to slow things down. This is a disaster.
I left the nursing home and drove home. Once there, I called Abigail.
“Abs, help!”
“Lacie? What’s wrong are you okay?”
I sighed loudly, “Yes, no, I don’t know! What am I doing?”
Abigail laughed, “What are we talking about here?”
“Abs, Jackson’s mom has Alzheimer’s. She thinks Jackson and I are married and I’m pregnant!”
Abigail started laughing hysterically, getting out barely, “Congratulations!”
“Abby, stop it! This is not funny. She says she was at our wedding, that we have so much love in our eyes for one another. Love Abby! Love! I’m not in love! I can’t be! Can I?”
I heard Abigail moving around and a door close.
“Lace, honey. Is that what is freaking you out? Do you think you’re in love with him?”
“No! Absolutely not! Not happening! Never! I can’t fall in love, I don’t want to.”
Abigail laughed at me. “Sweetheart, it doesn’t work that way. Love happens whether you want it to or not. You can’t stop it. Answer me a few questions and be honest.”
“Okay, Abs, shoot.”
“Do you think about Jackson when you’re not with him?”
“Yes.”
“Do you like spending time with him?”
“Yes.”
“Okay, now here’s the big one, can you imagine your life without him in it?”
“I can’t answer that Abs.”
“Lacie, can’t answer it, or won’t? I’m not going to push you for an answer. But think about it. Why don’t you make Jackson a nice dinner and talk to him, tell him your fears.”
Dinner, now there was a good idea. I could make him dinner and we could have a nice evening together.
“Thanks, Abs. I guess I’ll be seeing you this weekend. Oh by the way, traitor. You sold me out!”
Abigail laughed and we said goodbye.
I called Jackson’s office number. His secretary answered the phone. “Diamond Corporation, Jackson Hewitt’s office, Lydia speaking, how may I help you?”
Wow that was a mouthful, but she did it beautifully.
“Hi Lydia, I don’t know if you remember me or not, but this is Lacie.”
I could hear the smile in her voice, “Of course, Lacie. Hold on and I can get Jackson for you.”
“No, Lydia stop. I wanted to talk to you.”
Lydia seemed hesitant, “Okay, what did you need?”
Perfect, I got Lydia on board and I was going to shower. Grab a change of clothes, then head to the market, so I could meet Lydia at Jackson’s house. I was going to knock his socks off with dinner. I loved cooking, but I never did it because I didn’t have the money for food. I would probably regret this because my bank account would suffer from buying the food at market, but I’ll just cut something out this month with my bills.
After getting all I needed, I was sitting in front of Jackson’s house waiting for Lydia to pull up.
When she did, the first words out of her mouth were, “I’m so happy you are giving him a chance.”
“Lydia, relax. It’s just dinner.”
She moved to the front door, unlocked it and walked in with me.
“I know, but Lacie, you two are just perfect for each other. You really make him happy.”
I moved into the kitchen and put the bags down.
“Lydia, please. No pressure here, okay. I don’t know what is happening with Jackson. Everything is moving so fast.”
Lydia nodded at me. “I understand. Jackson can be rather, pushy.”
I laughed, “No, not Jackson. How long will he be working do you think?”
Lydia looked at her watch. “Probably till at least seven.”
I looked at the clock. It was nearing six now. “Perfect. Want some wine? I’ll open a bottle and you can keep me company while I cook?”
Lydia nodded. I went to Jackson’s wine fridge. Hopefully he wouldn’t mind. We drank and talked while I cooked up a dinner I hoped he would enjoy.
I had everything ready to go and in the oven and cooking on the stove. I moved to sit with Lydia and I couldn’t help but ask her more about Jackson.
“So he was really bad to work with before me?”
She waved her hand and rolled her eyes. “He was awful. He didn’t even know my name. He was always grumbling, yelling about how incompetent everyone was and just stomping around everywhere.”
I laughed. “Really? I can’t picture that. He’s been so sweet with me and, well, okay, maybe I can see a little bit. He is very determined and driven, but he has such a soft side.”
I stopped to think about the things Jackson has done and said to me since I met him.
Lydia snorted a laugh, “Sweet side? Ha! Maybe now, but originally or pre-Lacie, not a chance in hell I’d agree with that statement.”
I laughed at Lydia’s comment and we became silent for a few minutes.
“Can I ask you something Lacie?”
I took a sip of my wine and smiled at her, “Sure.”
“I know I’m butting in here, but do you think you can give him a chance? He really does care about you. I see it. He smiles and his eyes light up when he talks about you. I catch him in his office staring out the window from time to time, smiling. He didn’t do that before.”
I took another sip of my wine and thought about how to answer her. “I’m terrified Lydia. To be perfectly honest, I don’t know what is going to happen with Jackson and me. I can only tell you that he makes me happier than I’ve been in a long time. But that terrifies me. I’ve closed off my heart a long time ago. I don’t want to let anyone in, not again.”
Lydia looked at me, “I understand. Love is scary. But what’s scarier is loneliness. Think about it. I’m going to get going. I hope Jackson is surprised.”
I stood up to walk Lydia to the door, her words still rumbling through my head.
“Thanks, Lydia.” She turned at the door to look at me. Then she reached out and hugged me.
“Anytime.”
I hugged her back, she turned and left me holding the door open watching her go.
What was happening? Lydia was wrong, love is scarier than anything. I checked on my dinner and then went up to Jackson’s room. I put my bag of clothes in his room and I changed into one of my nicest dresses. It was light blue and it was a wraparound dress. It tied at the waist and met my legs at mid-thigh. It wasn’t anything fancy, but it looked good on me. I brushed my hair out and slipped my feet into the heels I rarely wore. I checked my reflection in the mirror. Good enough, I moved back through Jackson’s house to the dining room and set the table, I lit some candles and dimmed the lights. I put on some music after much button pushing on his sound system. All ready.