“Every morning is a gift, every sunrise is a blessing, every excuse to fill my coffee cup is truly the greatest gift of all.” Lacie Page was my name, and that was my mantra, my motivation to get moving in the morning. I sipped my coffee and enjoyed the smell, and the effect it held over my body by warming it from the inside all the way through to my outside. I was ready for anything, ready for the world to throw at me what it may. Every day held surprises and secrets. What would today hold? What would be my challenge for the day?
My thoughts weren’t always this happy. They weren’t always so positive. There was a dark time, but now, I chose to live in the light. I drank my coffee and as every morning, I thought of what brought me to today. What scars I held, what life had thrown my way. I thought about all the things that broke me down and wore me to the very core of my being, and I remembered how, at one time, I thought I was broken. I thought nothing would ever pull me out and nothing would ever matter again. Sure, there were people who survived worse tragedies than I, and still held their head up high, but for me, the past nearly broke me. Every day was my chance to make it better than the last. No more self-pity, no more brokenness. I was whole again, or as whole as I was ever going to be and allow myself to be. I embraced all that happened to me and all that was to come, because that was what made me who I was now. It wasn’t all pretty, but it was me.
I looked around my apartment. Yes, it was cleaned by my hands, but it was small and in need of much repair, but I’m able to afford it for now. I had a roof over my head. That was what mattered. Some days, I didn’t have food, but coffee would always be there for me. Some way, somehow, I would be sure of that. Someday, I’d have my own home, with curtains, a fence, a front porch, and hell, maybe a dog. “Not today, Lace! Today it’s time for coffee and to get to work.”
Work was Sunny Spot Nursing Home right here in town in Kirktown, New Jersey. It was a quiet town, but it had all I needed—a grocery store, mall, minimal night life, and my place of employment. There was a park, and trails as well to roam, and my favorite place of all, the public library and bookstore. Besides working and caring for our elderly, I loved to read and write. I had an old computer that didn’t have updates, but the word documents worked just fine for writing thoughts and things. I went to the library and printed whatever I needed, or sometimes at work I could access the computers to print off my works in progress. Using a flash drive to back up the work, I carried it around with me as well as notebooks. You never knew when the words would strike, or something would inspire my mind.
I drove to work in a beat-up Jeep, carrying an extra cup of coffee for the ride. I loved my job. On the drive to work, I thought about all the people I care for. I loved them all. I loved playing checkers against Lou in the game room. He always found a way to beat me. I played cards with Max. He was a real Rummy fan. I also helped the women with their hair and a little bit of makeup or nail polish for those who wanted it. Generally, I would go in early to help them off the clock, then when my shift would start, I would be at their beck and call for drinks, meals, straightening up their rooms, and whatever they were in need of. I was assigned a certain group daily and was a nurse’s aide. I didn’t get paid much in money, but my heart got paid every day I was blessed with time around this generation.
I let the sun shine on my face on my drive to work, thinking about my newest resident I’d been caring for. She was in her seventies. She was feisty and made me laugh. Her name was Gail, and she was a firecracker. The woman didn’t hold her words. She suffered from Alzheimer's issues. She was in the early stages, but she tried not to let it slow her down. She would forget some things. She’d get confused at times and there were times she would say things that weren’t quite right, but I embraced her and whatever her mind was trying to get out. I’d let her try and sort it through.
Her daughter was in her mid-thirties. Her son, Jax, was a few years older than his sister. I had met the daughter, Kerrigan, and loved her. She was quick-witted and cared about her mom. She was also very close in age to me, so I could relate to her well. Kerrigan had one child, Lucy, an inquisitive little girl that I just adored. Gail kept me on my toes and never ceased to amaze me. She never seemed to let age or a failing mind stop her.
“Today is a beautiful day, Lacie. Let’s make someone else shine.” Another mantra I said every morning as I exited my Jeep to head into the building. “Morning, Ray!”
The security guard at the desk lit up. “Miss Lacie, good morning. How is the most beautiful girl in the world today?”
“Oh, Ray, you’re a smooth talker. I’m fine. How’s your wife, the kids?”
Ray nodded and beamed. “All well, thank you.”
I kept moving slowly toward the floor I work on, as I said, “See you later, Ray. Gotta get to my girls this morning.”
Ray nodded. “Of course, have a wonderful day, Lacie.” I smiled and off I went to start another day.
As I reached my floor for the residents, I saw Lou already at the checkerboard. “Lou, what are you doing up so early?”
Lou smiled broadly at me. “Lacie! I’m warming up. You know, I have an unbeatable record. I need to stay sharp to keep that title.”
I laughed. “Are you ever going to let me win?”
Lou grinned. “Aww, my sweet girl, one day, but not until your skills improve.”
I patted his shoulder, and we laughed with each other.
“I’m off to see my ladies. I’ll catch you later. Save me a spot around lunchtime.”
Lou winked at her. “You got it, Lacie.”
As I moved to a few of the women’s rooms, I smiled at how comfortable I was here with these people. The women whose rooms I moved toward knew I would be there to get their hair combed out from the curlers I’d put in before I left last evening. They could count on me, and, in a way, I counted on them, too. After I got them all primped and ready for their breakfast, I’d head to clock in for the day.
Every morning I arrived around seven a.m. and made time for some of the residents, then clocked in by nine. I was a nine-to-fiver, however, I would stay through dinner to sit with my residents who needed me. Most of them headed to the dining hall for socialization. However, sometimes, one or two would stay back in their rooms and I would sit with them while they ate. Normally, Gail preferred a quiet dinner in her room, and I was happy to spend time with her.
Morning was a busy time, but I thrived with the craziness. I’d hum to myself while making my way through the day, answering any call bells that would ring, buzzing in and out of rooms to clean up things, and check on everyone. But mostly, I was giving them a smile and listening while doing my work. My friend, Vanessa, would always question how I could be so happy all the time. Smiling, I’d tell her, “I have too many things to accomplish in life. I want to stay focused, positive and make a difference.”
Vanessa knew my heartbreaks and my darkness. She envied me for my courage to focus on being better, careful not to let it pull me down. Today was Vanessa’s day off, so I stayed focused on my duties and getting through the day. The days were longer without my friend here, but I loved my work.
My lunch break led to a beating at the checkerboard with Lou.
“Lou! Come on, what is the secret? What am I not doing right?”
“Concentrate, my girl. You must focus on the game, anticipate my next move. You take the easy path. That’s when I sneak in and catch you unguarded.”
Every time I complained about losing, Lou would tell me that. Boy, how those statements resonated with most of my life.
“Okay, Lou, you got me. I need to get back to work.”
Lou laughed as I moved to him. “Thanks for the beating, Lou, as always.”
Kissing his cheek, I moved on my way.
After lunch, I had a few more rooms to get to, some things to do for the nurses, then I would be heading in to finish my day and have some quiet time with Gail. I enjoyed getting to know her. Our dinner-time talks were so wonderful. I could count on Gail to shoot straight as well as giving laughs.
Most of the staff at Sunny Spot smiled as I walked by and greeted me warmly. Not one to gossip or slow down throughout the day, I was a nose-to-the-grindstone worker. I enjoyed my work. I’d hear people talk about me. Some of the staff felt I made them look bad, but that wasn’t my intent. All I wanted was to do the job, do it well, and be able to give attention to the residents. Let’s face facts, my apartment wasn’t much to look at. I was usually alone on the off hours and nose in a book or writing, so the interaction at the nursing home was good for me as well as the residents.
I punched out, changed my clothes to my street clothes so that I could be comfortable, as well as making others aware I was off the clock and on my time. I headed to Gail’s room and knocked.
“Yes, yes, my dear. Come in.”
I smiled at her as I entered the room. I pulled up my usual seat next to the chair Gail preferred to sit in, and we watched some of the nightly news while Gail ate her dinner. We bantered back and forth about the news. After a half hour of the news, Gail would always turn it off and say, “Rubbish! What’s new with Lacie?”
It was standard, a routine that Gail kept. It helped her, so I always played along. “Nothing new for me, Gail. I spend most of my time here.”
Gail waved me off. “When are you going to tell me some exciting things? Do you ever go out?”
I laughed. “Not often.”
Gail tsked me. “Really? Look at you. You have gorgeous black hair down your back, such bright blue eyes, and if I still had your figure, girl, I’d be strutting through these halls, making eyes roam.”
I burst out laughing. “Gail, stop!”
Funny thing was, I could imagine Gail doing just that, creating a scene.
Gail smirked at me. “Have you written anything new lately?”
I nodded my head yes.
“Well, when are you going to let me read it or, better yet, read it to me? My eyes aren’t as good as they used to be.”
I smiled.
“I’ve been working on something different. Not just a poem, but a story. Maybe a novel… who knows?”
Gail rubbed her hands together excitedly.
“When do I get to hear some of it?”
I shook my head. “I don’t know. It’s still just in process. I think it’s scattered. Let me work some more on it and we’ll see.”
Gail quirked her eyebrow. “We’ll see? I’m not getting any younger, Little Miss, so let’s move it along and just bring it in here, and we’ll see together.”
Smiling at her, I relented. “Okay, Gail. Tomorrow, I’ll bring some with me to read to you. Who knows, maybe reading it out loud will give me more direction.”
Gail clapped her hands. “Great. Now get your ass out of here and go have a drink in a public place where people can see you. Try to find yourself a date.”
I laughed. “Gail, I don’t date. I don’t have time.”
Gail waved her off. “Oh please. I’m the one on borrowed time. You, my girl, have all the time in the world. Get out there, go. Promise me, at least one drink in a bar or a restaurant.”
Nodding, I said, “You win. Goodnight. See you in the morning.”
Leaving Sunny Spot and heading home, I passed my favorite restaurant/bar, The Tavern. Stopping, I thought, Okay, Gail, you win. I had enough money for a tap beer and a burger. The prices were cheap as it was a little dive bar. I shouldn’t splurge, but having not splurged in a while, it was time. I walked through the door and grabbed a seat at the bar. I ordered a black and blu burger and a draft, Sam Adams.
“Where have you been, Lacie?” Joe the bartender asked.
“Just been working, Joe.”
He winked at me and said, “Burger’s on me tonight, Lace.”
I shook my head. “No, Joe. I got it. It’s okay.”
Joe was about the age my dad would be if he’d lived beyond his fifty-fourth birthday. Joe always looked out for me. He called me Lace, most of the times he talked to me, instead of Lacie. It brought back memories of Dad.
“I don’t care what you say, Lace. I got it tonight. Say thank you. End of discussion.”
I smiled at Joe. He did this all the time and I never won.
“Thank you, Joe.”
He smiled, then moved on around the bar. The waitress brought the burger out and I dug in. Since Joe was filling me with food, maybe I’d stay for a second drink tonight. The music was relaxing, and the food felt good in my stomach. I deserved to look at something other than the four walls of my apartment.