Being with Abigail was the most hilarious experience of my life. The girl was just like Trinity when she wasn’t with her girls. A thousand questions without a breath, excitement in everything I said or grilling me at least for all the details of how I planned to propose.
“Jeez Abigail, Trinity much?”
I couldn’t help but use Lacie’s phrase and Abigail laughed so hard I didn’t think she’d be able to come back from the laughter. She was gasping for air and holding her stomach. I just smiled and drove through town in the direction she had pointed me.
Abigail was able to pull herself together and she said, “I guess we now know who Trinity takes after. You do realize that this is how I got Lacie to do so much with me in high school. I truly was the bad influence on her. Only it didn’t stick, she was always such a good girl.”
I glanced over at her and said, “Really? So she didn’t sneak out with you and kiss the boys?”
Abigail laughed, “Oh she snuck out, but she always told me she was only doing it to make sure I made it home safely and to keep me out of serious trouble.”
I laughed and could imagine Lacie being the mother hen.
“What about boys? Didn’t they want to be with her? I can’t imagine that there wasn’t anyone interested in her.”
Abigail stared at me, I could feel her eyes on me as we drove.
“There were boys as you say. But Lacie was Lacie. She always found a way to push them away. She managed a few boyfriends in high school, she was curious, but she also was very guarded. She watched her parents’ divorce and be bitter. She didn’t hold much hope or faith, if you will, on love. She let idiots like James and Rex make her feel like they were all she deserved. That the way they treated her was okay, because that was all she was worth. I tried to make her see how much more she deserved but she just lacked the confidence in herself. She always said she wasn’t meant to be loved.”
I pulled the SUV over and parked on the street where Abigail told me to and I looked at her.
“How do I get her past that? How do I make her see it and believe it?”
Abigail shook her head, “There isn’t anything you can do to make her see it. She has to see it and believe it for herself. Jackson, I believe that you are the best thing that could have ever happened to her. I can’t wait to see where you two end up because I just have a really good feeling about this. I want to finally see Lacie be free. Just be patient.”
I nodded and opened my door heading around to help Abigail out of the SUV and she giggled.
“What?”
She smiled at me, “I just can’t believe that you rushed around the car to help me. You really are something aren’t you Jackson?”
I laughed at her and said, “Come on, I need to find my princess a ring.”
We walked the town and she showed me some of the places that she and Lacie hung out as kids. She told me so much about her that I felt like I’d known her my whole life instead of the short time I have known her. We laughed as Abigail told me stories of their adventures when they were supposed to be home in bed and I couldn’t believe the chaos Abigail was capable of creating. She told me how Lacie was glad when Shawn started to spend the evenings with her because then she at least knew that she wouldn’t get into trouble and Lacie felt better about staying home instead of sneaking out.
“It sounds like you definitely kept things lively for Lacie. How is it though that Shawn never found a friend for Lacie to be with? I mean he was on the football team and you said how he tried to set her up at the bonfire, weren’t there other times as well?”
Abigail stopped on the sidewalk and looked at me.
“There was one guy that Shawn set her up with besides the bonfire guy. He really liked Lacie. He tried to break through her barriers. He was her first.”
Abigail stopped talking.
“Her first what? First love, first kiss? What?”
Abigail turned a serious look on me. “Her first everything. He gave her the first real kiss. She fell in love with him and he was her first sexual partner. He loved her too. They spent a lot of time together and essentially he broke her heart the hardest.
“Lacie never talks about him and she probably never will because although James hurt her, she never really loved him. Rex lied, cheated, and raped her, but her heart had already been hardened. The only thing I believe that hurt her more than her first love was losing her baby and her dad.”
I looked at Abigail and asked, “What happened?”
Abigail shook her head. “I can’t. I’m sorry, Jackson, but I can’t. You have to ask her. I don’t even know the whole story. She needs to let it out and she needs to let go. Someday, when the time is right, ask her about her first love. Until then, just know that there are some things that just need to heal with time.”
I shook my head, “That’s not fair, Abigail. You know Lacie won’t want to tell me. Please, you need to tell me.”
She shook her head then she started walking.
“Okay, rings! Let’s look in here. What price range and what style? Any ideas?”
I was left standing on the sidewalk in front of the town’s jewelry store with more questions swirling in my head. What happened to the mystery boyfriend and why wouldn’t Abigail tell me? I followed her into the store after a brief pause and then Abigail took over. We had rings out in front of us and all I could do was put the conversation to the back of my mind and focus on the here and now and the future.
“Perfect!” Abigail squealed with delight at the ring. I smiled because I knew it was absolutely the right ring for my princess. It was the most exquisite ring I’d ever seen. The ring was a white gold halo diamond. It had one-third carat of diamonds going down the sides of the band. The main diamond was round, three-quarters of a carat and it sparkled just like Lacie did. It was absolutely stunning. Now to find the perfect moment to propose.
We left the jewelry store and went to grab a bite to eat and some coffee. We talked about a few ideas I had for the proposal and we talked about Abigail, Shawn and the girls, but we didn’t talk about Lacie’s first love again. I wanted to know, I needed to know what happened. I thought the whole thing with Rex was bad enough to make her not want to date, but if there was someone else who hurt her more, how would I get her to love and trust me completely?
We headed back to Abigail and Shawn’s house and as soon as we pulled in the girls ran to us. Lacie and Shawn were on the front porch looking relaxed despite looking after two young girls.
“Mommy Aunt Lacie and Daddy took us to the park. Aunt Lacie cried and Daddy hugged her but we had fun.” Trinity just blurted it all out.
I loved this kid because she had no filter. I looked up at Lacie and our eyes met. Then she looked away.
Shawn chuckled, “Motor mouth!”
I looked at Abigail and she shrugged. I moved to the porch and looked at Lacie.
She avoided looking in my eyes and said, “It’s just been an emotional weekend. I’m fine.”
I didn’t like that she wouldn’t look at me. I let it go for now and sat down in the chair next to hers.
Abigail looked at her daughter and said, “You know Trinity, that mouth is going to get you in trouble one day. You can’t tell everyone everything, sometimes you need to keep things to yourself.”
Trinity looked at her, shrugged then ran off with her sister. Abigail moved to the porch and joined us.
“I’m not even going to ask what my husband said to make you cry, but I will say, I hope whatever it was brought some sense to you and made you see what you’re missing out on. I love you Lacie but open your eyes and see.”
With those words, Abigail moved into the house and Lacie mumbled, “Excuse me.” She got up and followed Abigail into the house.
I cleared my throat then looked at Shawn.
“What the hell is going on?”
Shawn shrugged. “I told her about Abs and me. We had a difficult time back when Ella was born. I had an affair. I’m not proud of it. In fact, it was a very low point in my life. I told Lacie in the hopes it would make her see that love can overcome many things. Including her past.”
I stood up and turned my back to him.
“I suppose you’re not going to tell me either. Abigail told me some cryptic thing about Lacie’s first love. I don’t suppose you want to tell me what happened?”
I turned back to face Shawn. He looked up at me and shook his head.
“Man, it’s not that I don’t want to tell you. I just don’t know enough. Adam was Lacie’s other half for a while, as Lacie was his. All I truly know is Adam is gone and Lacie blames herself. The truth of what happened is locked inside of her. She hasn’t told anyone.”
I moved back to sit down in the chair I just got out of.
“Gone as in moved away?”
Shawn shook his head no.
“Gone as in dead. He committed suicide.”
I couldn’t help the look of shock that escaped my face.
“What?”
Shawn looked at my face and said, “I’m sorry. I just don’t know a whole lot more than that. Adam had a promising future in football, smart as a whip, and was ready to go off to college. Lacie was going to go to school too, but they weren’t going to the same one. They went off together one night and then the next day, Adam was dead. Wait, that didn’t come out right. Lacie and Adam went off to talk, then Adam took her home. When morning came, that’s when we all found out about Adam.”
I was in shock. Poor Lacie. She truly did lose everyone that she loved. No wonder she was resistant to let me in.
“Wow. How do I get her to trust that I’m not going to leave her too? I mean, come on, this is bad. She’s never spoken to anyone about what happened?”
Shawn shook his head no.
“She wouldn’t even tell his parents about the talk they had. She’s kept that locked inside. The only thing she’s said was that she didn’t know he was going to hurt himself. He never let on that he would and if he had, she would never have left him that night. It was believed by everyone except his parents. Adam was very together. No one would have ever suspected that he would have committed suicide, but his parents blame her for losing their son, and Lacie blames herself for not knowing.”
“That’s crazy, Shawn. How could she have known? Lacie would never hurt anyone.”
I was in disbelief.
Shawn nodded. “I said more than I should have, but I believe you truly love her and I want to see you in her life. You are good for her. Just don’t give up. Whatever happened is locked deep inside of her, and until you, she’s never fully let herself go. I don’t know how you broke through, but you did. Don’t stop. Keep pushing her.”
Shawn got up and headed inside to see what was going on between Abigail and Lacie. I just sat there and watched the girls run around playing, wondering how I could get Lacie to let go of all the pain she’s held inside.