We got to the bowling alley and Shawn and Abigail went in ahead of us. I asked Shawn to get us a lane. I pulled Lacie aside and pushed her up against the side of my SUV.
“Are you mad at me, Princess?”
She shook her head no.
“Words, Princess. You know I want the words.”
She just looked at me.
“I’m sorry, but not really. That guy was a dick. He touched you, he was saying offensive things and he deserved more than what I did to him for what he put you through and for the way he talked to you. No one will ever talk to you that way around me. Ever!”
I saw her shiver.
“Are you cold, Princess? Why are you not talking to me?”
Her eyes were locked on mine.
“Because you are not letting me say a word, Jeez, Trinity much? I am not mad at you. I know Rex is a dick. Yes, he upset me but you protecting me was so freaking hot. I mean, I have to sleep in Trinity’s bed tonight. We’re not going to be alone at all and I’m, well, ugh…never mind.”
She tried to push past me, but I held her firm.
“Words Lacie. I want to hear it. You’re what?”
I bent my head down to kiss her neck.
“Tell me, Lacie? Do you want me? Are you wet for me? Did I show you how much I want you by standing up to that dick?”
I felt her breath hitch. I felt the moan escape, I knew what she wanted. Hell, I did too, but it wasn’t happening. I pulled back to look in her eyes. I saw it there.
“Shit, Lacie, do not answer any of that. Let’s go.”
I moved back from her and pulled her hand to move her toward the bowling alley with me.
We got inside, got our shoes and we took a warm-up then started the game. I was hot. I was on a roll. It was girls against guys and I had just bowled three strikes in a row. Lacie was up after me and I loved stepping back and watching her. She was impressive. Her bowling was good. She was a little rusty, but she was giving me a run for my money. Shawn and I were up by a bit and we were having a great time. I got up to bowl again.
Lacie stood when I did. She moved with me. She picked up my ball and handed it to me, then she threw my whole game off. She moved up onto her tiptoes, pulled my head to her and said in my ear.
“Yes, I want you. Yes, I’m so wet for you and yes, you showed me how much you want me. But I want to feel you inside of me and I want to feel you come inside of me to mark me as yours. I want to feel you there tomorrow when I wake up knowing that you took me hard and drove the point home that I am yours. Make me yours Jackson.”
She bit my earlobe then she moved away.
Oh fuck! I stepped up to bowl and I lost my focus, my ball hooked and slid into the gutter. I locked eyes with her as I walked back to wait for my ball to return and her eyes weren’t triumphant, that wasn’t her game, her eyes were smoldering, she wanted me. Shit, I was done.
The bowling game was fun but we triumphed. The guys won. I got my composure back, just barely and finished out the game. We headed back to Abigail and Shawn’s for them to put the girls to bed as Abigail promised them they could stay up until we got back.
Abigail was putting Ella to bed. Trinity wrangled Lacie to read her a bed-time story and put her to bed. I walked upstairs to go to the bathroom and stood outside her door to listen.
“The princess was all dressed up and ready for a night out with her prince, but what did she really know about being a princess? Was she ready to step into his life?”
“Yes Aunt Lacie, she is. The princess is always ready for the prince when he finds her. You have to believe.”
I heard Lacie chuckle.
“Yes you are right Trinity. The princess stepped up her game. No more feeling sorry for herself it was time to make her prince see who she really was. It was time to be the best princess ever. She went to dinner with the prince. He had a beautiful place picked out. They had live music all to themselves, the moon, the stars and a beautiful lake to look at. They talked, stared into one another’s eyes,”
“And danced Aunt Lacie. They always have to dance.”
“Hey who’s telling this story.”
“You Aunt Lacie, but I don’t want you to forget anything.”
Lacie sighed.
“I will never forget Trinity. Of course they danced. He stood reaching out for her hand and led her under the moonlit sky to sway to the beautiful music. Although the princess didn’t need the music because her heart was already making her own rhythm. The prince smelled so good and when the princess looked into his eyes, he kissed her making her feel like there was no mistake, she was the one for his kingdom.”
I stood there listening to the story that was obviously being made up by Lacie as she went along and it sounded an awful lot like their night together.
“Aunt Lacie, you tell the best stories.”
“I know, right? Now I think it’s time for you to go to sleep.”
“Aunt Lacie, do you love Jackson?”
I was ready to walk away but I froze.
“Yes, I do.”
“Do you think you’ll marry him?”
“I think that’s enough questions for one night. It’s really getting late and you need to sleep.”
“But Aunt Lacie, if you marry him and you have kids like Mommy and Daddy, will you still want to visit me? Will you still love me?”
My heart clenched in my chest. That little girl was something else. She was the absolute sweetest, most adorable child ever. I moved on to let Lacie answer her. I already knew the answer. That little girl was a part of both our lives forever. I used the bathroom and headed downstairs to the porch where Shawn held a beer out to me.
“Hey, man, I really appreciate you taking the responsible part and driving tonight. I can’t tell you when Abs and I have gotten to go out and both drink without worrying about who was going to drive home.”
I nodded to him.
“No problem. I told you I would protect Lacie. I would never put her at risk just for a drink.”
Shawn looked at me tentatively but then said, “You really do love her don’t you?”
I nodded not needing to say anymore.
Abigail came out then and said, “Shawn, stop tormenting him.”
“Abs, I’m not. We’re just talking.”
I came to Shawn’s defense.
“He’s not tormenting me. It’s all good. So what’s the plan for tomorrow?”
Abigail said that we could go after lunch to look at rings, but in the morning she needed to be at the house. I agreed that would be fine and before we could discuss more Lacie came out.
She moved next to me, seemingly deep in thought.
“You okay, Princess?”
She nodded.
I cleared my throat. “Words.”
She looked up at me as the tears formed in her eyes.
“I think the night is just catching up with me.”
Abigail arched a brow at her.
“The night or my daughter?”
I looked at Abigail, she must have overheard the conversation as well.
Lacie moved to the railing of the porch and stared out at the night sky.
“Running into Rex tonight was rough. Hearing him talk about the baby and my dad hurt. He was cruel and hearing him I couldn’t help but question why I had thought I was in love with him. I mean who could be so callus when talking about their child and a man who was killed? What’s wrong with me?”
Before I could move Abigail was on her feet next to her.
“Nothing is wrong with you. He played you. He pretended he was someone he wasn’t. You didn’t know. How could you know when he hid that part of himself from you? Lacie this is not worth the distress you are letting it cause.”
“Let her talk Abigail. I want to hear where this is going.”
I heard the words come from my mouth before I could stop them. Lacie and Abigail turned to look at me. Lacie locked eyes with me and Abigail went to sit next to her husband.
“What if I’m wrong again? What if my heart is blinding my head? What happens when the newness wears off and I’m just another girl? What happens if this continues and I want to come here to see my friends? Will I be asking too much to leave for days to come here?”
I stood up and approached her but I did not touch her.
“You are not wrong about me. I promise you. Your heart is safe with me. The newness as you call it will never wear off because every day with you is new, exciting and perfect. As far as coming here. This is your home too. These people are your family and hopefully mine too one day. I heard Trinity ask you about still loving her. My heart melted. I love her and I have only just met her. Ella too although she doesn’t like boys right now. I could never stop. I will always want to see them and be a part of their lives with you.”
I stared at her and waited. She wasn’t done yet. I could see the questions brewing in her head. Evidently so could Shawn and Abigail. They stayed silent, waiting the tension out. I watched her face as the confusion, the pain, the uncertainty of it all crossed over her.
“If I have a child, how can I still work, take care of it, a home and you? You have a busy life, an important job and how can I do all that and still come here?”
I moved closer to her.
“We can move. I’ll move us here. Sell my house, buy something here. Whatever you want Lacie. I would do anything for you. Anything.”
She shook her head.
“No Jackson. Your mother, your sister. Your company. I won’t let you do that.”
Abigail was frustrated. She stood up and Shawn reached for her.
“Lacie. Stop it! You are pushing him away. Why? Just stop it! I can’t watch you do this. I can’t!”
She stormed off and Shawn apologized heading after her. It was just Lacie and me.
“She’s right you know. You are pushing me away. Why? Have I not proven myself to you? Do you not believe me Lacie? Do you not trust me with your heart?”
She turned her back to me but didn’t answer.
“I watched you long enough to see this for what it is. You are afraid to let me in. You are afraid to just let things happen. You are afraid I’ll disappear or change overnight. It’s not happening Lacie. You may as well face it. You are stuck with me. I’m not going to let you push me away, nor am I going to do the things that others have done to you. Yes, I was wrong in that I never discussed protection with you and I took you not caring if you got pregnant or not. Not caring what that would do to you or taking what you wanted into consideration. I was wrong. Do I regret it or would I change it if I could? Hell no. That is one thing I will never change. If I’m too much for you Lacie and if you are carrying my child, I will take care of you both, but I would never push you into something you didn’t want. I promise you. I will hate life without you, but I would never hurt you like that. Get some rest. Tomorrow the sun will rise and it will be a new day. Put tonight behind us.”
I left her there on the porch alone. I could do no more. I had nothing left. I didn’t know how to stop her fears from coming back day after day. So I went inside and made myself comfortable on the sofa. I tried to settle my brain and let the sleep take me from my thoughts. I heard her come in and lock the door about an hour later. I didn’t stop her. I just closed my eyes and pretended to be asleep. She stopped to look at me. I felt her standing beside me. I could have moved, I could have pulled her to me, but I didn’t. I just let her go, for now.
Morning came and I felt hands on my face.
“Fishy lips. Make fishy lips.”
I cracked an eye open and found Trinity pressing her hands to my face. When my eyes opened, she leaned her nose to mine.
“Good you are awake! Time to play.”
I groaned.
I heard Abigail, “Trinity. Stop it! Leave Jackson alone.”
She pulled back and looked over the sofa at her mom.
“No, Mommy. I just want to talk to him.”
I smiled at the young girl and said, “It’s okay Abigail, I’m awake.”
I heard her laugh as she walked away. I sat up and Trinity climbed onto the sofa and into my lap.
“Okay, so Aunt Lacie told me a princess story last night and we talked so now it’s your turn.”
I wiped my hand over my face.
“Trinity, I am not a good storyteller. I can’t tell stories like Aunt Lacie does.”
She looked at me and raised her brow at me.
“Okay, then I’ll ask you questions.”
“Trinity!”
I heard Abigail yell at her.
“What?”
I raised my hand to stop Abigail.
“Go ahead Trinity. Ask away.”
She reached out and touched the button of my shirt.
“Do you always sleep in the same clothes you go out in?”
I chuckled.
“No. I just didn’t bring appropriate sleep wear with me so I made do with this.”
She rolled her eyes at me.
“You told me you love Aunt Lacie so when will you marry her so I can be in the wedding.”
“Trinity! That is enough!”
Abigail was coming from the kitchen to take her. But I stopped her.
“Abigail, it’s okay. I don’t know when I’ll marry Aunt Lacie. That is going to depend on her. Right now Aunt Lacie isn’t sure she loves me. I have to wait for her to catch up.”
The child didn’t stop. Her mind was still going.
Abigail stood beside the sofa and watched us.
“But you love Aunt Lacie right?”
I looked at her then at Abigail.
“Yes I love her. I love her more than anything in the world.”
“More than ice cream?”
I laughed.
“Yes more than ice cream.”
Trinity sat quietly for a moment and Abigail smiled at me.
“Jackson?”
I looked at her.
“Yes Trinity?”
“Can I call you Uncle?”
I smiled at her.
“Of course you can. In fact, you can call me Uncle Jax if you like. I would be so happy to have you call me that.”
She moved and kissed my cheek.
“I love you Uncle Jax and I know Aunt Lacie does too.”
With that she moved off my lap and down to the floor to entertain herself.
“My daughter is a very wise little one. She’s right. Lacie does love you. She’s just letting her fear drive her again. I think seeing Rex really freaked her out last night. Don’t give up on her.”
Abigail placed her hand on my shoulder. I looked up at her.
“I can’t give up on her. It would be like giving up on the air that I breathe if I did that. I meant what I said last night. I would do anything for her.”
She nodded at me then moved back into the kitchen. I stood folding the blankets she left for me last night, then went to the kitchen to grab a cup of coffee. I took a few sips then said, “Do you mind if I grab a shower and head out for a little?”
She looked up at me and said, “Not at all. Just one question, are you coming back?”
I grinned at her.
“Of course I am. I would never leave Lacie. I just have some place I need to go. In fact, I’ll need directions from you too.”
I showered then hit the road with the directions that Abigail gave me. I arrived a few minutes later at the cemetery. I followed Abigail’s directions. I found the pond went up to the circle then stopped before the circle. I got out of the car then walked to the tree and there it was. Her dad’s grave. I stood there for a few minutes and wondered what to do. I mean do you really talk or do you just stand here silently and ask for the guidance you need. Whenever I went to my dad’s grave, I talked business. I usually had some issue I needed to resolve and I’d go to him for help, so I guess talk it is.
“I know you don’t know me Mr. Page but I’m hopefully going to be the man that marries your daughter. I’m hoping with your blessing this marriage. I love her more than anything in this world. I want to take care of her. I want to have a family with her. I know I went about that the wrong way, but can you blame me? She’s always running away from me. I just want her to stay. Stay with me. Your daughter is so beautiful. She’s smart. She’s such a great aunt and friend. She is also headstrong, stubborn and frustrating. Some days feel like I’ll never figure her out and then she’ll make a face or arch an eye at me and I can read her like a book. I want her to move in with me and I want to get her out of that apartment. She can continue working if she wants or just volunteer. I can more than support her and any number of children we’d have. I promise you I’ll never hurt her. I will always love her.”
I paused for a moment then said, “I really wish you were here to give me a sign. Anything to let me know you’re okay with this.”