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Kami decided on another twenty steps. Physio treatments and exercises were working, and the setbacks caused by the canoe disaster were fading away. Another twenty steps would take her to the next light post. A little farther than she’d planned, but if she didn’t push, she’d never reach the end of the boardwalk.
So she pushed.
Her legs shook, but instead of hugging the light post for support, she patted it with her fingers and sucked in deep breaths while she watched the lake grow brighter as the sun rose behind the town.
One of the advantages of not sleeping more than an hour or two at a time was seeing the sunrise. The sun itself might be hidden behind the buildings, but the effects on the lake and the hills beyond were spectacular.
A throat cleared behind her, and Kami braced herself for the interruption. She preferred to have her walking time alone, to have no one see her struggles. Or her weakness.
“Hello, Kami.”
Every muscle in her body tightened until she thought she would crack. It couldn’t be him. Her ears were tricking her. Exhaustion was making her senses wonky. She shouldn’t have pushed her body those extra steps, and she still had to walk the way back. Hallucinations shouldn’t shock her. Not with all the emotional nosedives she’d been taking lately.
Not him. Not anyone. She was losing. That’s all. Definitely not him.
After a steadying breath, Kami turned, and her legs nearly melted.
Not a hallucination, unless it was a visual one as well.
Peter Carson.
Her father.
Dressed in a navy blazer and beige pants with a white buttoned-down shirt, he stood with his hands in his pockets, rocking on his heels. Smiling. Hair too long, too combed over. So different from the man she remembered who wore work pants and shirts, whose face had been set to scowl.
“I was hoping we could talk.”
No. No talking. She didn’t want him here. Instead of answering, Kami gripped her cane and took a step along the railing, as far from him as she could step.
He leaned as if he was about to step toward her, and Kami flinched away. He immediately leaned back and held his hands up in a surrendering gesture. She took another step, then another.
“I was going to send an email, but I thought it would be better if I just showed up.”
“Better for whom?” Her voice betrayed her bitterness, and she didn’t try to hide it.
Another step.
He didn’t answer right away, but fell into step beside her. Guilt flamed to life in her gut, making her wonder if she should talk to him, give him a chance. Carolina had drilled manners into her. Second chances, too.
Of course, Carolina had probably been thinking of anyone except Peter Carson.
What would her mom do? What would she tell her?
“Just better.” It took several seconds for Kami to process his words and rewind her thoughts to what he’d been answering. Not worth responding.
Two more steps.
“Do you think we could grab a coffee? Catch up a bit?”
She wanted to walk away. Run away.
But a part of her—a teeny, tiny, traitorous part—wanted to run into his arms for a hug. What was wrong with her? Why would she want the affections of a man who’d thrown her and her mom away?
And was that why she wanted Rayce? There had to be a small, twisted part of her psyche that was damaged beyond repair. There was no other reason for her to want to talk with her dad.
Damaged.
Broken.
If she walked away from him now, she’d always wonder. Did he love her? Even a little? Was he sorry for what he’d done to her mother?
They were almost at The Lucky, so Kami gripped her cane and crossed the street. The warm, homey scents and atmosphere hurt and she was relieved to see a teen at the counter and not Jaz. Definitely not Megs. One look and the woman would know something was wrong. And she’d make connections Kami didn’t want anyone to make.
Kami ordered a peppermint tea—it was supposed to be soothing—and refused her father’s offer to pay. Once she had her order, she walked back out the door, crossed the street, and headed down the nearest pier. She’d pay for walking the extra distance later, but she didn’t want anyone near when they spoke.
She hesitated a moment before sitting on the bench. It would be harder to make an escape, but her leg wouldn’t hold out much longer and sitting was better than collapsing. She perched on the end of the bench and set her cane beside her, forcing him to sit a few feet away.
The scent of his hazelnut coffee drifted across the space, surprising her. She didn’t remember the scent of hazelnut in their apartment. Had he changed? Could he change?
“How are you, Kami? You look good.”
How was she? Sounded like a trick question. “I’m fine.”
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw him nod, sip his coffee, nod again. “Good. That’s good.” Another sip. “How’s the knee?”
She shrugged and took a sip of her own. “Fine.”
More silence. More sips.
“So. Why Bloo Moose? I was surprised to hear you’d moved here. You could be anywhere in the world.”
Good question and too complicated an answer to share. “Why not?”
A small fishing boat appeared on the far side of the lake and headed along the shore. Was it Gage out checking the area for the upcoming season? Had the fish come out of hibernation or whatever they did in the winter?
“I owe you an apology. A big one.”
Kami’s teeth clamped together, and her grip tightened on her mug. Memories swamped her. All the times she and Carolina had gone hungry. The devastation on her mom’s face when she hadn’t known Kami was watching.
“I’m sorry I left like that. It’s not an excuse, but I was young. Stupid. Scared.”
She didn’t respond. Didn’t so much as blink. There was nothing to say. She didn’t know about scared, but he’d been stupid. And cruel. Selfish.
“Your mother deserved better.”
“Don’t even think about trying to say you left for her sake.” Her brittle voice shook.
“No. No, of course not. I wouldn’t do that. It was me, all me. We were a mistake. We shouldn’t have got married, but she was pregnant. We weren’t good for each other and we’d made a stupid mistake.”
A stupid mistake. He thought Kami was a stupid mistake. Her heart bled and Kami gripped the cane and shoved to her feet, hot tea sloshing over her hand.
His hand reached for her, but she leaned away. “I need to go.”
He jumped to his feet, reached for her again, but she managed a step away.
“I was hoping we could talk.”
“We talked.” And you proved yourself an asshole. Another step.
He followed. Too close. She’d never drink hazelnut coffee after this. The scent of it on his breath churned her stomach.
“Really talk Kami. You owe me that.”
She stopped so abruptly; he stumbled into her. Grabbing the railing kept her upright. Barely. Pain gripped her knee, but it was as if someone else felt it. She couldn’t feel anything past the burning in her heart. “I owe you? In what universe is it even conceivable that I could owe you anything?”
Anger sizzled in his eyes before he blinked a few times and managed to bring them back to neutral. “I’m your father. You ought to at least hear me out.”
Money. He wanted money. Disgust shuddered through her and without a word, she shoved off the railing and concentrated on putting one foot ahead of the other.
“You owe me, Kami.”
Walk. Keep walking.
“I’m your father.” Desperation edged his words, and she kept moving. No hesitation.
He didn’t want her. He wanted her money.
Her only living relative and he only cared about her money.
Would she ever learn?
By noon, Rayce couldn’t suppress the worry any longer. Kami hadn’t shown at her usual time. Or an hour later or two hours later.
No answers to his texts or voice messages.
Instead of joining his crew for lunch, Rayce walked over to a quiet area and called the police station, asked for Dave. When his friend answered, Rayce didn’t waste time on pleasantries. “Kami’s not answering her phone.”
The silence stretched for over thirty seconds before Dave sighed across the phone line. “Maybe she doesn’t want to speak with you.”
Hell. “Or maybe that crazy man who’s been sending her emails is here.”
Another silence. “She’s safe, LaChance. No one’s after her.”
“You know where she is?”
The next silence lasted longer. “Talk to you later.” Then he hung up.
Damn.
Rayce paced the area and processed what Dave had said. And hadn’t said. If she’d been in any danger, the chief would have found a way to let him know. He hadn’t felt the need to drop any hints, which meant he knew Rayce would find her.
He was an dumbass. She was at the cabin.
As he turned to head for his truck, Claude strode up, frowning and checking out his phone. “What’s this about some guy bugging Kami on the boardwalk this morning?”
What? “What are you talking about?”
Claude’s frown deepened. “Don’t know much. Lisa said some guy was in The Lucky with her this morning, but Kami didn’t seem happy about it. He followed her out to the pier, and they talked for a bit. When Kami walked away, he looked pissed. Yelled a bit, too.”
Shit. It had to be the fan, the one Dave hadn’t seemed concerned about. “She okay?”
“That’s what I was hoping you could tell me.”
Heart racing, Rayce headed for his truck and turned toward the Lodge. Relief swept through him when he spotted Kami’s SUV in front of her cabin.
Safe.
And ignoring him. Not coming to the site and telling him about the jackass bugging her.
Why?
The last time he’d seen her, things had been good between them. The best they’d been since she’d shown up. Had she changed her mind?
Rayce thumped up to the deck and knocked on the door. “It’s me, Kami. Open up.”
No answer. After a few seconds, he pounded again. “Come on, Kami. I’m not leaving.”
Still no answer.
“Damn, Kami. Open the door.”
“Would you relax?”
More relief filled him up at the sound of her irritated voice. The thump of her cane was audible through the closed door. It shouldn’t have made him smile.
Instead of inviting him in, Kami shoved Rayce to the side and kept on walking. Across the deck, down the stairs and toward the lake. Okay. She obviously needed to let off some steam, so he followed at a safe distance.
When she reached the dock, she didn’t hesitate, just kept moving. He joined her, ready to follow her in if she decided to take a swim. At the end of the dock, Kami stopped and took in deep, visible breaths. Her hand gripped the cane—hard—then she smacked it down onto the dock. Five times.
Rayce moved right up behind her and rested his hands on her tight shoulders. She tensed even more, tried to shrug him off, but he ignored her efforts and started to move his hands. “Deep breaths, Kami. You’ve got softball-sized knots in here. Relax a minute.”
She started to snarl a protest, but he dug hard into one of the knots and the sound changed to a whimper. For long minutes, they stood that way, the only movement that of his hands and her shoulders slowly relaxing.
When Kami let out a soft moan, his fingers flexed, and he leaned her back toward him. She didn’t resist, and he kept tugging until she rested against his chest. Could she feel his heart pounding?
With a shift and a shuffle, Kami lined herself up with him. Planes and curves accommodated each other and brought them even closer together. His body reacted in an instant, something she couldn’t possibly miss with her ass pressed right against him. Instead of pulling away, Kami rested her head back on his shoulder and, when he wrapped his arms around her, she let out a soft sigh.
A good sigh.
One that sounded like comfort and ease. And home. That sounded bizarre, but he felt it deep down to his bones and knew they had a chance. He had another chance to not screw it up.
Unwilling to break whatever spell was working, Rayce stood and held Kami to him, letting the minutes tick by as they looked out on the lake. He realized his own body was relaxing, too.
Kami softened against him at the same instant her knee gave out. Rayce caught her before she fell and swept her up into his arms. Her gasp turned into a sardonic laugh. “You’re going to strain yourself if you keep picking me up.”
He squeezed her into his chest, then lowered himself to the dock and arranged her in front of him. His legs surrounded hers and their feet hung over the dock. They’d spent a lot of hours like this in high school, and it felt completely natural.
Once again, Rayce wrapped his arms around her and pulled her back against his chest. It took a few moments, but then Kami softened, letting him take her weight. Damn, it felt good.
As they watched, loons dove in and grabbed some lunch. An eagle screeched off to the north and a few turtles moved lazily in the shallows. The scent of spring ripening filled him. “With days like this, I can’t imagine anyone wanting to live anywhere else.”
Kami stiffened for a minute and he wanted to pull back his words. Not that he didn’t believe his words, but they’d been what had driven the wedge between them back then. He hadn’t wanted to leave. But he would have done it for her.
Hated every minute of it, though.
Kami had been meant for bigger things. She’d needed to leave, and he’d needed to let her.
Rayce shoved away the past. Time to focus on the now. And in the now, Kami needed to know she wasn’t alone. “Who was the man on the boardwalk this morning?”
Of course, her entire body stiffened, but Rayce didn’t back up. Instead, he kept his arms around her, tucking her in. When she squirmed, he tightened his thighs around her and he nearly lost his mind. Around her, his body was always primed and ready to spring to life. Didn’t matter what was going on, didn’t matter the topic of conversation. Nope. Only the fact that Kami was near—or on his mind—and, Bingo, instant arousal.
Forcing his thoughts away from her tight ass squeezed between his legs, he focused instead on what he wanted her to know.
What the hell was it?
The man. Right. The man who’d upset her.
“Claude’s wife texted him to ask if you were okay. You remember Lisa, right? She was checking on you and Claude asked me.”
Despite her tense body, Kami managed a half-laugh. “So Megs and Mario aren’t the only two gossips I have to contend with?”
“In Bloo Moose? Not hardly.”
Another half-laugh. Not a lot of humor in it. Instead of moving out of his arms, she sighed and leaned back again. Her hair was in its usual ponytail on the back of her head, so she angled her head, leaning it on his collarbone. Her shampoo smelled different than it had in high school. Probably not the cheapest bottle on the shelves any more. His lips brushed her hair and when that didn’t scare her away, he did it again.
Keeping his mind on the conversation was going to be tough when every part of him wanted to devour her. He was a grown man, closing in on thirty. He had to be able to control himself and focus on a conversation. It shouldn’t be this hard.
“It was my father.”
The whispered words barely reached his ear and chased away the arousal. Heartache poured from the whisper, and he tightened his hold on her. This time she reached up with her hands and placed them on his arms.
Her father had been a creep who’d taken all their money and left them after Carolina’s cancer had taken her leg and her confidence. “I hope you told him to go to hell.”
This time, her soft chuckle held a touch of humor. “More or less.”
“Good.” If the man hadn’t left town yet, Rayce was going to find him and kick his ass into the next century.
Kami twisted to level him with a glare. “No.”
“What?”
Her eyes narrowed. “You’re not going to hunt him down. Neither are your brothers or your friends. I handled it.”
Too bad. “I didn’t say anything.”
“You didn’t have to.”
“Tell me what happened.”
Kami rolled her eyes and turned back to face the lake, but she didn’t move away from him, so he tightened his arms again. Too many years without her in them and he wasn’t losing any opportunities.
“There’s a piece of punctuation you have to learn to use. It’s called a question mark.”
“Come on, Kami, tell me what happened.” She sighed, and he realized he’d demanded. “Fine. Would you please tell me what happened?”
Even though he couldn’t see her, he knew she was smiling. Probably briefly, but he knew.
“He came up to me on the boardwalk. Wearing a blazer. Looking old.” She paused and Rayce kept his mouth shut. Now that she’d started, she’d continue. “Told me he owed me an apology. As if that would make up for what he did to my mom.”
Not to her. Carolina had always come first. Rayce kissed her hair and rubbed her arms, trying to offer comfort.
“He kept saying he wanted to talk, but he really wanted money.”
Shit. “I’m sorry, Kami.” And he was. No one deserved a father who treated her like that.
“He said I owed him.”
“What? He must be batshit crazy. How could he possibly think you owed him anything? He already took enough.”
Kami’s hand squeezed his thigh and brought his words to an abrupt halt. As she patted him, he realized she was trying to comfort him. As if he’d been the one hurt.
He picked up her hand and brought it to his lips, kissed it softly, pleased when she didn’t pull away. “He doesn’t deserve a minute of your time, never mind anything else.”
No reaction. Which meant she was feeling guilty. “You know that, right? You owe him less than nothing.”
A soft nod. Not very convincing.
“You okay?”
Another of those humorless half laughs. And a nod.
Right.
A crazy fan threatening her in emails and her father showing up wanting money.
Rayce kissed her hair again and held her close, wishing he knew how to help.
Kami let Rayce’s arms soak up some of the doubt and worry. He’d always been so strong. Not only physically, but his character, too. Strong. Steady. Caring.
Except he’d dumped her.
A long time ago.
Time to get over it. Move on.
Except she was scared. Deep down, scared. Because if she moved forward with Rayce, she’d be risking it all. Her heart was already tipping toward him. Could it take another shattering?
If she knew going in, she could be strong enough. Protect herself. Keep herself safe. Have fun. Have sex. Mind-boggling, mind-blowing sex.
But she wouldn’t fall for him. Not all the way.
Instead, she’d enjoy him for the time they had.
If he even wanted that.
That made her smile. She’d have to be an idiot not to have felt the kisses in her hair, the caring in his hands. And his arousal.
He wanted.
Not the same way she wanted, but it would be enough. She’d make sure it was. Casual sex would be her new normal.
“You okay?”
His repeated question brought her attention back to the conversation. Was she? Apparently better than she had been if she was thinking about sex instead of agonizing over her father’s appearance. So she nodded, knowing with her head against his chest, he’d feel it.
His soft chuckle tickled her ear. “Of course you are.”
He could always make her smile. “Maybe I’m not fine yet but I will be.”
“I know.”
No hesitation. He believed her. Believed in her.
Time to take a risk.
Rayce hadn’t let go of her hand after kissing it so gently, so she tugged it to her lips to return the favor.
The soft sound dropping from his lips reinforced her confidence, and she trailed her tongue up each finger, kissed each pad before moving on to the next. Wherever their bodies touched, she felt Rayce tighten.
Power surged through her, and she turned his hand over to expose his palm. She trailed kisses over it, then down to his wrist, savoring the rough textures of the calluses he’d built over the years. A man who worked with his hands, who knew his body’s strengths and believed in using them for good.
A good man.
A low growl was her only warning before Rayce moved, lifting her and swinging her around so that she lay flat on her back on the dock, looking up into his face as his body covered hers.
His slow smile was predatory and sent tingles to all the good parts of her body until she felt like one giant erogenous zone.
She’d been with a few men over the years, but none of them, not a single one, had come close to causing a sensation even a tenth as enticing as the one she was experiencing now.
And the man hadn’t kissed anything other than her fingers and her hair.
His eyes trapped hers and made her imagine all kinds of erotic things.
Unable to keep still, she squirmed beneath him and watched his eyes darken. Then his gaze turned to her lips, her jawline, her cheekbones. Heat suffused her skin wherever his gaze landed.
Rayce leaned closer until their breaths mingled and Kami thought her skin might float right off her flesh in an effort to close the distance.
Then his mouth covered hers, strong, demanding. Wonderful.
The kiss reached deep inside her, demanding things she wasn’t sure she was able to give, but she couldn’t stand against it. Instead, her barriers melted with every stroke of his tongue and she found herself pouring everything she had into the touch.
Kami melted and heated and spiraled as the kiss went on and on. Minutes, hours, days.
She didn’t have a clue how much time passed as his lips took and gave, and she didn’t care. Nothing mattered but the kiss.
With a curse, Rayce pulled back and sat up, leaving her bereft. And confused. He muttered something about timing, then stood and lifted her to her feet, passed her the cane.
“Come on.”
Still reeling from the overwhelming kiss and its abrupt end, Kami couldn’t coordinate her legs fast enough. Rayce swung her up into his arms.
Talk about mixed messages. Kissing her beyond senseless, breaking it off, now cradling her like she was precious.
Rayce hurried up the dock and over the grass, heading toward the cabin, and Kami realized his destination. Good plan.
They were halfway there when he stopped, sighed, and put her down on her feet, keeping his arm around her waist.
“What are you doing now?” She wanted to get in the cabin, into the bedroom. Although anywhere would do.
Rayce tilted her chin up with his hand and kissed her hard again, but broke it off before she had a chance to sink into it. “Follow my lead.”
He nodded, then walked off toward the cabin, motioning her to follow.
“You’re making my head spin.”
Off to the right, a motorcycle broke through the trees and headed toward her cabin.
As she watched, Max Fortini pulled up alongside Rayce’s truck and yanked off his helmet. She’d run into Max briefly on the boardwalk the other morning.
The writer scowled as he looked from her to Rayce, making her want to look down to see if her clothes were as mussed as her brain. Knowing Max missed absolutely nothing when it came to body language, she resisted.
“What’s going on?” Max’s voice was hard.
She started to answer, but Max was talking to Rayce, not her. Something she didn’t understand was passing between them.
“Nothing. What are you doing here?”
“Checking on Kami.”
Except no one was looking at her.
“She’s fine.”
Max’s eyes finally cut to her and swept over her from head to toe. “So you say.” Again, she wondered if she looked as thoroughly kissed as she felt. Maybe those little cartoon hearts were circling her head. Unfortunately, the mood hadn’t just been broken, it had been demolished.
The two friends might as well have been throwing testosterone spears at each other. Kami moved between them and Rayce slung an arm over her shoulder at the same time that Max reached out to touch her. “You okay, Kami?”
She nodded as Rayce repeated that she was fine. “What is going on with you two?”
Neither answered her, and she felt more like property than a person. A thing to be fought over. It was ridiculous. She and Max had never been anything other than friends. It wasn’t as if they were in high school and the two were vying for her attention.
More glaring between the men.
Giving up, Kami walked past them both and toward the cabin. Let them figure out what the heck they were doing. Whatever it was appeared more interesting to Rayce than kissing her, so she left him to it.
Behind her, their voices flew back and forth, but not loudly enough for her to hear. Not that she was listening. Okay, she was totally listening.
“Kami, wait up.” Rayce.
She turned to find him striding toward her while Max watched, looking far more relaxed. He was even smiling. At least they’d figured whatever it was out.
When Rayce climbed the deck, Max called out to her. “If you want to get a coffee one day, give me a call. Even better, we’ll head to the restaurant. The folks are dying to have you in.”
Max’s parents, like the LaChances, had been amazing to her both back in high school and since she’d been back. “Sounds good.”
Max grinned, then picked up his helmet and started the bike. With a wave, he headed out of the clearing.
Rayce stood stiffly beside her. Gone was the man trying to gobble her up like she was his favorite treat.
“What was all that about?”
“What?”
Kami rolled her eyes. “All the chest-beating and caveman grunting.”
The ice in Rayce’s eyes shattered, and he laughed. “I don’t think it was that bad. Max was looking out for you, making sure you’re safe.”
“From you?”
Rayce sighed and leaned back to run his hands through his hair. “Yeah. From me.”
“Why?”
Instead of answering, Rayce paced the deck several times, tension radiating from him. Gone was the hunger and desire.
It shouldn’t hurt this much. She’d expected it. She’d planned to protect herself. Well, she’d done a terrible job of that. She should be used to rejection by now. Especially from Rayce.
“What are you doing Friday night?”
“What?”
“Friday night. What are you doing?”
Kami shook her head. Another turning point in the match. Unfortunately, she didn’t have a clue what game they were playing or what strategy she needed to use in order to win. The entire afternoon, with its roller coaster of emotions, had drained her, and she wanted nothing more than to go inside and collapse on the bed with her ice packs.
“Let’s go out.”
Out?
“On a date. Friday night.”
“Why?”
His smile made her want to melt back into his arms and forget all the confusion, but she wasn’t going to dissolve like sugar this time. “The usual reasons, Kami. Boy likes girl. Girl likes boy. Dinner. Movie. Kissing.”
He could always make her smile. “We were doing some of that earlier.”
Heat flared in his eyes, and he lifted his hand to cup the back of her neck. “We definitely were. And we will be again.”
She could hear the But coming, so she waited.
“But I want to do it right, Kami.” He stepped in so their bodies were on the edge of touching. “I screwed up before.”
When? Years back or only minutes before? Was he regretting their time together, their breakup, or the kiss?
“Go out with me, Kami. On a date. On Friday.”
Spontaneous sex was one thing. Something she could enjoy, then move on. But a date? That implied a relationship. Her heart could maybe handle it if they had sex and then Rayce moved on, but could she handle it if she let him in, got close, and then he left her again?
No. She couldn’t handle it. Not again.
“Please, Kami. Say yes.”
No. Too risky. Too scary. Too much. Not a chance. No way should she agree.
“Yes.”