A few letters and experiences between Simon and Tabitha between ages ten and sixteen.
Dear Tabby,
How are you? It has been a long time and I miss you. School is boring. There was a kid who tried to bully me. He was some big-ass jock. Wanted to take out an MC kid. That so didn’t happen. I’m ten but I’m not stupid. I kicked his ass … kind of. The principal pulled us apart and called our parents. Mom turned up and she went mental. I got grounded and was forced to copy out the dictionary. What do you think of my spelling? Dad’s decided lines and dictionary work will help me. I don’t know. It’s boring but it means I get to think about you. How are you? How is everything at Fort Wills? Is Anthony still being an ass? Tell him I’ll kick it for him.
What are you doing right this second?
This isn’t going to be a long letter. Mom’s busy, and I’ve got to help.
Take care, Tabby.
Love you lots,
Simon
****
Dear Simon,
Hey stranger. What am I doing right this second is writing a letter to you, silly. Not a lot is happening here, to be honest. Everything has been quiet. Babies are always being born, and there’s always a lot of parties. Daddy says I’ll not be going to a party like ever, which sucks.
Anthony is being an ass but I think that is because he loves Daisy. He doesn’t just love her as a friend; nope, it’s big, kind of scary. Daisy doesn’t have a clue and I’m not about to spell it out for her. Good for you on whipping his ass. You did, didn’t you? I hate that everyone gangs up on us. We’re not an easy target, you know? Mom says not to listen to any of them. Some of the kids call us trash. I know we’re not. It does upset me though. I don’t show anyone because I know it will worry them.
Your spelling is much improved. I moved up a grade as well. So cool. I don’t know what I want to be when I grow up. I’d love to sing, or maybe write, or maybe I could be a doctor like Sandy. I love going to work with her. She’s so much fun.
I miss you. When are you coming back? Daddy says that it’s going to be awhile ’cause you’re all busy.
What do you want to be when you grow up?
I’ve got to go as well.
Bye.
****
Tabby,
When I’m there, I will kick anyone’s ass that said you were trash. You’re beautiful, Tabby. Don’t listen to them, and don’t give them that kind of power. You’re too good for them.
Yeah. Dad was saying that money is tight at the moment. Something about a bad turn on the markets, and so we’re recouping. They don’t do the bad stuff, you know. We both know that some stuff cannot be talked about. I hate that I’m not seeing you as much. I’m hoping to get a laptop soon, and then we can stop sending letters and we can chat online. Would you like that?
I want to be prez when I grow up. I’ve always wanted to be part of the club, and I know I can handle it. I’m not being young and stupid either. You can be anything you want to be. Can you sing? I don’t know if I’ve heard you sing before. I would totally love you to sing for me.
Would you be my old lady? I know you don’t want to be part of the club, but I would totally support you, and there’s no one else for me. You know that.
Now I feel stupid because I’m going to have to wait for your answer.
Yeah, still stupid, and I waited a couple of days but I’m not going to cross anything out.
Love,
Simon.
****
Text messages
Tabitha: Mom says I can’t be on here long.
Simon: Mine either. It’s so annoying. Mom’s looking all happy as she watches me.
Tabitha: It’s because we’re cute. It’s what I hear Whizz or Lacey say. I like Daisy’s parents. You know what I mean.
Simon: I do. I’ve got a question for you.
Tabitha: I’m waiting. I can’t answer it if you don’t ask me.
Simon: It’s stupid and you’re going to laugh.
Tabitha: So, it’s never bothered you before.
Simon: Have you ever been kissed?
Tabitha: Yeah. Mom and Dad kiss me all the time. That wasn’t a hard question, silly.
Simon: Not by our parents. By a boy!
Tabitha: Anthony kissed me once for a dare. It was so gross. He was eating tuna and he tasted really fishy. This was ages ago though.
Simon: I’m going to beat the shit out of him.
Tabitha: No, you won’t. We were kids and young. Don’t be a dick.
Simon: Do you want to be kissed?
Tabitha: Do you want to kiss me, Simon?
Simon: Yes, I’d really like that.
****
Dear Simon,
Happy birthday. I’m so sorry I missed your birthday. What are you? Old now lol. You’re thirteen, right? That must be totally awesome. You’re a teenager. How is everything with you? Did you have a good birthday? I’m sorry we couldn’t make it. I wanted to. Mom said we couldn’t as we didn’t have time to go. There’s always Thanksgiving. I know Angel is inviting you guys home. Are you looking forward to coming to Fort Wills?
Sorry about all the questions. I’m just so curious and you know Dad always watches me when we talk. I don’t know what his problem is. I’m your old lady, you would think he would be awesome about that. He never complains about anyone else. I don’t know. He keeps saying you’ll be with him over my dead body. He’s old, doesn’t he realize that you know, I’m younger? Lol.
Anthony has got it bad for Daisy. I heard Lash and Angel talking about him in the kitchen. When we were younger, like middle school, he would sit and listen to Daisy read to him. Whenever I’m at the clubhouse, I’ve seen him, Simon. He sits on a wall, and if Daisy’s near reading a book, which she always is, he will get her to read to him. Honestly, it’s crazy, and kind of weird, but I guess that is exactly what our families are like, weird. I think he’s totally going to ask her out. I’m rooting for them.
When I talk to Daisy about Anthony, she just shakes her head as if I’m the crazy one. I’m not. I still haven’t told her that Anthony is in love with her. I think a lot of people find Anthony weird because he doesn’t talk all that much. He stares. They don’t know him like I do. I see everything. Anything interesting happening on your end?
Take care, Simon.
Love you.
All yours,
Tabby.
****
Sweetest Tabby,
I had a great birthday. My dad’s teaching me how to fight. He says every man should know how to handle himself. I’ve told him what I want to be when I grow up, and he’s really happy about that. I told him you were my old lady, and he laughed. Said I’d understand what a lady is soon enough.
I heard one of the guys at school talking about a blowjob. Have you ever heard what one of those are? I’m scared to ask my dad. What if it’s one of those joke things that causes problems? I don’t want to be seen as not knowing. Do you know what it is? I don’t, and I can’t check it out online. Ever since I stumbled onto two girls kissing, Mom put some parental things on the computer. I can’t get on anything. Was Daisy able to get you a computer? I’m waiting for the text to let me know you’re online.
I’ve got to go. This is so short but I’m hoping to see you soon.
Love you,
Simon.
****
Dear Simon,
I don’t know if I want to use the internet to talk. I think I like us writing letters. Daisy said she can set it up for us though if I want to. This seems kind of romantic to me, doesn’t it for you? You’re the only person I write to and I look forward to your letter every single day. I know it’s going to arrive and each time the mailman comes, I’m so happy. I kind of attack him. Of course it means there’s time between. I heard Angel the other day telling someone that distance can make the heart go stronger. My sister Tate says it doesn’t work. I don’t know. She got it to work with Murphy but there’s a lot of stuff between them. There’s so much about the past I don’t know.
How is school? Are you still hanging out with the bully? You told me he was hanging around with you, right? You and him kind of got it tight? I don’t know how you can do it. Be friends with an asshole. Oh, well. Not much is going on here right now. Grandpa Ned is coming to town again. It always makes everyone tense. I like him, but then he always feels guilty as I had that tiny almost-died thing going on. If you could see me, you would see me shrugging. It’s all a little confusing right now, to be honest.
I don’t give a fuck what my parents or the club are doing. It’s their business. Daisy said it is my business but I’m thinking of getting out, you know? Being my own self. I talked to Mom about it, and she said it could be possible. I have dreams, you know, of being away from Fort Wills. Of course I’d want Daisy to come with me, but she seems content with the club life. I don’t know.
I’m starting to feel sad as I write this. Got to go.
Love ya.
****
Simon age thirteen, Tabitha age twelve
Simon looked out across the lake, feeling a deep sense of calm wash over him. Tabitha was on the blanket, her head resting on his leg as she read one of the books Daisy had given her. The breeze was warm, giving them some reprieve from the sun. It had been a hot summer in Piston County, too hot to enjoy. Simon stroked her hair, pushing it out of her face. Tabitha looked up. “Why are you smiling?”
“No reason. I’m with you, and that makes me happy.”
She put the book down, taking hold of his hand and locking their fingers together. “I love being here with you too.”
“One day soon, I’ll always be here. We’ll always be together.”
She sighed. “I hate seeing you go and I don’t want to leave you. It’s the worst part of our time together.”
With his free hand, he stroked her cheek. “I’m yours, Tabby. I told you that.”
“And I’m yours, Simon. There’s no one else but you. It will always be you.”
“What about when you want to leave?”
She didn’t speak and he looked down at her.
“I don’t think I’ll ever go.”
“You wanted out of the club. To sing?” She had a beautiful singing voice.
“I know it’s what I wanted, but everything changes. I’ve changed. I don’t know what I want anymore. Everything has changed. Let’s not talk about it.”
****
Dear Simon,
Did you hear? We’ve had to join schools. Yeah, it’s fucking horseshit is what it is. The high school closed and changed location to a larger building and now we’re there with the fucking Monster Dogs MC. They’re a pansy-ass club, and we now have to share it. What kind of shit is that?
Our school is now known as Peacebrook High! Piece of shit. I was supposed to go to Fort Wills High. But not now. Nope. It’s all changed. Sorry, everything is changing. The club, the school, even Daisy. She’s different but I kind of understand the shit she’s going through. Sorry, I’m angry. Really angry.
I miss you.
Also, I’m learning how to fight. Miles is shit and won’t give me lessons. I’m sick of it, and now I’m taking lessons from Anthony. I told him not to treat me like a girl, and guess what, he doesn’t. I mean, he doesn’t hit me hard, and I try to dodge that stuff when I can. He’s tough. I like it. The only way I’m going to survive is if I fight and if I’m better. Their club has girls as well, and let’s just say lines have been drawn. I’ve got no choice. It’s fight or die.
Daisy and I talked about changing schools. Our dads said an all-girls school would be our next option. Yeah, right. Not happening.
Besides, I’m there with the guys and if we make our mark, then it means the others don’t have to. The Skulls always have each other’s back, and I’ve come to realize that what I’ve been missing all of these years is that is exactly who I am. I’m a Skull. The club runs in my blood. Rather than hating it, I should be embracing it and that’s what I’m going to do. Every single step of the way. My guys and my girls. I will have their backs, always.
I’ve got to go. I might not get a chance to write for a while but we can talk. You know I’m always here.
Love you,
Tabby