“It’s only been three days and she’s driving me bonkers.” Kelsey was whispering into her new cell phone, as if she were worried about her temporary roommate overhearing. In truth, Lauren and May were on either side of her as she called Nate on speaker from May’s living room sofa.
“You guys were bunkmates for weeks on end back in the day,” Nate said. “You’ll manage.”
“I was eating my toast this morning at the kitchen counter and dropped maybe three crumbs. She appeared out of nowhere like a tiny little ninja to hand me a plate and a napkin.” May silently objected beside her. That did actually happen. “It might be easier to live in jail.”
“I still don’t really understand what happened in that courtroom. Seemed like overkill.”
“I think when Dad jumped up and offered to buy my way out of trouble, May was scared it was all going south and thought we needed to go big to make sure the judge let me walk out of court a free woman.” No objection from May this time, since that was the precise explanation she had given Kelsey. “She contacted the court yesterday about modifying the order, but the judge said something like I should appreciate being here while it lasted.”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
“It sounds like the guy’s a little shoot-from-the-hip. He let it slip that he overheard some cops talking at a local bar about connecting a bunch of dots with the Boston police. Honestly, Nate, I’m really scared. If Dad did this, he only did it for me, but how does any of this help me? It’s ruined my life, so I keep thinking that’s impossible, right?”
If Dad did this…It was almost as if she were talking out loud to herself about Nate, she thought. If Nate really did all this, then it had been all for her—or maybe in his mind for both of them. He knew that Luke would never agree to let her use those embryos once the divorce was final. Luke’s entire reason for ending the marriage was to get a clean break from her and her family. He wasn’t about to father the next generation of Ellis children.
At the time, Kelsey was still trying to convince Luke to salvage their relationship. How many times had she cried it out with Nate, confiding that she was not only losing her husband but also her chance to be a mother. It never occurred to her to research what would happen to the embryos if her soon-to-be ex-husband died. It turned out the answer was readily available on Google, if someone had a reason to look. Someone like Nate.
And that Friday night in East Hampton, she had turned to Nate again, this time about the possibility of making a life with Dave, a life that would mean having a husband and having children, but not ones with her genetic material. If Nate really was the one who killed Dave, had that actually been for her? Or was it for himself, because he needed her to be alone, depending on him to be her family?
She’d made it clear when their parents first started talking about getting divorced that nothing physical could ever happen again between them, but in every other way, hadn’t they become almost a couple by now? No one wanted to date her, so she leaned on Nate for companionship. And Nate was alone by choice. The only woman he had ever tried to be serious with was May, and Kelsey wondered now if maybe the plan had been to marry her best friend so he’d always be close to Kelsey, too.
That Off-Campus Night, he had been so wrecked. She and Nate had gone almost four years without even speaking about the way they used to be. She had been the one to justify the little experiments initially. They were young. It was natural. They weren’t biologically related. It was fun, comparing notes about what made a good kiss, what certain things felt like, the weird thrill she got just from a little tickle against her rib cage. It wasn’t until their parents walked in on them and she saw what they were doing through their eyes that she realized how sick it was. It literally broke their family in two, and so they swore that would be the end of it.
But then that night, so much vodka, and then the Ecstasy that he and May had taken. He said he needed to talk to her and led the way into the woods. He said he saw it all so clearly. She told him he was high as fuck. He loved her, he said. He knew they could never be a normal couple, yet he would never be able to love anyone else. Couldn’t they find a way to be together forever?
And then they heard a branch cracking behind the wood line and there was Marnie, collecting a new secret. And then there was Marnie again, huddled next to her new friend May at the lake. Kelsey felt guilty for the sense of relief that washed over her when no one could find Marnie in the morning and May was so blotto she couldn’t even remember the previous night. But never once did she question the fact that Marnie died of an accidental drowning. Now? Lauren and May were convinced Nate had tracked her down, hit her on the head, and thrown her into the water.
Plus there was all the other evidence May and the police had found since May first began zeroing in on Nate. Kelsey understood how the pieces fit together on paper, but she refused to let herself believe it. There had to be an explanation for all of this, because Nate? It couldn’t be him. It just couldn’t.
Her brother had been quiet for so long, she wondered if she’d lost the connection. “Your life’s not ruined,” he finally said.
“Did I tell you May’s dog has some serious GI issues and lets it fly whenever he sits next to me? My life is literally busted.” She could have sworn Gomez flashed her a side-eyed glare. “Anyway, want to come by for drinks? I could use some other company for a while.”
“Is that cool with Josh or whatever his name is? I got the impression from May he was sort of weird with the fact I’d been at the house.”
“He’s actually out of town on business.” She noticed May’s face fall. May had tried to give Kelsey the same explanation yesterday for his ongoing absence, but then finally conceded that Josh was staying with his brother, no end date specified. “Does five-thirty work?”
“Sounds good. Text me the address?”
“Will do.” That was in four hours. In four hours, she’d prove to them that they were wrong about everything. First they thought it was her father. Now it was Nate. Tomorrow it would be her hairdresser. After the past five years, she was almost numbed to the false accusations. She’d survive the latest round. “He’ll be here,” she said, resting her phone on the coffee table.
May was more eager than she was for the next steps. “Great,” she said. “I’ll tell Carter. You going to be okay?”
She nodded, even though she was certain that nothing would ever be okay again if her friends were right about this.