She was back in the tunnel in front of the iron door, watching as it was smashed apart. This time, she didn’t even have the chance to try and stop it. The fury of the creatures sent the iron door flying open as dark things poured screaming out. Black, furry creatures with yellow fangs and red eyes engulfed her, shrieking and moaning, desperate for a taste of her. They covered every inch of her skin, biting her, ripping off chunks of her flesh. There was no time to scream. She was being eaten alive.
She woke in a feverish state. Her body was burning. She tore at her clothes, desperate to escape the heat. Hands held her firmly, giving her water to drink. She was in a moving cart, and the swaying motion made her sleepy. Closing her eyes, she slipped away again.
The monstrous form was smothering her, sucking the air out of her lungs. She couldn’t see it but it surrounded her. It felt like a hundred bodies pressed upon her. Kira’s rib cage fractured and her lungs were collapsing. Despair such as she’d never known crushed her soul. And as she was dying, she saw the land all around her was a barren—a wasteland of death and destruction.
She dreamed all the time. Nightmares and visions. Unlike the last time she had encountered the cursed blades with her uncle Eojin, Kira didn’t hear the voice of the Demon Lord. But her nightmares were far worse. She would wake up screaming every hour. At one point, she imagined her wound turning black again, spiders crawling out of her skin and into her mouth.
Cold sweat covered her as she tried desperately to rip off the dressing on her arm. Gentle hands stopped her. She saw Seung’s round face looking down at her with concern and Jaewon holding her firmly in his arms. She collapsed against him, weeping until she passed out again.
The nightmares were horrendous, spiraling out of control and sending Kira into madness. In between her nightmares, she recalled seeing and hearing people by her side.
She was in a bright room that she didn’t recognize. The thick papered walls and sliding door indicated that she was in a house of a well-to-do family. She felt the warmth emanating from the heated floor. And yet she still shivered uncontrollably.
Kwan and Taejo were there, Gom sniffling at his side.
“Why isn’t he staying with her? I thought he was supposed to stay by her side.”
“She told him that he had to stay with me until she ordered him otherwise. You can see how badly he wants to stay with her,” Taejo said. “But don’t worry, I spend most of my time here.”
“You need sleep too, and no one can get any rest around her,” Kwan said grimly.
“Sunim and I can hear her even from the other wing of the house,” Taejo said. “She screams all day and night.”
“Her dreams must be terrifying,” Kwan said. “I’ve never seen her so badly affected.”
“I don’t understand, why isn’t she healing already?”
“It was a cursed arrow.”
Kira suddenly knew why her tiger spirit wasn’t visiting her. If they were constantly with her, then the spirit would not come. But she couldn’t speak, she couldn’t tell them. All she could do was sleep.
The next time she opened her eyes, she was gasping for breath. Something heavy was on her chest. There was an intense aroma of ginger and mint. She tried to push it off, but it wouldn’t budge. Panicking, she forced herself up.
Seung’s face swam into view.
“You must lie down, young mistress. We have to keep the hot compress on you. It will help you.”
She shook her head, trying to tell Seung that she couldn’t breathe. Jaewon was there, gently forcing her down.
“It’s OK, we’re right here,” Jaewon said. “You have to get some rest.”
He held her hand as Seung reapplied the heavy heated compress to her upper chest. Kira gripped Jaewon tightly and closed her eyes.
She woke up screaming. Faceless monsters covered her flesh and feasted on her eyes. They crawled into her ears, nose, and mouth. Kira clawed at her face, trying to free herself of them. They wriggled their way into her cavities and down her throat.
This time a woman servant she’d never seen before tried to hold her hands down, making soothing noises at her. Another servant held a bowl of cold water, trying to wipe Kira’s face. It smelled of ginger and ginseng.
Kira knocked over the bowl, shrieking that the monsters had consumed her. She shoved the woman off her and continued to claw at her face. Blood began to ooze down her neck. One of the women hurried out the door and returned with her brother. He held her down as she raged at him, pleading for him to kill the monsters. There were tears in his eyes and she wondered why he was crying.
Finally, she returned to sleep.
She’d lost all concept of time. When she next woke, she saw her brother Kwan sitting by her side.
“Water,” she whispered.
Kwan scooped out some water from a nearby bucket and held the ladle up to Kira’s lips.
“How are you feeling?” he asked.
“Terrible,” she croaked. “Where are we?”
“We are in Muju. We beat our brother here. I was grateful to find this estate. The family had left, but the servants were still here.”
“How long have I been sick?”
“For nearly three days,” Kwan said. “I don’t understand—why aren’t you healing as usual?”
“You have to leave me alone for an entire night,” she said. “My tiger spirit won’t come unless I’m alone.”
“I didn’t realize,” he said. “You’ve been having such horrible nightmares, so I thought it was important to have someone with you.”
Kira shook her head. “Please, leave me for a while.”
He leaned over to check her wound first. Pulling open the dressing, he exposed angry red lines that shot out from the puncture wound, a clear sign of poison. But there were no signs of black. He then looked her face over carefully.
“You scratched your face up real good,” he said. Caressing her hair, he rose to his feet. “I was so frightened.” He stopped and cleared his throat. “Get better soon.”
Kira stopped him. “Wait. Where’s Nara? Is she OK?”
“I don’t know. When we went back to find her body, it was gone. I’m sure she’s all right.”
Kira was troubled, hoping the kumiho had made it to safety.
After he had left, Kira closed her eyes and begged her tiger spirit to come. It was not long afterward that she felt its soothing presence. Opening her eyes, she was relieved to see the golden halo of light that surrounded her now. Already, the pain was starting to slip away.
Someone was shaking her awake.
“Wake up! Hurry! You must wake up!”
Kira opened her eyes to see Chansu’s nervous face.
“What are you doing here?” she asked, still groggy from sleep.
“You must come quickly!” He yanked urgently at Kira’s arm. “The prince has wandered into the forest and is in terrible danger.”
Kira got up, still shaky and not completely healed. It was dark outside and she had been with her tiger spirit for only a few hours. But she still felt better than before.
“What happened? Where’s my brother?” she asked.
“He and his men are in the forest,” Chansu replied. “He sent me to get you immediately. You must come now!”
Without waiting for her response, Chansu ran out her door and down the hallway.
“Chansu, wait!”
Kira stumbled from the house, strapping her sword and bow and arrows onto her back. Chansu was at the courtyard gate, waving at her to hurry.
“Young mistress, you mustn’t leave,” an older servant woman said in alarm. “You are still very sick.”
Kira recognized the woman who had been taking care of her. “I must go. The prince is in trouble,” she said.
The cold night air helped to wake her as she raced after Chansu, following the light of his lantern. They were now deep in the forests of Muju.
“Chansu, what happened? How is the prince in danger?” Kira asked.
“You’ll see soon enough!” he yelled over his shoulder.
The terrible feeling of danger was churning in her stomach as Kira tried not to panic. She desperately wanted to know what had happened, but Chansu would not answer her questions. Fear gripped her as she wondered if something truly horrible had happened. Something the soldier was unable to even speak of.
When she thought she could no longer take not knowing, Chansu entered a clearing and came to an abrupt stop. The acrid stench of demon magic filled her nose. She seized her sword and circled the empty clearing.
“Chansu, be careful,” she said. “There’s a demon nearby.”
She saw him take an unsteady step and glance around, a look of apprehension on his face.
Suddenly the air in the middle of the clearing began to shimmer. Kira’s gut wrenched violently at the immediacy of the danger. A dark robed figure began to materialize.
“Chansu, come here now!” Kira shouted. “Dokkae—”
Kira was gripped in a magical paralysis. She tried to scream, but even her voice was frozen and her breath came in harsh rasps. Her sword fell from nerveless fingers and she fought desperately for control that was no longer hers.
She looked to Chansu for help, but was aghast to find the young soldier smiling.
“Well done, my son,” the figure said as he raised his head to reveal the face of the daimyo. “You’ve brought me the Demon Slayer.”
“And you promise to keep my master safe?” Chansu asked. “Lord Shin Bo Hyun won’t be hurt?”
“Of course,” the daimyo said. “Your master will become a great and powerful king. And you will be his first in command.”
Kira stood in shock, staring at the gleeful face of the young man who now circled her.
“You think I’m a traitor, don’t you? But I’m not. I’m protecting my lord from you!” Chansu spat, his face twisting with hatred. “You left him to die twice now, but never again. I would betray you a thousand times so that you would die and leave my lord alone!”
“And very wise of you, my young man,” the daimyo said. “You have made the right decision.” A look of pure evil crossed the daimyo’s scarred face. “Come here, my dear.”
The daimyo gave a careless flick of his finger and Kira found her body flying toward him through the air, unable to stop.
“Finally, the Demon Slayer, or should I say Dragon Musado?” He chuckled. “But what does it matter what I call you? You are mine now.”
The daimyo was now solidified and he reached for her. The little bag containing the tidal stone and her haetae figurine were ripped off her neck and went flying into his hand. In the next moment, the jeweled dagger flew out of its scabbard and rested in the daimyo’s grasp.
“Where is the dragon belt? Why is it not on you?”
Kira couldn’t respond.
“No matter, we will find it. Now you will come to us and control the Dragon King’s treasures for my lord and master,” he said.
The loss of the treasures was crushing. She tried desperately to fight, but just like in her dreams, she was completely paralyzed.
Inside, she screamed for her tiger spirit.
The air about her shimmered and from above her head, her tiger spirit leaped out to attack the daimyo. It was the second time she’d seen her tiger spirit manifest into a physical form. It was larger than any real tiger and stood between Kira and the daimyo. Even as she watched the tiger and the shaman battle, Kira was frozen in place, her paralysis absolute. The daimyo was too powerful. She’d been so foolish to think she had a chance against him.
With a tremendous roar, the tiger clawed at the daimyo’s chest, ripping away an amulet and smashing it under its paw. The daimyo’s form immediately began to shimmer away. But before he disappeared completely, he formed a lightning ball between his hands and directed it at the tiger.
The air smelled of burning as Kira was released from the daimyo’s control. She fell down next to the tiger’s electrocuted body. At first, all she could do was stare in disbelief. This was her tiger spirit. How could it be dead? It felt as if a piece of her soul had been ripped out of her body. Her sobs were too painful to hold in. Steam rose from the body as Kira cradled the great cat’s head. Only then did she begin to scream in rage and agony.
Her dokkaebi army appeared first, milling around in confusion, no enemy to be found. Moments later the clearing filled with soldiers as her brother, Jaewon, and Shin Bo Hyun came to her aid. Gom was leading the way.
Kwan and Jaewon knelt by her side. “What is it, what happened?” Kwan asked.
She raised her head, still heaving from her sobs. “This is my tiger spirit.” She spoke brokenly.
There was a gasp of shock from all who saw her. They were staring at her eyes.
“Your eyes! What happened to them?” Jaewon gasped. “They’re brown!”
Her heart seemed to freeze at his words. Her yellow eyes, her cursed yellow eyes were always her connection to her tiger spirit. If they were gone, then this truly meant her tiger spirit was dead.
Suddenly, the tiger’s body began to shimmer, a golden light surrounding it. Ever so slowly, the tiger began to fade until there was nothing left. Kira’s body began to shake. Something within her snapped. The grief was too painful and it overcame her—swiftly changing to rage and hate.
Kira turned wildly until she saw Chansu cringing against the base of a towering tree. Racing over to him, she punched him in the face, and began to beat him furiously into the ground.
“What are you doing?” Shin Bo Hyun shouted. He pulled Kira off the young soldier, who had not tried to defend himself.
“He did this to me! He betrayed me! He led me into a trap with the daimyo, who stole the treasures and tried to control me! He would have had me too but for my tiger spirit.”
Kira began to weep uncontrollably. “My tiger spirit is dead because of him! He might as well have killed me!”
Shin Bo Hyun pushed Chansu away in shock.
“Why?” he asked. “Why would you betray us like this?”
“I would never betray you!” Chansu cried. “Only her! She is evil and must be destroyed!”
Shin stepped away, shaking his head. “You’re not in your right mind. You don’t know what you are saying,” he said. “Tell me you were possessed when you did this! Tell me!”
“I did it for you!” he cried. “Everything I did was for you! She nearly killed you twice, and she’ll do it again. She doesn’t care about you. She only cares about the prince! I had to protect my lord. And you’ll see! The daimyo will protect you! He’ll make you king. You deserve to be king! More so than that pathetic little boy.”
“You speak treason,” Shin whispered.
“No, I speak the truth!”
“How could you do this?” Shin spoke in a daze. “You were like a brother to me!”
“I did it all for you, my lord!”
Kira saw the agony and rage on Shin Bo Hyun’s face as he drew his sword.
“No!” Kira shouted. Launching to her feet, she placed herself between them, stopping Shin from striking the killing blow.
“He deserves to die! He is a traitor!”
“Then it should be at my hand,” she said fiercely.
Shin’s eyes refocused on hers, remorseful and guilty. He pressed a hand to her cheek and nodded.
Kira faced the traitor who knelt on the ground, his head hanging low. She grabbed hold of her sword and held it to his neck. Chansu raised his face and glared at her from eyes filled with both fear and hate.
“I’m not sorry for what I did,” he spat at her. “My only regret is that you aren’t dead!”
Kira had to fight back tears; she would not let him see her cry anymore. The urge to kill him was powerful and overwhelming, and she fought it internally. Fighting against her anger and the dark place from where it came. His death would not bring back her tiger spirit. It would be murder for revenge. That was not her way. It was not how her father had trained her. There was already so much death. Kira was tired of killing.
She put down her sword and took a step away.
“Go now, and never return.” She spoke in a dull voice, all emotion and energy stripped of her.
Chansu’s expression was one of utter disbelief.
“You’re not going to kill me?”
“If I ever see you again, I will not hesitate to kill you. But right now, all I want is for you to be gone.”
He rose to his feet hesitantly. Backing away, he threw a pleading look at Shin.
“My lord . . .”
“Didn’t you hear what she said?” Shin roared. “Get out of here and never show your face again. Go before I kill you myself!”
Chansu fled.
In the quiet that ensued, no one moved. They were all waiting for Kira to react. All she could do was stare down at the spot where her tiger spirit had been.
Her brother tried to comfort her. “Kira, let’s leave this place. Come, let’s go back to the house,” he said.
Without a word, she left the clearing, returning to her room.
It was Kwan who sat with her as she slept, while Gom stayed curled up at her feet. When she woke, they were still there. Unwilling to talk to them, she sent them both away.
Not long after, Taejo and Brother Woojin came but Kira refused to talk to them.
Even when Jaewon knocked at her door, she didn’t speak. She didn’t move. She lay on her pallet and covered her head with her blanket, too tired to cry anymore. She had never felt so vulnerable in her life. The death of her tiger spirit was as devastating as the loss of her parents. It was as if part of her soul had been ripped out and destroyed. She fell into a trancelike depression. No matter who spoke to her, she didn’t have the energy to respond.
“I need to go find our brother,” Kwan said. “But I don’t want to leave you like this.”
Kira closed her eyes, hoping he would go away.
“Kira, you’re scaring me,” he said. “Please talk to me!”
But Kira had no words anymore. She was empty.
He sighed and stepped outside. She heard him talking with the others.
“Major Pak, I know your first duty is to the prince, especially with my sister like this, but you must keep an eye on her until I return,” he said. “The dokkaebi army and Gom will keep all of you safe, but please check in on her. I must find my brother. She needs him. I will be as quick as I can.”
Kira stayed in her room. She barely ate. Only Gom and the women servants came in and out of her room.
Taejo slipped into her room and sat with her for an hour. He soon left when all his efforts were met with silence.
Out in the hallway, she heard him speaking tearfully to Brother Woojin. “She won’t talk to me,” he said.
Brother Woojin responded in a soothing voice. After a while, they left.
Relief. All she wanted was to be left alone. She drifted in and out of consciousness.
Someone knocked on her door.
“Kang Kira, I promised your brother I would check on you,” Major Pak said through the closed door.
Her eyes were open, but her lips refused to speak.
“The servants say you’re not eating,” he said. “I’m growing quite concerned. You must eat something.”
She still didn’t answer. Eventually, he went away.
Sleep brought no comfort. She had disturbing dreams but none she could remember. All she was left with was the feeling of alarm and danger. She was so tired. She wondered if a person could sleep themselves into death.
The little dokkaebi was worried about her. He would scratch at her door incessantly until a female attendant would let him in. He would fetch Kira all sorts of treats like berries, nuts, pears, and cherries.
She ate nothing.
What she wanted nobody could ever give her.
“Gom,” she said, her voice raspy. “Go watch over the prince and don’t leave his side until I tell you to.”
Gom gave her a reproachful look but did as she commanded. The silence lasted another hour.
There was another knock on her door.
She ignored it. More knocking. The door slid open and someone entered.
Kira closed her eyes against the intrusion. She felt someone sit next to her.
“I’m so sorry for what was done to you. Can you ever forgive me?”
It was Shin Bo Hyun.
Rage swept through her. How dare he come into her room? How dare he try and talk to her? He had no right to be there. It was all his fault. If he hadn’t come back, she would never have lost her tiger spirit. Kira threw off her covers and stood up. She had to get away from him before she did something she would regret. Before she could walk away, Shin rose onto his knees and embraced her waist, pressing his face against her stomach. Her rage spiraled out of control and she began to tear herself away, but then she felt the wetness of his tears. They seeped into her jacket. Shin Bo Hyun crying? She was shocked. Her anger dissipated, leaving her exhausted and numb.
Kira placed a tentative hand on his head, caressing his soft, short hair. His arms tightened around her, as his shoulders shook with grief.
When he was finally calm, he rose to his feet, wiping his eyes on his sleeves.
“Kang Kira, my emotions are overwhelmed. Once again because of me you have suffered a grievous harm. The right thing to do would be to stay as far away from you as possible. And yet, I find that an impossibility,” he said, “for my feelings for you have not changed.”
He rubbed his knuckles down her scarred cheek and looked deep within her eyes. “No, that’s not true. They have changed. They’ve become stronger than I could have ever known. I have loved you since I was eight years old. Time will not change this. And all I’ve ever wanted is to be by your side for the rest of my life.”
Kira stared in amazement.
He pulled her into his embrace again. “I want to take care of you. I want you to enjoy life, not constantly worry about battling the enemy. I want to take you away from all of this so you can stop worrying about the prince and start to think about yourself. Think of a future. Come with me. Be with me. Let your brothers worry about this war. Let me worry about you from now on.”
His words seduced her. They were exactly what she wanted to hear at that very moment. To lose all of her burdens and disappear. Mesmerized by his words, she stared at his mouth. He lowered his face and kissed her with firm lips that demanded a response. It was a kiss completely different from the ones with Jaewon. It was strong and confident and electric. But wrong. So wrong. Kira pushed him away and crossed her arms over her chest, willing her heart to calm itself.
“I’d like to be alone now, please,” she said, not looking at him.
After a pause, he dropped a kiss on the top of her head and headed for the door. As he slid the door open, he turned around again. A small wrapped parcel in a wooden bowl was in his hands, and he brought it to her.
“Someone must have left this for you,” he said. After one last lingering look, he exited the room.
Kira took the parcel out of the bowl and unwrapped it. Inside, she found a tiny wood carving of a beautiful tiger bleached white with black stripes. She knew immediately it was from Jaewon. He must have come while she was with Shin. She wondered how much he’d overheard, and how hurt he must feel. Too emotionally exhausted by her own feelings, Kira lay down on her bed. Holding the little tiger tight in her hands, she fell into a deep, uneasy sleep.