Two Weeks Later, September 16, 1967
Garrett swept up the dirt off the floor. Garrett had jumped at the chance to help Bates prepare a house for sale and spend the morning alone, away from his apartment. The old place smelled better than it had earlier in the morning when he started. Opening windows, Pine Sol, and a good wipe down helped bring the grand dame back to life. Maybe someone would buy her and return her to her former glory. Garrett would love to buy the place and turn it into a bed and breakfast, but the finances weren’t there.
The project kept him out of the house and other things off his mind. He hadn’t seen or talked to Eron since he had dropped him off. At Eron’s house, Garrett’d talked to Helen and at work, Eron’s secretary, but Eron hadn’t returned a single call. Garrett’d gotten complaints at the bank with his constant asking about phone messages.
He didn’t know what happened. They’d finally consummated their relationship in June. Then they went away to Provincetown Labor Day weekend. They were supposed to get together the next weekend, but Eron had left a message with Marsha on Wednesday that canceled those plans without explanation.
A perpetual knot had taken up residence in Garrett’s stomach. He kept his grumpiness in check. Every once in a while, it came out as sharp words. Sometimes he barked at the girls at work a bit harsher than he should, but what could he do? He had no one to talk to.
The front door creaked open slowly, interrupting his thoughts. The afternoon sun poured into the entry hall. Likely Bates to see his progress. Garrett glanced toward the door—but Bates didn’t wear penny loafers or a crisp button-down shirt.
Garrett caught his breath when the scent of Old Spice hit his nose. As though by merely thinking about him, Garrett had conjured Eron into existence. He resisted the impulse to run to him, throw his arms around his neck and kiss him. He was pissed.
“Hi there,” Eron said quietly. “Bates said you were here.”
Garrett shrugged. “Here I am.” He leaned on the broom and made no effort to move toward Eron. “How are you?”
Eron closed the front door, then approached quickly, but slowed his advance the closer he got.
Garrett ached to take him in his arms. Eron leaned in and pressed his forehead against Garrett’s to stop him and gave Garrett’s chest a playful punch.
“Not so good.”
Garrett pushed Eron away. “Me neither. What’s going on?”
Eron furrowed his brow in confusion, but made no effort to hold him. “You name it. Whatcha doing here?”
“Helping Bates get this place ready to sell.”
“It’s beautiful.”
“It’d make a great inn don’t you think, like the one in Province—”
“We have to stop this.”
Garrett stared at the pile of dust and dirt on the floor and rubbed the back of his neck.
* * * *
This was worse than telling any client he didn’t think they had a case. This was worse than telling someone he thought they were going to lose, but he had to do it. Eron took a deep breath.
“I’m sorry, can we sit down?” Garrett flicked his head toward a clean spot on the floor.
“Sure.” Eron sat down, legs spread eagle in front of him, hands resting on his crotch. “Can I start again?”
“Sure. How are you?”
“Not good.” That wasn’t the half of it.
“That makes two of us.” Garrett sat down beside Eron and reached for his hand. Eron didn’t pull away. As much as he had played this scene over in his head on the way over, Garrett touch calmed him.
“Gar, who am I kidding. I love you, man.”
“Eron, you canceled our plans and haven’t returned any of my calls. What the fuck?”
Garrett probably meant it to be really direct and forceful, but holding his hand, hearing his voice, seeing his face, everything about him lent comfort and support. He never felt as safe as when he was with Garrett. Ever.
“I haven’t slept well since we got back. I’ve reached for the phone hundreds of times, but for the first time in my life, I am terrified.”
“What’s going on?”
The injury of Eron’s inaction burned in Garrett’s eyes. Eron drew a deep breath. The slight smell of Garrett’s sweat settled in his nose and helped him to further calm down. “Wednesday after Labor Day weekend, an associate was fired. His name appeared in the police report section of the local paper and one of the senior staff saw it. They started their interrogation on Tuesday and he was gone by noon on Wednesday.”
“What does that have to do with us?”
“He spent Labor Day Weekend at Fire Island, like we did in Provincetown.”
Garrett stared at him without saying anything.
“Fire Island is out on Long Island, a place like Provincetown.”
“Oh.” Garrett stared at his feet.
Eron rubbed Garrett’s hand with his thumb. “Where did we go wrong?”
“There’s nothing wrong about what’s between us. Garrett looked back down at their entwined hands. He engaged Eron in a bout of playful thumb wrestling. “What about Provincetown?”
I’d like nothing more than to run away with you there again. “Provincetown wasn’t real.”
“How can you say that? We were there, we saw other people?”
There’s that innocence I love so much about him. “What I mean is that Provincetown is a special place that I’ll hold in my heart. This is reality though, and one or both of us could lose our jobs, you could get kicked out of your apartment.”
He stared at Garrett’s Adam’s apple as it bobbed with his hard swallow.
“I thought we were going to try to see each other a couple times during the week and spend the weekends together like Todd and James?”
After meeting those two, he had resolved they’d do the same, as their schedules allowed, and definitely spend the weekends together. He had resolved to stop all social interaction at work, but would the other staff attorneys question that withdrawal?
There had been a rumor that the associate had been investigated by a private detective and that the Labor Day incident was just the culmination of that probe. Would they ever investigate him? Was he under surveillance right now?
Okay, forget I said this, just kiss me, let me make love to you right here. I can’t stand to see you hurting like this, especially when I’m the one inflicting the pain. Again.
Eron gulped down the words he wanted to say. “Gar, I’m sorry, but it just won’t work.”
It was easier to say the second time. He had to do this, he had to move forward no matter what he felt in his heart. No matter how much he hurt Garrett, they had to stop.
“What about Bob and Dennis being together for all this time?’
“They grew up in a different time, had different experiences.”
“Exactly. You might say they had it worse than we do.”
Eron didn’t respond. Garrett grasped at straws. In the courtroom, Eron could tear this type of argument to shreds.
“You know, I’ve never felt more like myself than I have in the last year.”
Eron tilted his head. “Really?”
Garrett shrugged in agreement. “Sure. When I’m with you, we can take on the world. I was a kid the last time I felt like that.”
Eron shrugged and shook his head as they continued their thumb battle. “I should have never come to see you after Johnette called Mary Ellen.”
“Why not? It was cute, college jock defends his cheerleader girlfriend.”
Eron chuckled.
“So now what?” Garrett asked.
“I take Mary Ellen to the country club this Saturday night and every Saturday for the rest of our lives. You finish here and call Johnette, I’m sure she’ll take you back. We focus on our careers to provide for our soon-to-be wives and future families, and life turns out just like it did for our fathers.”
Eron twisted his lips in a slight frown, tears pooling in his eyes and blurring his vision. Garrett leaned in to kiss Eron but his lips landed clumsily on Eron’s cheek. Eron turned his head and accepted the kiss. Sweat, tears, and Garrett’s kiss moistened his face. He devoured Garrett’s lips. This would be the last time he taste Garrett in his mouth, hold him in his arms.
For one brief moment, Garrett’s kiss told him that everything would be all right. He wouldn’t feel better after today, they might not recover after tomorrow, or the next week, or the next month. But Garrett’s touch and kiss assured him everything would eventually work out.
“I want to scream, punch something. This isn’t fair,” Eron said.
“Why don’t you?”
“Because I’ve given up the fight.”
* * * *
He’d never kiss Eron again. Ever. He hadn’t the courage to ask for another from someone trying to end things.
Garrett rested his forehead on Eron’s and grinned with closed eyes. He held Eron by the back of his neck for a moment and then let go.
It’s finished.
Garrett drew a deep breath, his core warmed with nerve. “Eron, if you really want this to be over, there’s no more coming back around and trying to make up. This is it.”
Fifteen months ago, he would have never said that to anyone. Ironically, with Eron’s help, he had found courage and strength. Eron wasn’t going to walk all over him anymore, and neither was Johnette.
“Can’t we be friends?”
“Maybe we can be friends at some point in the future, all of us, but for now, I need some space.”
“What about holidays?” Eron asked.
Garrett grunted as he got up off the floor. “Oh, we can’t avoid each other. I suppose we’ll show up, exchange nervous greetings between the two families. Then we’ll all work real hard to ignore each other the rest of the time.”
Eron chuckled humorlessly. “I suppose so.”
He offered his hand to help Eron get up. “So now what?”
Eron walked back into the entry hall and paused at the baluster at the bottom of the stairs. “I go home and get ready to take Mary Ellen to dinner at the country club. I’m going to ask her to marry me. Monday, I return to work, focus on my career, and live unhappily ever after, just like my parents.”
Garrett leaned in the doorway and wrapped his arms around his stomach. “You’re going to ask her to marry you?”
Eron looked away, his head bowed. “Yeah. That’s the next step.”
Garrett let out a nervous chuckle. “Hey, I was thinking of asking Johnette the same!”
The lie hung between them like a heavy winter storm.
“That’s great. Sounds like a good idea. A fine…” Eron looked out the sidelight by the door and then back at Garrett in the doorway to the library. “Seems weird, huh? Living the same lives as our parents? The world is hardly the same as it was when they were our age.”
Garrett shared his chuckle. “Yup. We volunteered for war, now the kids are going to college to get out of it.”
“Or to Canada,” Eron added.
Run away to Canada with me…He swallowed the words down and wrung his hands.
“So I suppose we’ll see you and Mary Ellen at Thanksgiving?”
“Yeah, that’s about right. See ya.”
Eron hung his head and walked out the door. Garrett leaned against the baluster and sniffed the final few notes of Eron’s Old Spice. Eron turned around and ran back inside. Garrett met him halfway, the impact of their embrace producing an audible thud. Eron crushed his lips into Garrett’s. The final goodbye. Eron broke the embrace and walked away, wiping tears from his eyes without looking back.
Garrett leaned against the door, gripping the knob, and watched his happiness walk down the street.
* * * *