I SMILE AT the nurse when she quietly enters the room then watch her get a soft look on her face when she searches for Jenna and finds her cuddled in Justin’s arms, both of them asleep in a chair next to my bed.
“You doing okay, honey?” She comes toward me, pulling the cart with a blood pressure cuff and thermometer attached.
“Yeah.” I look over at the man in the chair next to my bed, holding my beautiful girl, thinking good doesn’t even express half of what I am right now as she takes my vitals.
“Are you in the mood for company?”
“Company?”
She turns to look at me as she writes down the information from the machine on the whiteboard on the wall at the end of my bed. “There’s a whole bunch of people out in the waiting room who are looking forward to meeting your little beauty.”
“Are you sure they aren’t here for someone else?”
“I’m sure.” She smiles then says, “If you’re okay with them coming in, just press your call button and let the desk know.”
“Okay,” I reply, wondering who could be here.
“Do you need anything else right now?”
“I think I’m okay for now.” I watch her nod, and when she leaves, I look at Justin and see his eyes are open and on me. “The nurse said people are here.”
“I heard. Do you feel up to having people around?”
“I don’t know,” I admit quietly. There’s a very short list of people I’d be comfortable having in the room with Jenna so soon. She was only born a few hours ago, but that doesn’t mean that my maternal instincts aren’t already in full swing. “Would you mind going out there to see who it is?”
“I don’t even need to leave the room to figure that out.” He offers me a reassuring smile as he shifts his hold on Jenna so he can pull his phone out of his pocket. “Kenton sent me a text when the lactation consultant was here to help you get Jenna to latch on the first time. He and Autumn were getting ready to come to the hospital to check on us. They should be here by now. I can ask him who else is out there with them.”
“Your friends came to check on us?” My voice wavers at the end, and Justin’s head jerks up. After he scans my face, he drops his phone in his lap and reaches out to take my hand. I give him a weak smile and explain, “It’s just been awhile since I’ve had people in my life who care enough to go out of their way. I… I thought I left that behind in Vegas with my family.”
“Baby,” he whispers, and my gaze drops to Jenna as my eyes fill with tears. It hurts to think she might never get the chance to know her grandparents or uncles.
“Hey, now.” He rises from the chair, with my sweet little girl nestled in his strong arms. Once he settles on the edge of my bed, he places his hand on my cheek. “You’re not alone anymore. You’ve got me, and I’m not going anywhere.”
I wipe the tears off my cheeks and reach for my baby girl, needing to hold her. Once I have her cuddled against my chest, he places his forehead against mine then drops a kiss to my lips and pulls away. I tilt my head back and smile at him. “I never thought I’d say this, but I’m actually grateful for my piece-of-crap car.”
His brow wrinkles in confusion. “What?”
“If it wasn’t for that hunk of junk, who knows if we would have ever gotten together.”
His blue eyes lock on mine as he shakes his head. “Your fucked up car might’ve given me a push to make my move, but I noticed you long before that.”
What he just said registers, and I tip my head to the side. “You noticed me before you gave me a ride to work the first time?”
“Babe.” He strokes Jenna’s palm with a finger, and her tiny hand clamps around it. “You’re hard to miss.”
I look down at my belly, which I thought would’ve gone down more now that I gave birth. “Yeah, I guess I was.”
“It wasn’t your belly that caught my attention.” He loops a lock of my hair around one of his fingers. “I didn’t even notice you were pregnant until after I saw your long blonde hair and perfect ass.”
“Really?” I narrow my eyes on him.
“What can I say? I’m a man.” He brushes his lips against my cheek before shrugging his broad shoulders. “Still, it wasn’t your looks that kept my attention. It was your sweet disposition and courage.”
“Courage?” My nose wrinkles. “I hate to be the one to break it to you, but I’m the least courageous person I know.”
“Only because you don’t see yourself the way I do.” He glances at his phone when it beeps. “And I must not be the only one.”
“What?”
“Kenton says there’s a whole group in the waiting room. Shelly, Johnny, and a few girls from Dolly’s.”
My eyes go wide in surprise. “Really?”
“Yeah.” He pulls his eyes off his phone to look at me. “How do you feel about having a few visitors?”
“I don’t know.” I look down at Jenna, who is nestled in the crook of my arm, and then lift my other hand to tuck my hair behind my ears. “She’s just so new, and I’m sure I look like crap.”
He bends his head, sliding his nose against mine, whispering against my lips, “It’s your call, sweetheart, but you should know you look more beautiful than I’ve ever seen you.”
I sigh. “I guess it wouldn’t hurt to have company, but can I have my bag, so I can brush my hair?”
He brings it to me then lifts Jenna off my chest. “Do whatever shit you think you need to do to make yourself prettier than you already are, even though you don’t need to.”
“You’re good for my ego.” I give him a tired smile when he chuckles then dig through my bag for my brush and makeup kit. I tie my hair up into a ponytail and swipe on some mascara then give up, too tired to do more. I drop my bag on the floor by my bed and settle back against the pillow, in as much of a sitting position as the hospital bed will allow. “Maybe if I’m holding her, no one will notice me,” I say, reaching out my hands for Jenna.
He shakes his head and laughs before crossing the floor to give Jenna to me. After I get her settled in my arms, he tilts my head back with a finger under my chin and brushes his lips across mine. “You’re fucking gorgeous.”
“Thank you.” I rub my hand against the five o’clock shadow on his cheek, enjoying the feel of it against my skin. “You’re not too shabby yourself, especially when you’re all scruffy like this. But you’re going to have to clean up your language around the baby. I don’t think it would be a good thing if her first word was an F-bomb.”
“Our girl’s not even a day old yet.” He grins. “I think I have time to work on how often I swear before it’s going to be a problem.
Our girl. I love that, and I really love how he talks about the future like he fully expects to be in Jenna’s life and mine. Honestly, I’m not sure what I would’ve done without him today or the past few weeks. Meeting him changed everything, and for the first time in a long time, I don’t feel alone.
Looking down at my precious baby girl, it hits me how much I miss my family and just how much they’re going to miss out on. They won’t hear Jenna’s first words or see her first steps. They won’t be around to watch her unwrap presents for the holidays. My brother Aedan, who taught me how to ride a bike, won’t get the chance to do the same with her, and all because he and the rest of my family refused to listen to me when I told them I wanted to keep her. I know Aedan worked hard to build his empire, but I’m hurt his business was more important than my happiness and my beautiful girl.
“Hey,” Justin whispers, wiping the tears I didn’t even notice from my cheeks with his thumbs. “What’s wrong, baby?”
“Just thinking about my family.” I breathe deep, trying to get ahold of my runaway emotions. “I wish things were different so they could be in her life.” I stroke a finger down her soft cheek, still amazed I created her.
“I bet if they met her, they’d see how special she is and understand why you fought to keep her.”
I wish the situation was that simple, but between Aedan’s position in the Las Vegas criminal world and his connection to Jenna’s sperm donor, it’s much more complicated.
“Maybe,” I agree, not wanting to get into the reasons that will never happen.
“No more tears, okay? No matter what, I’ll be by your side,” he assures, and I try to smile, but instead more tears fall, and his expression fills with worry. “You sure you’re up for visitors?”
I swipe away the last few tears on my cheeks and nod. “Yeah, go ahead and let them know they can come in. I hate that they’ve been waiting.”
“Fuck all of them,” he rasps, cupping the back of Jenna’s tiny head and my cheek in each of his large hands. “You two are what’s important.” The gesture and his words are so sweet I almost start to cry again. Instead, I pull in a few deep breaths.
“I think I’m okay now.”
“You sure?” No, I want to say, but I don’t. Instead, I give him a nod. He studies me for a moment then sends a text to his friend. A few minutes later, my hospital room is full of visitors. Kenton and Autumn bring in a huge teddy bear and a bouquet of pink mylar balloons. Johnny has a bag full of takeout from my favorite deli. Shelly, Maria, Lana, and Stella have a new outfit for Jenna with a matching cap and booties and a few other odds and ends I know I will need.
“You guys didn’t need to bring anything.” I hand the outfit to Justin as he gives me the sandwich he unwrapped. I’m hesitant to eat it in front of everyone, because it feels rude, but it’s hard since I’m starving.
“Eat up, girl. I know you’ve got to be hungry,” Johnny says softly, touching my hair, and I smile up at him before taking a bite of roast beef and melted cheese on soft, doughy bread.
“I know every time I gave birth I felt like I just finished a triathlon,” Stella says, and Maria nods in agreement.
“When have you ever ran in your life?” Shelly asks, rolling her eyes.
“I chase after my kids every day. They don’t have an off switch; they just keep going and going and going.” Stella shrugs.
“The upside is they keep you in shape.” Lana smiles.
“I guess that’s something to look forward to when Jenna gets big enough to run wild around our apartment,” Shelly says, not appearing like she’s looking forward to that at all, which makes me wonder how long she’s going to be okay with us living with her. Worry fills my stomach. I’m not sure how I’m going to afford a place of my own, but I might have to figure it out sooner rather than later.
Justin’s eyes lock on mine, and he must misinterpret my expression, because he turns to Autumn who’s holding Jenna. “Sorry, Sweetcheeks. Visiting time is over.”
“Aww, but I’m not ready to give up baby cuddles yet,” she complains as she transfers Jenna over to him.
“Then you need to get your own,” he mutters, kissing the top of my girl’s head and making Autumn laugh. But I notice Kenton looking at her with an intensity in his eyes that tells me it won’t be long before they have a little one of their own if he has his way.
“He definitely has my approval. You landed yourself a good one, girl,” Stella whispers in my ear, giving me a hug, which is followed by quick hugs from the rest of the girls and Johnny. Each of them give Justin much the same approval before they leave. Their admiration doesn’t really surprise me, since Justin is the best man I’ve ever known. I just hope I can be what he needs and that my daughter and I won’t be too much for him to handle.