Jason Statham

Jason Statham’s character

‘Jason Statham character’

The load screen is frozen on ninety-eight per cent, Jason Statham’s facial expression seems hopelessly optimistic next to that of the murdered man slumped against the counter of a Florida swamp bar. Forty-five minutes into this film, Jason Statham has worn a beige and yellow trucker cap in almost every scene. The trucker cap represents his character’s desperate struggle for a quiet life; the murdered man represents the right to defend oneself.

Jason Statham, Hill thinks.

Jason Statham’s character, Hill thinks.

‘Jason Statham character’, Hill thinks.

Jason Statham’s main adversary in this film is played by James Franco. The makeup department on this film have been instructed to make James Franco appear less attractive than he does in his other films. The audience are being actively dissuaded from siding with James Franco, his face and hair look unwashed and greasy, and his clothes appear grimy. James Franco is saying words like crystal and darling in a deep-south accent and it’s clear that his destiny is to be killed by Jason Statham. Jason Statham is an American man who says words like justice and daughter in a south-east London accent and it’s clear that his destiny is to kill James Franco and resume his peaceful existence.

The small red circle with ninety-eight per cent displayed in the centre continues to spin. Trudy’s flat is cold, she had previously told Hill that her landlord was away for six months and wouldn’t return any of her emails.

I think he can definitely see these emails I’m sending, Trudy says. Seems like he doesn’t care. I guess maybe it’s okay to experience living without heat. I don’t know, is he trolling me?

I’m going to start working out, seriously, Hill says. Maybe he’s trolling you, it’s possible.

Hill looks towards Trudy, she has an angry facial expression. Hill looks back towards the screen and stares at the frozen loading symbol.

Okay, great, Trudy says.

Trudy gets up from the futon and walks into the kitchenette where she opens the tap and pours a small glass of water. Trudy lifts the small glass to her mouth and drinks the water. She holds the glass underneath the tap and pours another glass.

***

The Jason Statham film is seventy minutes in and many people have died or been severely injured. Jason Statham’s daughter remains in serious danger, and there is an implication that if she is caught by James Franco and his gang she will be raped, murdered, her body probably buried somewhere in the swamp.

Trudy picks up her phone and walks into the bathroom. She pulls down her leggings and pants and sits on the toilet. Hill pauses the film.

Don’t bother pausing, Trudy says.

I’ll pause it, Hill says.

You don’t need to, I’m not enjoying it, Trudy says.

I’ll pause it, I need to go after you, Hill says. Hill clicks pause and listens to Trudy pee. The screen is frozen on a close-up of James Franco with an aggressive facial expression.

No more pee sound, Hill thinks.

Will she flush, Hill thinks.

Hill looks past the laptop screen and towards the window. It’s dark outside, the few streetlights on the road beneath the building are obscured by large unkempt trees. Standing on tiptoes, Hill can just about see the strait and the island. Trudy’s flat is directly opposite a mansion on the island that was converted to a nursing home in the 1980s, but is now a luxury hotel with a wine tasting cellar and helipad. It was reported that John Major and his wife Norma had stayed there recently.

Thumbs up, would recommend, Hill thinks.

Hill looks towards the half-shut bathroom door and can hear the sound of Trudy’s fingers tapping on her phone screen. Who are you messaging? Hill says.

No one, Trudy says. Just some guy. He keeps asking me out.

Okay, Hill says.

Fuck you, Hill thinks.

Hill shuts his eyes.

Don’t think about Trudy, Hill thinks.

Don’t think about Lucy, Hill thinks.

Don’t think about Roger, Hill thinks.

Don’t think about anything, Hill thinks.

Hill gets up from the bed and puts his shoes on. He walks over to the desk and pauses as he notices a hand-drawn calendar with Countdown to Aus written on it. Hill picks up his wallet and car keys. He looks at the wallet, a gift from Lucy.

Converted me to wallets, Hill thinks.

Legacy, Hill thinks.

Still typing, Hill thinks.

Leave quietly, Hill thinks.

Hill looks over towards the bathroom, the laptop screen, the window, then back towards the bathroom. He walks towards the apartment door, opens it and walks out into the communal hallway and down the wide, twisting oak staircase.