Define success though

Hill and Trudy are sitting at the kitchen table drinking smoothies made with cinnamon, almond, oat milk, wheatgerm, cacao powder, and banana.

Hill is staring at his drink, watching separation occur, wishing he couldn’t see this, wondering about Roger’s hospital appointment and how much shit Roger was probably giving the consultant.

Is it deliberate? Trudy says. I mean … how do people usually respond to your silences? If Jack Black bought the rights to my film I’d—

Did I tell you that? Hill says, experiencing a creeping sense of devastation.

No, Roger did, Trudy says. In the Co-op. Within ten minutes of us meeting. He told me he always believed something like that would happen to you—

Nope, Hill says.

He said that you get your sense of humour from him—

Nope, Hill says.

Honestly, you don’t seem that funny most of the time, Trudy says. But Roger is funny a lot of the time, so I trust his judgement.

I mean, Hill says. I can’t–

What’s the film about? Roger tried to explain, but I don’t remember, or I don’t think he explained it that well—

Are you still drunk? Hill says.

Are you?

I don’t think I was drunk. I’m very disciplined with alcohol.

You were really drunk, Trudy says. You told me about your ex-wife, she sounds nice.

‘Ex-wife’, Hill thinks. ‘Sounds’.

Hill feels sick.

Hill picks up his smoothie, looks at it, puts it back down on the table.

Thank you for this drink, Hill says. I can tell you ‘about’ ‘Jack Black’ if you want.

Yes! Trudy says. ‘Sure!’

Jack Black bought a two-year option. We had a meeting—

In Hollywood?

Hill shakes his head. Please let me get this over with, he says.

Trudy nods and clicks the play button on an imaginary Dictaphone.

That’s great. Okay, no—

Trudy mimes turning the Dictaphone off and putting it in the breast pocket of her shirt.

Jack Black bought a two-year option to remake the podcast, Hill says.

Can I listen to this podcast? Sorry!

To remake the podcast as a movie, Hill says.

Why would he do that?

It wasn’t a real podcast, Hill says. It was a fake podcast that we came up with and filmed ourselves recording.

What was the podcast about?

It was a fake podcast, Hill says. You never really heard the podcast.

I can see this is very Hill. Very, very Hill, Trudy says.

Yep, Hill says.

The Secret Life of Podcasters Gone Wild—

Yep.

And you were in this? Trudy says. Talking? Acting?

Well, um. Sorry, I just want to finish this, Hill says. We had a Skype meeting in my studio and … Jack said we were talented people with a brilliant concept and he wanted the world to appreciate it like he did. He was wearing circular, clear frames and a white polo neck. He didn’t smile for the whole time he was talking to us, and afterwards we all felt confused and impressed somehow. Seems insane and sinister in hindsight. Then after two years of total silence, a few months ago someone from his production company emailed and said that he was as passionate as ever about the project and would be renewing the option for another two years. I mean, I, it’s good, it’s great.

Trudy takes a small sip from her smoothie and begins nodding her head.

I’m honestly about to cry, Trudy says. I’m definitely still drunk. I mean, define success though. Fuck it. Film another fake podcast. Film a real podcast. Film a fake real podcast about the filming of the fake podcast. Just do something about it you lazy bums.

We’ll work on something, um, Hill says. Ed’s busy. I need some time out, I think. Anyway, the Jack Black thing might still happen…

I want to hug you, you look so sad, Trudy says. You are successful. You have your own studio—

Studio apartment, Hill says.

Hill starts laughing and Trudy starts laughing. They are both crying a little.

Roger doesn’t need picking up from the hospital for another hour, Trudy says. I could roll a really weak joint?

Trudy gets up from the table and leaves the kitchen. Hill listens as the upstairs floorboards creak directly above him. He can hear music coming from the bedroom Trudy uses for her overnight stays.

‘Trudy’s room’, Hill thinks.

Hill looks at the smoothie and puts his hand around the tall glass. It still feels cold. Hill leans forward and lets his nose hover above, then briefly touch, the frothy top layer of smoothie.

Thank you for making this, Hill thinks.

Hill hears Trudy shouting down. He picks up the glass, drinks half, and takes it upstairs with him.