No man is rich enough to buy back his past. Oscar Wilde
Pastor awoke suddenly, turned over onto his right side, and for a moment, he imagined Audrey was lying in the bed next to him. It took only a second or two for his mind to connect with his vision to see that side of the bed was empty. He looked to the left of him. He picked up his cell phone from the nightstand next to the bed—8:36 pm. He hadn't meant to sleep this late. He had spent most of his day at Holy Rock, which had become custom for him since he was now part of the paid ministerial staff.
When he arrived home, it was five o'clock in the evening. He had a sandwich and then told Josie he was going to lie down and take a power nap until it was time for dinner. During his sleep, he dreamed about Audrey. It didn't happen often. Usually when he dreamed about her, he felt she was trying to tell him something. That was Audrey though. Seemed like dead or alive she kept up with everything and everybody at Holy Rock. Pastor rose from the bed, swung his legs down to meet the floor, and smiled at the thought that even up in heaven with God, she was still making it her business to intertwine herself with him here on earth.
In his dream, she was talking and pacing across the floor, dressed like she was going to walk the runway for one of those top name designer fashion shows. Suddenly, Pastor stopped smiling, and a troubled look washed over his face as he tried to recall something in the dream that disturbed him. He couldn't put it together, but he felt a dis-ease in his spirit.
"So you finally decided to get up, huh? I thought you were out for the night. You must have had a lot on your plate at Holy Rock today," Josie said as she appeared in the doorway and walked into their bedroom.
"Yep, you know there's a lot going on around there in preparation for Jubilee. Pastor McCoy wants everything to go perfectly. Several pastors and their wives and families are flying in, along with three guest choirs. And then you know the banquet is Saturday night."
"Yeah, the weekend will be here before we know it. I still need to go look for a pair of shoes tomorrow to go with the dress I found. I guess I'll call Millie and see if she wants to go with me.
Millie was a dear friend who Josie met at a Golden Friends event. After talking at length with Millie, Josie found out that she lived in Emerald Estates too.
Pastor and Josie had moved back to the house in Emerald Estates after Pastor's health improved. Josie didn't have a problem with it. It may have been the house Pastor once shared with Audrey Graham, but Josie wasn't bothered. Let the dead rest in peace and let the living keep living until they die. That was one of Josie's sayings.
Millie moved to the neighborhood when her son and his family purchased a home one street over from Pastor and Josie. The two women spent a lot of time together, primarily going shopping or out for lunch.
Pastor stretched and yawned, but didn't move from off the bed.
"Are you still tired?" asked Josie.
"To be honest, I definitely could go back to sleep," Pastor replied and chuckled lightly. "But I need to take a shower and now that I'm sitting here, I feel myself getting a little hungry."
"Why don't you go ahead and take your shower. I'll fix you a plate by the time I think you're done," Josie offered.
"That sounds good. What'd you cook? Not that it matters, cause everything you make is good enough for a five star restaurant," he said.
"I bet you tell all your women that," Josie came back, giggling. "Fried pork chops, collards, cornbread, fried corn, and mashed sweet potatoes. I made a gallon of sweet tea with lemons, too."
Sounds delicious. Anything for dessert?" Pastor loved to indulge in his desserts from time to time. When Audrey was alive, he tried to steer clear of them because Audrey developed diabetes and he didn't want to, in any way, tempt her to eat unhealthy.
"I made a pan of frosted chocolate brownies."
"Yum. You know you know the way to my heart."
"Man, take your shower so you can eat your dinner and so I can do like you just finished doing - go to bed."
"You don't have to tell me twice." Pastor got up and undressed down to his boxers before heading to the bathroom. As he showered, he hummed one of his favorite songs, You Ain't Seen Your Best Days Yet, by Bishop Paul Morton. He hummed and sung until the memory that he'd dreamed about Audrey took precedence over his thoughts of the song. Once again, an unexplainable uneasiness settled over him. Audrey, I miss you, honey. Not a day goes by that I don't think of you.
In his mind, as the warm jets of water streamed down his body, Pastor thought of all the years he was with his dear Audrey. All the good times and the not so good times. He thought about the day he saw Audrey waltz into Holy Rock, holding the hand of her little boy, Stiles. She was a vision of beauty. He shook his head briefly from side to side like he was trying to toss a memory from his mind. He opened his eyes as he simultaneously rubbed both hands over his face to brush away the heavy stream of water. One memory after another came and went.
Then there was one memory etched in his mind that he didn't want to think about; hoped he could forget but couldn't. It was the memory of the woman he once loved before Audrey. There was a time he thought she would be the one that he would spend the rest of his life with. But after being in and out of her life for two years, he came to the realization that something was not quite right. It took some doing, but he was finally able to completely break things off with her. Thank God that he did, because it paved the way for his heart to receive the love of Audrey.
Pastor tried to suppress the unpleasant memories of the woman, but every now and then they reared their ugly head. Today was one of those times. My, my, my, if only some things could stay hidden forever.