Sometimes we are taken into troubled waters not to drown but to be cleansed. L. Daskell
The program portion of the banquet was complete with entertainment that included a gospel band, praise dancers, and presentations. Politicians and pastors alike came forward to praise Hezekiah for the outstanding job he was doing as the senior pastor of Holy Rock. A couple of them acknowledged Pastor and Stiles for their past positions. Each person who came up and spoke presented Hezekiah with an envelope as they passed his table.
"Pastor, look at Pastor McCoy’s table. See that woman sitting at the table with them?”
“Yeah, what about her?”
“Doesn’t she remind you a little of mother?" Stiles said casually while indulging in the first course of a three-course meal.
Pastor coughed into his handkerchief. "Umm, no not to me." He picked up the glass of water in front of him and took a swallow.
Hezekiah’s aunt pushed back from the table and stood up. "Excuse me, I'm going to the ladies room," she told Fancy. "I'll be back shortly."
"Okay," Fancy replied and pointed. "It's over there, down the long hall, and to the right. Do you want me to go with you?"
"No, I'll find it."
Pastor watched as the rather short hippy woman got up from the McCoy’s table. “Josie, I’ll be back. I need to go to the men's room.” He removed the napkin from his lap and placed it on the table, then stood up.
"Are you sure you're okay?" she asked him again.
Pastor tried not to show that he was somewhat anxious. Seeing the familiar looking woman had him jumbled up on the inside and confused in the head. If she was who he thought she was, what was she doing here? He hadn’t seen her in years. It couldn’t be her because if it was, how did she know the McCoys?
"I told you, I'm good, Josie. Now, I’ll be back in a few," he said, sounding agitated.
"Hey, where are you going?" Stiles asked his father.
"To the can," he said. "I'll be back."
Entering the long hallway leading to the restrooms, Pastor saw people going up and down the hallway, in and out of doors, and in and out the bathrooms.
There she is. He started walking toward her as she was coming toward him.
“Hi, Chauncey. Long time no see,” the woman said nonchalantly, while she walked up and kissed him lightly on his cheek.
Pastor’s skin turned red as a beet when he saw her up close and heard her voice. “Margaret? Is that you?”
The woman laughed as if basking in the knowledge of the power she seemed to have over him at that moment. “Who else could it be, Chauncey? Surely, I haven’t changed that much. Well, maybe a few extra pounds here, a couple of wrinkles there.” Margaret pushed back loose strands of black hair from her face and laughed.
“What are you doing here?” He walked further down the hall, with her walking next to him, until they came to a room that was open and empty. Taking her by her elbow, he led her into the room and closed the door. Next, he turned to face her and stared at her baffled. “I haven’t heard or seen you in….I thought you were….”
“Dead? You thought I was dead? Well, I’m not.” She chuckled. “Far from it.”
He gritted his teeth. “I asked you a question. What are you doing here?” he pronounced slowly.
Looking him up and down, a sudden icy contempt flashed in her eyes. “I don’t answer to you, Chauncey. I’m not that young naïve, stupid, starry-eyed fool of a girl I used to be. Back then I was stupid in love with you until you showed me that you were nothing but a slick, two-timing dog. Anyway, aren’t you glad to see me?” she said flippantly.
Pastor disregarded what she said and presented a question of his own. “How do you know the McCoys?”
“I know a lot of people. Does that make you nervous, Chauncey, or do you prefer that I call you Pastor like the rest of ‘em?”
“Cut the shenanigans, Margaret and tell me what reason you have to be here? And what does it have to do with the McCoys?”
“First of all, it is Jubilee and I can be wherever I want to be. You don’t have a thing to do with what I do or where I go. You made that clear when you dumped me and married that woman.”
Pastor walked up, closing the small gap between him and Margaret, who was barely an inch shorter than him. Grabbing hold of both of her upper arms, a swift shadow of anger swept across his face as he spoke. “Look, I don’t know what you’re doing here or what you’re up to, and frankly, I don’t give a….”
“Whoa, watch your mouth there, Pastor,” she said with emphasis. You are in God’s house and you are supposed to be a man of God. I know you wouldn’t want anyone to know that you have a nasty little old mouth now would you?” she countered icily. “We’ll most definitely talk later.” Margaret laughed, then turned, opened the door, and boldly walked out of the room, leaving a stunned Pastor standing with his mouth open and his eyes fire red with anger.
Pastor waited a few minutes before leaving out of the room and returning to his seat. When he entered back into the hall, Margaret was already seated. He watched her chattering with Fancy and some of the others at the table, still wondering who she was to the McCoys. One thing he was sure of, whatever the reason she was at Holy Rock, it couldn’t be good.
The banquet continued without incident. Everyone appeared to be enjoying themselves and having a good time. As it approached the end, guests started getting up. Some mingled and others began to file out of the banquet hall and out to the parking lot to leave.
“It’s good to see you.” Rena, who was standing next to her table, turned around to see the person behind the voice she knew so well.
“Hi, Stiles. It’s good to see you as well,” she said rather politely.
“How’s the family?” he asked.
“Good,” Rena responded. “How are you?”
“I’m blessed.” Stiles looked at Rena’s parents who were still seated. He hugged and spoke to each of them and acknowledged the other guests at the table. They all exchanged light, friendly banter for the next several minutes until Stiles gently grabbed Rena by her elbow. “Can I talk to you for a few minutes? Preferably somewhere private.”
She looked at him and as casually as she could manage, replied, “Sure.” She looked at her parents. “Mom, Dad. I’ll meet y’all outside.”
“Okay, sweetheart. Stiles, it was good to see you,” her mother said. “I’ve been praying for you and I’m going to keep praying for you and your family.”
“Thank you, Mrs. Jackson. I hope to see y’all tomorrow. I just know the Holy Spirit is going to be all over the service tomorrow,” he added.
“Yes indeed,” Rena’s father agreed, as did the others at the table.
Stiles and Rena pushed through the growing crowd of people, speaking to some, shaking hands with others, until finally after several minutes, they were outside in the parking lot. He led her to his car, unlocked it, and opened the door for her, beckoning her to get inside.
Rena looked puzzled and a little nervous, but she got inside, and Stiles closed her door.
When he got in the car, he exhaled then looked over at her. “You look good,” he complimented. “Looks like life is treating you really well.”
“Things are good,” Rena replied forcefully.
“How’s Robert.”
“Robert’s good.”
“And the kids?”
“They’re good,” she said, not offering anything more.
“That’s good to hear,” Stiles responded.
“Look, let’s cut through all the formalities. What’s going on? I mean, the last few times I reached out to you to see how you were doing, you let me know without mincing words that I was the last person you wanted to talk to. You didn’t seem like you could even stand to hear my voice. Now all of a sudden we’re sitting here in your car, pretending like we’re best buddies. I don’t understand.”
“I know you don’t. And I’m sorry for all of that. I told myself that if by chance you came this weekend, I was going to make it my business to talk to you, to set the record straight.”
“Set the record straight? What are you talking about?” She swallowed hard, lifted her chin, and boldly focused on him, thinking that he was about to say something else distasteful toward her.
“I’m talking about the way I’ve treated you when you’ve always been nothing but kind to me. You’ve showed your concern during everything I’ve gone through over the years. The death of my baby girl, well, let’s just say, it left me in a bad way. God has surely put me through some fiery trials.”
“But you’re a strong man, Stiles.” Rena’s voice softened. “A strong man of God. I can only imagine what you’ve been going through, and I’m so sorry. That’s all I was trying to tell you when I reached out to you.”
“See, that’s what I mean.” His tone was apologetic. “You are always so kind, so positive. And me, I’ve been nothing but rude and unkind toward you. Rena, I just want to say that I’m sorry. I’m sorry for everything. I’m sorry that I treated you so badly during our marriage and the divorce. I’m sorry that I judged you when I have so many demons in my own closet. I’m sorry that I didn’t see that you were only trying to be my friend when I was going through everything with Detria and losing my little girl, and even when my mother died. God has been dealing with me, you know.”
Rena listened, too stunned to cry. She could feel her face become flushed. Her heartbeat picked up its pace, surprised by this unpredictable man.
“I don’t know what else to say, but to beg you to forgive me. I know now that’s what’s been missing in my life—a lack of forgiveness. I can’t move forward until I forgive, Rena. I had to start with you. I want you to know that I really did love you. You still have a piece of my heart. It’s just that I couldn’t accept what happened between you and Francesca.”
“There’s no need to apologize, Stiles. I understand. At least, I do now. I have to admit that I’m no angel either. I should have told you about Frankie and me…I mean Francesca. I should have told you about the STD. About everything before we got married, but I didn’t. I was ashamed of what me and Francesca were doing. I felt trapped by her and sorry for her at the same time. I didn’t know how to handle things. I’m sorry that I hurt you, Stiles. And for the record, I loved you too.”
They sat in the car in silence, both looking straight ahead. A stream of people poured out of the hall. Many of them were laughing and talking as they went to their cars. Some stood on the parking lot talking.
“There my parents are,” Rena said suddenly, pointing at the group of people walking in the direction of where Stiles was parked.
“Where?” he asked.
Rena continued pointing. “Right there,” she said.
“Oh, yeah, I see ‘em now. Well, I guess I better get back inside and catch up with Pastor and Josie. I want to talk to Pastor McCoy and his family, too.”
Rena placed her hand on the door handle. “For what it’s worth, thank you, Stiles. What you said means a lot. And I want you to know that I accept your apology, and I hope you’ll forgive me, too.”
“Forgive you for what?”
“For not being the wife and the woman you needed.”
Stiles answered, “It wasn’t you. It’s just that it wasn’t meant to be, Rena.” He leaned over and kissed her on the cheek
Rena heard his quick intake of breath and a soft gasp escaped her. Trembling, she opened the door, put one foot outside the car, then turned and looked at Stiles. She spoke the next words carefully. “I think there’s a part of me that will always love you.” Rena hurriedly got out of the car and closed the door behind her without waiting for a response.
Stiles leaned back against his seat assailed by a terrible sense of guilt when he thought of how unfair he had treated the woman he once loved. As he watched her approach her parents, the heaviness he carried around all of these years slowly began to dissipate. He felt a sense of relief, felt lighthearted, like maybe he could finally move forward with his life. Goodbye. You’re the one that I let get away.
“Where are you son?” The text from Pastor said.
Stiles opened the car door, got out of his car, and momentarily stood in the parking lot next to it. He looked around. Rena and her parents were no longer in sight. He texted his father. “Was outside, headed back in. Where are you?”
“Still inside. Can you take Josie home? Something came up and I need to meet with some of the ministers about tomorrow’s service.”
“Sure. She ready?”
“Yes. Meet you at entrance.”
“Ok.”