Chapter 7

“We’re at the campground waiting for you, with your human,” I heard Dorian say inside my head. His tone was one of annoyance.

“Must you say it like that? His name is Sean,” I replied. “Do you think maybe you can try to make an attempt to be nice to him?”

“He’s a human. He’s just going to get in the way.”

“You don’t know that. Just be civil to him until I get there. And keep Lillith from climbing inside his head, would you? I don’t think he cared too much for it the last time,” I said. The memory made me smile.

“I’m not making any promises,” I heard Lillith interject.

“When will you be here?” Dorian asked, ignoring his sister’s comment.

“Well, since I don’t have a portal, I have to fly. And I can’t do that until late tonight. I can’t risk anyone seeing me.”

“All right. We’ll see you when you get here. Be careful. You don’t want anyone sneaking up on you like the last time.”

I stared at the ceiling from my bed. I impatiently waited for nightfall so I could join the others in the Badlands. Although the sun would set in about half an hour, I wouldn’t leave for another four to five hours. I couldn’t risk any humans seeing me make my flight. It would be chancy to fly too close to any main roads, so I mentally planned my route away from the interstate and any nearby towns. I’d have to fly a little out of my way, but if it meant that I could fly undetected, it would be well worth it.

When everyone was standing around my studio earlier, even though we were discussing the possible end of days, it felt good to be around other people who were like me.

Even if they didn’t have wings.

And I liked being around Dorian. Even though he made me nervous, he had a certain quality that put me at ease, unlike his sister. Her, I could do without.

I didn’t know why Lillith disliked me so much. She appeared to despise me even before she’d met me.

It was hard to believe the pair were even related. He seemed easy-going and happy for someone who had limited time left on this earth. But she seemed bitter and angry and didn’t appear to trust anyone, including her own brother. It made me wonder if something had happened in her past to make her that way.

Or maybe she knew something about her future that had the same effect.

I turned my head and stared at the bedside clock. Time was moving much too slowly for my taste. I still had hours before I could leave to meet up with the rest of my group. Should I read? Should I meditate? Should I go to my studio and paint?

I sat up and looked around at the stacks of books littering my trailer.

They were the only thing of value I actually owned, stacked floor to ceiling and covering every wall. Some were extremely rare and could no longer be found in print. There were books on history, religion, science, and even some fiction. I’d read each one at least ten times, some even more.

I wandered over to the area where I kept my books on religion and allowed my fingers to dance on the bindings while I searched for a particular hardcover. I located it and cautiously slid it out from the middle of a stack, careful not create an avalanche. The edges of its binding were worn, the corners tattered with age. There were no markings on the cover that would allow it to stand out, but the title was displayed boldly on the spine in faded white lettering against a graying background.

I made my way back to my bed and lay down. The reprint of The Book of Enoch wasn’t an easy read. It always read as a fairytale to me, but things had changed.

The story was true.

It only took me a few hours to get through the entire volume. Giants, The Fallen, Archangels, Watchers—my head spun from taking in old information with new eyes. It all made much more sense and gave me greater insight into what I was about to encounter. I suddenly understood the importance of stopping The Fallen and keeping Azazel and his army from bringing on the apocalypse.

I began to pull out every book I could find about the subject, hoping to learn as much as possible before facing the war Dorian had described. From my research, angels still walked amongst the mortals of Earth and were able to disguise themselves as human beings to blend in. And there were two kinds of Watchers: those that had fallen and those who’d replaced them. The replacements watched over humanity; they didn’t sleep, and they didn’t interfere with human progress.

I eventually found some passages on Azazel. He’d been the Watcher who’d taught man metallurgy and how to forge swords, shields, and breastplates. He’d taught women the art of making jewelry from precious metals and stones to adorn themselves. And it was Azazel who taught them how to create cosmetics in order to beautify themselves to attract men. Enoch indicated that Azazel was responsible for leading humans astray and causing the godlessness of humanity.

But in every other book I read about the subject, the story of Azazel and The Fallen were considered myth, something made up by early Jews and Christians to explain the unexplainable.

Little did everyone know it was all as real as the wings on my back.

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. A cool sensation of night air wafted through holes in my trailer wall and brushed against my skin. The breeze disturbed the threadbare curtains doing a half-ass job of covering my windows. I shivered. Not from the chilly air, but rather from the thought of the adventure lying before me. I breathed in again and attempted to calm my nerves.

It was a ritual I’d been performing for hundreds of years. Whenever I felt my life had become too complicated—too isolated—I tried to connect with the world. I focused on the sounds around me. The breeze outside shook one of the shudders on my trailer. The tinkling of the chimes hanging from my studio’s awning reverberated around me, sounding a bit like the song from a Swainson’s Thrush.

And I heard the crickets singing from outside my door.

The sound of the chirping was soothing to me. It was a warm, summer evening, so the crickets’ song moved along a little faster than normal. My breathing began to sync with the constant beat of their chirps, and I managed to shut out all the fear and despair and temporarily replace it with serenity. I felt as though I was floating, peacefully relaxing above the clouds. The self-doubt and seclusion I’d been feeling washed away and left me with calm and confidence.

And for a brief moment, I felt like I was part of something bigger than myself. I didn’t feel so secluded—so alone. It was as if I was connected to the world in some small way.

I took one long last breath and slowly opened my eyes. I knew my newfound strength wouldn’t last long. It never did. But it would hopefully get me through the night.

I looked out my window and saw that darkness had long fallen. Checking the clock on my nightstand, I realized hours had passed and that my departure time for the Badlands was imminent. My eyes searched my surroundings for anything I should take with me.

There was nothing I needed other than a spare tank top, my sword, and my wits.

* * * *

The sky was overcast, allowing me a certain invisibility in the night sky. I flew low and kept to the surrounding hills to avoid being detected.

The winds were mild, and I was able to make it to the Badlands in good time.

I could see the campgrounds ahead, but that wasn’t where the three of my companions appeared to have ended up. Sean’s car was parked nearby, amongst various campers and RV’s, but the trio had hiked farther out to an area where they were well hidden. My eyesight had always been far above that of the average human, which allowed me to see long distances. Sean was sitting in a cloth lawn chair, hunched over with his elbows on his knees, head in his hands. His body language told me he was tense, which wasn’t something he typically experienced. Sean was generally easy-going and laid back. I suddenly realized that the revelation of who I was and what I was about to do might be too much for him.

Even though I was much older than Sean, I’d always seen him as a kind of big brother. The guy I vented to about my life; the one who told me I was being an idiot when I showed up at his door completely bloody from another suicide attempt. The same guy who continually found joy in life, and who always had a smile for me no matter how unpleasant I was. It couldn’t have been easy on him. I began to worry that the siblings were right—something horrible could happen to Sean, and I would be helpless to stop it.

From the air, I spied Lillith putting up a tent while Dorian worked on lighting a campfire.

I slowed down and began my descent. My bare feet touched down gently on the rough ground of the Badlands, and I immediately tucked my wings in behind me. Sean was startled only for a second, but he seemed happy to see me.

He shivered.

The evenings got cool there, but I was afraid the fire might attract unwanted attention.

“Didn’t you bring a jacket?” I asked him.

“I’m okay,” he began, putting up his hand to stop me from hounding him. Sean sat straight up and seemed to talk loudly over his shoulder. “I’m going to head to bed in a bit and climb under the flannel blanket I brought. That is as soon as her highness finishes putting the tents up.” He’d clearly wanted Lillith to hear him by the inflection in his voice.

“Well, if you’d have gotten off your ass and helped me instead of sitting there like a veal, I would’ve been done by now!” Lillith snapped.

Sean looked over at me and a broad, cheesy smile spread across his lips.

“She loves me,” he quipped.

“She so does not,” I laughed, shaking my head. “I thought you hated her for the whole ‘trotting through your brain’ thing.”

“Eh. Forgive and forget, I always say.”

“You never say. You just think she’s hot.”

“Definitely.” Sean winked.

I rolled my eyes and went to check on Dorian’s progress.

My wings dragged behind me, kicking up a small cloud of dirt as I stopped at Dorian’s side.

“The wood’s a little damp. It’s taking a bit longer to get it going,” he said. “Don’t want your mortal there freezing to death.”

I chuckled and grasped the hilt of my sword hanging from my belt. “His name is Sean, not ‘my mortal.’ Don’t you think the fire will alert the park rangers that we’re here?”

“Naw. We’re good. No one can see us.”

“Because everyone that works or lives in the vicinity is blind?” I questioned sardonically.

Dorian’s mouth fought a smirk. “How do I put this? Lillith has already sent a, well, a mass brain text to everyone within viewing distance. Even if they see the smoke, they won’t be able to process what it is. It’ll be like seeing something out of the corner of your eye, but when you turn your head, it’s gone.”

“She can do that?”

“Goes with being able to read the thoughts of humans. She can plant ideas, too. Just small ones, nothing big. Even if someone stumbles onto our campsite, they’ll just keep moving. No one will bother us while we’re here. We’re good.”

“I might be the one with wings, but it seems to me that you guys have all the cool skills,” I said with a slight shake of my head. “Portals, seeing into the future, the power of suggestion. What else can you two do that’s way cooler than anything I can do?”

The fire finally sparked, and the flames quickly jumped from log to log. I saw Sean scoot his chair closer to the fire in an effort to get warm.

Dorian stood and arched his back. His arms stretched upward as he groaned deeply. I caught myself staring as the fire caused his eyes to dance, bringing out the pale blue of his corneas. The curve of his mouth crept up a bit to one side, his gaze suddenly fixed on me. I wanted to look away but I couldn’t. My stomach did a little flip up into my chest, something that seemed to be happening more and more since I’d met him.

“That’s pretty much it,” he replied, eventually answering my question. “Maybe a few small things. But I wouldn’t go downplaying your wings. As far as anyone knows, there’s no one else like you. You’re one of a kind.” He reached out and grazed his fingers against my feathers. My wings shook slightly from the touch, and he pulled his hand back slowly. “Sorry. That’s rude of me. I should probably ask before I touch them.”

“I don’t mind. I’m just not used to it is all. I’m not around people much.”

“What about him?” he asked quietly, pointing toward Sean, who was now standing with his backside to the fire in an effort to warm up his rear end.

“He asked to touch them once, shortly after we met. But I think it kinda freaked him out even though he thinks it’s pretty cool. In his mind, I’m like one of those superheroes in his comic books. He used to ask me all the time why I didn’t troll for criminals and become some kind of vigilante, fighting crime. I think it’s good he pulls his head out of his comic books and video games once in a while and sees the world for what it is.”

Dorian picked up a couple of folding lawn chairs and opened them up. He sat in the closest one and motioned for me to follow. I stood for a moment, staring at the confounded monstrosity.

Sitting in a regular chair was always tricky, but the chair before me would require a little extra effort. I removed my belt and gently laid it and the sword on the ground at my feet. I eventually maneuvered my wings in a way where they came out and around, nearly covering my front like a partial cocoon. I sat quietly for a second and glanced over at Dorian, giving him an awkward smile. Casual conversation wasn’t my forte. I fixed my gaze on a large tree stump at the edge of camp with an ax sticking in it. The tree, or what was left of it, clearly wasn’t indigenous to the area.

“Where did that come from?” I asked.

“I took the liberty of using the portal to locate a few necessities. The stump and ax have been, uh, borrowed from a farm not far from here. As well as some of their firewood. I figured it was for a noble cause, keeping us warm so we could prevent the end of the human race.”

“Borrowed?” I asked, raising one eyebrow.

“What? It’d be wrong to steal. When this is all said and done, I’ll return the stump and ax and whatever firewood we don’t use. But if we lose this battle, then it doesn’t really matter, does it?”

I coughed on a laugh, trying to hide my amusement. But beneath my grin, I also understood the grim reality behind his words.

Dorian glanced over at Sean.

“So, what about you?”

“What about me?” I asked.

“What are you into?”

“Into?”

“Yeah. You know, what’s your thing? Your friend over there is into comic books and video games. What kind of things are you interested in?”

I wasn’t sure what to say. “You first.”

“I’m not really into anything. At least not anymore, not since I realized who I was and who I was destined to become. Learning you’re a Hybrid comes with a lot of sacrifice.”

“You said Hybrids only come from mortal mothers. Who was your mother?”

“No idea. Lillith and I were raised in an orphanage. We never knew our parents. A lot of Hybrids out there fall into the same boat. No past. No future. We just are.”

“I’m sorry,” I said.

Even though the cool South Dakota air didn’t affect me, the fire felt good on my wings. I stretched them out to allow the warmth to soak in.

“Well, what about before you found out? Didn’t you have something you enjoyed doing before that? You must have had a hobby. Friends? Something you were passionate about?”

Dorian stared into the flames of our campfire. He rested both hands on top of his head and his gaze grew distant.

“There was someone. Her name was Betty. She lived next door to the orphanage with her parents. We used to sneak away together at night to the top of her apartment building. She used to play this game where she’d invent new names for animals based on their appearance. Like she would call dogs ‘waggers.’” Dorian chuckled quietly to himself. But his expression quickly grew somber. “When Lillith and I discovered we were Gibborim, we followed the call and left abruptly to train with other Hybrids. I didn’t even say goodbye. What would I have said? But I did check up on her years later. Turns out she’d married some guy who had lived up the street from us. When he died in WWI, she went to live with her sister. Never remarried. Died at the age of seventy-five.” Dorian’s voice cracked.

He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees as he gazed at the fire. His mouth twitched to one side. The memory played out on every muscle in his face as he did his best to compose himself.

“I’m sorry,” I said again.

He took in a long breath through his nose and let it out slowly. “No one’s fault. That’s life, a mortal life anyway.”

Lillith had finally finished putting up the tents and ducked into hers without a word.

As if on cue, Sean stretched his arms up over his head and yawned.

“Night, Skyy. Dorian.” Sean nodded at us and headed for Lillith’s tent. He had barely crawled halfway through the opening before we heard her shouting for him to get the hell out. Sean scrambled out backward and stood upright, pulling down his disheveled shirt and smoothing out his unruly hair.

Dorian and I broke out into spontaneous hysterical laughter, unable to control ourselves.

“It was a worth a shot,” said Sean, winking at me.

He turned and climbed into his own tent leaving Dorian and me to pull ourselves together.

We eventually maintained control of our laughter and sat silently, soaking in the heat from the fire.

“So, you didn’t answer my question,” said Dorian.

“You mean, what am I into?”

“Yeah. That.”

“You’ll laugh.”

“No I won’t. I swear on my sister’s life.”

“I heard that!” shouted Lillith from inside her tent.

My eyes grew wide, and I looked over at Dorian. He laughed it off as if he’d anticipated her response. “She has the hearing of a wild dog.”

“I heard that, too!” she yelled out again.

I grinned and shook my head in amusement.

“Tell me,” he said.

I let out long sigh. “Books. I’m into books.”

Dorian grew silent.

“See? You think it’s stupid,” I said, feeling utterly exposed.

“Not at all. The opposite, actually. What do you like to read?”

“Everything and anything. I have a huge collection back home.”

“That wasn’t so hard, was it?” he asked.

“What’s that?”

“Sharing something with me. It’s nice to see you opening up a bit. You tend to be a little off-putting and blunt.”

“I am not,” I said. But I understood what he was trying to say. I stared at the gray ash which had formed at the base of the fire, a few stray embers glowing red within its midst. “Look. I’m used to being alone for the most part. I’ve gotten used to it over the years, at least that’s what I tell myself. Sean was an accident; he should have never discovered my secret. He sucks at directions and got turned around and ended up on my property. Honestly, I didn’t even realize how lonely I really was until he came along. I have to admit, though, it’s nice to have someone to talk to once in a while. Living a life of seclusion can be pretty depressing.”

“Is that why you keep trying to kill yourself?”

“You just can’t stay out of my head, can you? Fine. You want to know? That’s only part of the reason. And to be honest, I haven’t had a whole-hearted attempt in a few decades now. I’ve realized that it’s pointless trying to die when it just isn’t possible.”

Dorian shifted in his seat and faced me, anticipation on his face, forcing me to continue.

“I used to try a lot. There just didn’t seem to be any reason for me to stick around. Their world didn’t seem to need me, and in turn, I didn’t think there was anything I could contribute. I was a pointless girl with wings who had to live in private, away from the whole of society. As time went by, I watched people fall in love, have a life, and then die. Their lives were full of purpose. Whether it was providing for their families, having children, or fighting for a cause, they had purpose. It didn’t seem fair that I just kept existing without knowing why I was here. Instead, I moved around from place to place and lived.” I paused and contemplated my own words. “If you could call it that.”

Dorian’s head fell to the side, looking as though he was concentrating.

“Fair enough. And while we’re being honest, I know you don’t sleep,” he said. He pointed at his head. “You were thinking about it earlier. I heard.”

“Jerk.”

“I can’t help myself. Your thoughts are intriguing.” He smiled, and stood up out of his chair. “As are you.” He moved his chair back a few feet and made his way back to my side. “I, on the other hand, do require sleep. Another thing we don’t have in common.”

Dorian leaned over and kissed me gently on my cheek. He pulled back a bit, and I found myself just inches from his face.

“Good-night, Skyy.”

My heart fluttered. “Sweet dreams.”