Sean went out of his way to be as friendly as possible to Lillith, still hoping to get her to like him on some level—any level. I watched with amusement as he tried to ingratiate himself any way he could. He pulled a chair out for her near the fire. He put together a plate of food for her at dinnertime. He even attempted to chit-chat with her, asking her questions about herself and then spilling some details about his own life. But she sat, stoic, not allowing him to affect her whatsoever, either oblivious or completely apathetic to his efforts.
But I knew Sean—none of that would deter him one bit. He’d done the same thing to me when we first met, trying to gain my trust and friendship. He eventually grew on me like mold.
As everyone ate supper, we decided it would be best to see what the professor had possibly uncovered during his research of the Badlands. We agreed to get up early and head back to the site we’d discovered the day before. Everyone finished up as quickly as they could so they could hit the sack early.
Dorian and I sat on the far side of the campfire, exchanging glances from time to time, unsure of what to say to each other. I wanted to get to know him better, but I was a complete moron when it came to having conversations. Sean was the only person I’d talked to in over fifteen years, and even those conversations weren’t anything to brag about. Instead, we tended to make fun of one another whenever possible. So, I wasn’t sure it was even possible for me to have a normal conversation with someone like Dorian without coming across like a huge asshole.
“Interesting day, huh?” asked Dorian.
“Um, yeah. Definitely interesting. It’s a good thing we came across Sam,” I replied.
“It’s a good thing you kept him from shooting us.”
“Actually, I would’ve been okay with it if he’d shot Lillith. I probably would’ve been upset if he’d shot you, though.” From the moment those words slipped from my lips, I wanted to retract them.
“Are you flirting with me?” he asked, trying to feign surprise. He could barely contain his boyish smile, causing my heart to flutter for a quick second.
I didn’t know what to say. I think I was trying to flirt, but how would I know really? My experience with the opposite sex had been primarily centered around fatherly figure types and Sean. And I liked Dorian. I mean, I liked having him close by. Or was it that I preferred to have him around more than not? One could say I was more than a little confused.
And I’d seemingly also forgotten he could hear my thoughts.
“You sound conflicted,” he said, covering his mouth with his hands in an attempt to hide a knowing smile. But his eyes gave him away.
Damn.
“Seriously? Knock that off, would ya?”
“Sorry.” Dorian chuckled quietly.
“No, you’re not,” I said, shoving him in the arm. “How do you do that anyway? I hear you in my head when we’re having a two-way conversation, but I’ve never actually been able to hear your thoughts.”
“You want me to teach you how to get inside my head?”
“It sounds stupid when you say it that way.”
“Let’s just say you can learn a lot about a person by listening to what they’re thinking. Sometimes it’s good. Sometimes it’s not.”
I nodded. On the one hand, I liked not knowing what he was thinking. What if I managed to listen to his thoughts and I didn’t like what I learned? What if I found out that my attraction was one-sided? My heart was too inexperienced, I feared, to handle it all.
I couldn’t fathom how mortals dealt with the issue of love and heartbreak, requited and unrequited love. The only emotions I’d ever truly had to deal with were grief and pain and, on the rare occasion, joy. But romantic love? Never.
I glanced over at Dorian. His head was bowed slightly as he stared into his bottled water. I leaned down a bit and saw he had a smirk on his face.
“You’re doing it again, aren’t you?” I said matter-of-factly, sitting back in my chair.
He nodded, lifting his gaze to meet mine.
“Oh God,” I moaned, covering my face with my hands. “I’m so embarrassed.”
“Sorry. Sorry.” He chuckled. He placed his hand on my upper arm. “I’ll stay out of your head.”
From across the fire, I watched Sam yawn. He stretched his arms up over his head and yawned again. He finally said goodnight to everyone, got up, and crawled into the guys’ tent. A few minutes later, Sean yawned, too, and followed Sam into the tent for the night.
Lillith stared at me from across the campfire, her eyes squinting as if she was trying to make some kind of decision about me. I still hadn’t quite figured out why she didn’t like me, but I was getting to the point where I no longer cared. It was hard to believe she and Dorian were related, let alone siblings.
After staring me down for a few moments longer, she finally stood and headed to her tent, zipping up the doorway behind her.
Dorian and I were left to sit quietly side-by-side in the middle of the Badlands. His presence both soothed me and made me nervous. My heart fluttered in my chest, just thinking about the fact that we were finally alone. I think he sensed my nervousness. He stood and stretched his arms over his head.
“Come on. Let’s go for a walk,” he said, lowering his arms and motioning into the darkness with a tilt of his head.
“Now? It’s pitch dark out here,” I said.
“No it’s not. We have the moon and stars to light our way. Come on.”
He reached out his hand, quietly inviting me to take it. I unwrapped myself from my wings which were still curled around me and placed my hand in his. He pulled me out of the chair, but we didn’t move right way. Instead, he stood there and looked deep into my eyes. I felt my pulse quicken, afraid that if he could hear my thoughts right then and there, I’d be completely mortified. He tightened his grip on my hand and led me away from the campground.
I’d never held hands with a guy before, but I quickly found that I rather liked it. It was an innocent enough connection, but a connection nonetheless. We strolled along, silently enjoying each other’s company.
About fifteen minutes later, we found ourselves atop a particular rock formation, looking at the vast terrain laid before us. Then, before I could think of anything to say about the view, Dorian’s lips were on mine.
Startled, I pulled back, not quite sure what to make of the sensation. My fingers immediately traced my mouth as I tried to wrap my head around what he’d just done.
“Why did you do that?”
“Hasn’t anyone kissed you before?” he asked, inching closer.
“No. Never.” With every small step he took toward me, my breathing became heavier. My pulse was racing, and my thoughts began to cloud.
“That’s a shame.” Dorian drew even closer until he was standing mere inches from me.
“Why do you say that?” My voice cracked, barely able to get out the words.
His hands found their way to my shoulders and moved slowly down my arms until they reached my hands, which had begun to tremble at his touch. His fingers intertwined with mine, and he held my hands in his.
“You should be kissed.” Dorian leaned in and gently kissed me again. I wasn’t sure what to do, so I went with it. He reached up with one hand and cradled the back of my neck, causing me to become a bit dizzy.
I felt different—weak. My knees buckled a bit, my heart raced, and I had a difficult time catching my breath. I wasn’t sure what I was feeling.
But I liked it.
Our lips parted, and he stepped back.
“You have your answer now,” he said.
We stood speechless for a while, simply gazing into one another’s eyes. It was all new to me, and I wondered if that was what love felt like. I had nothing to compare it to, so how would I know?
He led me back to the campground, and we stopped at the campfire, still holding hands. I didn’t want him to ever let go.
I had barely known him for a day. Everything was happening too fast, so fast that I didn’t have time to understand any of it. Dorian, Azazel, the Fallen. My thoughts were spinning, and I wasn’t sure how to wrap my head around it.
Dorian brushed the hair away from my face as we stood gazing into one another’s eyes. Then, he leaned in, kissed me gently on the cheek, and quietly crawled into his tent for the night, leaving me to figure out what the hell had just happened.