Kyoko turned around and looked at her sister, who stood in the open doorway, her feet still bare inside the genkan. She was tempted to just tell Kasumi to go to hell. But then she thought about the walk to the train station and about Kasumi’s warning that it’d be difficult to find a taxi.
“Fine.” Kyoko walked towards the passenger door on the left-hand side of the minivan. She had her hand on the handle, ready to open it as soon as Kasumi unlocked it.
“Okay, just a minute.” Kasumi went back in the house, presumably to tell their parents that she was going to give Kyoko a lift. Kyoko saw her appear in the genkan a few moments later, purse hanging from her shoulder.
After closing the front door behind her, Kasumi walked to the car, using the key fob to unlock. Kyoko opened her door and slid into the passenger seat.
The first few moments of the drive were silent. Kyoko didn’t expect Kasumi to say anything. In Kasumi’s mind, giving her older sister a ride was all she really needed to do to show her support.
Obviously, they had a difference of opinion on that.
It wasn’t long before they stopped at a light right in front of Ibaraki Station. Once the signal turned green, Kasumi would pull up to the station’s drop-off zone and Kyoko could get out.
Good, she thought. This awkwardness can’t end fast enough.
The light changed. But instead of turning, Kasumi went straight. Looking out her window, Kyoko watched as they drove past the station. She looked at her younger sister.
“You missed the turn.”
Kasumi said nothing, but as Kyoko watched her, she saw the edge of her lip creep up into a smile.
“What are you doing?” asked Kyoko.
“Why crowd into a train when you can relax in a brand-new minivan?” asked Kasumi.
“No, the train’s perfectly fine. Mom and Dad are waiting for you to come back. With traffic, you’re looking at a two-hour round trip. And then you still have to drive home later.”
“It’s okay, I already told them I’m taking you home.”
“Yeah, I’m sure Mom loved that idea.”
“Actually, she did.”
Kyoko rolled her eyes. “And what made you think it was a good idea?”
Kasumi shrugged. “I thought it would give us a chance to talk.”
“Talk? What’s there to talk about?”
“Well…there’s your attitude, for starters.”
Oh, the gall of this woman. Kyoko had half a mind to jump out of the car right now, traffic be damned. “Mom put you up to this, didn’t she?”
“Y’know, this may shock you to learn, Sis, but I don’t jump whenever Mom tells me to.”
Kyoko couldn’t suppress the quick laugh that escaped her lips.
“I’m serious. Mom and I, we fight.”
“Oh please, you’re the model daughter. You do everything she tells you.”
“No, I don’t.” Kasumi glanced quickly at her sister to shoot her a hard glare. “But you wouldn’t know that, given how infrequently we see you.”
Kyoko sighed and rolled down her window.
“I hope you’re not thinking of lighting up a cigarette.”
The urge to smack her sister built up inside her, but Kyoko suppressed it. “I’m just rolling down the window. That’s it.”
“Fine.”
“Fine.”
The silence that passed between them wasn’t more than a few minutes, but it felt like hours. Every now and then, Kyoko stole a glance at Kasumi. Both hands on the wheel, and Kyoko could see it was a tight grip. Studying her sister’s face, Kyoko saw Kasumi bite her lower lip.
During their childhood, Kasumi would have that exact same look on her face whenever she was nervous. Like the time they were playing Sailor Moon in the living room and Kasumi accidentally knocked over a glass cat figurine their mother loved. The head broke clean off. And when their mother asked them what happened, Kyoko took the blame.
Now she felt the need to come to her sister’s aid again.
“What do you and Mom fight about?” she asked.
“Little things,” said Kasumi. “She sometimes thinks I’m too lenient with Nao. Says I need to give her more structure.”
Thinking back to their childhood, Kyoko remembered how their mother would try and make sure they were always occupied with something that she felt would enrich their futures.
“You’re doing fine.”
Kasumi gave a quick glance to her sister, then turned back to the road. They came to a stop at a red light.
“Sometimes I envy you.”
Kyoko’s eyes widened. She blinked and looked at her sister. “Did I just hear that right?”
“I mean, you’re kind of a rebel.” Kasumi looked at her. “You’re stronger than I could ever be. What you did tonight, getting up and walking out of there? Would you believe I’ve wanted to do that exact same thing so many times?”
A smile spread across Kyoko’s lips, but she wouldn’t allow herself to laugh. It felt strange to hear Kasumi—who so often played the role of the model daughter—to say something like that.
“It’s just…”
Kasumi’s continuation of her thought was like a trigger. A feeling that she was going to say something to get back on their mother’s side crept inside Kyoko.
“Just what?”
“It’s just…why don’t you ever let things go?”
The light turned green. The car remained stationary. Kasumi stared at Kyoko.
“‘Let things go?’” Kyoko repeated the words only once out loud, but an echo continued its reverberation in her head.
“You know what she’s like. Getting into fights with her, when has it ever ended well?”
The cars behind them honked, and once Kasumi realized the light had changed, she stepped on the accelerator and the van shot forward through the intersection.
“You guys fight and argue and yell at each other. And then you retreat to your separate corners.”
The car’s speed continued to increase. Kyoko glanced over at the speedometer and saw the needle easily slide past sixty kilometers per hour.
“You wanna slow down?”
The speedometer clicked up.
“And then you go back to your job and your life and you leave Dad and me to clean up the mess.”
Moving past seventy.
“Kasumi, you’re going a little fast…”
“Mom calls me up on the phone screaming her head off, forcing me to take her side in things. And I try to stand up for you, I really do.”
“Okay, I believe you.”
Kyoko’s eyes were glued to the speedometer. The sound of honking drew her stare to the windshield and she saw they were in the middle of an intersection with the light red.
“I believe you, sis. But you have to slow down!”
The next light was red. Cars were passing through it. From the look Kyoko saw on Kasumi’s face, it didn’t seem like it mattered.
“Kas! Stop the damn car now!”
A realization flashed across Kasumi’s face. She gasped and slammed on the brake. The minivan’s tires screeched before finally coming to a stop right at the crosswalk. Pedestrians had jumped away from it to avoid being hit, and now they all glared at the driver.
For her part, Kasumi was breathing heavily. Her nerves were clearly overworked. It took a few seconds, but finally her eyes drifted to meet Kyoko’s.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “I’m just…a little worked up.”
“Yeah, no shit.”
“Can I…?” Kasumi looked away and swallowed. “Can I have one of those cigarettes?”
“Thought Hiro hated the smell of smoke.”
“I’ll buy an air freshener on the way home.”
“And if he still notices?”
Kasumi hesitated for a moment. Then she looked up at Kyoko with a smile. “Fuck it, I’ll tell him you wouldn’t listen.”
With a laugh, Kyoko produced the pack of Seven Stars and took out two. Putting them both between her lips, Kyoko lit them simultaneously, then took one and handed it to Kasumi.
Once accepting the cigarette, Kasumi took a long, slow drag on it. The light turned green just as she’d begun to exhale.
“Think you can drive without killing us both?” asked Kyoko.
A nod followed and Kasumi stepped on the accelerator, just enough to get the car moving and at the speed limit. Both windows rolled down while Kasumi took another drag, and she blew smoke through the opening.
“At least try to minimize the damage,” she said.
Kyoko did as her sister wished, holding her cigarette outside the window and blowing her smoke in that direction as well. Silence followed for another few moments before Kasumi finally decided to speak up once again.
“I was wondering. When you quit the police…”
Kyoko closed her eyes. A slow drag on the cigarette. The sound of traffic outside her window. This was one topic she tried to keep buried in her past. Something she never wanted to remember again.
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
“I’m sorry, I was just curious. I mean, you never told me or Mom…not even Dad. So far as I know, that is.”
“Dad doesn’t know, either. The only people who know are the ones who were involved.” Kyoko opened her eyes, turning her head towards her sister. “And I’d like to keep it that way.”
There was a moment of hesitation in her sister’s face, hesitation that worried Kyoko of the possibility Kasumi would press the matter. But instead, she didn’t say anything.
“Okay, it’s no problem.”
Another beat of silence.
“But…”
Kyoko sighed, hoping this wasn’t some passive-aggressive way of pushing the issue.
“I just want you to know that when you’re ready to tell me—if you’re ready to tell me—I’ll listen.”
“Don’t hold your breath.” Smoke filled Kyoko’s lungs with another drag on the cigarette. After exhaling, she glanced at her sister again and offered an olive branch. “But I appreciate the offer.”
Kyoko’s phone beeped. She checked the display and saw a text message from her contact at the university: ‘Three different matches. Your girl was pretty busy.’