Chapter 13

No, Really, It’s True

Now let’s switch things up. These facts are so preposterous that they just have to be made up. But, amazingly, they’re 100 percent true.

 

OLD SCHOOL

Bullsh*t!

Oxford University in England is older than the Aztec civilization of the Americas?

Truth:

Oxford opened its doors in 1096, while the Aztecs really got going with the founding of the city of Tenochtitlan in 1325.

TIME FLIES

Bullsh*t!

A day on Venus lasts longer than a year on Venus?

Truth:

In this solar system, a “day” is the amount of time it takes a planet to rotate on its axis, while a “year” is the period of a planet’s “revolution,” or a full orbit around the sun. On Earth, a day consists of 24 hours, and a revolution takes 365 days. It takes Venus 243 Earth days to spin on its axis (a day), but just 225 Earth days to revolve around the sun (a year).

JUST LIKE PARADISE

Bullsh*t!

People used to rent pineapples to look rich?

Truth:

In the 1700s and 1800s, it took a lot of time and money to import pineapples from distant, tropical lands. Having one was a sign of wealth, as they cost about $8,000 in today’s dollars. Rich people would display their fancy pineapple during parties, while slightly less wealthy people in the U.S. and England simply rented one.

HIDE YOUR TOOTHBRUSH

Bullsh*t!

A fine mist of bacteria-laden spray spreads throughout the bathroom after you flush the toilet?

Truth:

This is called “toilet plume.” The sheer force of the flush sends a spray of microscopic particles of whatever was in the commode into the air. Those bits come to rest as far as six feet away from the toilet.

IT TAKES A LICKING

Bullsh*t!

It takes about 300 licks to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?

Truth:

It’s the basis of a famous and long-running ad campaign for the sucker-with-a-heart-of-chocolate: “How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?” A study at Purdue University used a specially made “licking machine” (which mimicked the tongue) and found that it took an average of 364 licks to get to the middle. Twenty student volunteers needed, on average, 252 licks.

COWBOY UP

Bullsh*t!

There are only two escalators in the entire state of Wyoming?

Truth:

Wyoming is home to less than 600,000 people, so there aren’t that many cities, and not too many big buildings either. Both escalators in the entire state are located in banks in the city of Casper.

F*L*U*S*H

Bullsh*t!

So many people used the bathroom all at the same time, immediately after the 1983 finale of M*A*S*H—the most-watched program in American TV history—that it nearly flooded the sewers of New York City?

Truth:

A million New Yorkers held it in until the end of “Goodbye, Farewell, and Amen,” and then, when they were done, flushed their toilets virtually all at the same time, sending an unprecedented 6.7 million gallons into the city’s sewer system.

ROOM TO GROW

Bullsh*t!

Babies are born without kneecaps?

Truth:

It’s just a bunch of loose cartilage in the middle of their cute little baby legs. It hardens into knee bones during toddlerhood.

JUMBO SHRIMP

Bullsh*t!

The mantis shrimp can attack enemies with a force comparable to that of a .22 caliber bullet fired from a gun?

Truth:

The mantis has arms that are, for lack of a better term, spring-loaded. That allows it to propel its fists at a velocity of 75 feet per second. It uses this power to smash through the shells of its prey to get to the tasty fish meat inside.

VIVE LE JERRY LEWIS!

Bullsh*t!

The French really do love Jerry Lewis?

Truth:

As much as France loves high culture, the country also appreciates “low comedy,” or comic buffoonery, which dates back to 19th-century French theater. Film writers think Lewis caught on in France because his wacky, over-the-top characters appealed to that sensibility while also satirizing the “ugly American” stereotype. It also helped that in the 1960s, Lewis participated in a three-week festival in France that celebrated his movies.

DOLLY’S BIG SECRET

Bullsh*t!

Dolly Parton is heavily tattooed?

Truth:

The queen of country music experienced widespread keloid scars on her body—raised, purple marks. To cover them up, Parton got a ton of pastel-colored tattoos. (And she almost always appears in public wearing long-sleeved dresses.)

TALL TALE

Bullsh*t!

Kareem Abdul-Jabbar was a staff writer on Veronica Mars?

Truth:

The NBA legend is very well-rounded. He’s written two mystery novels about Mycroft Holmes (Sherlock’s brother) and in 2019, he was part of the team that wrote Hulu’s revival of the Kristen Bell detective series.

THE BARD’S LADY

Bullsh*t!

The name Jessica didn’t exist until William Shakespeare made it up?

Truth:

Shakespeare invented dozens of words, among them dwindle, critic, and lackluster. His 1605 play The Merchant of Venice includes the character Jessica, the first such use of the name.

DISNEYLAND OF NO BEARDS

Bullsh*t!

Disney banned men with facial hair from their amusement parks?

Truth:

In 1957, Disneyland (the only Disney park at the time) banned its male workers from rocking long hair, beards, and mustaches, arguing that it didn’t jibe with the company’s family-friendly image. Facing staffing shortages in 2000, Disney eased up on the ban. Beards are still banned, but trimmed mustaches are okay now.

IT’S THE PITS

Bullsh*t!

Cherry pits are deadly?

Truth:

Whatever you do, don’t swallow broken or crushed cherry pits. That breaks the skin, allowing for the release of the cyanide inside. Two cherry pits contain enough cyanide to kill a person.

RIGHT THERE

Bullsh*t!

Babe Ruth really “called his shot” and hit a home run, like he said he was going to do?

Truth:

On the way to his seventh and final championship, the New York Yankees’ Babe Ruth stepped up to the plate in Game 3 of the 1932 World Series and pointed at the outfield bleachers. On the very next pitch, he knocked the ball into those bleachers.

ODIOUS ORIGIN

Bullsh*t!

The Nazis invented Fanta?

Truth:

The U.S. government placed a trade embargo on Nazi Germany, meaning Coca-Cola bottlers there couldn’t get the ingredients they needed to make Coke. So, they invented orange-flavored Fanta. After the war, the Coca-Cola corporation took the product worldwide.

HEADS UP

Bullsh*t!

A chicken lived without its head for 18 months?

Truth:

In 1945 a farmer named Lloyd Olson chopped the head off one of his roosters. He didn’t quite get it all the way off, however, and the chicken’s brain stem remained intact. That kept him alive, as did daily feedings of liquid food dropped directly into his open neck. Under the guide of some handlers, Mike the Headless Chicken toured the world as a must-see novelty. He died in a hotel room in 1947 after a year-and-a-half of the headless life.

THEY’RE STILL ON THE NAUGHTY LIST

Bullsh*t!

Philadelphia Eagles fans are so tough and rowdy that they once booed Santa Claus?

Truth:

During halftime of the final game of the 1968 regular season—with the Eagles looking to finish with a dismal 2-12 record—the team held a miniature Christmas pageant, consisting of a bunch of cheerleaders and a man dressed as Santa Claus running onto the field. Eagles fans, exhausted by the season, booed and threw snowballs at ol’ Saint Nick.

BABIES HAVING BABIES

Bullsh*t!

Aphids are pregnant when they’re born?

Truth:

This tiny bug reproduces asexually, generating multiple small versions of itself inside countless tiny eggs. An aphid can get going on that process while it’s still waiting to hatch.

GOING FOR A SPIN

Bullsh*t!

Thomas Jefferson invented the swivel chair?

Truth:

As a Founding Father and chief author of the Declaration of Independence, Jefferson kind of invented America…and spinny office chairs, too. In 1774, he attached an iron spindle and caster to the legs of a chair, added the top part, and sat and spun. But why? Jefferson claimed that absent-mindedly spinning around in a chair helped him think.

A PIECE OF THE PIE

Bullsh*t!

There’s more pizza in an 18-inch pie than in two 12-inch pies?

Truth:

Measure it yourself. A round, 18-incher offers 254 square inches of pizza. Two 12-inchers provide only 226 inches altogether.

 

John Tyler’s Grandsons Live!

Virginia politician John Tyler served as President of the United States from 1841 to 1845, and as of 2019, his grandsons are still alive. How is this possible? Well, at age 52, Tyler married 22-year-old Julia Gardiner and they had seven children together, with the youngest, Lyon Tyler, arriving when the former president was 63. Lyon Tyler also married a much younger woman and was in his seventies when he fathered Harrison Tyler and Lyon Gardiner Taylor in the 1920s.