Chapter 36
by Sandra Russell
My husband, James, and I were only married for five years, but during our time together, I realized what true love really was. He was much older than me, and we married later in life. I like to believe that the universe saved the best for last for both of us.
We lived happily with the cats and kittens we took in during that time, along with a dog we both were attached to. Ours was a happy home and we felt blessed to have found each other. James was a good and kind man who always tried to do the right thing. He was a lifelong smoker and wanted to quit before it affected his health and our lives together. But try as he might, with patches, nicotine gum, and all the other remedies available for people who wanted to stop smoking, he could not break his habit.
He developed breathing problems before the doctors told him he had lung cancer. By the time we found out, the cancer had gone into his brain. It seemed to happen so quickly. In just six weeks, James went from feeling on top of the world to passing away from cancer.
It all started one late December evening when he was having trouble breathing and wasn’t feeling well. He went straight to bed before dinner. I checked on him often and helped him get off the bed so he could go into the bathroom. He didn’t have the strength to walk on his own. He kept telling me that he was sorry, so very sorry, and then started making nonsensical statements. I made light of his comments and put him back to bed.
In the morning, he still wasn’t feeling well and hadn’t eaten, so I brought him some soup. He was not able to keep it or any other liquid down. His conversation, what little of it he could manage by then, became more disjointed as the days wore on, and I knew something was terribly wrong. I did the best I could to help him and make him comfortable, but it soon became too much for both of us. His breathing had gotten much worse and his mind was not the same.
We got him admitted to a hospital in Boston where his prognosis was grim. He was only there for a few weeks before he passed away on January 22, 1995.
I lost my brother and mother in the years that followed, along with the pets my husband and I had loved. I felt their loss every day.
It wasn’t until May 2016 that I had the opportunity to attend one of Roland’s events at the Stadium Theatre in Woonsocket, Rhode Island. Although our families were close, I had not realized that Roland had the gift of spiritual communication. I was not sure what to expect at his presentation, but I was interested in seeing what he did. To my surprise, in an auditorium that held hundreds of people, he gave me two Purple Papers that night. They were from my husband, James. They were filled with words of love that I will always cherish.
Roland shared that James was talking about his breathing problems. The first Purple Paper said, “Please tell my wife that she did her best. You’re right I went through so much. I wish we could have had a longer married life.” Roland also wrote, “P.S. I loved all the kittens and cats over the years. I love you.”
The other said, “James fought a breathing battle. 6–7 weeks before I passed, I was overwhelmed with everything. I didn’t want to ‘linger’ or ‘wait.’ I had to go home because it was too much for me.”
I still miss him dearly and love him so much. He fought so hard for everything. I take great comfort in knowing that he has found peace now and no longer needs to struggle.