Solena
If someone had said I’d be spending the evening running around town with Atilla, then having dinner together, I’d have called them a liar. And yet, here we were. I still didn’t know where Santiago would sleep. My apartment was only a one-bedroom unit. It had been plenty big enough for me. Now that I was going to have my son with me, I’d need more room. Except I couldn’t afford a bigger place.
“What else do we need to get?” Atilla asked, before taking a bite out of his taco.
“I don’t think my apartment can hold anything else.”
He paused with the taco halfway to his mouth for another bite. “Do you have room for your kid?”
My cheeks warmed. I dropped my gaze to the table, not wanting to admit I didn’t know how I’d take care of him. Since he was old enough to attend school, I could work while he was in class. But what about the rest of the time? I was making do with things the way they were now. Adding the expense of having my son with me, and needing a larger apartment, would be nearly impossible to overcome.
“Solena, what’s wrong?”
“I can barely take care of myself. How am I supposed to keep my son alive and give him all the things he needs? You said he might need help. Like a psychiatrist, right? That sounds expensive. What if coming to live with me isn’t the best thing for him?” I felt the tears brimming in my eyes, and I fought to hold them back. Had I only been fooling myself? Atilla had purchased nearly everything today. I hadn’t even been able to do that much, and there was so much more he’d need once Santiago was home. Clothes and shoes were things I couldn’t really purchase until I knew the right sizes. We’d gotten a few shirts and elastic waist pants in two different sizes so he’d at least have something. I knew he’d need a lot more.
“Hey.” He reached over and took my hand. “It will be okay, Solena.”
“How?” A tear slid down my cheek and I wiped it away. “I can’t do this, Atilla. I want to, so much. But…”
“Can you make it work for a few days? Maybe a week?” he asked.
“Why? What’s going to change in that short amount of time?”
“Just give me some time. I’ll help you figure something out. All right? Don’t give up.”
I nodded and went back to eating. He was right. I’d wanted this for so long. I couldn’t let fear hold me back. There were enough obstacles without creating new ones. For all I knew, my son thought I’d never wanted him. I didn’t know how to make him believe it hadn’t been my choice to give him up. From what Atilla said, it seemed like Santiago hadn’t lived an easy life. I didn’t know what to expect. Had they abused him? Or had no one ever wanted him, and that’s why he’d been bounced from home to home?
“What about Casey and Becca? Shouldn’t you go back to the hospital?”
Atilla waved me off. “It’s fine. The club is keeping an eye on her. I have a feeling Rebel and Maui are especially being watchful.”
“It doesn’t bother you? That they might like her?” I asked.
“Neither will make a move. She’s too young and has a lot to sort out. They know it and won’t cross a line. The fact they’re interested in her means they’re invested in her safety, as well as Becca’s. I know my club won’t let anything happen to them, but those two? They’ll be worse than a mother hen watching over her chicks.”
“She’s seventeen, right?” I asked.
“Yep. Turned seventeen three months ago. Why?”
“Then in less than a year, she’s legally an adult. What about then?” I noticed the way his jaw tensed. Yeah, he wasn’t as laid back about as he’d made it seem. No matter how much he trusted those men, that was still his little girl. “She’s lucky to have you. All of you. Not all girls are loved by their families.”
He finished off his food, shoved his plate aside, and leaned forward, bracing his forearms on the table. “Want to talk about it?”
“My parents were… different. Strict. Conservative. When I got pregnant, I thought for sure they’d abandon me. They didn’t. However, they did use it to their advantage. They made it seem like they were benevolent, letting me remain at home while they cared for me. Then they forced me to sign away my rights to my child before I even got to see him. They never once showed him to me or let me hold him.”
“Your name, and your son’s, are Hispanic. But you have green eyes and…”
“I’m super pale?” I smiled. “My mother was a Latina. My dad had red hair and green eyes. His family was Irish. My name is Solena Murphy. It’s probably just luck that Santiago has a Latino name.”
“Do you speak Spanish?” he asked.
“No. My father didn’t approve of my mother teaching it to me, and he made me take French in school. I never met my dad’s family. One time, I heard him talking to my mother about them. I think they were rich and didn’t approve of him marrying my mom. At least, that’s how it sounded.”
“Why do you think they didn’t love you?” he asked.
“I can’t remember ever getting a hug or kiss from either of them. Only criticism. They weren’t just strict. It went beyond that. I’m not really sure how to explain it.” I took a sip of my drink. “When I graduated high school, I left and never looked back. I couldn’t forgive them for what they’d done. I was so wrecked after giving birth to my son my grades suffered. I barely graduated from high school. College wasn’t even an option. If I hadn’t left on my own, they would have forced me out. A less than perfect daughter didn’t have a place in their home.”
“I’m sorry to hear that. Every parent should love and cherish their child. I wish like hell I’d known about Casey before now. I’d have loved to have had her with me all these years. I feel like I missed out on a lot.”
“I don’t know a lot about her situation, or how she was raised, but it’s clear how much she loves you. She knows you’re there for her, and nothing else matters. When she needed help, she came to find you. The fact you welcomed her was probably a great comfort to her.”
He reached over to take my hand. “You’ve never had anyone, have you?”
I shook my head. I wasn’t looking for his sympathy. Soon, I’d have my son back. I wouldn’t be alone anymore. No matter what it took, I had to make this work. I’d let my boy down once already. At fifteen, I hadn’t felt like I had any other option than to go along with my parents’ wishes, especially since Santiago’s father had signed the forms. Everyone had been against me.
Now that I was older, I knew there were programs in place to help teen mothers. If I’d heard about them back then, maybe things would have turned out differently. For one, I would have known I had the right to keep my baby. Second, those programs would have given me the tools I needed to not only hold on to my child, but to give him a decent life.
It was too late to go back and change things, but I could do better. Since I didn’t know Santiago’s current situation, or how Atilla planned to get him for me, I wasn’t sure it would be safe to check into those sorts of places right now. What if I reached out, and some loophole gave the state the right to take my son away? No, I couldn’t risk it.
* * *
Atilla
I saw the determination in her eyes and knew, whatever her thoughts had been just now, she’d decided she’d do whatever it took to make a good life for her boy. I couldn’t have been prouder of her. I also knew she couldn’t do it all on her own, not without any sort of support system. Going to the government wouldn’t be an option right off. Not until I had Wire do some work on his end.
How did I tell her what her little boy had been through? Outlaw might not have spelled things out, but I could read between the lines. If he thought the kid had gotten mixed up in a human trafficking ring, I could imagine the horrors he’d faced. That boy was going to need a lot of help. Mentally and emotionally. What the fuck had her parents been thinking?
I needed to pay a visit to Su and Mark before it was too late. Once Wire had all the dirt he needed on them, the club would most likely make them disappear. I knew all the kids involved would be taken care of because that’s just the sort of thing the Reapers lived for. Taking in abused women and children seemed to be their calling. If someone at the club didn’t adopt those kids, they’d find others who would. Hell, even their President had adopted a teenager at one point.
I leaned back in the booth and wondered what it would be like to raise a kid. Casey was too mature to need me for much but emotional and financial support at this point. In fact, I’d already spoken with the club officers about adding a few tiny homes to the compound. The first of which would be right across the road from my house and would be given to Casey.
Solena was right about one thing. Once Casey was old enough, one of the guys might make a move on her. I didn’t have any right to stand in her way. If she fell in love with one of them, all I could do was give her my support. If whatever guy she ended up with ever hurt her or cheat on her, I didn’t give a shit who he was, I’d bury the fucker. I could be both supportive and protective whether or not she liked it.
Not to mention, I didn’t see a reason Solena and Santiago couldn’t stay in one of the other tiny homes while she got her feet under her. It would allow her to save money, give the kid an extra layer of protection, and Solena would have the support she’d been lacking all her life. It would give the compound a more family-oriented feel as well. Perhaps it would help Meredith in the long run. I had seen little of her lately, but Lynx watched her like a hawk.
I didn’t want to say anything to Solena just yet. Spade had checked into the kits for the tiny homes that would match the cabin style of the other houses. We’d still have to wire them, put up sheetrock, get the appliances in, run plumbing and all that fun stuff. It would just save time as far as the basic structure went. The thought was to use one for Casey for however long she needed it and put in at least three others in case we ever needed to put up guests.
It would have been nice to have them when Meredith first arrived. Instead, I’d had her staying at the clubhouse and told her not to come out of her room when a party was going on. It hadn’t been ideal, and I wanted to avoid the same situation if at all possible. If another club asked for help again, I wouldn’t turn them away. Better to be prepared for anything.
“Let’s get the stuff over to your apartment. I need to check in with Spade, say goodnight to Casey, and then I have some work to do at home.” I gave her hand a squeeze. “But if you need anything, call me, all right?”
“I feel like I’m getting whiplash,” she mumbled.
I couldn’t blame her. I’d gone from keeping her at arm’s length to paying more attention to her. I knew she had to be confused. Hell, I was too. The thought of allowing myself to have something more still felt foreign. All these years, I’d thought I didn’t have room in my life for anyone other than Rebecca. Maybe I’d just needed the right woman to come along. The age difference still bothered me a little. Not because I saw her as a child -- because I didn’t -- but I didn’t want the people around town to speak poorly of her or make her feel bad when they made comments. I knew someone would at some point. No one ever minded their own business these days.
“Sure. I need to organize the things we bought anyway.” She stood and I dropped some cash on the table to cover the meals plus tip. I placed my hand on her lower back as I led her out to the parking lot.
It was a good thing I’d had the SUV. Of course, I’d had to throw out the trash bag and towel I’d put down for Casey, but they’d done their job and the seat remained clean and dry. I helped her into the vehicle then asked for directions to her apartment. I wasn’t thrilled to see where she’d been living.
“What about my car?” she asked. “It’s still at the hospital.”
“I’ll ask one of my brothers to come get the keys. They’ll bring the car here for you.”
She smiled, but it didn’t quite reach her eyes. I could still see the worry in them, and she looked more than a little tired. I needed to get home and see what Outlaw had sent so I could start planning the extraction. The sooner I got Santiago back to his mom, the better off they’d both be.
“You have my number?” I asked.
“No. Only Casey’s, since we work together. But I think it’s a cell phone and not a landline.”
“All right. Hand me your phone.” She unlocked it and passed it over. I entered my information, then added hers to my phone as well before handing it back. “Remember what I said. You need something, you call me.”
“Thank you, Atilla. I know you don’t owe me anything. I really appreciate everything you’re doing.”
I cupped her cheek. “Solena, I will get your son back, no matter what.”
With those parting words, I left and went home. I’d keep my word. I had no idea what I’d be walking into, but those fuckers made a big mistake coming to my town. If they thought I’d look the other way, they were wrong. I was going to get Santiago out safely, and then I was going to make them pay.
Should probably ask the law to look the other way. It was time to call my favorite police officer, or rather his kindhearted wife, Peaches. Wouldn’t be the first time she’d helped us out, and I doubted it would be the last. Good thing she had that man of hers wrapped tight around her little finger.