Solena
I didn’t know why the plan changed. I’d thought Atilla was bringing Santiago to me. Now he wanted me to go to the compound? Something felt off about this. Had my little boy been hurt? Or perhaps one of the other children? I didn’t understand why he couldn’t leave long enough to bring my child home.
When I pulled up to the gate, someone waved me through. At least they’d been expecting me. Only one problem. I had no idea where Atilla lived. I rolled down the window to ask the man standing near the gate.
“Excuse me. Can you tell me how to get to Atilla’s house?”
He pointed off to the left. “Just head that way and look for his SUV and motorcycle. You’ll see some other vehicles as well. Casey is home with the baby, and Meredith is there with Lynx.”
Sounded like Atilla had a full house. It only left me more confused. Why had he taken Santiago to his house? The man had been correct about finding the house easily. I parked on the street, grabbed the small tote of Santiago’s things, and hurried up to the door. Before I even had a chance to knock, Casey opened it, looking beyond exhausted.
“Should you be up?” I asked.
“Becca is asleep, and Dad said you were on your way here. Figured I could at least open the door for you.”
“What’s going on?” I asked.
“The kids needed baths. Some idiot brought girls into the clubhouse, so Dad had everyone bring the kids here. Meredith and Lynx are washing the twins right now. Dad let Santiago use his shower.”
Casey slowly walked over to the couch and gingerly sat. She winced a little, and I knew she had to be sore from giving birth. Movement caught my eye and my breath caught when I saw Atilla step into the room with a little girl clutched in his arms. She looked like an angel and seemed incredibly at ease with him.
“How many daughters do you have?” I asked, then bit my lip, wishing I could recall the words.
His lips tipped up on one side in a half-smile. “This is Nora. She seems to think I’m her daddy. I’ve got a call in to Wire and Lavender to see what they can find out about her. Only thing her file said was that she didn’t have any living relatives.”
“And my son is in the shower?” I asked. “That’s what Casey said. What about clothes?”
“The guys stopped at Dollar General and picked up some underwear and something comfortable for all the kids to change into. Got them each a cheap pair of shoes for now, and a package of socks. They were filthy.”
“I had to help Nora wash,” Casey said. “Dad didn’t feel right doing it, but he had to stand in the doorway with his back to us. Nora nearly came unglued when she couldn’t see him.”
“Wow.” I eyed the little girl. “She really thinks you’re her dad, huh?”
“I think he should keep her,” Casey said. “It’s not like I’ll be living here much longer.”
I blinked and tried to process her words. She was only seventeen. Where was she going? I knew Atilla hadn’t kicked her out. He’d never do something like that.
Atilla nodded toward the front door. “Did you see the construction across the street?”
“I didn’t pay much attention,” I admitted.
“Have some tiny homes going in. Casey is getting a two-bedroom, but both rooms are only large enough for a full bed and small set of drawers. It’s not ideal,” Atilla said.
“It’s a home of my own,” Casey said. “And Becca will have her own bedroom. I don’t need fancy, Dad. It’s safe because it’s here at the compound, and you’re right across the street if I need you. Not to mention all your brothers are here too. I have plenty of people to reach out to.”
He nodded. “And that’s why they’re being built.”
“Why more than one?” I asked.
“Well… I was going to talk to you about that. The one next to Casey is for you. Assuming you want it. Santiago will have a loft bedroom. Your room will be like Casey’s, and downstairs. You’ll have a kitchen with a fridge, dishwasher, cooktop, and oven. There’s counter space for a microwave and coffeepot. In the bathroom, there’s a closet for towels and linens, and another for a stackable washer and dryer.” Atilla shifted Nora in his arms. “Like I said. It’s not huge, or ideal, but it would give you and Santiago a safe place to live. You’d also be able to save some money so you could buy a house or get a larger apartment than you have now.”
Why had he done something like that for me? He’d insisted he couldn’t offer me anything. Then he’d gone and kissed me while we’d shopped for Santiago’s things. I felt so confused right now. What exactly did Atilla want from me?
“I think the two of you need to talk,” Casey said. “I’m going to go lie down until Becca wakes up.”
Casey struggled to get up and I walked over to lend her a hand. She gave me a tired smile and a quick thanks. When she reached the doorway, she paused and studied me.
“I know you’re not much older than me. If you like my dad, I’m okay with that.” My cheeks warmed. Was I that obvious? “That being said… I think you should let Santiago and Nora share the room next to mine today, and you and Dad should talk things out. Sleep beside him. If you can live through the snoring, you have my blessing.”
“You little shit,” Atilla grumbled, but I saw the laughter in his eyes.
After Casey left, I shifted from foot to foot. Had she really meant all that? Atilla didn’t seem bothered by her words. Is that what he wanted to do? We hadn’t been able to spend a lot of time together, aside from the one night I’d gotten drunk at the clubhouse.
“Santiago is protective of Nora,” he said. “She’s right about letting them stay together tonight. While Santiago might go with you willingly, Nora doesn’t want me out of her sight. You’ll never get her to leave the compound.”
“So you want me to sleep with you for the children’s sake?” I asked.
He snorted. “All you have to do is sleep, Solena. I’m not asking for more. The house next to Casey’s really is being built with you in mind. I want to keep you and your son safe.”
A little boy entered the room, and tears filled my eyes. My son. He had my green eyes and dark hair. The rest of him looked like his father. The distrust in his eyes nearly gutted me. Did he think I’d give him up willingly?
“Santiago,” I murmured.
“So you’re her?” he asked. “The woman who didn’t want me?”
A tear slid down my cheek. Then another. I sniffled, trying to hold back the flood. I couldn’t blame him for feeling that way.
“I was fifteen when I had you,” I mumbled. “My parents forced me to give you up. I was too stupid to know what rights I had as a teen mother. Your dad had signed the papers already. My parents said I had to leave if I kept you, except I had nowhere else to go. I was scared and felt like they had backed me into a corner.”
“Am I supposed to feel sorry for you?” he asked, his eyes narrowing.
He didn’t sound eight. He was acting more like a teenager. Then again, depending on what he’d survived, he’d probably had to grow up fast. My heart broke for him.
“No,” I said. “I only wanted you to understand I didn’t willingly give you up. I wanted you, more than anything.”
“But my dad didn’t,” he muttered.
I glanced at Atilla. I wasn’t sure what to tell my son. The last thing I wanted was for him to find out how he’d been conceived. At the same time, I hoped he never went looking for his birth father. He’d seen enough ugliness in the world already.
“Your parents were only seven years older than you are now,” Atilla said. “They were still kids. Didn’t have a clue what they were doing. Nor did they have the ability to raise a child. Your mom didn’t realize what would happen when she signed those papers. Try not to be too hard on her.”
“I don’t want to go with her,” Santiago said. “I want to stay with Nora.”
Atilla nodded. “We figured as much. For tonight, the two of you will sleep in the room next to Casey’s. Your mom will stay here tonight.”
“And after that?” Santiago asked.
“I have an apartment in town,” I said.
“I’m not leaving Nora.” He folded his little arms across his chest and glared at me. I bit my lip so I wouldn’t smile, but he looked rather cute. I liked that he was protective of the little girl.
“There’s some homes being built across the street,” Atilla asked. “I was going to offer one to your mom.”
“Where’s Nora staying?” Santiago asked.
“With my dad,” Casey said as she passed by and went through another doorway. I heard the fridge open and close, then a cabinet. When she went back down the hall, she had a glass of juice in her hand.
Atilla looked up at the ceiling, as if he were praying for patience. Although, the fact he hadn’t put the little girl down yet meant he might he really be considering it.
“Then I’m staying here too,” Santiago said. “Why can’t we live here?”
My cheeks warmed and I couldn’t meet Atilla’s gaze. I certainly wouldn’t mind playing house with him, but I didn’t think he was ready for that step yet. He’d barely reached the point where he was willing to give me a chance at all.
“Right now, let’s get the two of you settled for the night,” Atilla said. “We can discuss everything else after we’ve all had some sleep.”
“Fine.” Santiago turned around and walked down the hall. Atilla followed with Nora, and I fell in step behind him. Santiago climbed into the empty bed, and Atilla eased Nora down beside him. He pulled the covers over the kids and smoothed Nora’s hair back from her face. The tender look on his face nearly made my ovaries explode. If anyone was meant to be a father, it was this man.
“Good night,” I said. “Have sweet dreams.”
I backed up and Atilla stepped out of the room, pulling the door partially shut. Then he took my hand and led me to his bedroom. Closing the door behind us, he motioned to the bed.
“Have a seat. Unless you want to get comfortable first?”
“I didn’t really plan for a sleepover. And don’t you have other people in your house?”
“When you weren’t looking, Meredith and Lynx slipped out with the twins. Finn and Amelia took to Meredith right away. They should be fine.”
I looked around the room. “That still doesn’t change the fact I hadn’t planned to stay over.”
“You can sleep in one of my shirts. Do you want to shower?” He rummaged in his dresser and tossed a blue shirt to me. I caught it, admiring how soft it felt.
“What are we doing, Atilla?” I asked.
“Nothing. Talking.” He ran a hand over his beard. “Hell, I don’t know, Solena. I haven’t had a relationship since Casey’s mom. And certainly not with someone so much younger than me. I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing.”
“Do you even want me to stay?” I asked.
“Yeah, I think I do. The last day or two has been…”
I knew what he was trying to say. His daughter had a baby. He helped me shop for things for Santiago, and it felt like we’d taken a step in the right direction. Now he had a little girl who insisted he was her father. Maybe there was too much going on. Should I take a step back and give him space? I had my own issues to deal with, like a son who clearly didn’t like me.
“I should go home,” I said.
“I want you to stay,” he said, his voice lower than usual. “I have no idea what the future looks like. Not for me, you, Casey… I’ve never felt so uncertain about anything in my entire life, and it scares the hell out of me, Lena.”
Lena? I smiled a little. Did he even realize he’d just give me a nickname? I liked it. No one had ever called me that before.
“Atilla, no one knows what tomorrow will bring. We aren’t guaranteed anything in life. The best we can do is take a leap of faith, decide if we can trust each other, and see where things go. I’m not asking you for a ring and forever. I just want the chance to see if we can make a relationship work.” I dropped my tote bag on the floor and sighed. “Santiago hates me, but he likes Nora. And that little girl doesn’t want to leave your side.”
“What are you getting at?” he asked.
“I have a proposal for you. Not the marriage kind.” He motioned for me to continue. “You said the tiny homes across the street were already under construction and you intended to offer one to me, right?”
“Yeah. Shouldn’t take more than a week or two. Depends on the electrical, plumbing, and getting it through the city’s inspection process.”
“Would it be okay for me and Santiago to stay here until it’s finished? Or at least stay a few nights? I don’t want to separate him from Nora. I think it will also be easier to get to know him if he’s comfortable, and he clearly feels safe here.”
“I don’t have a problem with that. You’ll need to get some of your things. We can grab them in the morning.”
“Thank you, Atilla. I know it was a big ask.” I moved closer and put my arms around him, hugging him tight. The moment he hugged me back, I melted into him. He really did give great hugs.
“Go change for bed. I’ll let Casey know you’ll be here for a few days.” He kissed the top of my head before leaving the bedroom.
I had a few days to get to know my son better and find out whether or not there was really something between me and Atilla. I hoped this didn’t blow up in my face.