Solena
I hugged the toilet as I threw up what little I’d managed to eat for breakfast. This was the third morning in a row. Since the feeling always passed after lunch, I was almost certain I was pregnant. I didn’t know how Atilla would take the news. It had been a little over three weeks since I’d moved in, and roughly a month since our first night together.
It hadn’t happened in front of Atilla yet, so I’d been able to keep this secret. I didn’t want to say anything until I knew for certain. Now that I lived with him, and we had two kids to take care of, he’d convinced me to quit my job at the diner. Which meant I was here all day, every day, except for taking the kids to and from school. They’d only started at the elementary school last week.
Both children were seeing a therapist. Nora seemed to open up more and didn’t cling to Atilla quite so much. Santiago was actually speaking to me and would often give me a hug or hold my hand. They both had a way to go, but at least they’d improved a lot since coming home.
Someone knocked on the front door and I groaned, dreading the idea of getting up and walking that far. I stood and splashed some water on my face, then rinsed out my mouth. I really needed to brush my teeth, but whoever it was had already knocked twice more. If I didn’t answer, someone would tell Atilla something was wrong at home, and he’d rush over here.
“I’m coming,” I yelled out.
“I hope not,” Casey yelled back. “That’s TMI.”
I snickered and opened the front door. She had little Becca in her carrier, and a plastic sack from the pharmacy in her other hand.
“Come on in. I need to go brush my teeth.”
“You might want to change your shirt too,” Casey said. “You have a little something on the front.”
I looked down and winced. It looked like I hadn’t managed to get everything into the toilet after all. After I’d cleaned up, I found Casey in the living room. She tossed the sack to me, and I opened it, shaking my head when I saw the two boxes of pregnancy tests inside.
“I didn’t know which one you’d prefer, so I got both brands. They’re early response tests. I used them when I thought I was pregnant. They were positive and were clearly accurate since Becca is right here in front of us.”
“Does anyone else know?” I asked.
“If you mean my dad, then no. Do you really think you’d be alone right now if he did? He’d have already taken you to the doctor, restricted your movements, and had someone watching you every second of the day for fear something bad might happen.” She smiled sadly. “My mom died when she was still pregnant with me. They cut me out of her stomach after the accident.”
When she put it that way, it made sense that Atilla would be overprotective if I was pregnant. He’d already bought me the top-of-the-line SUV with all the best safety ratings, so I’d have a reliable car for toting the kids around. He’d kept his as well, even though I didn’t know why we needed two of them.
I carried the tests to the bathroom and used one stick from each box. Even though the instructions said it was better to take them first thing in the morning, I didn’t want to wait. If they both said negative, then I’d use the other sticks in the morning when I first woke up. And if they were positive…
I capped the sticks and set them on the counter, washed my hands, and set a timer. I paced the bathroom while I waited, glancing at the tests every fifteen seconds. One had a digital display, and the other would have colored lines. Two meant pregnant. I squinted as one line formed. Did that mean it was probably negative?
The timer went off and I checked the digital one first. Pregnant. My breath caught in my lungs as I stared at that word. Glancing at the other test, I saw the second line had formed. Holy crap!
In a daze, I went back to the living room and sat down, pressing a hand to my belly. Casey reached over and patted my leg.
“If it’s any consolation, I think Dad will be thrilled. He missed out on raising me as a baby. Both your kids are already seven and eight. The two of you are going to be great parents for this little one.” Casey smiled. “When are you going to tell him?”
“I don’t know. We promised the kids pizza after school today. Maybe once they’re in bed?”
She nodded. “Good idea. I’m not sure how they’ll take the news. They only gained a family three weeks ago. Everything is still so new for them, they may feel threatened by a baby.”
“What do we do?” Panic welled inside me. I couldn’t lose Santiago and Nora. What if they pulled away? What if Casey was right, and they hated the fact I was having a baby?
“First, I’m going to call my dad. I don’t think you need to wait. Talk to him now so the two of you can figure this out together. Second, I’ll pick the kids up from school.”
I shook my head. “No, Casey. You’re still exhausted from getting up all night with Becca. I can’t ask you to do that.”
“Then let one of the guys use your SUV. I’ll ask Maui to pick up the kids and drop them at my house. They can have pizza there.”
“Are you sure?” I asked.
“Positive. Now, sit tight. I’ll go back home and call Dad and Maui.”
“Thanks, Casey.”
She leaned in to hug me before standing and picking up Becca’s carrier. Casey left, and I stared into space. I didn’t know how Atilla would react. We hadn’t discussed having more children. He’d used a condom that first time, but since then he hadn’t always remembered one. He hadn’t gotten me pregnant on purpose, had he? No. That didn’t seem like something he’d do. Things had been so hectic we hadn’t really sat down to discuss the possibility of having a larger family. Neither of us had brought it up.
The front door opened, and Atilla hurried inside, kneeling in front of me. “Casey said you needed me. Is everything all right? Are you hurt?”
I reached out to cup his cheek. “I’m fine, just… rattled.”
“What happened, Lena?”
“Bathroom. Go look on the counter.” I couldn’t say the words I’m pregnant. My brain was still processing it.
“Holy shit!” I would have laughed under other circumstances. I heard his boots bang against the floor as he rushed back to the living room. “You’re pregnant?”
I nodded. I couldn’t bring myself to look at him. Was he excited? Angry? My heart raced and my hands trembled. Atilla sat beside me, pulling me into his arms.
“I’m so fucking happy right now,” he said.
“Really?” I looked up and saw the big smile on his face.
“Of course. Although, I think four kids is my limit. I’m going to go get snipped before this one is born.”
“I wasn’t sure how you’d react,” I admitted. “Since we didn’t always use protection, I briefly wondered if you’d done it on purpose. But seeing how shocked you were, I guess not.”
“If this had happened a month ago, my reaction would have been different. I was still trying to keep my distance from you. If I’d found out our first night together had resulted in a baby, I’d have been equal parts pissed and scared. Right now, I’m just excited that we get to raise this one together. And no, I didn’t do it on purpose. Can’t say I’m sorry it happened, though.”
“What about the kids?” I asked. “Casey said they might feel threatened.”
He nodded. “It’s true. They could think we’re trying to replace them. I’ll talk to the therapist before their next session. For now, I think we should keep this to ourselves. Since you said Casey was worried about the kids, I’m going to assume that means she already knows.”
“She’s the one who gave me the tests.”
“I’ll ask her not to tell anyone. After the children know, then we can share the news with everyone else.”
I leaned into him. “Casey said she’d have Maui get the kids today and drop them at her place for pizza. So we have a little time together, unless you need to get back to work?”
“You have my undivided attention for the rest of the day,” he said. “We can do whatever you want.”
“Binge watch TV?” I asked.
“Which show?”
“Supernatural? I think it’s still on Netflix.”
He nodded and released me, standing up to get the remote. He tossed it onto the couch. “Go ahead and load it. I’m going to get you some crackers and ginger ale.”
“How did you know I have morning sickness?”
I wiped a hand over my shirt. I hadn’t thrown up again, so how had he known? Oh, no! Was my breath still stinky? Part of me dreaded his answer. What had I missed?
“Just a hunch. Unless you’d noticed your missed period, I couldn’t think of another reason you’d take those tests.”
Huh. I hadn’t even thought about my period. Then again, it was never regular. Some months I’d have one three weeks apart. Other times, I could go six to eight weeks without one. It had been that way all my life.
I picked up the remote and found the show, starting at season one episode one, and pressed play when Atilla came back into the room. He handed me the glass of soda and the package of crackers, then toed off his boots and sat down, putting his feet up on the table. I curled into his side and nibbled on the crackers. They really did help.
Since the kids were eating after school, I knew they wouldn’t want a big meal for dinner. I’d make some snacks for them later. Maybe grilled cheese sandwiches. Bile rose in my throat at the thought of making them, and I wondered if I could convince Atilla to cook if my stomach was still iffy by then. It hadn’t been so far, but I knew that could change.
Atilla laced our fingers together. I knew he didn’t particularly love this show, but I did… so he watched it with me. Until him, I’d never known a man could be so supportive or loving. He may not have ever said the words I love you, but he showed me how much he cared every single day. It was enough. Maybe for some women it wouldn’t be. I knew people would say I was settling. They didn’t realize how amazing Atilla was.
At night, when he thought I was asleep, he’d kiss my forehead and I’d hear him whisper to me: thank you for being mine. I didn’t know why he couldn’t say the words when I was awake. I hadn’t exactly confessed my feelings for him either. Could he be waiting for me to make the first move? He’d lost Casey’s mom. I knew he still had emotional scars from it. Anyone would.
At the risk of scaring him off, I knew I needed to tell him how I felt. It never seemed like the right time. What I knew for certain was that I’d regret not telling him if I lost my chance. If he left the house tomorrow and didn’t come home, I’d wish I’d spoken up sooner.
“Atilla…”
“What is it, Lena? Feeling sick?”
“No. There’s something I need to tell you.” I shifted so I could see his face clearly. “I know we’ve only been together officially for three weeks, but it feels like I’ve known you much longer. Being with you makes me so incredibly happy.”
“You make me happy too,” he said.
“I love you. You don’t have to say it back! But I felt like you needed to know.”
He leaned in closer and softly brushed his lips against mine. “I love you too, Lena. There’s no one more perfect for me. You came into my life, tearing down the walls I’d built around my heart, and before I realized it, you meant the world to me. I can’t imagine living without you.”
Tears slipped down my cheeks. I never thought I’d hear him say something like that. I threw my arms around him, hugging him tight.
I went from being alone to having this wonderful man by my side, and children I adored. While I didn’t consider Casey my daughter because we were so close in age, I did think of her as a friend.
“Let’s watch more of your show while the house is still quiet,” he said. “Then you can visit with the kids, and I’ll make dinner later.”
“I was thinking about grilled cheese sandwiches since they’re eating pizza right now.”
He nodded. “Sounds good. And if you can’t eat that, you let me know. Whatever you want, I’ll get it for you.”
I kissed him. “I’ll hold you to that.”
I cuddled against him again and we watched another episode of my show. He was right about one thing. The house was quiet. We were alone. How often would that happen, especially as our family grew? My nausea hadn’t come back, and I thought it was gone until tomorrow.
“You’re thinking awfully hard,” he murmured. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. I wondered if we should take advantage of having the house to ourselves,” I said.
He shifted to face me. “Are you saying you want to head to the bedroom?”
“Well, I’m not exactly eager to have sex on the couch where our kids will sit to watch TV. Unless you plan to throw a blanket over it.”
“I thought you weren’t feeling well.”
“I wasn’t. I’m fine now, though.” I ran my finger down the center of his chest. “We have at least another hour or two before the kids come back.”
“All right.” He stood and helped me off the couch. Before I could take a single step, he swung me up into his arms and carried me to our bedroom. I loved when he did things like this. I smiled, feeling like a princess in a fairy tale.
Atilla eased me down onto the bed and slowly undressed me. Once I lay bare, he quickly stripped out of his clothes and leaned over me. He stared at me with such hunger it made me shiver. I’d never had anyone look at me the way he did.
“You’re so incredibly beautiful,” he murmured. “And mine. Every single inch of you belongs to me. Isn’t that right?”
I didn’t know what brought on this caveman act, but I liked it. I nodded my head, but it seemed he didn’t accept my answer.
“Out loud, Lena. Tell me you’re mine.”
“I’m yours, Atilla. Only yours.” I swallowed hard. “You’re the only one I’ve ever belonged to.”
“Damn right.” He leaned in to kiss me, devouring my lips with his. When he drew back, he slid his hands down my thighs to my knees, then spread me open. Dropping to his knees beside the bed, he gently blew on my pussy.
“Atilla, I…”
“Hush.” He tapped my pussy. “This is mine, right? Then let me enjoy it.”
My heart raced in my chest. I wasn’t sure what he got out of this, but I knew I would certainly be happy. He rubbed my clit and I felt pleasure start to hum inside me. He made me come twice before he put his mouth on me, his tongue lashing my clit before slipping inside me.
I fisted the bedding and fought for control. It felt so amazing I wanted to clamp my thighs around his head and hold him in place. He eased two fingers inside me, pumping them in and out. The next stroke across my clit had me screaming his name as my back arched off the bed. My legs trembled and I couldn’t catch my breath.
“Please, Atilla. I need you inside me.”
He rose to his feet and flipped me onto my stomach. I got onto my hands and knees as I felt the bed dip from his weight. He gripped my hips and tugged me back toward him. Thrusting against me, he slid his cock along the lips of my pussy, teasing me even more.
“You sure this is what you want?” he asked.
“Yes! Please… I need it.”
“It? So any cock will do?” he asked.
“No.” I groaned. “Just yours.”
“Good answer.” He pressed a kiss to the center of my back, then he slowly pushed inside me. His cock stretched me in the most delicious way. The way his shaft slid against my inner walls made me want to beg for more. He shifted his angle and hit just the right spot. With every stroke, I got closer to orgasm.
“Yes! There, right there.” He hit the spot over and over, and I felt the gush of my release as I came.
Atilla tightened his hold on my hips and drove into me, taking me fast and hard. It didn’t take long before I felt the heat of his cum filling me. He pressed against me, his cock jerking inside me.
“You’re going to kill me with sex one day,” he said. “But it will be one hell of a way to go.”
“Don’t even joke about dying.” I glared at him over my shoulder. “You said I’m yours, but you’re also mine… and I don’t give you permission to leave this world anytime soon.”
He smirked. “Yes, ma’am.”
Oh, God. That did odd things to me. It felt like butterflies rioted in my stomach, and I knew I’d never love anyone as much as I loved him.
He pulled out and helped me stand. We took a shower together, and got dressed, then managed to watch another episode of my show before the kids came home. I helped Nora with her homework, while Atilla took Santiago outside to throw the ball. Our son liked baseball over the other sports so far, and we’d talked about finding him a team to join. We both thought it would be good for him.
I hoped we had many more nights like this one. We’d all found what was missing in our lives -- family.