CHAPTER 36
Once Tamsin had come back to Number Nineteen, wearing her new bracelet—“It only cost fifteen dollars! They’re like fifty dollars in Boston!”—Gincy got in her car and drove to Appleville Park. It was as gray and bleak and sad looking as it had been a few days earlier, but for a reason Gincy couldn’t name, she felt the need to be there. Maybe it was the happy memories of the splashing fountain or the thought of how lovely the park would look covered in a blanket of snow. She took a seat on the same bench where she had called Danielle and pressed the button for Rick’s cell.
“You know what?” she said when Rick answered.
“What?”
“I’m an idiot.”
“Now, Gincy,” Rick said, “not all of the time.”
“Rick! I mean it. I’m an idiot. But I’ve had a revelation. All these years I’ve been so unfair to my mother, punishing her because, I don’t know, because she’s not me. What’s so great about me that my mother should want to be my double?”
“A lot is great about you, Gincy,” Rick said, “but I hear what you’re saying.”
“Why haven’t I been able to accept her for who she is? Well, there are probably a thousand reasons, but it stops now. I swear I’m going to try seriously hard to stop judging and complaining about her and just—accept.”
“It won’t be easy, you know,” Rick said. “The habits of a lifetime are hard to break, and your mother can be difficult.”
“I know,” Gincy admitted. “I’ll probably fail miserably at first, but I’ll keep at it and eventually I’ll get it right.”
“There’s the spirit.”
“Do you know what Mom said to the doctor this morning? She’s fine, by the way, possibly a bit anemic. She told him I had made a real success of my life. I swear I almost had a heart attack. I certainly never knew my mother to brag about me!”
“You haven’t been drugging her food, slipping happy pills into her afternoon tea?”
Gincy laughed. “Would that it were so simple.”
“And not that you would ever do such a thing.”
“Of course not,” Gincy said. “I don’t think that I would. Anyway, the problem is that I don’t know what to do. Do I tell her I’m sorry for being a jerk? Will she even know what I mean? Will she pretend not to understand, just to punish me? Should I say nothing and just go ahead with my plan of acceptance? Help me out here, Rick.”
“I wish I could, Gincy,” her husband said, “but I’m not sure I know the answer to that. What I do know is that you shouldn’t expect any big change on your mother’s part just because you feel a change of heart or perspective. You’ll just be letting yourself in for disappointment. Remember what I said a few minutes ago. She can be difficult.”
“And so,” Gincy said, “can I.”
“Only sometimes. Hey, speaking of difficult, any word from your brother?”
“No, but Mom insists there’s nothing to worry about.”
“She probably knows best where Tommy’s concerned. Try not to get yourself worked up.”
“Me? Worked up.” Gincy laughed. “Never. Still, I wish he’d come home. I’m trying to change my way of thinking about Tommy, too. Well, I guess you’ve picked up on that.”
“I have,” Rick said. “And I think you’ll have an easier time of things with your brother than with your mother. But hang in there, Gincy. You’ve got backup in me and your children and your friends.”
“Thanks, Rick. I’d better get back to the house. Are you—”
“Yes, Gincy,” Rick said. “I’ve been watering the tree.”
Gincy laughed again. “Good. Because as Dad used to say, you can never be too careful.”