How I Learned to Cook
Cooking was never my mom’s forte. She had other ambitions. She was smart, definitely a feminist of her time. She wanted to study law and become a lawyer, but she married young and got pregnant with me, then my brothers.
Her role at our house was supervisory—she was the one taking care of her parents, making sure the kids were all at home on time. It was my grandmother whose life revolved around cooking. That was what fulfilled her. In the early days, I used to sit in the kitchen and watch her cook. She would give me small jobs like cleaning the cilantro or picking out the stones from the lentils, or I would just observe.
But when I came to America, I didn’t have much of a base as far as cooking went. I could make roti very easily because that was something I did at home. I kind of knew how to make potatoes. I sort of bootstrapped myself into cooking. I watched shows with Julia Child, Jacques Pépin, Martin Yan, and I started experimenting. Dal was easy because I had watched my mother make it—it was basic. I tried dumplings, stir-fries, peanut sauce. Sometimes the dishes would turn out horribly. One time my husband, Shailendra’s, older brother came over and I made corn timbale. There was way too much salt, and they wasted no time telling me there was something wrong with it.
Every time Shailendra and I went to India, we would stop somewhere in Europe, and then, when we had Priya and Meera and I was working in the airline industry, we went on these bigger tours to different countries and we’d try the various dishes. I remember having briam in Greece, tagine in Morocco, caponata in Sicily. That all really influenced what I made.
What also influenced me was having Priya and Meera tell me that they didn’t want to eat Indian food every single day (even though their dad would eat Indian food literally every single day if he could . . . along with pizza and spaghetti). So I would come up with these non-Indian dishes where I could still use Indian ingredients, such as spicy noodles or Mexican food. I remember that Priya was honestly the most demanding consumer of my food. I was constantly brainstorming: What else can I make? I still enjoy experimenting, though now that Meera and Priya are out of the house and it’s just me and my husband, I do it much less.
Cooking brings together so many of the things that I enjoy. First is eating well—nutritious food that tastes good and looks good. Second is being adventurous—doing something different. I love trying new fruits and vegetables, and visiting grocery stores when we travel to a new country. All of my interests—wine, entertaining, nice pottery—really exist around cooking.
When I come home from work, where I am managing people and technology, cooking is a way to get my brain to relax. I can forget about all of that and just be creative. Whenever I put together a dinner party, people tell me my food looks like a painting, with all the different colors. It’s like creating art! If I didn’t have food, I don’t know what I would do. I will probably cook for the rest of my life.
