On Saturday morning Vân Ước woke with a niggle. Groan. Monday was casual clothes day, which definitely warranted an after-breakfast, before-homework free writing whinge. Topic: money, and lack thereof.
Well, clothes. The embarrassment of looking wrong on casual clothes day. Always a headache.
My school uniform has always been bought secondhand. I have worn every uniform garment I’ve ever had through the cycle of too big, fits, too small.
Even though I’m a member of orchestra, I’m careful to be the second-best oboist, not the best; my parents won’t ever be able to afford the orchestra trip to Europe.
I can’t afford coffee after school, except occasionally. I can’t afford taxis home after parties. I can’t afford the sort of clothes and shoes people wear to parties. I can’t afford the presents or alcohol people bring to parties.
Schoolbook lists are a big headache every year. Money is put aside in advance, but it’s never enough to stop my parents looking worried. Lots of time trying to find secondhand books. The looming terror of big-ticket items like the laptop, the graphing calculator.
Feet that grow are a big headache.
Conversation about holidays is awkward. I’ve never been on an official holiday. It’s like my parents don’t know about the holiday concept. Never even been on an airplane.
I dread being asked, “What did you do over the holidays?”
Special gear for any camp is its own nightmare. The stress of the Mount Fairweather equipment list ruined my life for about six months. What even were some of these things? Gaiters? Headlamp? What could safely be got secondhand? Did I really need the number of multiple items listed? (Yes.) Would my existing knickers and PJs stand public scrutiny? (No.)
I never want to be asked to anyone’s house, because I don’t want to ask them back here. My parents wouldn’t understand or allow that kind of socializing, and I can’t even imagine the weird someone might feel when they check out the gap between their natural habitat and mine.
The money from part-time work pays for my (unsmart) phone, public transport, all photography/camera costs not covered by school, all nonuniform clothes and stuff like pool visits and occasional movies during summer holidays.
I don’t sign up for any activities that involve parents and transport. I hear about carloads of people getting carted around to debating and weekend sports, but it’s never going to include me.
I don’t have birthday parties. I don’t get invited to birthday parties. I don’t mention my birthday in general. I’ve never had my locker decorated on my birthday at Crowthorne Grammar.
I can’t even hang out at the tram stop because walking is cheaper than tramming. Just as well I like walking.
MECCA or MAC free makeovers are only free if you buy some makeup, so that only seems “free” to someone with spare money, i.e., someone who doesn’t need a free makeover.
Select All. Delete.