Hockey fans typically experience severe withdrawal after the end of the NHL season. But this year, rather than sitting around all summer waiting on the occasional trade news and counting down the days to training camp, why not try something new?
For example, hockey and soccer are at least somewhat similar. Both are popular around the world, both involve trying to score into an opponent's net, and both combine the brilliance of individual stars with the strategy of intricate team systems.
But while hockey fans would no doubt appreciate the spectacle of the world's most popular sport, many don't understand it. Despite the similarities between the two sports there are also several differences, many of which are subtle and could prove confusing for novice fans.
That's why I put a call out to my various international bureaus, and we put together this guide to help hockey fans follow the “beautiful game.”
Soccer: If you see a guy wearing flamboyant clothing who is struggling to communicate with you in English, he is likely a die-hard fan who has traveled from an exotic foreign land to attend the game.
Hockey: If you see a guy wearing flamboyant clothing who is struggling to communicate with you in English, he is likely Don Cherry.
Soccer: The sport is commonly called “football,” although Americans often refer to it as “soccer.”
Hockey: The sport is commonly called “hockey,” although Americans often refer to it as “something to watch if there's no baseball, football, basketball, golf, NASCAR, poker, MMA, fishing, or bowling on TV.”
Soccer: “Injury time” refers to the additional playing time added to the end of each half at the discretion of the referee.
Hockey: “Injury time” refers to lowering your head for a second when Raffi Torres is on the ice.
Soccer: Watching a game can be almost unbearable thanks to the vuvuzela, a South African noise-making horn that produces a horribly annoying noise that drones on nonstop for the entire game, leaving you fighting the urge to hurl the remote through your TV screen.
Hockey: Pierre McGuire.
Soccer: The games can start as early as 7:30 a.m., due to differences in international time zones.
Hockey: The games can start as early as 7:30 a.m., due to NBC not wanting to preempt any important infomercials or horse racing pre-game shows later that afternoon.
Soccer: In 1986, the “hand of God” sent Argentina into the World Cup semifinals at Mexico City.
Hockey: In 1993, the “hand of God” sent Marty McSorley's eyeball into the fifteenth row at Maple Leaf Gardens.
Soccer: A player will occasionally be granted a “penalty kick,” presenting him with so much open net to shoot at that he's virtually guaranteed to score as long as he doesn't miss the net or hit the post.
Hockey: The equivalent is known as “shooting against Roberto Luongo in the playoffs.”
Soccer: In an embarrassing display that any self-respecting sports fan would feel nauseated by, players will often react to even the slightest contact by pretending to be injured while rolling around pathetically on the grass.
Hockey: Completely different. The game is played on ice instead of grass.
Soccer: Riot police must often use tear gas, armored vehicles, and water cannons to subdue reckless perpetrators of violence known as “hooligans.”
Hockey: Riot police must often use tear gas, armored vehicles, and water cannons to subdue reckless perpetrators of violence known as “the Boston Bruins.”
Soccer: If you notice a player wearing a different jersey than his teammates, it's because he is the goalie.
Hockey: If you notice a player wearing a different jersey than his teammates, it's because he arrived five minutes late and his team had already done another jersey redesign.
Soccer: When a game is played under standard rules but won't have any actual impact on the final standings or eventual champion, it is known as a “friendly.”
Hockey: When a game is played under standard rules but won't have any actual impact on the final standings or eventual champion, it is known as a “Maple Leafs regular season game after mid-November.”