Jane stood in the bathroom for a few minutes after Dom left, breathing deeply and trying to calm her raging heartbeat. Damn but the man could kiss. She had to brace her hands on the sink just to keep upright, her legs were trembling so much.
She hadn’t let a man get that close to her in…oh years now. But she didn’t pretend that was why she’d reacted so strongly. All it had taken was one little brush of his lips and she’d been ready to climb on top of him and ride him till morning.
She squeezed her eyes shut and cursed under her breath. Then she opened her eyes, blinked at the white tiled wall, and straightened her shoulders. She had to get dinner ready. She’d worry about Dom later.
After taking another moment to splash cold water on her face, she made her way back to the living room.
“Did he finally kiss you?” Ben asked without turning away from the game he was playing on his tablet.
Which was probably good because heat flooded Jane’s face and her mouth actually dropped open.
“What did you just say?” she asked very slowly.
“Did he kiss you? I told him he should.”
“What? Why?”
“You want him to. Did he?”
She stared at the back of her son’s head, trying to figure out what to say to that. She worked hard not to lie to Ben—at least not outright. Ben took things very literally, and she had to be careful with what she said and didn’t say. But while she might not outright lie, she did keep things to herself. And she’d been positive she’d kept her feelings for Dom to herself.
She’d been very very wrong.
“What do you know about kissing?” she asked, stalling.
“I’ve kissed Emma.”
“You did?” That was news. And a perfect distraction. “When did this happen?” It probably wasn’t good for a mother to be so pleased to hear her son had kissed a girl, but with Ben, every show of typical, age-appropriate behavior made her happy. Him having a girlfriend he’d actually kissed was like a little bit of Christmas, though she was pretty sure most people wouldn’t understand that point of view.
“She kissed me,” he said. “When we were done with exams and going home for the break.”
“Do you miss her?”
“Yeah.” He didn’t look up, but he dipped his head in a nod. “I like her.”
“I’m very glad to hear it.” She frowned a little. “Although, if you marry her, her name will be Emma Emmerson.”
Ben looked over the back of the couch at her, his chin lowered and his beautiful blue eyes very serious with that “teenager” look she’d grown to both love and hate over the last few years.
“Mom, I’m not getting married yet,” he said as if this was the most obvious thing in the world. “I’m only eighteen.”
She pressed her lips together so she wouldn’t laugh. “That’s probably a good idea. Wouldn’t want to rush things.”
He nodded and turned back to his tablet and the app he was testing, though not before she caught his eye roll.
She grinned, but kept her chuckle silent. The smile fell away when she recalled she’d already been pregnant at eighteen, given birth to Ben when she was only nineteen. Looking at Ben now, that seemed just so damned young. She’d thought she was old enough to make the decision. She’d seen it as a way out from under controlling parents. She’d thought she was in love.
Just one of many bad decisions she’d made over the years.
With a sigh, she shook off the old guilt and said, “What do you want for dinner?” She glanced down at the remaining mess of mug and tea on her floor and squatted down to scoop shards of porcelain carefully into the plastic trashcan with the dust pan.
“You never answered my question,” Ben said. “Did you finally kiss Dom?”
“First of all, that’s none of your business.” She banged the dust pan a little harder against the can than was necessary to remove a sticking chunk of broken mug. “You should not have said anything to him. Secondly, he’s too young for me—”
“He’s two years older than you.”
She sat back on her heals. “No, he’s not. He’s younger than Nick.”
“Nick’s older than you, too. He’s forty-three.”
“What? No.” That wasn’t possible. She’d been certain that gorgeous young man was…well, young. “How do you know how old he is?”
“I asked.”
“What? Why?” She was saying that a lot this evening. She pushed her hair off her forehead before sopping up the tea with a wad of paper towels, careful of the tiny slivers of broken pottery still on the floor.
“I like to know people’s ages.” He waved a hand in the air. “It’s a numbers thing. Nick is forty-three. Dom is thirty-nine. Their brother Mitch is thirty-four.” He glanced back at her. “You are older than him.” Back to his game. “Tiana is twenty-nine. Chrissy is five months old. Charlie is ninety-eight, but sometimes he tells me he’s a hundred and seven.” He frowned back at her. “I’m pretty sure he’s lying when he says that.”
“With Charlie, that’s probably a safe bet.”
Ben’s frown deepened, then he nodded, as if he’d translated her sentence. “He exaggerates a lot.”
“Yes, he does.” She dumped the wet towels into the trashcan. “Do you know how old everyone in town is?”
“Yes.” He went back to his game. “Can we have chicken fingers and potatoes for dinner?”
“Sure.” She was still reeling from the fact that her son had learned everyone’s ages. Not that he had the ages memorized—that seemed exactly the kind of thing he’d do—but that he’d asked people…
“You never cease to amaze me, you know that?” she said to him.
“I know. Are you and Dom going to get married now that you know he’s not too young for you?”
“No.” She finished cleaning the floor, gathered the can, towels and dust pan, and stood. “I’ll go make your chicken.”
She hurried to the kitchen before Ben started asking about her and Dom kissing again, because if he did and he just happened to look at her, even Ben would notice her blush.
She put away the things she’d used to clean up the spill and turned on the oven to preheat. She should call Grace later, after Ben went to bed. She really needed to talk to a friend right now, and Grace had a history with men as disastrous as Jane’s. She’d understand. Grace might even be able to talk some sense into Jane’s fool head, which was full of impossible hopes.
The fact that Jane’s view of both Nick and Dom had just been upended didn’t help her balance at all. Things she’d assumed to be true had just been a story she’d told herself. An excuse. With Dom, she needed any excuse she could get, and him being too young for her was a great one.
Now the thin threads of her resistance were fraying. She wanted him something awful and that kiss had only made matters worse. She could taste him now, feel him, knew exactly in perfect, painfully sensual detail what his body felt like pressed against hers. She could recall all of that way too easily, and she had a feeling those recollection wouldn’t go away any time soon.
Sonofabitch. How the hell was she gonna get out of this without yet another major disaster?
*****
Dom sat on the porch in the dark, long after Tiana and Chrissy had fallen asleep, waiting for Nick to join him. Nick had gone to the diner that evening to sort through some paperwork and get things ready for the next morning. They hadn’t had a chance to talk about the wolves yet, which was just as well. Dom didn’t want to worry Tiana. She had bigger—or rather smaller—things to worry about.
But this was Nick’s territory. If there was trouble brewing, Dom wanted to help.
Besides, it kept his mind off Jane. And that kiss. The utter perfection of a kiss that was going to keep him restless and edgy for days. There was no going back now. No pretending to just chat casually with her, ignoring the desire they both felt. No way to go on without kissing her again.
He just didn’t know how to get past her resistance.
He leaned back in the all-weather wooden seat and braced his booted feet up on the railing around the porch, letting the cold seep into his bones, taking in the scents and sounds of the night, pine and freshly fallen snow, the distant screech of an owl, the occasional car rolling down Main Street. The night sky had a faint glow, cloud cover reflecting light back from the snow, giving the darkness its own kind of soft lighting. Dom loved the way the night looked here, especially on nights like this. It reminded him of the good days when he was a kid, living in Montana, when his mother was happy and the haunted look in his father’s eyes wasn’t so obvious. When it had been Nick and him running free over the open country, stalking through the trees and pretending to be explorers.
As he heard Nick approaching on foot, he wondered if his big brother ever thought of those days, the good days before their mother’s suicide and their father’s mental break. Nick had had to grow up fast after that, taking care of Dom and baby Mitch. It was only now, as a grown man looking back, that Dom recognized how hard that must have been on Nick who’d only been nine years old at the time. Dom had always been grateful Mitch had been a baby, too young to remember those first few years of turmoil.
He shook off the moodiness and nodded in greeting as Nick took the steps to the porch silently, settling into another chair next to Dom.
“Been waiting long?” Nick asked.
“A bit. I wanted to give Tiana and Chrissy plenty of quiet to sleep. While they can.”
Nick snorted. “Everyone keeps promising me Chrissy will start sleeping through the night soon. I’m starting to doubt it.”
Dom chuckled. “How’s the diner?”
“Still in the black. How was your visit with Jane and Ben?”
“Ben’s good.”
“And Jane?”
“Not going to talk about it.”
Nick kept his gaze on the trees surrounding the front of his house as he said, “Something finally happen between you and Jane, huh?”
“Not talking about it.”
Nick nodded. “She’s stubborn. You’ve got your hands full there.”
“So the wolves…” Dom did not want to discuss his feelings for Nick’s head waitress. “I’m assuming the female wolf was the owner of the boutique, Walsh’s sister?”
“Siobhan, yeah, she’s there most days so it’s a good bet. She’s a smart business woman.”
“Shop looks like it’s doing well. Any idea what the argument was about?”
“I sent a message to Adam, checking in. His alpha has his hands full.”
“Gonna cause you trouble?”
“Not if they want to keep their sister’s store open in my territory.”
“What’s happening?” Dom had a feeling Nick was keeping a lot of the wolf conflict to himself so Tiana wouldn’t worry. He couldn’t blame his brother for that, not when Tiana was looking after such a precious new life.
Nick glanced back at the house, silent for a few moments. Finally, he faced Dom. “The usual infighting seems to have gotten a little nasty over the last month or so, according to Adam. Even though he fully supports his brother as alpha, it seems some of the pack are trying to pit Adam against Gabriel, pushing for Adam to take over.”
“Why?”
“Adam won’t explain it, but I get the feeling it has to do with some of the wolves who didn’t mind that last, incompetent alpha they had.”
“The one you fought with?”
“Yeah. He encouraged a lot more violence. He was a thug and the wolves who liked that kind of vicious rush don’t like the rules Gabriel is setting down now.”
“They think the beta will be any different? I got the impression he wanted stability as much as his brother.”
“He does. But if he’s forced into a fight with his brother for alpha position, it’ll have to be a fight to the death.”
“Are the brothers close?” Dom held Nick’s gaze, thinking of their relationship, the tight bond he had with both of his brothers. He’d kill for them, and die for them, without giving it much thought. He couldn’t imagine being forced into a death fight with one of them.
“They’re close,” Nick confirmed.
“How could they be forced into a fight then? Can’t the beta just refuse?”
Nick shrugged. “Don’t know entirely. Again, Adam won’t get into that much detail about the inner workings of the pack.”
“Can’t blame him for that,” Dom commented.
“Yeah. But the infighting spilling into Eirene is a deal-breaker for me. I made that clear tonight. So we’ll see what happens.”
“You need help, let me know.”
Nick smiled. “Thanks.” He patted Dom on the shoulder, then faced the surrounding forest again. “You sure you don’t want to talk about Jane.”
“Positive.”
“I like her. She’s a good woman.”
“She is.”
“Elizaveta would approve.”
“I am not looking for our grandmother’s approval.”
But a part of him was pleased to hear that. Elizaveta could be a pain in the ass, which was sort of her job as an elder, but she’d always been an excellent grandmother. The fact that Dom had fallen for a human—not a hybrid who could give him kids like Mitch’s fiancée, or a full tiger female like Nick’s wife, but a human woman who he’d never have biological kids with… Well, most male tigers had to face that kind of a future. There were just too damned few tiger females. Dom had still worried, though, that Elizaveta would think he’d settled for a human. If she thought he was settling, she’d be difficult about it all and make things tough for Jane. That was, if Jane ever decided to give Dom a real chance…
At the idea of Jane facing off against Elizaveta, though, Dom smiled. Jane would be well able to stand up to his grandmother.
“I’ll repeat, you’ve got your work cut out for you with Jane,” Nick said into the extended silence. “She’s got baggage she won’t let go of easily.”
“Everyone’s got baggage,” Dom said.
Nick snorted in agreement.
“Don’t worry about me and Jane. It’ll happen or it won’t.”
“It’s the ‘won’t’ I’m worried about. Tired of seeing you mope around like a lovesick teenager.”
“Look who’s talking, Mr. I’m-too-much-like-Dad-to-have-a-mate. Tiana shot that argument all to hell, didn’t she?”
“Don’t start or I will kick your ass for the fun of it.”
“You wish.”
“You want a beer?”
“Sure. When are Mitch and Nila arriving?”
“Day after tomorrow.”
“It’ll be good having everyone in one place again.”
“Certainly will.” Nick rose. “Be right back with that beer.”
Dom smiled as the door clicked closed quietly behind Nick. He’d missed his brothers.
*****
“Jane!” Grace answered the phone immediately, her voice bright and happy.
Jane smiled despite her glum mood. She leaned back into her couch, speaking quietly because Ben had only gone up to bed a few minutes ago. “I kissed him.”
“Your boss’ hot, sexy younger brother?”
“That’s the one. Although it turns out he’s older than I am.”
“Really? So that means that sexy hunk Nick is older than you, too?”
“He is. Ben knew all along.”
Grace chuckled. “Well there goes the ‘too young for me’ excuse.”
“Yeah.” Jane groaned.
“Good kiss?”
“Unfortunately.”
“Guess now you’re done-for.”
“That’s not what I wanted to hear.”
“Sweetie.”
There was so much sympathy in that single word, Jane almost teared up. “I’m not sure what to do.”
“I know I haven’t meet this man, but I like his brother a lot. Your boss is a good man. Isn’t it just a tiny bit possible Dom is a good man, too?”
God, she wanted to believe that. Too much. And that was the problem. “You’re one to talk. You and your sister couldn’t be any different if you tried.”
“I’m hardly the best example. And just because I have a bitchy, judgmental relative, doesn’t mean all siblings turn out to be opposites. You’ve even said Dom is a lot like your boss.”
“Except I’m not attracted to Nick. The fact that I’m attracted to Dom means there’s a flaw in him somewhere, and I’m going to get hurt.”
“You don’t know that. You’re not destined to keep repeating past mistakes. That’s fear talking.”
“You sound like your therapist.”
Grace laughed. “I’ve been seeing her so long, I probably should have a psychology degree by now. You’re still letting fear get the best of you.”
“Damn straight. I can’t help it, Grace. I’ve never once made a good choice in men. Not one single damned time in my whole life.”
“But you’ve grown a lot in the last eight years. You’re stronger than you were when we first met. You’re not looking for someone to rescue you anymore.”
“I was never…” But she cut herself off as Grace’s words sank in. Ben’s father had filled that role in a way, rescuing her from a stifling family life. But the others… She sighed. “Okay, say you’re right about me looking for someone to save me. What makes you think anything is different?”
“Jane, you’ve saved yourself.” Grace spoke as if that should be obvious. “All these years, you’ve looked after yourself and Ben, made a good life for both of you, all without any man to take care of you. You’re the one who rescues people now.”
Grace didn’t say it out loud, but it hovered in the pointed silence between them, the reminder of the last time Grace had come to Eirene for a visit. Jane had had to tell Grace her newest boyfriend was hitting on every woman in town while Grace wasn’t looking. After Grace had kicked the asshole to the road, she’d stayed with Jane, and Jane had looked after her for a week, helping her get over yet another disaster with a man. Jane had simply seen that as payback for all the good things Grace had done for her. They both had terrible taste in men. Jane saw it as her role as best friend to help Grace through the mistakes. She was protective of the people she loved, that was all.
She shook off the thought. “I’m just who I am.”
“But who you are is enough. More than enough. You’re a lot stronger now, Jane. You need to consider the possibility that this time you aren’t making a mistake.”
“I can’t,” she said, her voice strained and quiet. “I can’t risk it. Not again.”
“What are you going to do, then?”
“I’ll have to tell him no more and be done with it.”
“Can you do that?”
“I have to.”
“Well, no matter what you do, you have my support. You know that.”
“Thank you.”
“You know, I was going to hide from my sister and her family in Austria for Christmas but I could change my plans. You want me to come to Eirene? I could check out this man, give you my unbiased opinion? Back you up?”
Jane smiled. With Grace’s support, she’d definitely be able to resist Dom. “When can you get here?”
“I’ll be there by the end of the week.”
They settled their plans and Jane hung up, feeling a little better than she had hours earlier. If she could just put that wall back up between her and Dom, she was sure everything would be okay. Grace would help her. This wouldn’t turn into another disaster.
But she went to sleep reliving Dom’s kiss, and the part of her she couldn’t trust kept reminding her how much she wanted to repeat that experience.