Tires hissed on rain-soaked streets. Silver moonlight reflected off the pavement. The walk home felt longer than usual, but the surroundings were painfully familiar… pale, washed-out milky skies, waterlogged buildings, and swampy fields. Beaches never warm enough or clean enough. The perpetual smell of wet dog hanging in the air. This was what my life had reverted back to.
I unlocked the double French doors and stepped inside. It felt wrong being in my home alone. I’d never been allowed to stay by myself. But Mom figured I was responsible enough and since Camilla was AWOL anyway, what was the harm? It helped that she was at County General now and would be home by Sunday, which was only a few days away.
The box Neil had sent over was lying open on the counter, and something inside it caught my attention. An envelope I’d missed before. Tearing it open I paused, gaping at the contents — an invitation to take part in the national final of the vocal competition. I’d forgotten all about the contest and my win… Our win. It seemed insignificant somehow in light of everything. Yet, I remembered how important it was to my mom, who for the sake of my safety had hidden away who she was to give me a chance at a normal life. It was what Adrius had wanted for me also — once. Well, if everyone wanted me to be normal, then that’s what I’d be. Even if it was only make-believe. No one else had to know. I texted my confirmation for the performance, feeling strangely confident I could actually win this with or without my dark Faerie of music. And I knew exactly what song I’d be singing.
I was about to toss the envelope aside when I spotted something else. I pulled out a photograph and my breath caught in my throat. It was a picture of Adrius and me at the party after the performance. Our first date. His arms were folded around me and my head leaning comfortably on his chest. He wore that stunning smile he used to reserve for me. And I’d never looked happier. A part of me began to hurt all over again, a part that had never fully healed. Never would fully heal. The air rushed out of my lungs and my legs buckled. I dropped onto the stool, buried my face in my hands and cried the tears I’d been restraining for days.
Wrapped in the darkness of my room, I wondered if it had all been a crazy dream. But I remembered every moment in that magical realm… every perfect day, every breathless hour, every heart-wrenching second. The memories were so viscerally real I could taste them.
My hand fluttered absently to my throat. The Inner Eye was real too, as real as the power I’d discovered. It had taken coming apart to come into that power. Regardless of how empty and alone I was, I knew I’d been completely and irrevocably changed by my experience.
Zanthiel’s voice floated through my mind like a familiar melody. I pushed it aside. He was a selfish, deviant player, and I was embarrassed by my emotional and physical responses to what, for him, was only a game. Being born half fey gave me the ability to sing and being half-witch, the gift to heal. Which meant Zanthiel’s hold on me was not real, because I didn’t owe anything to him. I was free to use my voice and abilities without his interference. But even after so many days had passed, a powerful connection to him lingered that I couldn’t understand or explain. Ever since that kiss.
I fell asleep each night thinking of Adrius, longing for him — his scent, his eyes, his warmth. I woke up drenched in sweat, thrashing wildly for air, entangled in the sheets… like I couldn’t breathe without him. Being separated from him forever. That was what haunted me at night. Leaving me with a heavy feeling that faded to bleak emptiness by breakfast. Each day I lived with the constant presence of his absence.
I’d ditched school for three days since my return from Ireland. But being at home doing nothing left too many opportunities to think, to remember. Thoughts of him interrupted my every waking moment. Memories of his voice, a whisper in the dark, left a bleeding trail of severed promises and shattered dreams. What I needed was to keep busy, even if it meant spending my days listening to tedious lectures in a class I was knowledgeable enough to teach. Rereading A Midsummer Night’s Dream for the sixth time had proved interesting. Each scene had taken on new meaning, hinting at a reality few would know actually existed.
Eyeing the Anne Rice novels on the library shelf, I wondered what other mythological beings existed among the unsuspecting humans. I was suddenly struck with a perverse need to reread every fairytale; parse each text for answers and additional proof that fantasy was in fact reality.
Maybe I’d volunteer to read to the kindergarteners, I decided pulling my stubborn locks into a ponytail. Children were among the few who could see Faeries, because they believed whole-heartedly in their existence.
Stealing a look in the mirror, I sighed. I looked like my old self. Although the dark circles rimming my eyes had faded, it didn’t help. The reflection held no trace of the Faerie Princess reflected in the waters of Tir Na Nog. Not even close. With a sigh, I flicked off the lights, grabbed my books, and headed to school, before I had a chance to chicken out.
“Hey stranger!” Davin called out across the parking lot, heading my way. I climbed out of Mom’s Camry and locked the door, and sighed when I saw who was tagging along after him.
“So where have you been hiding, Lorelei?” Bri chirped in her usual overly vivacious way.
“Nowhere in particular.” My tone was snippier than called for, but I really wasn’t in the mood for one of Brianne’s fake nice for Davin’s sake sessions.
“Where’s that hottie you were so tight with the other night. The new guy, you brought to the performance?”
“We… um… he left.” Apparently, I wasn’t prepared for answering questions about Adrius either.
“Seriously? He was so intensely into you.”
“Not so much, I guess.” I stared at an invisible spot on the ground, wishing I’d been gifted with the power of invisibility.
“You broke up. Already? That was fast. Wow. Sucks to be you,” she said.
I gritted my teeth to keep from snapping at her.
As soon as the words came out of her mouth, Davin elbowed her.
“Ow. I mean… sorry about your luck,” she corrected, rubbing her side. She gave what almost looked like a sincere smile. “Really, I am sorry. But hey, maybe he’ll be back.”
I shrugged, pretending indifference. “It’s fine.”
Davin’s gaze narrowed. “I wouldn’t count on it, Lor. You can’t rely on guys like that.
Again with the guys like that. Guys like what exactly? Guys that were beautiful? From another world? Supernatural? Was everyone in this town suspicious of anyone who wasn’t born here? Or did they pick up on what it took a trip to the Nevermore for me to figure out. That Adrius wasn’t what he seemed.
Just thinking about his name made me weak. Everything was stuck. Words. Air. I couldn’t get either one out. My lips were like sandpaper.
Davin interrupted my brooding. "So how was the rest of your birthday?"
“Let’s say I'm glad it's over," I mumbled.
When the first bell finally rang, I exhaled a grateful sigh.
“We better go,” Davin said as Abby ran over to us. Brianne grabbed hold of his hand and tossed her hair. Abby rolled her eyes then gave Davin a rather long peck on the cheek for a friendly hello. The move made Davin’s brows shoot up and Bri’s scowling face turn bright red. Not sure what all that was about, but sometimes I think Abby egged her on deliberately.
I watched the scene with detached indifference, the way I watched the wild kingdom videos in zoology class… there, but not actually taking any of it in.
“H-e-l-l-o?” Abby clapped her hands in front of my face and I came to. “You sure you’re feeling better?” she asked, giving my arm a shake.
“I’m great,” I said, moistening my lips. “Let’s go.”
****
I felt and looked like crap, but I didn’t care. Not today. It was my first day back, and the only goal was to make it through the day without thinking. No thoughts of Faeries, of Mythlandia… of him… Nothing. School was the ideal place. Normally I dreaded the tedium of one mind-numbing class after another. Today, I relished them. An endless string of boring lectures and assignments was exactly what I needed.
The first bell had already sounded, which meant I was late. Was it my imagination or was the hallway getting smaller? My stomach clenched as I approached the door to math class. The last time I was in this room, Adrius had been there.
The air was stagnant. It was difficult to breathe. As my hand closed around the knob, I tried not to think about what awaited inside. Or who wouldn’t be inside. All of the saliva in my mouth evaporated.
“It’s just school,” I chastised, each breath coming in short, rapid succession. “You’ve done this hundreds of time before without a panic attack.” Willing my hand to move, I twisted the knob and opened the door, aware of the disapproving creak of rusty hinges. All eyes were instantly upon me. I felt the heat rush to my face, certain it glowed neon pink against my extra pale skin.
As always it was dimly lit, yet bright enough to make out all of the familiar faces. Bored, unfriendly, mildly curious stares greeted me, as I made my way into the room. What made me decide to come back here? Even as I turned my back to fumble with the door, I considered running. But it clicked shut with all the subtly of a jail cell… Too late. I was inside, and there was no retreating now.
Class was already in session, and Mr. Reasor was reciting the current lesson plan.
“We’ll be covering in-depth graphing, systems of linear equations, and inequalities and quadratics functions for the next while.”
Sounds fun. If math hadn’t been one of my best subjects, it might have been challenging at least. I sighed, hanging my coat, resigned to the vengeful Fates which had brought me back here against my will. Refusing to meet any of the inquisitive stares, I vaguely listened to the monotonous drone about a new homework assignment.
“…Partners… due next week…forty per cent of your final grade…”
Great… I didn’t want a partner. I wanted to work alone.To be left alone. Irritated, I tuned out the teacher and the many distracted eyes still watching me while I slid into the empty seat next to Davin.
“Hey,” he whispered, and I returned a thin smile.
Mr. Reasor must have noticed, because he cleared his throat to regain the spotlight.
“Welcome back, Miss Alundra. I trust your mother is fully recovered. And congratulations on your placement in the vocal finals. We all look forward to your performance this evening.”
I nodded stiffly, eyes on my desk. Making it through the day was my only focus. I hadn’t gotten around to psyching myself up for another performance yet. Baby steps… just make it through the day. The door opened and closed. An audible shuffling of bodies followed by whispers spread through the room. That was when I felt it…The pin prick of eyes piercing the back of my neck.
I winced. Only one pair of eyes had ever caused a physical sensation. There was a whiff of herbs in the air. I didn’t dare turn around, not sure what I expected to find and yet knowing exactly who I’d see. Beads of perspiration formed on my brow. A shiver ran down my spine. It was a sensation I hadn’t experienced in a while. Not since— My skin prickled, my breath caught in my throat. My senses were heightened, strained as if sensing danger and the hair on the back of my neck stood on end.
“Take a seat, Mr. Thanduir,” the impatient teacher muttered.
My breath froze. Searing heat flushed my body at the sound of his name. Don’t turn around. I told myself, but recklessly, my body disobeyed. Circling to encounter the source of the intense heat, his golden olive eyes met mine head on. I sucked in a mouthful of air. Those eyes. I had seen them before. I knew them like I knew my own. Eyes that saw more than any human ever could. Eyes that saw into my soul. Eyes that smoldered with carefully controlled desire. Eyes that had burned with love one moment and hatred the next. They were his eyes. He was here. Back in my classroom and in my world.