All the same warning bells that went off in my head when I first met him were ringing again, only this time too loudly to be ignored. The wind blew strands of rain darkened hair over his eyes. I fought back the insane urge to reach out and brush them aside. He was a predator. Maybe he was right all along. I didn’t have any sense of self-preservation.
“We’ve already passed the point of no return, Lorelei… remember?”
My name was like melted chocolate when he said it. He moved closer.
I shook my head, disbelief pushing past my fear. It was too much, standing this close to him, a version of him I no longer knew. Anger simmered beneath my skin.
“Then why are you here? Because in case you haven’t noticed I can’t breathe… with you this close to me.” …Can’t breathe without you. “You did this to me… so now what?” I tried to inhale, but the air caught in my throat, unable to travel down to my lungs. The unbearable pressure against my chest I’d felt since he left kept growing, threatening to suffocate me completely.
“I want to talk to you.”
“Talk?” I spat. “You want to talk to me?” I planted my fists on my hips. “What is it you want to say to me? Because I’ve been replaying this scenario over in my mind a thousand times and I’m dying to see which way it’s going to go.”
Dozens of emotions flashed across his face. Anger… pain… frustration. Eventually he landed on regret. His expression stilled and darkened, the light faded from his eyes.
“I don’t know how to begin, but…” He shook his head. “I shouldn’t have come back. I was going to stay far away from you. That was my promise.” Thick lashes shaded his eyes as his gaze fell. “Once again, I failed.”
I frowned, biting my lower lip. His breathing was heavy and I watched the mesmerizing rise and fall of his chest under the damp white shirt. He was too perfect, standing here in the drizzling rain.
“Being away from you was more than I could stand. I had to see you.” He pushed the wet hair away from his face. “There was no life left in Mythlandria after you were gone. After I… sent you away. I couldn’t breathe there without you. Nothing was worth that price. Not even my soul. Even if the spell binding me remains forever unbreakable, enduring an eternity of agony was nothing, compared to living another moment without you. I vowed I would find you and never again leave your side. I couldn’t.”
My chest blazed with a new fury. Every muscle coiled in rage. A searing tear ran freely down my cheek. He reached out his hand, his thumb gently brushing it away. When his hand lingered I pushed it away, not wanting to feel his touch.
I opened my mouth to lash out but something stopped me… and my lips parted under the gentle weight of his kiss.
His hands pressed into the small of my back, pulling me closer. The ground spun uncontrollably. I closed my eyes, lost in the deliciousness of him. His warm fragrance was so intoxicating and so… familiar. My heart paused. I couldn’t breathe. There was nothing but the feeling of him.
His kisses were softer. Feathery. Giving me a chance to catch my breath. But my mouth had other ideas. Leaning into him, I pulled closer, not wanting to break our magical bond. A low moan escaped his throat, sending a shudder sliding down the length of my spine. I was breathless, torn between my frantic need for air and my desperate need for him.
My chest heaved as by body and mind gave way, losing track of time and space. The heat from his lips burned with a different hunger… I clung to him, our bodies entwined.
Stretching up onto my toes, my fingers laced through the waves of his hair, drawing him tighter, arching as I leaned into him. The slow gentle glide of his hands seemed completely in contrast with the frenzied desire pulsing through me.
He pulled away slowly, and though I tightened my hold, he insisted. His breath ragged and uneven he drew back gently. My legs were rubber as I lowered my heels to the ground. Sinewy arms encircled me, supporting my shaky stance. His hands moved to frame my face, and he gazed deeply into my eyes.
I tried to remember how to breathe. I had access to air but had completely forgotten how to draw it in. Had my heart forgotten how to beat too? Slowly, I drew in a staggered breath, letting my senses return to some level of normal. My eyes locked on his as I tried to read what I saw.
Flecks of gold flashed as thoughts passed rapidly across his eyes. With a heavy sigh, he dropped his hands from my face. The sudden coolness felt uncomfortable. I hadn’t realized how warm it was in his arms and how cold it felt to be away from them.
“I’m-I’m sorry…” was all he said. His words broke off, and he watched me struggle with an overwhelming array of emotions, no doubt seeing the anger, despair, and… hopefulness, I couldn’t hide.
Branches swayed, gently caressed by the subtle breeze. Adrius bowed his head slightly. A dark wave tumbled boyishly across his forehead.
Did he have any idea how beautiful he was? I continued to remind myself to breathe while trying to make sense of what had — what was happening.
He reached out and stroked my cheek, his fingers still warm with the residual heat from our kiss. Our kiss… I replayed the words in my mind like a favorite tune. It sounded impossible, and yet there we were, inches apart from one another with a desire that was proving hard to extinguish. This sort of thing just doesn’t happen. Boy meets girl, boy falls for girl, boy returns to kill girl, boy kisses girl…? It was a crazy plot line even by my overly imaginative standards.
“You’re — sorry?” My voice cracked and I cleared my throat; breaking our gaze to stare at my hands. “Sorry for what?” It was pretty much near impossible to look at him and concentrate at the same time. It was especially difficult now that he was here staring back at me with a mixture of longing and confusion and… something else. I still wasn’t sure what else lurked behind those eyes.
Adrius paused for a moment, like he was selecting his words carefully. He took a step back, away from me.
“I mean, I didn’t intend to frighten you. I only…” Again he faltered, at a loss for words.
It was so odd to see his usually cool calm exterior so flustered. I smiled, feeling a spark of power.
He tilted his head, with a curious frown. “Lorelei.” A serious note was in his voice. “I could be friends with you… I could fall in love with you… I could make love to you…” His voice was barely above a whisper. “But I could never completely belong to you.” There was an unmistakable sadness in his words. He spoke slowly, thoughtfully, as if he didn’t fully agree with the words. “I’m sorry. I… should go.”
A crow cawed loudly from the darkened tree tops and swooped down over our heads. I wrapped my arms around myself, feeling a chill from the strength of its beating wings. A single black feather floated to the ground. The air stirred and I whirled around, hearing my name on the wind. But there was nothing, and the lone feather seeped into the endless blackness of the forest floor.
I nodded numbly and gazed back at him… wide eyes scanning his face for something… anything that would give me a clue as to what was really going on.
He turned away and stepped off the trail into the forest. He had nearly disappeared completely when I was jolted back to my senses.
“Wait!” I couldn’t let him leave, let things go back to the way they were without knowing the answer.
“Don’t go. Just tell me one thing,” I said, feeling my cheeks grow hot. “What was that? I mean, why did you…?”
I was staring into his eyes again. It’s no wonder words were slipping from my consciousness along with the ability to put together a simple sentence.
He smiled. My heart skipped a beat. Devilish eyes raked over me briefly, then glanced away. Focus. “Why were you so willing to believe the worst?”
His smile faded as he returned to me. “You have to understand the panic factor behind discovering who you were… are. And what you did.” He frowned. “In one dark moment, you went from being my reason to live, to my sworn adversary. I saw my dreams slipping away, and my father’s will growing stronger, our future destroyed. I lost hope.”
“But it was Zanthiel we’re talking about,” I said. “How could you think…”
“Yes, Zanthiel… the dark lord of the shadow court,” he retorted. “The one who savagely twists the laws and magic of Faery for his own sick pleasures. I know you don’t see it, Lorelei, but he’s dangerous. You can’t exactly blame me for being upset you kissed him.”
His words stung. The last thing I wanted to think about was Zanthiel.
Adrius cupped my face in his warm hands. “I thought I was doing the right thing. Letting you go meant your life would be spared. Giving you a chance at a normal life in the world you know so well. Away from the magic and mayhem,” he said, his voice even.
“You being a witch made it easier for me to ignore my feelings. I allowed the pain and bitterness of my mother’s death to convince me we were better off apart.”
I didn’t know what to say so I listened, wrestling with my emotions.
“My feelings for you were too strong. They refused to stay buried. I don’t care what they say you are… or where you came from. None of it matters. I know you… who you are inside, Lorelei. That’s the girl I love… the girl I can’t live without.”
I exhaled slowly, letting the words soak in. Feelings of relief and elation vied for top position.
“So I’m asking for your forgiveness even though I know I don’t deserve it. And a second chance at making things right between us, somehow.” He stroked my hair, pressing his lips to the top of my head. “I swear I will never hurt you again.”
“I thought you were sorry you had kissed me,” I said, sounding totally pathetic.
“How could something as amazing as kissing you ever be a mistake?” He seemed to be talking to himself. “I’ve never felt sorry for those moments. I’m only sorry they led to pain. Can you forgive me?”
I felt strangled by my own emotions. There was so much I wanted to say, or scream, or shout, and yet only one word came out strained and barely audible.
“Yes.” My fingers interlaced with his, and I stared at the way they fit. “I’d dreamed this moment would come. I didn’t believe that it actually would.” I stared up at him and then pointed a finger at his nose. “But if we’re going to do this you have to understand you can’t leave when things get scary, Adrius. I can only be in if we’re in this together.”
It wasn’t obvious how tense he was until his whole body relaxed.
“Forcing you away… was a mistake, and the guilt of that decision haunts me to this day.” His voice cracked on the last word. “I’m all in,” he said softly, his hands sitting on my waist.
“If I had to choose between my love for you and the air I breathe, I’d spend my last breath telling you how much you mean to me.”
I shook my head, then tangled my arms around his neck, as his mouth found mine. He kissed me, gently at first, but becoming urgent and insatiable. It conveyed what we both intrinsically knew and feared — that we could never again be apart.
He smiled down at me, his hands still on my waist, and I hesitated for a moment, too flustered to think straight under his touch. He tilted his head until his forehead rested against mine. His hand touched my face, his thumb tracing across my lips.
“I’m all wrong for you,” he said quietly. “And if I wasn’t so selfish I would refuse to let you risk your life to be with me.”
“You’re perfect for me,” I replied.
He opened his mouth to say something, but then changed his mind, resigned to stroke my hair in blissful silence.