The pill cocktail Mark stuffed down my throat packed a punch, and had I been thinking clearly, I wouldn’t have gotten into my new truck with Sassy behind the wheel. I would’ve crawled upstairs to my childhood bedroom and slept it off. But no, I abandoned common sense and followed the cheetah like a lost puppy in need of attention.
Instead of taking me home, she drove me to her parents’ place and parked my baby on the grass.
“But she’ll get dirty,” I complained. “You can’t get her dirty.”
“Decided she’s your side chick, have you?”
“She’s too pretty to be a man.”
Sassy laughed and killed the engine. “I can’t argue with that logic. She’s a very pretty truck. Are you going to give her a name?”
“Mine.”
“That’s not a name for a truck, Aaron. That’s ownership status. And yes, she’s yours. You poor thing. Your medications are having their way with you. Don’t worry. You can go to bed in a few minutes, and no one is going to touch your new baby while it’s parked in front of a lycanthrope-infested home.”
I liked she acknowledged her parents’ home had a lycanthrope infestation. “Why are we here?”
“I’d like to see this serial killer invade my daddy’s house with my brothers on guard along with some friends. We’re having a sleepover party. I haven’t had a sleepover party in years. You wouldn’t come between me and a sleepover party, would you?”
A wise man went along with what the agitated woman wanted. “Of course not. But why do you think my apartment’s unsafe?”
“I never said that.”
“I might be drugged sky high, but I haven’t been completely reduced to a one-celled amoeba yet. You brought me here and called in your brothers. You think my apartment’s unsafe.”
Sassy scowled. “Mark lied to me. He promised you’d be so high you wouldn’t notice. No one is going to try anything in a house full of lycanthropes. Daddy asked the local wolves for backup. There’s a pack prowling the neighborhood tonight. If anyone shows up and sniffs around your truck, we’ll know about it.”
When Sassy got it into her head to be stubborn, it took a lot of coaxing to get anything out of her. I either needed to push the point or let it go, and if I tried to let it go, curiosity would eat away at me until I found out the truth somehow. “Any reason you think there will be problems tonight?”
“You survived. That’s going to piss this guy off. He’s a pro. You got away. Of course there will be problems. And I say no. There won’t be problems because I asked my daddy to make sure there won’t be any problems.”
Damn it. Sassy was on a collision course for chaining herself to me, probably with literal handcuffs she’d steal from Maxwell. “If he didn’t want me to have a chance of survival, I’d be dead, Sassy. This guy doesn’t miss. I think he just wanted me out of the way for a while.”
“Nope.”
When Sassy made up her mind, it’s be easier to move a mountain, change the ocean’s tides, and perhaps relocate the moon. Maybe I’d try my hand at wrangling a hurricane first. “All right. Anything else I should know?”
“You’re sleeping in my room, but Daddy says there will be no shenanigans in my room, so I have to sleep on your feet and keep them warm while a cheetah.”
As the fastest way to ensure shenanigans in Sassy’s room was to tell Sassy she couldn’t indulge in any shenanigans in her room, I gave it two days at most before she snapped and went after me. Sassy’s father needed to be thanked somehow, and I bet I could find some tools he didn’t already own. “I’ll do my best not to kick you, but you’d be more comfortable sharing the bed properly than hunched over my feet. If you’re concerned my feet will get cold, we can use another blanket.”
“Your feet are closer to the door. If someone does come after you, I want to be ready. I even sharpened my claws earlier.”
“Did you have your mother paint them?” For some reason I didn’t understand, nail polish survived the transformation, and nail polish stuck surprisingly well to cheetah claws.
“They match your truck.”
Nice. “Good choice.”
“I certainly thought so. Daddy wants to see you when we get in, and I’m not invited. Try not to pick a fight, okay?”
Considering Sassy had gone Daddy’s Little Girl to the extreme, I’d do better than my best behavior to keep her from snapping. How she’d snap, I had no idea, but I wanted to be off my medications so I could fully enjoy it when it happened. “I can manage that. Well, I won’t pick a fight on purpose, but I’m heavily drugged. I do stupid shit when drugged.”
She laughed. “We know. Your mouth gets you into trouble every damned time. Daddy’s probably in his den. I’ll show you where it is, then I’ll go shift.”
“All right.” As being heavily medicated might save me from Sassy’s mother but wouldn’t spare me from her father, I went through the usual guest ritual, making sure I took my shoes off, removed any stray dirt so I wouldn’t track it over the floors, and handed over my wallet and keys to Sassy so I wouldn’t lose them. “I will lose them in my current state.”
“They could stay in your pocket, Aaron.”
“I’ll lose them.”
“All right. I’ll put them in my room for you.”
While I’d been to the living room, guest bathroom, kitchen, and dining room, I’d never been through the rest of the house, and Sassy led me to a door, which descended into the basement. She took the steps two at a time and knocked. “Daddy? We’re here. If you don’t need me, I’ll go upstairs and shift. I’ve got Aaron’s wallet and keys. He didn’t want to lose them.”
I wondered at the little girl Sassy had once been, likely an avid worshipper of her father. The street went both ways, as only an idiot would miss how much her father adored his little kitten. I needed to, when opportunity allowed, thank her parents for doing everything just right with her.
A vibrant, stubborn, headstrong woman with indomitable pride didn’t happen by accident.
“You come on in, Aaron. Get yourself ready for bed, Sastria, and I hope you’ve abandoned your hope of going to your apartment tonight. If you need something, I’ll send some of your brat brothers over, but you’re staying here for the rest of the day.”
Yep, I definitely needed to thank Sassy’s father in some way.
Sassy bolted up the stairs. Smothering my chuckle, I shook my head and opened the door.
A book lover’s dream waited inside, and two armchairs took up the limited free space. While he had a fireplace, I appreciated he’d gone the electric route; smoke could damage books, and from the looks of his collection, he’d spent thousands finding the perfect titles to grace his shelves. Sassy’s father lounged on one of the armchairs, and he gestured to the seat beside him. “You’ve got to be tired. Sit, sit. How are you feeling?”
“Like my brother spiked my medications with more medications,” I confessed, grateful to get off my feet. Once seated, my body reminded me how sore and abused it was. “Thanks for keeping me from bleeding out. Appreciated.”
“You’re welcome. You are looking better, though you’re still grayer than I like. How’s my kitten holding together?”
“She’s all right.”
“I find that unlikely, as tense as she’s been. Last time she was over, she wanted to go to her apartment and bake every single type of pie you like and feed them to you.”
That explained the ban from returning to her apartment. “The DA came over and pitched an offer from the copper shop; they want to use us as guinea pigs for non-hybrid lycanthropes on the force. Sassy never wanted to be a PI. She wanted to be a cop. So, she’s excited right now.”
“I stand corrected. You still serious?”
It took me all of ten seconds to confirm to myself I needed the infection almost as much as I needed my next breath. The offer from the police had cinched the deal, as I refused to risk Sassy’s chance of having her dream job. I had my reservations, as I understood what else being a cop entailed, but some sacrifices were worth making.
For Sassy, I’d do a lot more than deal with the burdens of becoming a cop.
“One of my brats has a field transfusion kit with him and knows how to use it. He’s already confirmed I can donate, as he got a copy of your medical file from my kitten, which had your blood type listed. The plan is to give you transfusions as often as safely possible until your next testing to help the virus take hold. Here’s where things will be tricky. Sassy’s already locked onto you, and she’ll become anxious until you’re a properly mated pair. This is due to your incubating virus and hers reacting to each other. Your job is simple. Keep your attention focused on Sassy. Bribe her with shoes as necessary, but stay concentrated on her. Your virus will figure it out from there. Being blunt, kidnapping followed with a hostage situation is becoming a family tradition, so play along when she finally snaps.”
“As long as it happens when I’m not scheduled to work, okay. I’m all right with that.”
“I’ll make sure her mother suggests our kitten take care with the timing.”
“I take it we’re going to use the crash to hide the transfusions?”
“That plus a little magic and an ointment to close the injection sites. My brat will be monitoring the transfusions to maximize how much we can give you and jumpstart your infection. In good news, your injuries likely mean we can make more ground tonight. He thought the other option might creep you out.”
“I’m not a vampire, nor am I bisexual.”
“As such, we’re going the transfusion route.”
“I’d say do your worst, but I don’t think I can handle your worst today,” I admitted.
“You’ll be fine. Just try to relax. You’ll be upstairs napping in no time at all.”
According to Sassy’s brother, Joe, the hospital shouldn’t have released me, and if an opportunity presented itself, he wouldn’t be against beating sense back into my collection of doctors, none of which had any business being a doctor if they couldn’t verify the complete halting of internal bleeding before releasing a patient. Using an eclectic mixture of magic, blending natural ability and practitioner tricks, he examined me from head to foot, muttering curses the entire time.
When a military field surgeon cursed over my health, I worried.
When the military field surgeon could likely lift my other doctors over his head and snap them in half, I worried a lot.
“Should I just go buy my casket now? Because seriously, with how you’re cussing, I feel like I should just save everyone the hassle, and buy my own casket in advance. And since I spent so much money on your sister’s shoes, I’ll probably opt for a cardboard one for cremation. It’ll be cheaper.”
Sassy’s father snorted. “Don’t be dramatic, Aaron.”
“He’s not necessarily wrong, Dad. Perhaps a little dramatic, but he’s not necessarily wrong. I’m going to document and authenticate my findings with an angel so I can build a malpractice case. He’s got more leaks than I like, and it’s serious enough he really shouldn’t have been let out of the hospital. Fuck, did they not even bother with a blood test? Any medical mage worth their license would take one look at you and know you’re leaking like a sieve. Did they just go off an imaging check and ignore the signs of internal bleeding? Fuck, I wouldn’t even need to do a blood test. I would’ve just checked your blood pressure and laughed at the idea of releasing you in this condition. On blood pressure levels alone, you’re already a candidate for a transfusion.” Joe spat more curses. “It’s like they want you to fall over dead or develop early onset lycanthropy. I won’t even need to cover anything, Dad. He’s a mess. Why is he even here? Why would they release him? What sort of doctor is that fucking stupid?”
“I’m assuming he’s here because the hospital decided he no longer needed to stay there,” Sassy’s father replied. “Complete your examination. I’ll run upstairs and tell your mother she might need to donate as well so she doesn’t have her evening wine. Aaron, I’ll give your brother a call and notify him there’s a problem. I’m also going to bring him over just in case. I’ll also convince him it’s wise he not yap about what we’re doing.”
Mark would love watching me be used as an experiment by a bunch of cats. “I’m sure he’ll eagerly become an accomplice.”
“Good. Need anything from me, Joe?”
“Bring down some bottles of water, please. In the meantime, I’ll figure out how much of a transfusion he needs. I might be able to pull it off just using your blood if your virus levels look good after the first round, but I’d rather Mom be ready if needed.”
“I’ll take care of it,” Sassy’s father promised before rising to his feet and strolling towards the door as though he didn’t have a worry in the world.
“If you work through Mom and Dad, Dean’s good to donate, but Charlie’s virus is too low for my liking. I checked before coming down here. While Sassy’s probably good to donate, I’d like to leave her in the dark about this as long as possible. She’ll flip, and when she flips, her virus flips, and the last thing you need right now is a mauling, which is exactly what would happen if she and her virus flip right now. Mate claims are rough,” Joe said, shaking his head and sighing. “But seriously. You’re a mess, and I’m going to be filing about this. You shouldn’t even be out of the hospital.”
“I guess that explains why I felt like shit trying to walk to the rental?”
“Yep. I’m glad your brother called me. Frankly, if I wasn’t a field surgeon used to working with the infected, I’d be carting you back to the hospital in an ambulance just to be safe rather than sorry. Bleeding like this can easily become fatal, and it can become fatal in minutes. Frankly, I don’t even understand how you’re as alert as you are. If I had to make a bet, you’re infected, the virus is replicating as fast as it can to help counter your internal bleeding, and when I start the transfusion, your incubating virus and Dad’s virus are going to get together, have a party, and jumpstart your infection nicely with an added bonus of helping the internal injuries heal.”
“I’m going to ignore all the parts about this potentially being fatal and concentrate on what’s important. Your odds on infection probability?”
“When I go grab the scanner I have on loan, my bet is it’s going to squeal like a stuck pig when I bring it near you.”
“Which is good.”
“Very. Unless you don’t want lycanthropy, in which case, I’m sorry.”
Joe wasn’t sorry at all, and I laughed at his unrepentant tone. “Please tell me I have decent odds of surviving tonight.”
“You do. I’ve healed a lot worse in the field. You should recover with no impairment or permanent damage. The lycanthropy virus will help with that. While Dad’s upstairs, I’m going to be blunt with you. Dad asked me to poke around in your memories and see if I can find anything out about the driver. I know you’ve said you don’t remember anything, but it’s common with brain injuries for memories surrounding a traumatic event to be forgotten. I’m capable of poking around your head and sifting through old memories. I’ll go through everything from now until shortly before the crash in order to learn whatever details I can. What I find will be private unless I feel it will help us find this asshole. Everything you saw, felt, and thought will be mine to know, and that disturbs people.”
I raised my brows. “Well, I love your sister and bought her nice shoes hoping she’d forgive me for deliberating contracting lycanthropy, except that part of the plan got derailed. I’m terrified of your father. Beyond that, try to stay out of client matters, please.”
“You didn’t have to tell me your secrets.”
I snorted. “You’re a cat. You’re going to tell everyone anyway. Just keep a lid on the client matters. If you think poking around in my head will find the killer, have a ball. I just don’t promise you’ll like what you see.”
“True, that. All right. Make yourself comfortable. Relax if you can. I’ll try to keep this as painless as possible, but it depends on where the bleeding is. Some areas are more sensitive to magic than others, and the harder I have to work, the more painful it becomes. If it’s too much for you to handle, I’ll drug you until you can’t see straight to make sure Sassy doesn’t figure out something’s wrong. Try not to scream. I’d rather you bit me like you mean it than scream. You screaming will set Sassy off.”
“Noted. Hit me with your best shot, just don’t kill me, please. I’ve had my fill of close brushes with death for a while.”
Unexpected naps made it difficult to monitor if Sassy’s brother rummaged through my head. According to my body, I’d endured a second crash, although my chest and stomach took the brunt of the pain. My throat twinged, an alarming enough sensation, but since no one around me panicked, I focused on regaining coherency. It took a lot longer than I liked, and when I finally managed to crack an eye open, Joe fiddled with a line attached to my arm.
It hurt.
“Ouch,” I informed him.
“It only stings a little. You’ll be fine.” Joe straightened and shook his head.
“Am I leaking?”
Joe’s shoulders slumped, and he sighed.
“It’s never a good sign when the military surgeon looks defeated. You’re making me think I need to purchase a casket.”
Shooting a glare at me, Joe perched on the arm of his father’s chair, careful to avoid the blood-filled lines. “I’m not defeated. I’m annoyed and tired. You were leaking, but you’re not leaking now. I’ve patched you up, but you’re going to be stuck in bed with limited mobility for the next week unless your incubating virus gets its ass in gear and finishes the job faster. Assuming Dad’s virus levels stay stable, he’ll be your morning donor. Dean has evening duty, and Mom will be the extra as needed. I’m going to call in for your medical record, but do you remember if they ran you through any imaging machines?”
“They did, yes. The last one was the day before I was released, I think. I’m not really sure what all the machines do,” I confessed.
“All right. I’ll talk to Mark, and I’ll have him start investigating your doctors and their connections. There’s no way those active bleeds should’ve gone undetected. You had a minor bleed in your brain, and just don’t fucking ask me about the rest of the mess. You’ll be fine, but you need rest, and you need to let the virus do its job. Also, I’ll make sure Sassy knows to keep her attention extra gentle.”
“But she has been gentle,” I protested.
“Aaron, she climbed you like a tree, and because you’re an idiot, you liked it despite it hurting like hell.”
“Well, yes. She was wearing the blue shoes, and she was excited. Honestly, I was a little excited, too. Have you seen my new truck?”
“Who hasn’t? You can see it from the end of the street. I’d say you’re overcompensating, but honestly, you put your trucks through their paces whenever possible. And I can’t begrudge how much you enjoyed your first look at that beauty.”
“Is a trip to the hardware store out? I need new tools. My old tools had a terrible accident. I would find a trip to the hardware store very restful.”
“Order new tools online.”
Sassy’s brother wasn’t just a military man, he was a hardened, cruel professional, potentially aligned with the darkest forces of evil. I frowned and wondered how I could defeat the darkest form of evil.
Sassy’s father laughed. “Don’t get pouty, Aaron. As soon as Joe clears you off bed rest, I’ll take you out for some tools. It’ll give us a chance to see if anyone is following you before you go diving back into trouble.”
From the day I’d met him, Sassy’s father had called me trouble. His fatherly intuition must’ve warned him I’d meant to stick around. I considered my options and decided he’d win no matter what I did. “I’ll make a list of tools I’ll need.”
“That might keep the trip sane. Perhaps. I need a new planar.”
“Dad,” Joe complained. “You don’t need a new planar.”
“Your mother decided I need a new planar.”
Joe crossed his arms over his chest. “And what is Mom going to tell me when I ask her about your old planar?”
“That she broke my jackhammer breaking my planar.”
Joe turned to me, and we stared at each other. When it became clear Sassy’s brother was at a complete loss, I sad, “I can help him pick out a new planar and a jackhammer, and until you think I’m able to drive, I’ll give Sassy the keys to my truck.”
“You’re not helping, Aaron.”
“Sure I am. Do you really think your old man will leave the hardware store without breaking the budget otherwise? After fitting a planar and a jackhammer in the bed of my truck, he’ll have to leave space for my tools. It’s probably cheaper to get him a new planar and jackhammer than it is to leave him with half the bed of a truck to fill.”
“I hate that you’re right.”
I nodded at the line sticking in my arm. “When do I get free of this thing?”
“In an hour, and keep it quiet. My sister is sulking at the top of the stairs as a cheetah. Mom banned her from coming down the steps, and Dad threatened to make her sleep in the guest bedroom alone if she didn’t behave. I had Dad tell her I was doing a thorough examination, and since she has no idea how long those actually take, she’s assuming I’m just being thorough. I’ll have to wipe your arm down with antiseptic to mask the scent of blood, but it should do the trick. If she does smell your blood, I’ll just say I did a blood test. If she smell’s Dad’s blood, I’ll tell her I was checking his virus levels. Since everyone got a round of virus levels being checked today, she won’t think twice about it.”
I could live with an hour. I hoped.
A chirping Sassy waited at the top of the stairs, and I scratched behind her ears, fighting to keep from laughing. “Everything’s fine,” I promised. “I’m wiped and in dire need of some sleep, but everything’s fine.”
Sassy’s father came up behind me and thumped his hand against my shoulder. “Take him to your room and remember to be gentle,” he ordered. “Let him sleep as long as he wants, and try to limit how much weight you rest on him. He’s not a pillow. Tonight, you’re limited to putting your chin on his shoulder. Purring is acceptable. Other than that, keep your paws and teeth to yourself.”
Sassy shook herself, rose, and retreated in the direction of the staircase leading upstairs, and I followed, too tired to hide my grimace.
Joe shadowed me. “I’ll check on you in the morning. I’m also going to call in a few prescriptions for you. Sassy, you’ll need to pick them up in the morning. While you’re running errands, I’d like a copy of his medical insurance.”
Twisting her ears back, Sassy glared at her brother.
“We’ll talk about it tomorrow, just please get me a copy of his medical insurance. Snag me a complete copy of his medical record while you’re at it. Oh, and the contact information for his lawyer would be nice, too. In the meantime, keep Aaron company, keep him warm, and try not to shred your bedding. And no, the scripts aren’t anything to worry about. He needs some supplements while he recovers. It’s annoying they weren’t already prescribed, but it’s no big deal. He’ll just bounce back faster while taking them.”
Sassy chirped and bobbed her head.
After being poked and prodded, I viewed the potential of Sassy puncturing me in her typical feline enthusiasm minimal at worst. “It’s fine, Sassy. Your brother’s paranoid, as is my brother. You know how those military types get, and since our bothers get along, well, they gang up on their unsuspecting victims. I’m their choice of victim this week. Let them be worrywarts. As for the medical records, they’re worry warts. Don’t ask me about the lawyer. Joe probably wants our lawyer’s info because he likes handsome men.”
“Funny, Aaron. Why am I helping you again?”
“You like that I tell the truth with an added bonus of being easy on the eyes. Unfortunately for you, I’m unwavering in my heterosexuality.”
“How annoying. Dad, I’ll drop by in the morning. Sassy, unless he stops breathing, he’s fine. Should he stop breathing, yell for Dad. He’s good at CPR.”
Sassy’s father sighed. “Stop trying to give your sister a panic attack, Joe. Aaron, go to bed.”
As only an idiot argued with Sassy’s father, I did as told.
Sassy had only herself to blame for my unconscious behavior. Had she not used me as a climbing pole, I wouldn’t have sought revenge in my sleep. Waking up holding eighty pounds of cranky feline added some spice to my morning. She growled and beat me with her tail, an understandable reaction to being held hostage and unable to escape.
All in all, I found the situation pleasing, as she kept me warm.
As my nose was already buried into the bristly fur of her neck, I decided to enjoy the moment and take a few deep breaths.
“Sassy, will you stop your complaining already?” Joe grunted and tapped his foot on the floor. “Obviously, he likes where you’re at. What’s the problem? You’re always whining you can’t attract single men, but now that you’ve got one wrapped around you, you’re whining about it! You even got him into bed with you. You should be celebrating. Aaron, let her go already. It’s noon. You need to take your medications and have breakfast. Your parents came over earlier this morning, but they left when they found out you were still sleeping. They looked in, saw you’d wrangled yourself a cheetah, and bailed.”
“My cheetah,” I mumbled, rubbing my nose in Sassy’s fur. “Warm.”
“And you’re obviously still asleep. You need a hot bath and breakfast. After, I’ll do another examination and see how you’re doing. Sassy, I really need you to go pick up his scripts while I figure out why his body temp is low enough he’s using you as a heater.”
While I grumbled complaints, I released her. “Sorry, Sassy.”
She rolled over and dragged her tongue over my face. Twice.
“I deserved that.”
Joe chuckled. “Get a move on, Sassy. I’ll make sure he’s all right. Oh, and do me a favor?”
Sassy chirped.
“Mom put in an order with the butcher. She’ll give you the address. Pick up her purchases in Aaron’s truck, please? You’ll have a few undercover cops tailing you watching for anything suspicious. Stay off the highways.”
Flattening her ears, she hissed at her brother.
“Are you sure you want to date that hissy cat? Less complaining, more running errands. I have to go to work sometime today, and Dad’ll whoop my ass if I don’t check on your pet human. You even put clothes out for yourself last night to make this morning easier. Smart. Now, move your ass. Seriously. You’re on dinner duty. You know what’ll happen if Mom feels like she wasn’t hospitable to a guest.”
Sassy bolted out of bed, slowed long enough to grab her clothes in her mouth, and fled.
“I see our mothers share similar beliefs about hospitality.”
“Added bonus of my mother knowing we can take a whooping and not have a bruise by morning. In good news, my mother would only whoop our asses if we really earned it.”
“Switch?” I guessed.
“And we had to pick it out ourselves. Only took once to make it clear we never wanted the switch again.” Joe laughed, leaned out of Sassy’s bedroom, and stared down the hall, shaking his head. “And off she goes.”
The thumps on the stairs concerned me. “Did she just fall down the stairs?”
“Yep.”
“I’m okay!” Sassy yelled.
“Is she even dressed? How could she get dressed that fast?”
“Not precisely. She was yanking on her pants when she tried to take the stairs, resulting in her headlong flight down the entire damned thing. She’s tough. She’ll be fine.” Louder, he added, “Put a damned bra on, woman!”
“Screw you, Joe!”
“Sastria, you dress yourself properly before leaving this house,” Sassy’s mother hollered.
“Honestly, she did better than usual. Last time, she hadn’t gotten her pants all the way on before bolting out the door. Cheetahs? We’re not body shy. You’ll get used to it.”
I hoped I never got used to it; Sassy in a bikini could reduce me to a gibbering mess in five seconds flat. Fortunately—or unfortunately, as the case often was—she rarely went swimming. Cheetahs and water didn’t mix, although I hoped to buck the trend since I enjoyed a good weekend at the lake.
At least Sassy liked fish.
With as much dignity as I could muster, I replied, “I think I’ll manage somehow.”
“It’ll be such a burden on you, I’m sure.”
A door slammed downstairs, and moments later, my new truck rumbled to life. “It’ll be a terrible burden. Do you think she’ll try putting her shoes on first?”
“She’s not the brightest crayon in the box sometimes. Could happen if you keep her shoes out. She’s a bit single-minded once she’s off to avoid a whooping.”
“She’s not at any risk of a whooping from me.”
Joe snickered. “Cheetah, Aaron. We like it rough. But, you’ll know when she wants a whooping from you.”
While he provided way too much information for my comfort, I filed his comment away as a warning. Then again, maybe I was more of a cheetah than I cared to think about. If Sassy wanted to get rough with me, I’d probably enjoy it. “Good to know.”
“It’s considered polite to ignore nudity unless you’re admiring your mate or a coalition partner. Since you’ll never have a coalition partner, you can admire Sassy all you want. Just keep public displays of affection to a minimum. We try not to overly offend the uninfected.”
By uninfected, I assumed he meant people like my parents, who viewed lycanthropes as a direct violation of their religion’s tenets. They welcomed headless angels with open arms, but everything else went onto their list of prejudices.
It amazed me my parents had let Sassy into their home. That my mother had warmed up to her enough to start dropping hints at grandchildren astonished me.
“That’s not what Sassy tells me about her dates,” I muttered.
“Sassy’s an idiot and goes to lycanthrope-friendly bars and restaurants. We’re more relaxed. She’s also exaggerating some. Well, a lot. Kinda. I mean, her dates are totally guilty of kissing each other and ignoring her. That part’s unfortunately true. It’s her fault, though. She informs the various coalitions when she’s taking one of their men out on a date. They show up. If she wanted to steal a coalition cheetah, she’d be stealthier about it.”
One day, I would understand Sassy. I’d probably be a candidate for admission to a mental institute, but one day, I would understand her. “How bad is she exaggerating, do you think?”
“Only as much as needed to get your attention and escape from a date she didn’t want to be on in the first place. We’re promiscuous, Aaron. We’re one of the few lycanthropy species that’ll screw anything that moves until a determined cheetah female comes around. And since most cheetah males have no interest in human females, well, it’s a vicious cycle. Sassy’s been locked onto you for years. Mom’s getting impatient, but it takes time for a female to decide to stake her claim. All this is doing is speeding up the process. Since Dad’s a mated, breeding male, his virus is already wired to be interested in a singular female, in this case, Sassy. We speculate because you’re inheriting so much of Dad’s virus, you’ll have no interest in the coalitions. The instinct to join a coalition takes time to develop, and it happens because of the low number of eligible females. Since there’s an eligible female already interested in you, you’re going to fixate on her. It’s already happening. You wrapped yourself around her the instant you clocked out for the night. Dad invades Mom’s space all the time. He’s wired to protect her.”
I scratched the back of my neck, but since Joe had already poked around my head, I saw no need to hide anything from him. “To be fair, I’m an unrepentant pillow hugger.”
“Well, your pillow is now much warmer and furrier, and if you’re anything like Dad, you’re going to develop severe separation anxiety if you’re away from her for more than a few hours. This is fairly unexplored territory, as there are so few unmated breeding females. I’d say I’m sorry, but I’m not. I’m of the opinion you’re one of the few acceptable options around here for my sister.” Joe checked out the window. “Good. She’s gone. Time for you to get a transfusion. Dad’s virus is spiked to the high heavens this morning, so it’s an ideal time to boost your incubating virus. I’ve never had a chance to seriously attempt inducing early onset maturing of the lycanthropy virus before. I accessed the CDC’s files last night after you went to bed; you check every last box on what they think is required for it to happen. I went ahead and called in the possibility, informed them of the medical malpractice suit I’ll be filing on your behalf due to the severe internal bleeding, and got an authorization to use Dad as a legal donor. You’ll have to sign some papers, but you’re cleared, and they’ll make an exception for your license with a few conditions, especially since you’re being courted by local law enforcement. They jumped on the non-hybrid test like flies on shit.”
Of course they had. “How much earlier? The virus typically takes decades to mature, correct?”
“Up to forty years in some. It’s considered a new lease on life; once the virus matures and shifting happens, aging is often somewhat reversed or halted. It’s a case by case scenario. In your case, aging will halt. I’ve got a high sensitivity scanner on route, but it and its technician will be a few days getting here. Ideally, Dad’s spiking virus is going to replicate in your body, finish healing the damage from the crash, and take root. If we get lucky, we could see matured virus levels within twenty-four hours.”
“That soon? And by matured, you mean I might sprout a fur coat?”
“That’s exactly what I mean. You’re to behave like you’re contagious until we can get the high sensitivity scanner over for a better look at your virus levels.”
“All right. What should I do to keep from passing the virus on to someone else?”
“Stick your tongue only down Sassy’s throat, only take Sassy to bed, and don’t bleed on anyone. Kissing won’t actually spread the virus, but I’m siding with my sister on this one. She’s hopeless, and she needs to get some action and land you already. You have one job to do. Don’t mess it up. I’ve heard this lecture enough times from Mom that I’m going to spare you from hearing it from my mother. Cheetah ladies do not want an overly considerate male in bed. Sassy’s going to be a handful, and all you’re going to do is frustrate her if you take the overly gentle route with her. I’m sparing you the descriptions of what my mother likes. You’re welcome.”
“Anything else I don’t want to know but you’re going to tell me anyway?”
“Some details about the downsides of early onset lycanthropy. The CDC’s file had a lot of information, and I have concerns.”
I considered crawling under the blanket and covering my head with Sassy’s pillow. “When a military surgeon tells me he has concerns, I worry.”
“That’s because you’re a chronic worrier.”
“While true, could you not? I’m already dealing with potentially bleeding to death from internal injuries.”
“You’re not potentially bleeding to death anymore.”
“Anymore.”
“Valid point, but you’ll be fine. Should I warn my sister you’re a whiner?”
I laughed. “I’m pretty sure she already knows.”
“All right. The downsides are going to be pretty uncomfortable for you. My theory is the virus slowly adapts the host to shapeshifting, taking a long time to mature so the first shift isn’t traumatic. You won’t have that luxury. I suspect when you go through your first shift, it’s going to be brutally painful, and you’ll be trapped as a cheetah for a few days. You’ll also be easily confused, potentially delirious, and prone to succumbing to a cheetah’s base instincts. There’s no gradual adaptation. You’re going to be sick as a cheetah, and when you shift back to human for the first time, you’re going to get sicker. You’re going to be so sick you’d rather participate in another crash.” Joe shrugged. “It’s not going to be fun for you, and you’ll likely require sedation. Worse, Sassy is going to freak out. If you haven’t mated properly before your first shift, her virus is going to spike, it’s going to spike hard, and she’ll be driven to claim you. While you’re ill. It’s going to get ugly.”
“Well, that explains the whole protective brother trying to talk me into sleeping with his sister thing.”
“Yeah, that’s not exactly the most comfortable thing I’ve done in my life. This is one of the more unique situations I’ve been in. I’m just glad I figured out you were it for my sister a long time ago, else I’d be even more uncomfortable than I already am.”
“I’m so relieved I’m not the only one who finds this conversation disturbing.”
Joe sat on the edge of the bed. “Sassy will be a problem. You’ll need to be prepared. Once you shift, she’s going to smell your pain and the spiking virus, and she’ll be prone to panicking. We’ve already seen how badly she’s panicked as a result of the crash. Her virus is going to spike, and her only concern will be protecting you.”
Laughing, I shook my head. “I’m her property at this point, aren’t I?”
“You figured that out quickly.”
“Anything else I need to know? This is survivable, right?”
“It is. Early onset is due to the virus going into overdrive to preserve your life. After your first shift and your body finishes adapting, your virus will go into remission to recover. That’s when Sassy’s protective instincts will peak. She’ll guard you while you’re adapting. During a normal first shift, lycanthropes don’t need to recover long as their viruses are naturally robust. They’re also more stable; the slow growth of their virus gives them a chance to control their new impulses. You’re going to be a powder keg set to blow. Obviously, do everything you can to stay away from the uninfected during the adjustment period. Until your virus is convinced you are Sassy’s mate, you’ll be annoying.”
“I’ll be annoying?”
“So Mom claims. I think you and my sister will be too busy keeping each other company to annoy bystanders. The annoying part will be your inaccessibility. I think you’ll be fine, and I’ll be on hand to make sure your transition goes as easily as possible. You ready to be poked and prodded again?”
“Only if you’re going to make sure I’m not going to bleed out from any new leaks.”
“That is the plan.”
“Then we better hurry so we’re done before Sassy gets back.”
“Don’t you worry about that. Tonight, we feast like kings, and Sassy will be gone for hours doing Mom’s bidding so she doesn’t earn a whooping.”
Poor Sassy.