A Word from Gary Smalley

By now you’ve figured out that the title Rejoice didn’t mean this book was full of only good times and celebration. Rather, the calling of every member of the Baxter family was to find joy in the midst of great trials and pain. Jesus tells us to be joyful always, to consider it pure joy when we face trials of many kinds, to rejoice in the Lord always.

Rejoice. It is the command of Christ that his people keep a positive outlook, that we find a reason to smile even through our tears. And the reason?

Because we are what we think.

In my years working with relationships, I’ve seen two of the principles in this book played out time and again. First, the idea that couples struggle when tragedy befalls them. And second, the truth that couples always do better when they choose to be joyful, regardless of life’s circumstances.

The following are five life seasons in which you will better serve your relationships by choosing to rejoice.

REJOICE IN THE MUNDANE

Though we will all go through hard times, most of us are not in the midst of a situation as difficult as the one faced by the Baxters after Hayley’s drowning. The key, then, is to find joy in the ordinary times. Many marriages are dying slow deaths because people walk through life half awake, passing each other in the halls and barely remembering to say hello. A woman once told me that she attended a barbecue with friends, and partway through the meal the host had her laughing hysterically over a funny story.

“I remember that it felt strange to smile, and then it hit me,” she said. “I couldn’t remember the last time I had smiled at home with either my husband or my kids.”

Sometime this week, when you’re doing nothing more than hanging around the house, catch your reflection in the mirror. If you haven’t smiled in the past hour, smile. Rejoicing in the mundane makes dull times become happy. Remember, act with your head. Your heart will follow.

REJOICE IN THE DETAILS

Life is full of countless hours spent sorting mail, paying bills, balancing checkbooks, and managing debt. These details are necessary, but they don’t need to rob us of our gladness. Next time you’re in the middle of such a task, put on uplifting music—worship songs or something that makes your heart sing. If music isn’t available, allow yourself to converse with the King of the Universe as you pay bills or sort mail. This type of determination will cause you to feel a kind of deeper joy, the joy God commands we have if we are to walk as a Christian.

I know a woman who does all such mundane tasks seated with her family watching a warm or fun-loving movie.

“I’ve never been much into movies,” she told me. “But that way I’m surrounded by those I love, and they think I’m watching a program with them. The tedious nature of paying bills or balancing a checkbook simply disappears in that setting. It’s my way of choosing to be filled with joy even while I’m doing something so simple.”

REJOICE IN FRUSTRATION

Recently a friend of mine told me about a bad day her twenty-year-old son had experienced. He had just spent a couple thousand dollars fixing his transmission, and that afternoon he had to be at the fire station for a professional picture with the rest of the firefighters. When he went out to his car, less than twenty-four hours after getting it back from the shop, the engine wouldn’t even turn over. He took his mother’s car and went to get his hair trimmed, but his hairdresser yelled at him for coming in before his hair had fully grown out. Flustered, he set out for the photo shoot and took the wrong exit off the freeway. By the time he found the right location, the picture had been taken.

He went home that day and gave his mom a hug. “The devil wants me to be mad, Mom. He’s been poking at me all day.” The young man grinned. “But not this time. It’s a great day, and you know what? I’ll figure out the car, things will be fine with the hairdresser, and next season I’ll make the photo shoot.” He shrugged. “No point wasting today over it.”

Therein lies the lesson. Don’t waste today by letting life’s little frustrations rob you of your joy. Determine to be joyful anyway. Practice makes perfect in this area. Pretty soon when someone asks how you are, you’ll answer, “Good!” And guess what? You’ll mean it!

REJOICE IN RESTORATION

Sin is one of the great thieves of joy. Our happiness can be robbed quickly when we get sucked into a familiar sin or any sin that causes us to be lost in shame, guilt, and the dark shadows of wrongdoing. One client of mine was having an affair for a year before the people at his medical office caught on.

“We were a group of Christian doctors, and we’d made our reputation that way,” the man explained. “They told me they wanted me to seek a period of time away from the office, a time for restoration.”

Initially, the requirements this man’s friends demanded of him seemed overwhelming. “I was more depressed than ever,” he said.

But then one of his closest friends reminded him of James 1, and the command of God to be joyful in trials. The man realized that God was pruning him, developing his perseverance, and that by choosing to embrace the discipline joyfully, he would grow from it.

As soon as his attitude changed, as soon as he began rejoicing about his restoration, the process began to unfold miraculously. He met with counselors, kept an open book of his life before his peers at the medical office, and six months later he and his wife were happier than they’d ever been.

“I’m sure it wouldn’t have happened,” he told me, “if I hadn’t determined to rejoice in the restoration process.”

REJOICE IN SORROW AND TRAGEDY

God understands grief. Jesus wept when he saw the crowd’s response to Lazarus in the tomb. Death, illness, and painful trials were never God’s intention for his people. Since the fall of man, it has been the way of the world. But even so, God gives us a way out of the misery.

Be joyful! Rejoice always!

This doesn’t mean you’ll never cry. To the contrary, if your heart is soft for God, you’ll cry often. You’ll weep when it’s your turn to stand vigil at a hospital bed, or when you stand there on behalf of someone else. But if you make a decision to rejoice, then deep inside you will always have a reason to go on, a reason to get up in the morning. Your grief won’t be that of a person without hope; rather you will grieve because pain and death and tragedy are sad. Very sad. But you will have hope because you will believe the truths that go along with faith in Christ. God is in control. . . . He has a plan for everyone who loves him. . . . Death is merely a door for those who believe in him. . . . And he will make good out of every situation.

See?

What other response could we have to that kind of God but joy?

For more information about how the concepts in the Redemption series can save or improve your relationships, contact us at:

The Smalley Relationship Center

1482 Lakeshore Drive

Branson, MO 65616

Phone: 800-84TODAY (848-6329)

Fax: 417-336-3515

E-mail: family@smalleyonline.com

Web site: www.smalleyonline.com