I GOT NO response from Heidi from my last letter. I was expecting something and I got nothing. It broke off another piece of my resolve. I’ve been trying my damnedest to keep going strong, and instead, I break down a little more every day. Honestly, I think it’s a long time coming. The stress from this entire ordeal is stretching me thin. I’m falling apart.

My thoughts are borderline obsessive as I run over all the ways my life is going to suck without Heidi. Then, I think of all the ways her life might suck without me. I try to come up with new ways to get her to see what she refuses to see. I start thinking about how I’m going to make sure I can sneak visits to Eden without having to run into Heidi. Because I’m not going to want to run into her. I realize that I will in fact have to make a call to my parents to say that I’m divorced.

Not going to lie that I even start wondering about the possibility of being traded away from Memphis. I’ll be away from Heidi, she can go to baseball games again, and maybe life would be bearable.

And after I have all of those thoughts, I start beating myself up for even thinking such things. I’ve promised Heidi I wouldn’t give up, and I won’t, but damn if I can’t stop thinking about the day I may have to. If Heidi doesn’t change her mind, if I have to sign those papers, then I will have to give up. I also promised her I would do that.

I harshly rub my hands over my face. This is exhausting. My phone rings and my heart stupidly skips a beat, hoping it’s Heidi.

It’s not. It’s Colby.

“Hey,” I answer. I still feel bad for blowing up at him.

“Want to come with me to Big Blue?”

“I really don’t feel like it.”

“Well then, it sucks to be you right now.” Before I can ask why, my doorbell sounds. Colby grins from the other side of the threshold when I open the door. “Put some shoes on and let’s go.”

“Do I have a choice?”

“Nope,” he smugly answers.

Sighing, I get some shoes on my feet, grab my wallet, and follow him to his vehicle. If he’s dragging me out of the comforts of my own home, then he can drive and take me back home. The entire drive there, he keeps looking at me, as if he’s expecting me to speak. I’m not in the mood, so I don’t. Tough shit for him.

As if the night couldn’t get worse, nearly all of the guys are crowded around two tables when we arrive.

“Sugar Daddy!” Hector yells when he spots us. I can’t help but laugh. Colby glares and Hector slaps me on the shoulder when I get close enough to him. “Let’s get the man a beer,” he tells the waitress.

Conversation seems to flow smoothly between everyone. Tanner is the butt of the jokes. Spencer tries to get Colby to hit on the waitress. Roman seems to like soaking in everyone’s behavior. Trent just keeps shaking his head and laughing. After my beer, I’m done drinking and ready to head home. Don’t get me wrong, hanging with the guys is fun, but I haven’t gotten much sleep lately, and I’m exhausted.

They don’t even give me the chance to bolt.

“So,” Trent begins in a tone I’ve heard him use with Kaelyn. “You’ve been in a sour mood lately.”

“We can all guess it has something to do with your wife,” Spencer adds.

“Because your separation is the only thing you ever constantly whine about,” Tanner says with a roll of his eyes.

“Am I having an intervention?” I interrupt as Roman opens his mouth. They all look a little guilty. You have got to be kidding me.

“We want you to know we’re here if you need us, and if there’s anything we can do to help, just ask,” Colby tells me.

I glare at him. “If I needed your help, I would have asked.” Like they could help me get my wife back! Colby should know better than to pull this shit. He actually knows what’s going on.

“The point,” Roman speaks up, “is we’re here if you need us.”

My shoulders, which I didn’t realize were tense, begin to relax. They all look concerned and sincere. “Thanks. I’ll work on my mood.”

They, too, seem to relax. Hector claps me on the shoulder. “Now that we’ve settled that.” He turns to Colby. “How’s online dating going, Sugar Daddy?”

Colby groans. “Any time you’re ready to leave, Jordan,” he tells me.

I laugh. “Oh, no. You brought me here for a damn intervention, then we’re staying until they’ve drilled you.”

He grumbles, but we don’t leave yet. Maybe the night won’t turn out so bad after all.

 

 

A shrill ringing annoys the hell out of me. I feel like I just fell asleep and now someone is calling me to wake me up? I blindly reach out to grab it from the nightstand, the charger yanking out as I pull it to my ear after swiping to answer.

“Yeah?” I grumble.

There’s a small pause and then, “Were you sleeping?”

I immediately sit up. “Heidi? Are you okay?” I glance at my clock; she should be at work. God, her voice sounds so good.

“I’m fine. Well, actually,” her voice trails off and my body goes rigid.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing bad,” she reassures me. “I have a flat and—”

“I always told you to call me to change it,” I finish for her.

“I can call someone though, if you don’t want to come or if you rather sleep some more.”

“No, I’ll come. Where are you? You have a spare and a jack, right?”

“Spare, but no jack.”

I laugh. “Okay, there’s one in mine.” I get out of bed, put it on speaker, and start to change while I talk to her. “I’ll let you use my car while I’ll get your tire taken care of, so you don’t get a rental again and you can go on to work. Give me two minutes to finish getting ready and I’ll be on my way.”

“Okay.” She tells me where she is. There’s a brief moment of silence. “Thanks, Jordan.”

“Any time,” I answer honestly.

We hang up and I quickly brush my teeth, slip on my shoes, and grab my things to go help her. I’m easily able to find her. She’s pacing next to her car on the side furthest away from the road. Is she nervous about seeing me? Does she regret calling me?

“There’s a nail in it,” she says when I get close enough. “I must have run it over yesterday; there were some pieces of plywood in the road and I didn’t see them in time to avoid them. I found it while I was waiting.”

“Okay. I’ll get it fixed. Do you want to go ahead and leave for work? I can handle changing it and everything.”

Heidi hesitates. I pop her trunk and lift the cover for her spare to give her time to think. She wants to leave; I can practically feel the urge coming off her in waves.

“I’ll wait until you’re done,” she finally says. “You may need help.”

I half smile to myself. We both know I won’t need help. While I start changing the tire, I decide to make conversation. “Did you get a massage yet?

“Yes, thank you. I felt so much better afterward.”

“Good.”

“So, I met Sofia. She’s nice.”

My hands freeze as I glance up at her. “What? How?”

“She came in for an appointment.”

Shit. I told her where Heidi worked. What was Sofia doing visiting my wife? “Sorry, Heidi. I swear, I didn’t ask her to go see you or anything. I saw her for my shoulder and she asked about my wife. I told her where you worked and described you. I didn’t know—”

“Jordan, it’s fine.” She sounds like she means it, so I keep working. “I figured you knew already actually.” I shake my head. But then, with my mood, I doubt Blake would have mentioned what his girlfriend did, and I’m sure he knows. “How did you describe me?” Heidi asks quietly, trying not to sound curious.

For a moment, I recall that memory. Then, I replay the words for her, “Stubborn, hard-headed, strong, caring, amazing.”

Heidi doesn’t say anything, and I don’t offer to speak again until her spare tire is on. I toss the flat one into the back and face her. We wordlessly exchange keys.

“Do I need to follow you to the repair shop? How are you going to get home? What are you going to drive? Don’t you have to be at practice soon?”

I shake my head to answer them all. “We have the day off. It won’t take long for them to fix it, so I’ll wait. Once it’s done, I’ll drop it off with you.” Swallowing hard, I add, “If you want, you can leave the keys where the gas cap is, so I don’t have to bother you at work, and I can leave your keys with your receptionist.”

“Okay, that sounds good.”

We stand there for a moment. She seems like she wants to say something, or do something. Suddenly, she throws her arms around my neck. “Thank you,” she whispers, oddly sounding emotional.

“It’s no big deal, Heidi.” It really isn’t.

She pulls away with a shy smile, and then I have to fuck things up by blurting out a simple, yet loaded down question.

“Can we have another night of normalcy?”

***