A Solstice

Drip-tree stillness. Spring-feeling elation

Of mid-morning oxygen. There is a yeasty simmering

Over the land – all compass points are trembling,

Bristling with starlings, hordes out of Siberia,

Bubbly and hopeful.

We stand in the mist-rawness

Of the sodden earth. Four days to Christmas.

We can hear the grass seeping.

                                                      Now a wraith-smoke

Writhes up from a far field, condenses

On a frieze of goblin hedge-oaks, sizzling

Like power-pylons in mist.

We ease our way into this landscape.

Casual midnightish draughts, in the soaking stillness.

Itch of starlings is everywhere.

                                                    The gun

Is old, rust-ugly, single-barrelled, borrowed

For a taste of English sport. And you have come

From eighteen years Australian estrangement

And twelve thousand miles in thin air

To walk again on the small hills of the West,

In the ruby and emerald lights, the leaf-wet oils

Of your memory’s masterpiece.

                                                      Hedge-sparrows

Needle the bramble-mass undergrowth

With their weepy warnings.

                                              You have the gun.

We harden our eyes. We are alert.

The gun-muzzle is sniffing. And the broad land

Tautens into wilder, nervier contrasts

Of living and unliving. Our eyes feather over it

As over a touchy detonator.

Bootprints between the ranks of baby barley

Heel and toe we go

Narrowed behind the broad gaze of the gun

Down the long woodside. I am your dog.

Now I get into the wood. I push parallel

And slightly ahead of you – the idea

Is to flush something for the gun’s amusement.

I go delicate. I don’t want to panic

My listeners into a crouch–freeze.

I want them to keep their initiative

And slip away, confident, impudent,

Out across your front.

                                                  Pigeons, too far,

Burst up from under the touch

Of our furthest listenings. A bramble

Claws across my knee, and a blackbird

Five yards off explodes its booby-trap

Shattering wetly

Black and yellow alarm-dazzlings, and a long string

Of fireworks down the wood. It settles

To a hacking chatter and that blade-ringing –

Like a flint on an axe-head.

                                                      I wait.

That startled me too.

I know I am a Gulliver now

Tied by my every slightest move

To a thousand fears. But I move –

And a jay, invisibly somewhere safe,

Starts pretending to tear itself in half

From the mouth backward. With three screams

It scares itself to silence.

                                                      The whole wood

Has hidden in the wood. Its mossy tunnels

Seem to age as we listen. A raven

Dabs a single charcoal toad-croak

Into the finished picture.

                                                      I come out

To join you in the field. We need a new plan

To surprise something.

                                              But as I come over the wire

You are pointing, silent.

I look. One hundred yards

Down the woodside, somebody

Is watching us.

A strangely dark fox

Motionless in his robe of office

Is watching us. It is a shock.

Too deep in the magic wood, suddenly

We meet the magician.

                                                      Then he’s away –

A slender figurine, dark and witchy,

A rocking nose-down lollop, and the load of tail

Floating behind him, over the swell of faint corn

Into the long arm of woodland opposite.

The gun does nothing. But we gaze after

Like men who have been given a secret sign.

We are studying the changed expression

Of that straggle of scrub and poor trees

Which is now the disguise of a fox.

And the gun is thinking. The gun

Is working its hunter’s magic.

It is transforming us, there in the dull mist,

To two suits of cold armour –

Empty of all but a strange new humming,

A mosquito of primaeval excitements.

And as we start to walk out over the field

The gun smiles.

The fox will be under brambles.

He has set up all his antennae,

His dials are glowing and quivering,

Every hair adjusts itself

To our coming.

                                                      Will he wait in the copse

Till we’ve made our move, as if this were a game

He is interested to play?

Or has he gone through and away over further fields,

Or down and into the blueish mass and secrecy

Of the main wood?

Under a fat oak, where the sparse copse

Joins the main wood, you lean in ambush.

Well out in the field, talking to air

Like quiet cogs, I stroll to the top of the strip –

Then pierce it, clumsy as a bullock, a careless trampling

Like purposeless machinery, towards you,

Noisy enough for you to know

Where not to point your blind gun.

Somewhere between us

The fox is inspecting me, magnified.

And now I tangle all his fears with a silence,

Then a sudden abrupt advance, then again silence,

Then a random change of direction –

And almost immediately –

Almost before I’ve decided we are serious –

The blast wall hits me, the gun bang bursts

Like a paper bag in my face,

The whole day bursts like a paper bag –

But a new world is created instantly

With no visible change.

I pause. I call. You do not answer.

Everything is just as it had been.

The corroded blackberry leaves,

The crooked naked trees, fingering sky

Are all the usual careful shapes

Of the usual silence.

I go forward. And now I see you,

As if you had missed,

Leaning against your tree, casual.

But between us, on the tussocky ground,

Somebody is struggling with something.

An elegant gentleman, beautifully dressed,

Is struggling there, tangled with something,

And biting at something

With his flashing mouth. It is himself

He is tangled with. I come close

As if I might be of help.

But there is no way out.

It is himself he is biting,

Bending his head far back, and trying

To bite his shoulder. He has no time for me.

Blood beneath him is spoiling

The magnificent sooted russet

Of his overcoat, and the flawless laundering

Of his shirt. He is desperate

To get himself up on his feet,

And if he could catch the broken pain

In his teeth, and pull it out of his shoulder,

He still has some hope, because

The long brown grass is the same

As it was before, and the trees

Have not changed in any way,

And the sky continues the same –

It is doing the impossible deliberately

To set the gun-muzzle at his chest

And funnel that sky-bursting bang

Through a sudden blue pit in his fur

Into the earth beneath him.

He cannot believe it has happened.

His chin sinks forward, and he half-closes his mouth

In a smile

Of ultimate bitterness,

And half closes his eyes

In a fineness beyond pain –

And it is a dead fox in the dank woodland.

And you stand over him

Meeting your first real Ancient Briton

In eighteen years.

And I stand awake – as one wakes

From what feels like a cracking blow on the head.

That second shot has ruined his skin.

We chop his tail off

Thick and long as a forearm, and black.

Then bundle him and his velvet legs

His bag of useless jewels,

The phenomenal technology inside his head,

Into a hole, under a bulldozed stump,

Like picnic rubbish. There the memory ends.

We must have walked away.