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The first thing in the morning, Janice dropped off the photos Harry requested. He took a look, then handed them to Amanda with a grin.
"I already have a good idea of where this one is going," he told her.
CJ came to see the photos, and they had a laugh over the expensive collars and dog names. Amanda jabbed her fingernail into one of the photos.
"The world would be a better place without that one," she sniffed. "Or at least a cleaner place. I'm going to rub some of Pop's hot sauce on my pant leg before I go over there again. Let's see how little Pistol Pete likes having a pickled pepper! His owner better not be counting on using him for breeding because that little boy will be squatting like a girl when I'm done with him. He may even need diapers."
CJ left Amanda to work on the photos. A short while later Amanda called Harry and CJ to look at the photos of the dog collars. She sorted them and turned over the pictures showing the face of the collars. The remaining photos showed the backs of collars were all engraved.
"I'm going to make a couple calls. When I solve my first case I expect Handsome to come through with a great big bonus," she told them as she left the room.
"Don't burst her bubble," CJ warned Harry. Ten minutes later Amanda sailed back into the conference room.
"Am I right, or am I right?" she asked. CJ laughed, and Amanda continued, "It's okay, CJ, because there's no wrong answer. I'm right! They all had the collars engraved at the same local jeweler."
"Good work," Harry said. "Now what are you going to do?"
"Call the cops and have his thieving ass arrested," she replied.
"Who are they going to arrest?" he asked. "The engraver, the clerk, the janitor? You have to come up with more than that to make a case."
"Quit spoiling my victory lap," Amanda sniffed. Then she glared at Harry. "I want a new partner," she complained. "You're not pulling your weight."
Harry just grinned. "No, you don't, Amanda. You're perfectly capable of figuring this one out on your own. What's the next logical step to identify the person you're after?"
"I'm going to call Janice and see if any of her friends recently had an expensive collar engraved."
"Then what?" Harry persisted.
"This is where you step in, Handsome, and pretend to be a dog walker," Amanda said. "I wouldn't want you to feel that you've contributed nothing to this case... which so far HAS been the case." She narrowed her eyes when he shook his head.
"You see it through," he told her. "If it gets dangerous, then I'll step in."
"It's already been dangerous," Amanda snapped. "What with that exhibitionist rubbing his little goods all over my nice slacks! I had to wash them twice just to make sure I wouldn't get attacked by a pack of rabid, perverted dogs who picked up on the scent of his nasty little habit! It's not safe on the streets when you have that rubbed on your clothes. Someone needs to take him to classes, so he knows how to use his equipment properly. Wasting it on a leg won't get him any puppies."
"Maybe he thought you were in heat, Amanda," CJ grinned.
"Are you standing in for Stubbles now?" Amanda demanded with her hands on her hips. "If so, I'm filing a formal protest!"
Then she turned to Harry. "I'll call Janice and I'll even be the dog walker. But I expect a bonus for my extra effort."
***
Amanda returned from lunch dressed in jeans, a T-shirt, and tennis shoes. "I'm undercover," she announced, holding out a red vest from a dog walking service.
"I have to go pick up Crumpet in a few minutes and take it for a walk. Janice's friend just had a pricey new engraved collar put on her dog. She's agreed to let us ensure its safety during the daily walks," Amanda explained.
"Amanda, did you promise that woman her dog wouldn't be snatched? We weren't hired for that," Harry said.
"Of course not!" she snapped. "Although she might have drawn that conclusion, but that's her problem not mine. Besides, what's the extra chip in the collar for? That's so you can follow those thieves and get the collar back. Oh, and the dog."
"Looks like you're playing shadow the dog walker today," CJ told Harry, patting him on the back. "Better find those walking shoes. How many walks are you scheduled for, Amanda?"
"Two this afternoon, then as soon as the whistle blows for quitting time she's on her own! I hope that dog snatcher gets with the program and makes his move soon. I don't want to spend tomorrow beating the sidewalks too." She left the room and Harry reluctantly followed with a sigh.
He stopped at the door and looked hopefully at CJ. She shoved him out the door. "This was your brainchild, Harry. You figure it out." He grumbled as he left the office.
Amanda popped in and out of the office for her dog walking duties that afternoon. After her final outing for the day she was cranky.
"Mrs. H, if your hubby scared away those dog-nappers it goes on his record that the job failed! I still expect hazard pay. Little Whizzer had to stop every ten seconds to piddle. You might want to mention to her owners that she has a bladder issue and they should get it taken care of. Especially before I have to play doggie road rash with that thing again. Are there classes that teach dogs how to walk without getting dragged? Because she could use them. And those missing patches of fur? NOT my fault! Make sure you explain that."
"Now I'm going home to soak these feet," she announced. "Handsome, you better have an extra pair of shoes ready for tomorrow- in case my feet give out." She left the office and Harry turned to CJ with a glare.
"Are we paying her to sit on benches and eat ice cream cones?" he asked. "She saved her food receipts as expenses!"
"We are if it's part of her undercover job. But if you'd like I can find her something closer to a bar," she offered.
Harry turned white and shook his head. Paying a bar tab for Amanda would put a serious dent in the company profits. CJ patted him on the cheek and grinned. "Look at it this way- you're both learning valuable lessons."
He swore and her hand slipped to his shoulder and she squeezed her fingers.
"Just kidding," Harry smiled as he winced with pain. CJ knew all the pressure points to cause the maximum amount of discomfort with the minimum amount of effort.
"That's what I thought you said," she smiled. "Now take me home and cook me a good meal, because I've had a hard day," she teased.
In the morning, Harry found Amanda trying to convince CJ to take over dog walking duties for the day. CJ laughed in her face before she closed her office door. Amanda turned to Harry with a peeved look. Then she grumbled as she left out the back door to drive to the job, slamming the door behind her. An hour later she returned. The opening crash of the back door announced her return.
"That fat thing must weigh fifty pounds. I know because it refused to walk, and I had to carry it most of the way," she steamed.
She hunted Harry down as he tried to hide in his office. "You're on backup duty, mister. I'm packing my pistol and if that lazy dog refuses to walk I'll just put that miserable manatee out of my misery and blame it on the dog-napper! I wonder how much it costs to get diamonds reset?" She didn't wait for an answer but went to her desk.
CJ poked her head into Harry's office. "Enjoy," she said, handing him a cup of coffee.
"How did giving a case to Amanda turn into a headache for me?" he asked CJ.
"I'm just glad you're the one who has such faith in young love, and not me. Otherwise I'd be in your shoes, waiting to hit the sidewalks with Amanda in anticipation of a dog-napping."
"Is that supposed to make me feel better?" he scowled.
"Nope, it's just an observation," she replied.
"Well, thanks a lot. This job is killing me, CJ!" She patted his head and left him grumbling.
When Amanda shot him an evil look from his doorway, he knew it was time for the next walking. "Wish us luck," he pleaded to CJ as Amanda hauled him down the hall and out the door.
***
"Amanda, you have to wear the vest and you have to walk the dog," Harry insisted as he parked on the street in front of the client's house. "I'll drive ahead to the park and meet you there."
"That's not how it's supposed to work," she yelled as Harry's SUV pulled away from the curb. She muttered her way to the front door, then pasted on a smile as the maid brought Crumpet to the front door, leashed and ready to walk. Amanda took the leash and walked Crumpet to the park. She saw Harry hiding behind a newspaper in his SUV, the coward. With a huff she told Crumpet they were stopping for lunch at a park vendor.
She was standing in line when she realized one hooded jogger had circled the park at least twice. She glanced in Harry's direction and saw he was on full alert as well. He still held the newspaper, but his attention was outside. A panel van slowly cruised the street next to the park and pulled into an empty spot where it idled.
Amanda looked down at Crumpet and said, "Listen, fatso, you better not blow this for me."
But Crumpet's attention wasn't on Amanda. Her tail thumping, she stared at a child in a stroller eating a hot dog. Amanda glanced at the SUV. It was empty. Well, if that wasn't just like a man, going to take a pee when he was needed elsewhere.
The food vendor asked for her order and she turned to him. As she did, Crumpet saw her chance and lunged for the child in the stroller. The little girl screamed and dropped her hot dog. Crumpet snatched the hot dog and took off at a pace that had Amanda steaming.
"Get back here, you lard butt faker," she yelled. "I hope you get strangled by that leash."
Great, now the hooded jogger joined in the pursuit of Crumpet. Where was Harry? He was supposed to be the back-up for when this thing fell apart. And when was that dog going to stop running and take a second to eat the pilfered hot dog?
A few minutes later Amanda gave up the foot race, muttering to the dog, "I hope they make an exception and kill you."
She stopped and bent over to catch her breath. When she looked up, the jogger turned back and gave her a mean smile of victory. Amanda flipped her finger and said, "Same to you." He grabbed the dog and ran a short distance before stopping. Amanda dug into her fanny pack and pulled out a remote control. When the jogger grabbed the collar to make sure it was the real deal Amanda jammed the remote control button.
The jogger let out a scream and dropped Crumpet, who yelped and bit his leg. He was hopping from the bite and shaking his still tingling hand when Harry ran past Amanda. "It's about time," she snapped. "I thought I'd have to take down the whole gang by myself while you napped." She ignored the fight between Harry and the jogger.
"A little help?" Harry yelled sarcastically as he ducked another punch.
"Just get out of the way and let me handle it," Amanda ordered as she approached the fighting men. She pulled her pistol out of the fanny pack and pointed it at them. Then she aimed and missed the jogger's foot by a few inches. Both men stopped as the dirt spewed, and the jogger raised his hands.
"If you move the next one goes through some part you might consider important," Amanda warned him. "Cuff him, Harry!"
Harry was dirty and sweaty from the fight. He gave Amanda a scathing look, and she narrowed her eyes at him. "You want to go find the thieving cannibal instead? He stole a hot dog and started this whole thing."
"Put that gun away, Amanda," Harry warned as he held the jogger.
"I might need it for protection," Amanda replied. "Or in case I need to slow down that piece of dog meat I've been hauling around for the last two days."
"I doubt it," Harry said, nodding his head toward a tree. Crumpet was under the tree harking out the hot dog and everything else she'd eaten that day.
"Great. Now I've got to carry a puking dog? I think it's time you picked up the slack on this one, Harry. Because I'm about to have an exhaustion stroke, so you take that dog back where it belongs while I get the lunch I missed."
The police officer that Harry summoned to the van now made his way through the gathering crowd and took the jogger off Harry's hands. "Arrest that woman," the jogger yelled. "She's trying to kill me. She electrocuted me, sicced her dog on me, then shot at me!"
The officer turned to Amanda. "Is any of that true, ma'am?" he asked.
"Ooh, a man in uniform arrives to save the day," Amanda replied as she looked him up and down. "Where have you been all my life?" The officer cleared his throat nervously and repeated his question.
Amanda smoothed her hands down her full curves and said, "Of course not. How could I electrocute him? I think he's on mind altering drugs. Make sure you run a drug test on him! And I don't own a dog. He probably kicked a stray that was trying to defend itself."
"How about a firearm?"
"Oh, I'm licensed to carry, and I'd be happy to go practice with you anytime," Amanda offered.
"Uh, ma'am, I mean are you carrying a firearm now? Did you shoot at this man?"
"Do I look like I'm carrying a concealed weapon?" she asked the officer. Harry hid his smile at the look on the officer's face. That was a loaded question, and he wisely chose not to answer.
"You see something in my fanny pack you like? You're welcome to frisk me," Amanda invited, lifting her arms in the air. He turned red and declined the offer, hauling the protesting jogger away. Amanda said under her breath, "And for the record I didn't shoot at that man. I missed him on purpose."
She turned to Harry and berated him for dropping the ball when he was needed. "I was letting the air out of the van tires while I waited for the police to arrive," he replied, his face still red with frustration.
"Well, I guess if you helped capture the one in the van then you were worth bringing along," Amanda sniffed. "Now why don't you go take that dog back to the VanderPoochies or whoever it belongs to? And don't forget to take off the shock collar. I had Joey make a special one with all the prongs pointing out. He might have upped the voltage on the remote as well. Maybe I should have brought a cattle prod too."
Harry approached the dog cautiously. "You put on the second collar that looks like spikes?"
"It didn't put itself on, Handsome. Do I need to do all the thinking on this job? You should be thanking me for the foresight of putting a silencer on my weapon or you might be down at the station now answering questions," she replied. "Now you run along while I get some lunch, then you can come pick me up."
Harry didn't move, and she put her hands on her hips. "Do I need to call the boss? Because I have her on speed dial. It's a wonder this business ever got anywhere with your uncooperative attitude. Now, do you want me to order you something or are you... I'll take that as a no. Don't forget to pick me up," she yelled after him.