It was late when she returned from Granny Blue’s. Almost ten o’clock.
Her mind worried over thoughts of Ridge, preoccupied, distracted. She forgot to bar the front door with her foot as she entered and the orphaned orange tabby kitten shot around her ankles into the night.
Sprinting for freedom.
“Dammit Dart!” she hollered, getting knocked down by Buddy and Bess as they chased after the kitten in an exuberant, we-wanna-play-too hullabaloo. “Get back here!”
Right. Like that was happening.
She grabbed hold of Buddy’s and Bess’s collars and wrangled them back into the house, shut the door, and went after Dart.
The half-moon was out, ghostly and white.
She walked around the house, calling “kitty, kitty, kitty,” finally spied Dart scaling the only tall tree in the area. A big Texas walnut growing against the side of the house that someone had planted a long time before Kaia had been born.
Great. How was she going to get him down? She couldn’t trust he’d come down on his own, and leave him be. Not at night. Not in the dark. Too many predators in the desert.
Remembering a trick she’d seen in the old movie Roxanne, where fireman C. D. Bales, played by Steve Martin sporting a fake Cyrano de Bergerac big nose, rescued a cat from a tree, Kaia went into the house for a can of tuna, came back outside, opened the pop-top lid, and set the can underneath the tree.
“Yum, yum. It’s tuna. Dinnertime. Come and get it.”
Dart crawled deeper into the leaves of the tree, eyed her suspiciously, but did not come down. Well so much for that trick. Steve Martin owed her a can of tuna.
“Dart, darling, come down, come down. Kitty, kitty, kitty.”
Dart scooted higher into the tree. So much for her cat seducing abilities. If her sisters could see her now, they’d have a good laugh.
“If you’re not going to come down, I’m going to have to come after you,” she threatened.
Oh yeah? Oblivious to her threats, Dart never looked down, just kept climbing.
She blew out her breath so hard it ruffled the strands of hair that had floated loose from her braids. She went back into the house past Buddy and Bess, who jumped all over her like they hadn’t seen her in ages.
“Yes, yes, good dogs.” She paused to pet them.
She went to the pantry, retrieved the stepladder she kept there. It was just tall enough to boost her up to the first limb of the tree.
Back outside, under the glow of the porch lamp, she steadied the stepladder as best she could on the uneven ground. Thick, gnarled, tree roots poked up and she straddled the ladder between them. Climbed to the top rung. Slung one blue-jeaned leg over the lowest branch.
“Okay, we’re cooking with kerosene now, baby.”
Carefully, she moved to the next limb and the next. After several long minutes, she reached the thin, shaky limb where Dart was perched. Made the mistake of glancing down.
Crapple!
She had to be at least seven feet off the ground.
Don’t think. Keep moving.
Dart, the little bugger, was being darn stubborn. Kaia scooted out as far as she dared on the limb, but the orange tabby edged out onto finger branches.
“I thought we had a deal. I take you in, give you all the love I have and in return, you don’t act like a jerk when I try to save you from yourself.”
“Mew.”
“You know there are night animals that see you as a tasty treat. Coyotes, foxes, owls . . . If you don’t want to be someone’s midnight snack, I suggest you come to Mama.”
“Mew.”
“No? Is it me? Tell me, where did I go wrong?”
Dart’s tail switched and he buried himself so deeply into the shadows she could barely see him.
“C’mere, sweetheart.” Kaia fished a liver treat from her pocket, hoped he liked that better than tuna, and set it on a knothole in the branch between them. “There’s more where that came from. Consider me your gravy train.”
Dart hunched into a tiny ball, curled his tail around him tight, and stared narrow-eyed at her.
“What? When have I ever done you wrong? Name one time.”
“Mew.”
“Not buying it, huh?”
She heard the rumble of a truck engine, straightened up on the limb, and craned her neck to see who it was.
Archer’s SUV.
With Ridge behind the wheel.
Her heart was a rocket, shooting to the moon. He’d come back!
From her vantage point hidden in the tree branches she could see him, but he couldn’t see her.
Ridge got out of the pickup.
Kaia’s stomach flipped and her chest squeezed tight and her pulse was a wild thing, writhing through arteries and veins.
What was he doing here? Why was he back so soon? Was everything okay with his father?
He sauntered up the sidewalk, headed for her house. He had no idea she was in the tree.
Kaia couldn’t help taking advantage of the opportunity and ogled his backside. She leaned over the edge of the branch, watching his back pockets sway.
Nice, very nice.
He adjusted his Stetson, pushing it back on his head, as if he had something serious to tell her. He rang her doorbell.
She canted her head, appreciating how his tight-fitting Wranglers cupped his muscular butt.
Whew-wee! Perspiration broke out on her forehead and in um . . . other places.
She let go of the branch with one hand, used it to fan herself.
Dart picked that moment to dash down from his perch higher on the same limb and he came flying toward her, nimble as a squirrel. He ran straight at her, his kitten claws catching in her hair.
She shrieked.
So did Dart.
And the next thing she knew, Kaia was lying on her back on the ground, guppy-gasping for air.
“Kaia.” Ridge knelt beside her. “Speak to me.”
She would if she could, but she couldn’t catch her breath.
He scooped her into his arms, held her close to his chest, and carried her into the house. She waved her hand, trying to get him to wait, to go look for Dart, but he wasn’t paying attention.
“He . . . he . . . he . . .” She wheezed, partially from the air being knocked out of her lungs and partially because she was in his arms.
Gently, he settled her on the sofa, and looked down at her, concern knitting his face.
She nodded, still struggling to inhale with seized-up lungs.
“Shh,” he said. “Wait until you get your breath back.”
She nodded. Buddy and Bess came over to lick her face, thumping their tails and looking concerned.
“Dart,” she finally got out.
“What?” He looked confused.
She swung her legs off the sofa, tried to get up, but dizziness swamped her. Whoa! She sank back against the cushions.
“Are you all right?” Ridge’s voice was stuffed with concern and his hands were gentle on her body. “Are you hurt?”
“I’m fine, but . . . wait a minute. What are you doing here? I thought you went to pick up Duke in El Paso.”
“I did. I’m back.”
“So quickly? Why aren’t you still with him?” she asked, hoping he’d tell her he couldn’t stay away from her one second longer than necessary.
He shifted his gaze, glanced away from her. “We had it out. Big-time.”
“Over what?”
“My mother. Vivi. Everything.”
“That’s good. Right? You finally cleared the air after all this time.”
He shook his head. “Nothing changed.”
“Oh Ridge, I’m sorry.”
He shrugged like a snake shedding old skin, as if it were nothing, as if he wasn’t lacerated inside. But Kaia knew the difference. She knew how desperately he craved his father’s approval, even if he couldn’t admit it, even to himself.
“I’m leaving,” he said. “I came to tell you goodbye.”
“Tonight?” She heard tension in her voice, felt it grip and crawl, squeezing her stomach, her lungs, her throat. Moving up to her head, throbbing at her temples. “You’re leaving tonight?”
“I have to go,” he said. “Immediate problems in China.”
“I see.”
“It’s my livelihood, Kaia.”
“I understand.”
“People depend on me.”
“I get it.”
“It’s—”
“You don’t have to explain.” She cut him off because she couldn’t bear to hear anymore. He was leaving. She knew it was going to happen. But she’d convinced herself that they would have a few more days together. “I have problems of my own. Dart’s missing. We’ve got to find Dart.”
“The kitten?”
“Yes, the kitten. He got out of the house, ran up the tree. I tried to rescue him. He took off. He’s out there. In the night. Alone.”
“I’ll go look for him.” Ridge straightened.
“I’m coming too.” She pushed off from the sofa, pushed through the dizziness. “There’s a flashlight on the foyer table.”
“You fell from a tree. Rest.”
“I’m fine. Dart won’t come to you. Remember the last time?”
He put a hand to his chest where Dart had scratched him. “Point taken.”
“Let’s go.” She muscled past him, headed for the door.
“Stubborn,” Ridge muttered, but he did not try to make her stay.
Ridge shone the flashlight in bushes and trees. They searched her entire two-acre lot, calling and calling and calling. Then moved to the back alley, peeking behind Dumpsters, looking over fences into the neighbors’ yards.
No sign of Dart.
What if they didn’t find him? What if he was gone for good? Anxiety was a corkscrew, punched into her chest, twisting and twisting. Tighter and tighter the later it got.
Finally, at midnight, the flashlight battery gave up the ghost, winked out. Plunging them in darkness in the middle of an open field a block away from her house.
“What do you want to do now?” Ridge asked. “If you want to get a fresh battery and search all night, I’m with you.”
His words were a comfort. She appreciated the sentiment. But it was temporary. In his mind, he was already gone.
“You need to go,” she said.
“I can stay until we find the kitten.”
“We may never find him. He’s hard to tame.”
Kaia remembered what Ridge had said when Dart had taken off before. Once a runner, always a runner. She had not wanted to believe that. Had hoped her love would sway him to stay.
Hope.
Her greatest strength, according to Granny Blue. But was it also her greatest flaw? Hoping against hope Hoping when all hope was gone. Hoping a kitten would change his stripes. Hoping a man would too.
Foolishness. Utter foolishness. She could hope until she was blue in the face and it would not alter a thing. They were who they were.
Both Dart and Ridge.
She thought of an inane poster Aria had tacked on their shared bedroom wall when they were teenagers. If you love something set it free. If it comes back it’s yours. If not, it was never meant to be.
“Are we giving up?” Ridge asked.
Heart scraping the ground, Kaia nodded. “It’s over.”
“Wait,” he said, moonlight carving his face in silhouette, half light, half dark. “Are we talking about the cat?”
“No.”
“Kaia.” He reached for her, his voice dusky as the Milky Way overhead.
She stepped back, away from his hand, out of range. “You should go.”
“We need to talk about what you said to me before I went to get Duke.”
“There’s nothing to say. You’re leaving. You can’t get along with your father. You’ll never be comfortable in Cupid.” You can’t tell me you love me.
“Come with me.”
Her heart skip-thumped, bump-bump, bump-bump. “To China?”
“Yes.”
“I’m returning to A&M in September.”
“You could come back then.”
Hope. Hope. Hope. Her imagination flew to China with Ridge, pictured living there with him. How easy it would be. How exciting.
“No,” she said, shocking herself by sounding so forceful.
“No?” He looked blindsided. Had he really expected her to say yes?
“It’s better to cut bait now. Cleaner.” She didn’t know where the courage to say what needed to be said was coming from. The weak part of her wanted to sail into his arms and cover his face with kisses.
“But the humming you hear when we kiss . . . that legend. I thought . . .”
“The Song of the Soul Mate.”
“I thought you believed in it.”
“I do.”
“So why are you breaking up with me?” He canted his head, gazed at her in hurt confusion.
“Sweetheart,” she said as kindly and gently as possible, her heart breaking for him. He truly did not get it. “I can’t break up with you. We were never together.”
He chuffed out a breath, ran a palm up the back of his neck, looked utterly lost.
The breeze gusted. Kaia shivered in the darkness, crossed her arms over her chest. “You should go.”
“If it wasn’t a billion-dollar deal on the line—”
“It would be something else.”
“What does that mean?” His voice turned flinty, flat.
“It’s okay. I’m not judging you.”
“What do you mean?”
She searched his face, trying to decipher what he was feeling. But he was so good at erecting barriers, hiding his emotions. His eyes were hooded, guarded. Cautious.
“You hide behind your work and achievements. It’s your shield.”
He blinked at her as if she were speaking a foreign language. “Huh?”
“You use success as a substitute for love and acceptance. It’s understandable, considering where you came from. But the deal is, you don’t even realize that’s what you’re doing. You think being a workaholic is a virtue, not an impediment to what you really want.”
“And what do I want?” His sarcasm was a knife blade, cutting and cold.
“The same as anyone else.” She offered him the kindest smile she could muster. “Love. Belonging. You just don’t know how to open your heart and let it come to you.”
“Got me all figured out, huh?” His eyes empty. Dead.
“You’ve got this one way of being in the world that has served you well so far. But now it’s stopped working,” she went on. She might as well tell him what she thought. She had nothing left to lose. He was already lost to her unless something shifted.
A grimace pulled his mouth down, but he said nothing.
“I love you, Ridge. I love you with all my heart and soul. That will never ever change.” She paused. Giving him a chance to say he loved her too. Holding on to the seconds. Ten. Twenty. Thirty.
He did not speak.
All right. He wasn’t ready.
She inhaled deeply. “But I can’t put my life on hold for you, waiting for you to decide you love me back. And even if you could tell me you loved me, I can’t be with you. Not until you get over this anger you have toward your father. Did he treat you badly? Hell yes. No doubt. No one will argue that point with you.”
His eyes were a laser, searing her hot and long, but still he said nothing.
“But you have to forgive him if you want to move on with your life. You have to drop the baggage you’ve been carrying. The baggage you’ve used to push you hard and fast. You’ve built your entire identity on showing him up.”
Ridge pressed his lips together so tightly they disappeared.
“News flash, you achieved your goal. You have bested him. You’ve made more money. You’ve made a bigger mark in the world. You’ve reached the pinnacle of success. You’re on Mount Everest. There are no more peaks left to conquer.”
He was breathing hard and fast, his chest puffing up like a fire-breathing dragon.
She lowered her voice to a whisper. “It’s time to let all that go. It’s time to find out who you are without Duke influencing your every move.”
God, he was so stoic. Ridge. How apt his name.
Unbending. Inflexible. Stony.
“If you really want to be with me, you’ll stay here.” She moistened her lips. “You’ll let your employees do their jobs in China. You’ll forgive Duke and Vivi. You’ll forgive yourself. And in the process, you’ll find out who you really are. And once you find yourself, we can start to build something. If that is what you want. Until then . . .” She shrugged. It took everything she had inside of her not to show him how much this was killing her.
“You done?” he asked, tight-lipped and blank faced.
“Yes.”
“You’re wrong.”
“If I’m wrong, then stay and prove it to me.”
“I have to go.”
“I know.”
“I wish it could be different. I’m sorry.”
“Me too,” she said, her heart shattering into a bazillion little pieces. “But you’ve got nothing to apologize for. You are who you are. This is your way. What was it you said to me about Dart? Once a runner, always a runner?”
He cringed as if she’d hauled off and slapped him across the face as hard as she could. He flinched.
Then turned and walked away.
Leaving Kaia utterly broken.