It was well past dark when Caroline stepped out of Cobalt Community Hospital into the crisp, cool air.
The top of her left arm and shoulder were numb thanks to the injection a nurse had given her prior to receiving a half dozen stitches. The doctor confirmed no bones were broken and that, in spite of knocking her head on the boardwalk, her skull and everything inside of it checked out okay.
She could have been admitted overnight for observation, but she didn’t want to stay any longer than she had to. She was anxious to get back to the house. Even though she’d spoken to both her mom and Dylan on the phone, she still wanted to see for herself that they were okay.
Zane walked beside her, constantly sweeping his gaze across their surroundings. Matt walked ahead, his holster unbuckled and his hand resting on his service revolver.
“Any updates on the search for those creeps who tried to kill us?” She directed her question to Matt. It had been a couple of hours since she last talked to him or to Zane. She had given her statement to a detective, and a female officer she’d never met before had guarded the examining room while she was getting checked out by the doctor.
“Forensics is still going over the van,” Matt answered without turning around. “We’ve got officers canvassing the neighborhood where it was originally stolen as well as the area where it was ditched. And we’re interviewing witnesses, taking descriptions and having people look at mug shots. We’ll have you take a look at them after you’ve gotten some rest.”
Matt’s patrol car was at the end of a short walkway outside a secondary entrance at the back of the hospital. The plan was to keep her departure as low-key as possible. A second patrol car idled behind Matt’s, with two officers standing outside the vehicles, keeping an eye on the few cars driving by on the narrow street.
Cobalt was a small mountain town that had experienced a population explosion after being featured in several outdoor living online magazines and television shows over the last few years. The high-end Cobalt Resort had gone up on the edge of the lake, its owners hoping to capitalize on people’s love of pristine nature combined with luxury accommodations.
Staffing the resort had significantly added to the town’s population above and beyond the tourists, which led to far too many people for the authorities to keep in check. City services were struggling to keep up and the police department was stretched thin. They had enough problems on their hands without giving Caroline a personal escort and the assurance of round-the-clock armed babysitters for at least the next twenty-four hours.
“I think Matt can probably get me home safely,” Caroline said to Zane as they reached the end of the walkway. “You might as well head on home. And thank you, again.”
He looked down at the hand she’d extended to him and then up into her eyes. He lifted an eyebrow. “You want to shake hands and say good-bye?”
“You saved my life today.” Her voice wavered a little and she cleared her throat. “You don’t need to do anything else.”
On the ride from the office complex to the hospital she’d formed a long mental list of questions for him. But she’d held back on asking any of them. It didn’t seem like the right time or place. Then, while she was in the hospital’s treatment room, she’d thought about how much she truly deserved answers. And apologies. It was just a step beyond that to deciding that no apology would ever be sufficient; no explanation would make up for the pain he had caused her. She’d focused her energy on building up her anger for Zane because that was more tolerable than facing the dark, twisting fear for herself and her family that threatened to overwhelm her.
Anger felt less threatening right now. And she had a right to be angry. Her entire family had welcomed him into the fold. They all had loved him. Or thought they did. Obviously he hadn’t been the person they had believed he was. After all, he had decided to leave town rather than stay and face his criminal father. He could have assisted the Cobalt police department, but he had chosen not to. Which made it especially strange that he was employed by them as a reserve officer now.
She’d worked herself into a pretty good snit while getting her shoulder patched up, telling herself that he probably wouldn’t even be there in the waiting room when the doctor was finished. That he would have abandoned her again. But there he was. And at the sight of him she felt something like an arrow pierce her being.
She wasn’t happy to see him. She couldn’t be. She decided she was annoyed that he hadn’t left her side like she’d asked when they’d departed the office complex. Yes, he saved her life and she was truly grateful. But his staying around made everything more miserable and complicated. It stirred up memories and feelings she wanted to keep neatly tucked away. She didn’t want to yell at him or argue with him. She just wanted to be done with him—the way she thought she had been for all those years.
It was on the tip of her tongue to confirm that she really did want him to go away as they stood at the end of the walkway. But then she thought of something she’d always heard but truly learned only after her father’s death. She’d been reminded of the same lesson again after Owen’s passing—life is short. And fragile. We can’t afford to hold on to our grudges as long as we’d like to. The time to forgive is now.
She took a deep breath, blew it out and felt her body relax just a little. Sure, she may not be ready to forgive quite yet, but she could at least be polite and give him an explanation.
“Look, my mom’s already upset,” she said in a calmer tone. “She doesn’t need the shock of seeing you right now after all these years. It’ll just make things worse.”
“What happened with your mom?” Zane asked gently. “Has she been ill?”
Caroline hesitated. It wasn’t something she wanted to talk about right now.
“I’ll stay outside of the house,” he quickly added. “I’ll make sure your mom doesn’t see me.” He cleared his throat. “Please let me help you. It’s something I can do for Owen.”
She felt a pang in her heart. “He loved you like a brother.”
“I felt the same way.” Zane rubbed his chin. “We crossed paths and I spoke to him a couple of times after I came back to Cobalt.”
Caroline felt her jaw slacken and for a few seconds she was speechless. “I can’t believe he didn’t tell me.” She shook her head. Why would Owen keep that from her?
“It was only twice. And the first conversation went pretty rough.” A half smile flashed across his face. “Owen wasn’t a kid anymore. And he was very protective of you. Didn’t want to tell me where you were. Told me he would let you know he saw me and find out if you wanted to talk to me before he’d share a word about you. But I think he wanted to get a handle on me first before letting you know.”
Her little brother had thought he needed to take care of her? Ridiculous.
And touching. Owen had been carrying more of a burden on his shoulders than she’d realized. Weathering a painful divorce after being abandoned by his wife. Summoning all the emotion and patience and energy it took to raise a small boy while starting his own business. And maybe getting dragged into something else that had gotten him killed.
Zane was watching her intently, waiting for her response.
“I guess it would be all right if you came along on this one ride out to the house,” she said. “Just stay out of view of my mom and my nephew. And afterward you stay away from all of us.”
“If that’s what you want.”
They reached Matt’s patrol car. He had Caroline sit in the back seat with Zane beside her. One of the officers that had been watching the street slipped into the front passenger seat. He introduced himself as Shane, but didn’t say anything more.
A shiver passed through Caroline as they pulled away from the hospital. The life she’d carefully built in California had started unraveling the moment she’d heard Owen was murdered. Now someone was trying to kill her. She also had her mom and nephew relying on her and no idea what to do next.
She glanced out the window at the disappearing lights of town as they followed the curving road along the lake. The Cobalt Resort shone like a golden beacon and reflected on the rippling surface of the dark water. After a couple of miles the road became a highway and turned away into the forest. Caroline blew out a breath. Please, Lord, keep Dylan and Mom safe. And help me know what to do.
* * *
Zane had had plenty of experience with night patrols in enemy territory. At least this transport of Caroline along an Idaho highway wasn’t being conducted on foot. And the chances of coming across an improvised explosive device were pretty slim.
On the other hand, they had little protection. No helmets. No body armor. No air support to fall back on.
Yeah, he was overthinking things. He knew it. It was a post-combat survival instinct that would likely never go away. That’s what the therapist told him when he’d sought help six months after returning from his second tour in Afghanistan, after he’d found himself unable to drive past a broken-down car by the side of the road or anything else that looked like a potential trap. Anything and everything out of the ordinary made him wary.
He’d had a lot to talk about that first year after he’d returned to civilian life, staying with friends near the base where he’d been stationed in North Carolina. Most of it was related to combat, but some of it went back to things that had happened before he’d even enlisted.
The headlights of their patrol car cut through the darkness and shone on the curving road ahead. Cobalt was in mountain country, barely seventy miles south of the Canadian border. The deep mountain lake, for which the town was named, was surrounded by heavily forested jagged mountain peaks.
Owen’s house was located in a small community south of the lake. They were modest homes, mostly occupied by people who worked in the Cobalt Resort, downtown restaurants or the local ski resort.
Zane kept his gaze sweeping across the surrounding terrain as he’d been trained. Not that he could see much looking out into the darkness. The police radio crackled with regular transmissions. Routine stuff, mostly about traffic stops. So far he’d heard little related to the search for the men who’d attacked him and Caroline. But he also knew any substantial information would likely be transmitted by cell phone so anyone with a scanner couldn’t listen in.
Matt asked Shane a question and they started talking.
“So, where have you been all this time?” Caroline asked quietly from beside him.
Zane wasn’t looking to keep secrets. Not anymore. And Caroline deserved answers.
“I was in Texas for a little while. A couple of other places, and then Afghanistan.”
“So were you in military? A private contractor?”
“Army.”
“It makes sense now,” she said thoughtfully. “That explains how you got the skills to help in the police reserves.” She was studying his face. He could see her in the light from the instrument panel in the front seat and, for a couple of seconds, from the bright beams of a passing car. “It explains why you look so different, too,” she added.
“The passage of time will do that.” He felt self-conscious, wondering exactly what kind of changes she saw.
“That isn’t the only thing that changes a person.”
She was right.
“When you said we needed time apart, that you were going to leave town for a while, everybody thought you’d just be gone for a few weeks. Maybe a couple of months. Why didn’t you tell us that you were leaving to join the military? That you were going to be gone a long time?” She glanced at the two officers up front who were still carrying on their conversation. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
The catch in her voice made the center of his chest ache. At the time he’d had no doubt she’d get over him after he left. That he wasn’t anybody special. But he’d also known she had a kind heart and might worry about him for a little while. If he’d told her what he was planning at the time, she might have tried to convince him not to go. And he would have been very tempted to listen to her.
Sitting in a patrol car with a couple of cops wasn’t exactly the place where he wanted to talk to her about the past, but what choice did he have? She’d said this ride to the house was the only time he’d have with her. If he was going to wrap up any unanswered questions for her, he had to do it now. And at least for the moment, Matt and Shane were focused on their own conversation.
“I’m sure you remember the increase in drug crime about the time I left,” he said. “Suppliers fighting over territory.”
“Remember it?” She made a scoffing sound. “My dad got killed in the middle of it.”
Zane didn’t say anything for a few seconds. Didn’t trust himself to talk about the man who’d been like a real father to him without breaking down. Caroline didn’t need that right now. She needed someone strong she could lean on.
“Did you know he’d been shot?” Caroline asked.
“Yes.” Zane had been through basic training and shipped overseas by the time he’d heard—word had taken a while to reach him. And he hadn’t known how to react once he’d heard. There was a lot going on in his life at the time. The death of Sergeant Henry Marsh had been one very significant addition to a long list of emotional events he couldn’t deal with just then. He’d unpacked the pain of that loss a few years later, when his life had threatened to get out of control and he’d needed to face everything he’d been avoiding for so long. That was when he’d finally seen a therapist.
“Why didn’t you call us?” she asked. Her voice was cold and hard. “Send a card? Something? Did you know my mom had a heart attack shortly after it happened, leaving serious damage? That’s why Owen set up his estate with a request that I take care of Dylan instead of Mom.” Caroline shook her head. “She would have been the logical choice. She knows what she’s doing. But she doesn’t have the strength to take care of him full time until he’s an adult.”
So that was why Mrs. Marsh had looked so frail at Owen’s funeral.
“I’m sorry about your mom. And I’m sorry I didn’t call after your dad... I guess I just thought calling after leaving the way I did would make things about me at a time when they needed to be about your family.” One more thing he hadn’t handled well. But not because he hadn’t cared. Quite the opposite.
“A few days before I left, my dad showed up at my apartment in the middle of the night,” Zane said. “He told me things were changing around Cobalt and that some new business associates were going to make him rich. But they weren’t interested in working with a guy whose son was involved with a cop’s family. Told me it would be best for everyone if I left town.”
The conversation had gotten loud and ugly. Lee Coleman had been using too much of the stuff he was selling, and as a result he’d lost his job at the horse ranch where he’d worked and lived for years. The drugs made him paranoid and it had been clear he was afraid Zane would sell him out to the police.
“When he told me bad things would happen to you, your family, anyone I cared about if I didn’t get out of town, I knew I had to go. I didn’t start thinking about the military until a couple of weeks after I left. I was afraid if I called to tell you, once I heard your voice I’d change my mind and come back. And that would put you right back into danger again.”
He rubbed his hand over his face. This was old history. And it would be good to get it wrapped up so he could move on. Returning to Cobalt wasn’t about trying to relive the past. It was about pursuing his dream of working with horses. He had the opportunity to do that here. Forget trying to recapture things that he’d lost or ruined. Indulging in wishful thinking like that had made his life miserable for far too long.
“So you left when you could have stayed and helped send your dad to prison?” Caroline prompted. The anger was gone from her tone. Now she sounded aloof. Like she really didn’t want anything else to do with him.
“The local cops had started forming a task force with state and federal agencies around the time I left. I met with a couple of detectives and told them everything I knew. They asked that I not tell anyone about that meeting in order to keep my dad from finding out and retaliating.”
His dad hadn’t been involved in the Marsh shooting. But he did get busted for selling drugs and served five years in prison down in Boise. While Zane hadn’t been able to protect Sergeant Henry, at least leaving town had kept Caroline and the rest of the family safe.
A disquieting thought flickered in Zane’s mind. Could his father have had something to do with today’s attack? Zane hadn’t heard from him in years. The odds were good that he was back in Cobalt. Other than the time spent in prison, he’d never lived anywhere else.
Caroline was quiet for a moment. “Why didn’t you tell my dad what was happening? Why didn’t you stay here and let us stand by you?”
Why? Because his own dad had warned him against doing just that and had told him the same thing he always did. That Zane was his son and just like him. That the Marsh family were a completely different kind of people. Nice. Law-abiding. Churchgoing. That Zane might be able to fool them into accepting him in the short term, but in the long run they’d see what he really was. That he wasn’t worth the trouble. It was Zane’s deepest fear: he was unworthy of love. And his drug-addled dad spoke right to it.
It had taken several more years in his faith walk for Zane to be able to believe he had value simply as a child of God. Though he still had moments—sometimes whole days—when he struggled to believe that.
Caroline watched him closely, still waiting for a response.
He had been twenty years old when he’d left town, desperate to protect the young woman he loved. Of course if the same thing happened now, he would make very different decisions. Zane drew in a deep breath and blew it out. “I guess I just figured you and your family didn’t need the headache.”
Caroline stared at him for what felt like a very long time and then slowly shook her head. An expression of pained disappointment seemed to darken her eyes. “After everything my parents did for you? After everything you and I talked about and the life we planned together? I can’t believe that.”
There was nothing more for Zane to say.
Her response was a good reminder of why things would never have worked out between the two of them. Even when she tried, she couldn’t understand him. They’d had such different starts in life. Been brought up so differently. And there was no overcoming that.