CHAPTER NINE

Ruby

Late that night, Ruby was lying on her bed, watching The Wizard of Oz for the zillionth time. She wanted so badly to play Dorothy. The auditions were on Monday and she knew Amber had been practising ‘Somewhere Over the Rainbow’ all week. She knew that Amber was her main competition for the lead role.

Ruby paused the video. She had to prepare herself for the worst. She might not get Dorothy. If she didn’t, she wanted to be the Scarecrow. He was the second-best part, in her opinion. The character description said, ‘Though the scarecrow’s dearest wish is that Oz give him a brain, he is already possessed of intelligence. He learns quickly and usually comes up with a helpful idea when the characters face challenges.’

Ruby could see herself as Dorothy, starring in the show as parents and the other students gasped at how incredible she was. ‘She’ll win an Oscar some day,’ they’d say.

Ruby stood up in front of the mirror and took a bow. ‘Thank you,’ she said to her imaginary audience.

‘What are you doing, you freak?’

Ruby spun around. Orla was behind her. Dammit, she hadn’t heard her sister coming in. ‘Nothing.’

Orla rolled her eyes and threw herself onto her bed.

Ruby looked at the clock. It was midnight. Orla was supposed to have been home by ten thirty. ‘Did Mum see you come in?’

Orla snorted. ‘Are you joking? She’s fast asleep on the couch.’

Ruby sniffed; her sister smelt funny. She smelt like Dad’s beers. ‘Oh my God, have you been drinking?’

‘No.’

‘Yes you have. You stink.’

‘Shut up, you idiot.’

‘Mum and Dad will go mental if they find out.’

Orla’s eyes narrowed. ‘How would they find out? You’re not going to tell them, now, are you?’ She grabbed Ruby’s arm and pulled it behind her back.

‘Ouch, you’re hurting me.’

‘Swear you won’t say anything!’

‘I swear.’

Orla let go of Ruby’s arm. Ruby rubbed it where it ached. ‘You shouldn’t be drinking, though. You know it’s wrong. You’re only fifteen.’

‘I’ll be sixteen next month, not that anyone in this house will remember.’

Ruby’s mind flashed back to last year, when everyone had forgotten Orla’s fifteenth birthday because Robbie was in hospital. Mum had remembered two days after and felt so bad. She’d kept apologising to Orla, who had pretended she didn’t care, but Ruby knew she did. Mum had tried to make it up to her by buying her a silver necklace with her name on it, but Orla had only worn it once. Ruby knew her sister thought it was dorky.

‘Don’t do it again, Orla, seriously. Mum and Dad don’t need to worry about you drinking. It’s not fair. They’ve enough to be worried about.’

Orla kicked off her boots and lay back on her bed. ‘Mum and Dad wouldn’t notice if I had vodka for breakfast. They’re too wrapped up in Robbie and all his drama to notice whether I’m alive or dead.’

‘That’s not fair! They do try.’

Orla sat up. ‘That’s a load of crap and you know it. Since he came along they never take us out, we never do anything as a family, we never have fun, they’re permanently exhausted and pretty much forget we exist. It’s all about Robbie. I wish he’d never been born.’

Ruby waved her arms. ‘Don’t say that – take it back. It’s mean and wrong and ... and ... and ...’

‘And true,’ Orla said.

‘No, no, it isn’t!’ Ruby shouted. She had to push back the words. It was wrong. Orla shouldn’t say things like that. But deep down, although she would never ever admit it, Ruby sometimes felt the same.

The door snapped open and Mum came in. ‘For God’s sake, Ruby, be quiet. You’ll wake Robbie up. It took me nearly two hours to get him to sleep,’ she hissed. ‘You should be asleep. What are you doing up at this hour?’ Mum took the iPad from Ruby’s bed and turned to leave the room. Turning to Orla, she asked, ‘What time did you get in at?’

‘About twenty past ten. You were with Robbie, so I didn’t go in to you.’

‘Good girl. OK, goodnight, girls.’

Mum left the room and Orla turned to Ruby. ‘See? She doesn’t even notice if I’m here or not.’

Ruby cuddled up under her duvet and turned out her bedside lamp. She said a prayer that Dad would have a good night taxi driving, that Mum and Robbie would sleep well and that Orla wouldn’t drink again.

The weekend went too quickly, as always. Monday morning came and when Ruby went down for breakfast Mum was up making her lunch.

‘Hello, pet. I’ve made you salami sandwiches. I’m afraid the bread isn’t very fresh, but I cut the crusts off so it’s not too bad. I’m sorry I never made it to the supermarket yesterday. Every time I tried to leave Robbie kicked off. I’ll go today.’

‘It’s OK, Mum, the bread looks fine.’ Ruby poured cornflakes into her bowl. ‘Actually, Mum, I just wanted to remind you that it’s Orla’s birthday next month. I think we should all make a fuss because of last year.’

Mum’s hand flew to her mouth. ‘Oh God, I still feel sick about forgetting it last year. I’ll put a reminder into my phone now, so I get her present good and early. Thanks for reminding me, Ruby. You’re such a good sister and daughter. I don’t tell you enough.’

Mum came over and put her arms around Ruby from behind and kissed her on the head. It was nice. Like, really, really nice. ‘So, what’s going on with you?’

‘We have the auditions for the musical today.’

‘Oh good luck! I hope you get a good part. I’m so sorry we missed you last year. God, all I seem to do is apologise to you girls these days. I’m a rubbish mother to you both.’

Ruby turned around. Mum looked so sad. She stood up and hugged her. ‘No you’re not – you’re just tied up a lot with Robbie.’

‘I know, but it’s not fair on you and Orla. I’m sorry, pet, I really am. I’ll try to do better. I keep thinking Robbie will get easier as he gets older, less needy of me, but it seems to be the opposite.’

Ruby didn’t know what to say so she just patted her mum on the back and said, ‘It’s OK,’ over and over.

Orla came in and went over to the cupboard. She pulled out a Weetabix box and shook it. ‘It’s empty.’

‘There’s cornflakes here on the table,’ Mum said.

‘I don’t want cornflakes. I want Weetabix.’

‘I’ll get to the shops today.’

‘That’s what you said on Saturday and Sunday.’

‘Leave Mum alone,’ Ruby snapped. ‘You could have gone to the shop yourself.’

‘When?’ Orla shouted. ‘I was working in the café all day Saturday and Sunday. Remember, I have a job where I work to earn my own money, so I don’t have to ask Mum and Dad for anything, because I know that every single penny Dad earns goes into getting Robbie to say three bloody words.’

Ruby gripped Orla’s arm. She had to get her sister to stop. Mum didn’t need any more guilt piled on top of her. ‘Stop it. Mum’s doing her best.’

‘So am I,’ Orla hissed.

The door opened and Dad wheeled Robbie in. ‘Look who’s awake and up and dressed.’

‘Hi, sweetheart,’ Mum said, kissing Robbie on the cheek. Turning to Dad, she said, ‘Thanks for getting him up. You can get some rest now.’

‘Great, wake me up at one.’

‘OK, will do.’

‘Have a good day in school, girls. Try smiling, Orla – it’ll make people like you more.’ He winked at his older daughter and left to get some rest.

‘Hi hi hi!’ Robbie said, waving at them.

‘Hi, Robbie.’ Ruby went over and hugged him.

‘Hi Robbie.’ Orla waved back. ‘OK, well, seeing as there is nothing I want to eat, I’ll head in early.’ Orla put her backpack on her shoulder and walked towards the door.

‘Bye, pet, I’ll get the Weetabix today,’ Mum said.

‘Bye bye, I dove you!’ Robbie shouted.

Orla turned and looked down at her little brother’s smiling face. He was wearing a light blue jumper that matched his eyes and his blond hair was sticking up at the back. He beamed up at his sister. Orla paused and then, half smiling, whispered, ‘I love you too, even though you drive me nuts. Bye bye, Robbie.’

When Ruby turned back, there were tears in Mum’s eyes. ‘She does love him. She really does,’ Mum said, smiling through her happy tears.