“So, the big day is coming up,” Leanna’s mother said, shoveling a healthy portion of green beans onto her plate. “Are you starting to get nervous?”
Leanna pushed her food around her plate with her fork and stared at the wall of the dining room for a moment before shrugging her shoulders and grunting in response. She’d been feeling on edge ever since the match with the Gartner twins earlier that day. Leanna was glad that Jenny had decided to go through with tryouts too, but now she was feeling the pressure not just to get her own performance up, but to try and push Jenny as well. It didn’t help that they only had one week. Her mother didn’t help either.
“It’s all right sweetie, I got butterflies before my first tryouts too. But I pushed through my nerves and made varsity,” her mother said.
“Yeah, Mom, I know. Believe it or not you’ve actually told me this story before. Last week. Twice,” Leanna responded with a sigh. “It’s not as inspirational as you think.”
Leanna had grown up on stories of her mother’s high school and college successes on the tennis court. After topping the roster for all four years she was on the high school team, Leanna’s mother had received a scholarship to a top university to play on their team. She had even briefly considered going pro, but then she got pregnant with Leanna in her junior year. Her mom may have given up on her own dreams of tennis stardom when Leanna was born, but that didn’t stop her from giving up on her daughter’s chances to make it to the big leagues—or at the very least a top tier college.
“Well, I’m just trying to be supportive, Lee. I know it can feel like a lot of pressure.”
Leanna just nodded and kept playing with her food.
“You’ll feel more confident when you get a better read on the competition,” her mom continued. “You and Jenny have been hitting balls down at Tetterman’s at every opportunity since you were little girls. You obviously have commitment to the game, and that’s all you need to win.”
Leanna set her fork down. “That’s the thing, Mom, it’s not just about me. Jenny is going to try out too.”
“Oh?” her mother said, chewing thoughtfully before continuing, “Well, what does that have to do with you, sweetie?”
“It has to do with me because I’m going to feel horrible if Jenny winds up on C-squad and I make JV,” Leanna said, glaring at her plate.
Her mother let out an easy laugh and said, “Well, you don’t have any control over that. I’m sure Jenny understands.”
“But I told her I’d help her work on her strokes,” Leanna said, resuming playing with her food.
It was her mother’s turn to sigh now. “Well, honey, I’m sure you’ll do what you can, but at the end of the day you have to focus on yourself. When they’re watching you at tryouts they’re not going to be looking to see how well you coached your friend, they’re going to be looking at what you have to offer the team.”
“I know, Mom. I get it,” Leanna said.
Her mother paused for a moment and began eating again. “I’m just trying to be realistic, and you should be too. I love that you love tennis, but I also love that you’re good at it. I just want you to keep in mind the doors it can open for you, like it did for me—”
“Mom, really, this is not helping.” Leanna was getting frustrated. Tennis had always been important to her mom, but ever since her dad left in middle school, their budget had been tight. Now that Leanna was in high school, her mom was already thinking about college, and she saw tennis as the only sure-fire way to make sure they could afford it. It was nice that her mom cared so much, but sometimes Leanna wished she would just let her focus on the problems she was having now instead of the ones she’d be having in three years.
“All I’m saying is that if it’s going to be distracting, maybe you should find somebody else to practice with, at least until tryouts are over.”
Leanna pushed her chair back across the kitchen floor with a loud scrape and stood up. “Are you even listening to what I’m telling you? I’m not just going to ditch my best friend so that I can get onto the stupid tennis team! You’re impossible sometimes, you know that?” she shouted.
Her mother’s mouth dropped open in surprise, but Leanna stormed off to her bedroom before she had the chance to respond.