“HE’LL BE LOOKING FOR YOU,” I SAY.

We’re gathered round the smokeless fire watching Nishwa portion out hot broth into metal cups.

“Eat first,” Matisa says, like we’ve got all the time in the world.

I can tell Matisa’s the sort who’s never in a rush for things to happen, just like her brother Nishwa. Isi’s a different story; he’s pacing while Nishwa moves snail slow, measuring out the broth like it’s the most important thing on Almighty’s green earth. And the broth might be the most important thing. They have supplies, but not near enough to last five of us very long. It’s plain they need to make a run for it.

Kane sits beside me, forearms on his bent knees, his thigh pressing into mine. He’s sticking close, like he doesn’t want me out of his sight ever again.

I slept hours—the whole day and into the night—wrapped in his warmth. When we woke, the wind was whistling soft outside the cave and a thin dusting of snow coated the ground. The clothes that Matisa brought me were warm and dry, but I wanted to stay inside the blankets with Kane forever.

He insisted on Matisa coming with me when I went to relieve myself in the woods, though I’d told him about the lie of the Takings before I drifted off.

I stumbled from the cave out into the starry night and was met by a soft rush of breath—just like the one I’d heard in the cabin the other day. They’d brought me to the cave on the back of one of their horses, and the beasts were wandering quiet nearby as I stepped out into the trees. I stopped to watch them shift about—so calm, their breath steaming in the cold. I imagined how they’d be when I looked at them in Soeur Manon’s books, but they’re so much more beautiful than I figured.

I’d never been out in the woods in the full dark before. Instead of it feeling skittering, though, it felt like a shadowy embrace. Les trembles shifted and sighed, like they’d been holding their breath for years, waiting to welcome me. Skeleton branches danced shadows on the walls of the coulees.

Matisa trailed behind, talking soft to the horses. I tucked behind a tree, skin flushed, feeling alive finger to toe. The moon was a thin sliver of light, but the stars were so brilliant the whole sky was drinking me up. I thought about Soeur Manon speaking on being a child and looking at that night sky, and I understood.

When I returned, Kane was waiting with his funny smile. And even though everything was upside-down and still is, I’ve never felt so whole, so full.

I take the broth from Nishwa and drink it quick. I can’t help but make a small sound of pleasure when I’m done. Isi watches me across the fire.

“He’ll be coming for you now, Matisa,” I try again. “Mayhap he told Council he’s seen the malmaci. They’ll shoot first, that’s their way.”

Her eyes are calm. She wipes at her mouth with a cloth and speaks. “We always knew we were taking a risk.”

“But you should go—get out of here before he finds you, before they—” I don’t finish. When I told them about the bones in the cellar—their scouts—Isi’s eyes went real dark, then he jumped up and left the cave, but Matisa and Nishwa just sat there, silent and calm, thinking. When Isi returned, his face was blank, but he started pacing the cave end to end. He’s still pacing.

“I’m sorry.” I’ll never say it enough. “This is all my fault. You need to go.”

Matisa frowns. “My dreams told me not to leave without you. Can you leave your people?”

I look into the coals. What exactly would I be staying for? If I left with these new friends, I’d be running from a settlement that had never wanted me, from Brother Stockham, who’d wanted me for all the wrong reasons.

And going back to the settlement is courting our death. No doubt Brother Stockham’s told everyone I’ve been sent to the Crossroads, and he’ll be wondering where Kane is and how much he truly knows. Everyone’s already half addled with the malmaci seeming to circle ever closer. We walk out of the woods like ghosts—Lost People at our sides or no—there’s no guarantee they won’t shoot us on sight. Almighty knows Brother Stockham would give the order himself; he’s probably scouring for Kane’s whereabouts right now. And at first light Council will hunt for Matisa and the boys, if they aren’t hunting already.

Brother Stockham knows I took that Almighty-loving journal; he’ll look for it. And Tom knows it’s in Pa’s trapping satchel. What if Tom goes to Brother Stockham with it?

What would he do to my pa?

To Tom?

My heart clenches tight.

Isi nods at the wind outside. “The winterkill comes.”

Takes me a minute to realize he means La Prise. It’s a strange word for it, but it’s also exactly the right one. Affirmation has already started and the settlement is closing up until the Thaw. The thought of La Prise—the winterkill—barreling down on us sends an arrow of fear to my heart.

I look at Matisa’s calm eyes. She’s risked so much. But for what? “Why did you come?” I ask.

Isi stops his pacing a moment and looks to Matisa.

“I told you the answer was long,” she says.

“We don’t have much time,” adds Isi.

“Then you’ll have to talk fast,” I say.

Isi crosses his arms, his brow like thunder, but Matisa waves him off. “Emmeline is right to ask.” She studies me. “The quick answer is this: death is coming again for our people. Our elders have seen it, just as they saw it years ago.”

“What kind of death?”

“A war. The Dominion is coming.”

The Dominion: the people of the east. “And they are coming to fight?”

“Some of them, yes.”

“Why?”

“We have things they need.”

“What kinds of things?”

“Matisa,” Isi’s voice rasps from the corner. “Hurry up.”

“The important thing is that the war will be bloody. It will not end well.” She swallows and looks at her hands. Again I wonder about her home, her family. She says her people used to war with nearby tribes for food and people, but they banded together years ago in the face of the threat of newcomers—people like us. Over the years they learned the Dominion’s languages to better understand what they were up against. “For years we have known this, but for years our elders have also been telling an old tale of our people. It is about two dreamers from different times who have the answer to keeping death at bay.”

I frown. Different times. “You think you and I are those dreamers?”

She nods.

“But what’s the answer?”

She shrugs. “It will become clear, if we listen to our dreams.”

I study her. I see for the first time that beyond her gentle eyes and easy manner there’s a heaviness, like she’s carrying something she shouldn’t. It’s the kind of weight brought on by knowing too much. By having to make decisions that aren’t easy.

Like leaving your home.

I look at Kane. He meets my eyes, silent. I push to my feet. “Need to go for a think.”

“Em!” Kane calls as I leave the cave. The wind takes his voice and whisks it into the trees.

I tuck myself in under a sweeping spruce. The boughs make a roof and walls around me, sealing out the icy wind and the moonlight.

Kane ducks his head inside. “You can’t think in the cave?”

I give him a half smile. “Not used to so many people watching me when I do it.” I sink to the needle-covered ground and draw my knees to my chest.

He stands there a moment, looking at me. “You need to think alone.”

I fight back tears and nod. “That all right?”

“Course. I’ll be waiting outside the cave.” His eyes are gentle. “Em?” he says. “I’m following your lead. No matter what.” He gives me a smile that’s meant to be reassuring, and disappears.

And then the tears come. Not desperate, painful tears; mixed-up tears. Tears of sadness and anger and guilt, tears of thankfulness and relief. I let them stream down my cheeks and sit quiet, listening to the wind in the top of the spruce. It’s a big, soft voice shushing me, telling me it’s all right.

But I don’t know what to do.

Matisa trusted herself, trusted that leaving her family was the right path. And her people were imprisoned here, starved to death or Almighty knows what else, because our leader was afraid. Yet she tells me she’s not leaving without me.

I scrub at the tears with my sleeve.

We should go now, before La Prise is howling down around us. Leave those stifling walls, the suspicious stares, the people who never understood or cared for me . . .

Except it’s not that easy.

I’d be asking Kane to leave his family: his ma who taught him to read, who raised him kind and brave.

Worse, I’d be leaving my pa to Brother Stockham. Tom won’t realize his mistake until it’s too late.

My chest aches. Tom was always trying to get me to believe my Stain didn’t matter, to stop being so afraid of what people thought, and now his own fear will be his undoing—

My thoughts stop.

Tom was always trying to get me to believe . . .

I care more about my Stain than anyone else.

My pa. All this time I thought he was disappointed in me. Thought he was just tired of me being a burden. But each moment he looked at me that hopeful way, each time he was begging me to take his meaning, it wasn’t Stockham he was asking me to accept . . .

I take a deep, shaky breath and hug my knees close. Images swim through my head: Edith’s blue eyes drinking in my words, Andre showing me that arrow, Soeur Manon mending my dress, Sister Ann’s understanding face . . .

Been so afraid of how I look to others, I was unable to see a truth that was right in front of me. There are people in the settlement who look at me less kind, sure, but they’re afraid. And if fear has blinded me, can I fault the people around me for the same thing?

I can’t just up and leave.

I press the palms of my hands to my wet eyes, trying to think.

Tomorrow afternoon, the second day of Affirmation will be in full ceremony. What might happen if we try to get back into the settlement? Watch might have orders to shoot anything that isn’t Council, but . . .

But mayhap I can get to Andre first. Like that night I was out at the Crossroads; I know where he patrols. And if I can get to Andre, I can get in and then—

Then what?

Get my pa? Tell the settlement about Brother Stockham?

Will anyone hear what I have to say? Will they urge Council to listen to my Discovery, to accept the Lost People I’ve found?

I don’t know. All I know is that I can’t leave, and I don’t have much time. Andre will help me get back inside. After that—well, we’ll just have to see.

My dream comes flooding back. Watch standing on that hill, between me and the cabin, shooting Matisa down.

I shiver.

I think about Kane, standing outside the cave in the howling wind waiting for me. What has Stockham told Watch about him? Probably to shoot him on sight; Kane knows too much. And he defied Council and headed into the woods for me, so I’m not letting him risk his life again. No. I have to do this on my own. It’s just . . .

There’s no way he’ll let me go back alone.

I close my eyes again, thinking.

Honesty, Bravery, Discovery.

I want to be Honesty. But I need to lie just one more time.

Long minutes later I stand and push out of the spruce boughs, then I take Kane’s waiting hand and lead him inside the cave.

Around the fire, I stare into the coals so I don’t have to look at anyone. “I have to go back,” I say. “My pa’s in danger and I can’t leave him.”

Four pairs of eyes alight on me. “I have a plan.” I keep my voice steady to feign truthfulness. “I got someone to unbolt the wastewater ditch yesterday. Today when the Watch shift changes, I can get inside.”

Kane’s voice is perplexed. “I thought you said Tom hung you to dry.”

“It’s not Tom,” I say quick, “it’s a Watcher.” I will away the flush creeping up my neck. I continue, “We’ll need to get past the Councilmen in the woods, but I can get to that ditch unseen.”

“This is what you must do?” Matisa asks.

I nod. “I have to.” I stare at the coals and wait with my breath held. I can feel the four of them shifting, looking at one another.

“Leave the Councilmen to us,” Isi says.

Relief and gratitude fill me. “You have guns?”

He and Nishwa exchange a glance. “Not exactly.”

“What’s that mean?”

Matisa smiles. “It means all Isi could steal from our moshum were a few gas masks. He has the weapons under lock and key, but we decided he wouldn’t notice a few masks. The boys were worried about poison gas—the Dominion has been using it.”

Poison gas? Kane and I look at one another, confused. But the first part of Matisa’s answer registers. Masks. The seed of an idea springs up, emboldening me.

“Never mind,” Matisa says. “We have Nishwa’s twenty-two—a rifle. But it is mostly to scare away wolves.”

I look around at them. “I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“We don’t need guns, Emmeline,” Isi says. Matisa nods in agreement.

“All right,” I say.

Kane reaches over and squeezes my arm. “I’m coming with you.”

I force a smile.

That’s what you think, beautiful Kane.