Christmas Eve, eight years ago
Tamara followed her friends down to the party. She noticed that they were all dressed to impress in their trendiest casual clothes. They had spruced themselves up so much that they hardly looked like the friends she knew so well.
Most of the other people at the party didn’t go to her school, and the ones she did recognise were several years older. They must have been Taylor’s friends rather than Blake’s, or so she imagined. She was a little surprised and disappointed as she had heard that all the Year Elevens and Twelves were going. The uncomfortable feeling deep in her stomach didn’t fade away, no matter how hard she pretended it wasn’t there. Maybe it was guilt. She knew her parents would flip if they found out she was here—especially her dad.
‘Hey, Blake,’ Dylan called out as a guy about Dylan’s height ambled over. Blake’s light brown hair seemed to match his eyes and, when he smiled, Tam noted that he had a dimple in his left cheek. Up until that moment she’d never noticed it before.
‘Hey,’ Blake said with a grin. ‘I’m really glad that you all made it.’
‘Thanks for inviting us,’ Dylan responded. ‘Anyone else from our class coming?’
‘I hope so, but it’s Christmas Eve and some of them wouldn’t have been able to get away,’ Blake replied.
‘You’re right,’ Gemma said. ‘Tam and I can only stay for a while because we have to be back. Mum would never forgive me if I was out late.’
Blake nodded. ‘I really appreciate you coming … I mean a lot of people wouldn’t because … well, you know, thanks.’
Will Griffith let go of Gemma’s hand and gave Blake a playful thump on the shoulder. ‘Happy to be here,’ he said as he looked towards the barbecue. ‘Can I get in on that?’
‘Sure thing,’ Blake said. ‘Help yourself.’
‘Should we have brought something?’ Tam asked.
‘Oh no, not at all. I think there’s enough sausages to feed us for a whole week,’ he answered. ‘Come on, let’s grab some.’
They followed Blake down to the barbecue. The grill was filled with sausages and there was a pile of onion on the side. On a table close by there was about a dozen loaves of bread, several bottles of tomato sauce, a roll of kitchen paper and a large bowl of coleslaw. Blake and Dylan stepped forward and started grabbing bread to make sausage sandwiches for the rest of them.
Gemma edged closer to Tam. ‘There’s nothing but sausages,’ she whispered so no one else could hear.
Tam gave her a gentle poke in the ribs. ‘You don’t want to embarrass Blake.’
Dylan glanced over his shoulder. ‘Hey, Tam, do you want everything on yours?’
She smiled and gave him a nod. ‘Oh yes please—that’d be great.’ She turned back to Gemma, whispering. ‘You know that Blake’s family struggles a bit, so suck it up.’
Gemma let out an exaggerated sigh. ‘Oh all right,’ she said before calling out to Will. ‘Will, could you please get me one with everything too?’
‘Sure, Gem,’ he replied.
She looked back at Tam. ‘Happy now?’
Tam grinned at her. ‘Yes, I think I am.’ She glanced over at Blake who was laughing at something Dylan had said. Taylor was certainly the more handsome of the two brothers. He was taller with high cheekbones, a well-defined jaw and hazel-coloured eyes but those eyes could turn as cold as stone in an instant. There was something about him that scared Tam and yet she couldn’t put her finger on what it was exactly.
The guys returned with the sausage sandwiches and all of them wandered over to sit in the shade of the lonely, stunted peppercorn tree. It wasn’t much protection from the summer sun but it helped a little. Dylan sat down next to her as they listened to the music and watched as more people arrived. Tam was keenly aware of Dylan, they weren’t touching but she was sure that she could almost feel his body heat. She tried to damp down the surge of butterflies that pirouetted inside her.
Dylan had always been around. He and Seb played footy together, hung out all the time and basically lived in each other’s pockets. Tam had always been in the same grade as them at school. Even the same class, except when they had started travelling to Bendigo to go to the high school. There she chose different electives and didn’t see either of them quite as much. But they all still hung out after school and her mum even set a place for Dylan at the table most nights. For years she’d found Seb and Dylan annoying but something had shifted last winter; the change was so minuscule Tam didn’t even realise it at the time. But it was as if she was actually seeing Dylan for the first time and he’d gone from that goofy friend of Seb’s to something more. He still teased her every now and again but she’d noted that he kept looking at her whenever they were together. How did she know? Because she found herself looking at him too.
Nothing had happened but she couldn’t deny there was a little buzz of excitement every time he walked through the door. It was dumb and Seb would freak if he ever suspected but she couldn’t help herself. Tam was realising she had a full-blown crush on that boy and there was nothing she could do about it.
No one knew, except for Gemma, who told her time and time again to go for it because Seb would eventually get over it. It wasn’t bad advice but Tam was worried about how it would affect her relationship with her brother. People thought that because they were twins they would be like an extension of each other, but it wasn’t the case. In fact, they seemed to be polar opposites. And Seb always acted as if he’d been born five years before her rather than twenty-five minutes.
Now, at the party, Tam wiggled back so she could rest against the tree trunk, and as she moved, her hand brushed Dylan’s. She stilled for a moment, unsure of what to do. She should pull her hand away but the seconds ticked by and she didn’t. She finally willed herself to pull away but in that moment Dylan closed his hand over hers.
The world seemed to fade away. All she could focus on was the touch of his hand and the warmth that emanated from it. She sucked in a breath before daring to turn her head and catch a peek of Dylan. As soon as she raised her head she saw that he was already staring back at her. Her stomach did a flip.
He gave her a small smile and pulled her hand a little closer. Tam was conscious of the beat of her heart. She glanced at Gemma and Will but neither of them appeared to notice. Tam let herself lean against Dylan’s side, their hands still locked together.
It was weird in a good way. A flush of excitement tingled across her cheeks. The party continued on in front of her but Tam wasn’t seeing it, all her attention was directed on Dylan and how it felt to hold his hand. The only lucid thought that went through her head was … Oh God, I’m in trouble now.