Chapter 20

 

Well past the lunch hour, the council and their fathers met in the great library of Aeoferth Hall. No one ventured near the room to disturb them, nor did another immortal try to guess what threat might be just over the horizon. For one and all knew that their leaders would bring them into the knowledge of what was transpiring when the moment was right. And the unshakable faith they had in their governing body, made the wait more bearable.

During the council’s deliberations and discussions, strategies and specific plans were laid out and then thoroughly dissected for each portion of the upcoming battle. Every conceivable scenario for engaging a large gathering of the Fallen was laid bare. And though they all wanted to look into the future to know the coming threat fully, angel and Nephilim alike were still restricted from seeing the information.

Ganymede reassured them all, that at times, God’s own must walk by faith alone and not by sight.

When at last there was nothing left to discuss about the upcoming challenges, Gaius gave the council a recounting of the memory which had awoken Alex that morning. At his request, she showed them all how Anot’s mother, Banafrit, had finally found Asterron after years of searching. They witnessed the confrontation as Alex stayed connected with their minds, and they saw the ancient lady’s violent end come at the hands of one she had called husband.

The final words spoken in their meeting that day, echoed what Ganymede, Haniel, and Gaius had said to Alexandria in the wake of the memory. That though they might want to save them all, there were limitations to what they could and should do. And calling the Fallen into an all-out war, as the Nephilim of the Light took their children, was not something that could ever be allowed to take place.

Alex reassured them all that she was not planning such a mission. And that, though her heart did want to stop the Fallen from having children of their own that they could use and abuse, she understood it was an ancient struggle that she could not end simply because she wished it to be so. Alex promised her brethren that she would never call the Fallen down on them in such a way.

That vow led to hugs and murmured words of love. Each immortal gave her their own pledge of confidence that they knew she was not working toward such a mission. For it would always be the children of the Fallen’s choice whether or not they overcame the darkness their fathers instilled within them. A most difficult battle for them to wage, but theirs nonetheless, because His Light could never be forced on a soul.

At the close of the meeting, Alex asked a few to stay behind, hoping for a separate conversation before they all had dinner and then met with the entire assembly. The following morning, the plan to lure the Fallen in was to be set in motion. And before they parted ways, Alex needed to have a very important, yet private chat with one whom she loved so very much.

 

Alex watched as John closed the library door behind him when he took his leave, and then she turned her attention back to the seven other souls who had remained with her. Rohan and Sabina were still directly across from where she and Gaius sat, and their four angelic fathers lingered with them as well. Alex took Gaius’ hand back in hers, then she gathered Ganymede’s in her other. They all patiently awaited her words, and so she began a most difficult, but necessary conversation.

“Thank you for staying with me just a little longer, before we see to dinner and our talk with the entire gathering. I have something weighing heavily on my heart, you see. Well… It’s not a something, it’s a someone,” Alex said tenderly, and she turned her focus toward Rohan.

He silently arched an eyebrow at her, but inclined his head, encouraging Alex to continue.

“There has not been one moment since my return that you have not been by my side, Rohan, or on my side. From the first night I walked into the ballroom, and you fairly overwhelmed me with your straightforward words and the staggering amount of love I felt pouring off of your aura in waves, as you hugged me so tightly I couldn’t breathe – you’ve been there for me,” Alex admitted, feeling her eyes cloud over, though she had just begun.

“When you threw your longsword at my head, I couldn’t help but laugh when I appeared behind you and smacked you on your backside. Even though I think Jack wanted to have your head that day,” she chuckled, and the others did as well.

“And then there was the day I asked you to show me how to deflect modern artillery, and you had to convince Gaius and Jack to let us play. They both wanted to take you aside and tell you no. But you stood your ground, because you knew that’s what was best for me,” she said and smiled warmly at him.

Alex noted that Sabina was openly crying with her, and that the men’s eyes were moist as well.

“When you told me we were going to spar on horseback, and that I could heal whatever damage we inflicted, I was honestly terrified. But then you proceeded to roll back all of your own internal protection so I could remember how to heal another. And that lesson, Rohan, helped me to save Jack when Aagon grabbed him that very same day.”

“When I remembered Gaius, it was you, Rohan, who met me by the helicopter and told me how badly you had wanted to share the truth with me. Even though your own father and Gaius had forbidden you to. And when I lay in that frigid ice bath after we searched for the memory of my soul’s first demise, it was you dumping ice cubes in the tub and kissing my head, telling me without words to hold on.”

“And you have been too, Rohan. You’ve been holding on so tightly, and I know you’re scared. And it’s okay, because I am too,” Alex breathed, her voice catching over the lump that had settled heavy and thick in her throat.

Rohan clenched his jaw several times trying to still his own emotions, but they were winning the battle. He sniffled and breathed heavily as he stared at Alex.

“Rohan, the morning that I leapt from my balcony to go riding, and skirted Gaius’ and Jack’s guard, it didn’t take Gaius long to track me down. And when I told him I wanted to follow Archimedes’ recommendation to search within the lake of memories, every fiber within Gaius’ heart, mind, body, and soul rebelled. He was so afraid of losing me again, that it took quite a bit on my part to convince him that I wouldn’t stand idly by and wait for the horde to descend and take us. I knew that the only way to ensure everyone’s safety, was to know the truth and meet our enemies with it boldly, and with all the power we could collectively wield.”

“And now we have a new truth – one that is the greatest challenge we’ve ever faced. For the Fallen to gather and openly work together to take me, is the most terrifying truth I’ve yet to hear since I walked back through the doors of this castle. Yet the closer we come to this confrontation, the calmer I’m growing inside. You’re part of the reason for that stillness, Rohan, and you need to know this,” Alex said, as she relinquished Gaius and Ganymede.

She rose and walked over to stand just before Rohan. Alex extended her hands and pulled him to his feet, but she continued to hold his hands in hers. She craned her neck back and stared into Rohan’s hazel eyes, noting how much green was in them that day, despite his tears that were steadily building.

“I’ve not faced one single challenge since I returned that you, Gaius, and Sabina have not helped me navigate, Rohan. Though our brethren have been right there to help me too, no others have so consistently and bravely given me their all to make sure I lived to draw breath through every moment, like the three of you have. You have taught me well, big brother. Don’t you know?” she asked softly and smiled up at him.

“Just like Wallace and Conner, I have listened to you, followed your lead and example, and I have learned so much from the bravery and selflessness that flows from you like a river. Even though you act like a gruff old bear far too often, I know what lies beneath,” Alex chuckled.

Rohan laughed with her, as his tears truly began to spill over. Alex released his hands and reached up to smooth his tears away. She shook her head in wonder at the miracle before her – that one so strong and true was her brother forevermore. But she also drew a deep breath in to help push her next words out, for she knew they were the hardest to utter.

“Rohan, you’ve spoken several times about the damage my soul’s first passing wrought in Gaius’ life. You’ve said time and again how you don’t want to see him go through that pain again. And in answer to that plea, God has told us through Ganymede that I will never be felled again. Never. But what I haven’t heard you mention, is your own pain,” Alex whispered, and saw the immediate look of hurt flit through Rohan’s moist eyes.

“From my own experience with Bertrand, I know that it helps to talk about the moments that truly hurt us and change us. It helps to get it out, and helps with the healing. You have only mentioned once to me that it was you who found Arianna in the church. And I know the first part of that memory from my own search and now, through yesterday’s journey, we know what happened in the moments after I drew my final breath in that lifetime. But you, dear brother, are carrying the last of those horrible moments in your heart and mind.”

“I know that seeing me like that, had to be one of the most horrific and traumatic moments of your long life. And I know that those moments are compelling you to hold on to me so tightly now, because you also know firsthand what it is to lose me. If you want to talk about any of it, Rohan, now, tomorrow, or never – whatever you need to help your heart bear it all a bit better, we’re all here for you.”

“I need you to know that, just as I need you know that I’ll never leave you, Gaius, Sabina, or any of the others, ever again. I love you, Rohan. And I want your old hurt to heal, just as much as I wanted to see my husband’s pain subside.”

Alex paused and continued to wipe Rohan’s tears away, though hers were a river at the moment. She looked on as he tried hard to keep it all in but, finally, he lost the battle and took her in his arms. Rohan lowered his head to rest alongside hers and he closed his eyes to the pain that was pouring from him now in earnest.

Just as he had that day in Aeoferth’s billiard room, when he confessed that it was he who Arianna had called to her side when she traveled to meet Kronis, Rohan let the true depth of his hurt show. It was rare and very telling to see him open his heart to another so. And Alex had no doubt whatsoever, that if he did not love her so much, Rohan would never have allowed her to witness such an outpouring. It humbled her. Deeply.

They held to one another for many minutes, and felt the auras of those closest to them cocooning their hearts and minds. Alex gently smoothed her palm over his hair while the worst of the storm passed. Slowly, he began to raise his head and Alex leaned away slightly to meet his gaze. There was so much raw emotion there. She kissed his cheek and then whispered that she loved him.

“I love you too, Alex,” he breathed and swallowed hard. His shoulders lowered a little, and she watched him exhale at length before he spoke again. “Come; sit down and we’ll talk,” Rohan said.

He took his handkerchief out and cleaned Sabina’s face first, then his own. Gaius did the same for Alex once she was back by his side. Even the angels with them had to wipe the moisture from their faces, as the raw honesty of what Arianna’s death had meant to each soul in the room resurfaced, because of Alex’s words.

No one said anything as Rohan stared at Sabina’s hand held securely in his. When at last he was ready, he coughed and cleared his throat. His eyes looked to Gaius first, then back to Alexandria.

“Alex, what you saw yesterday in our fathers’ ocean of memories, took place just before I arrived at the church. I’ve told you I put off leaving for half a day, and the sun was just setting when I rode up on my horse. I knew something was very wrong before I ever set foot inside, because your horse was still tethered outside, but I didn’t feel your aura at all,” he said somberly.

Rohan coughed again and worked his jaw side to side briefly before he could go on. Sabina lightly caressed his shoulder, trying in some way to help him through the retelling.

“When I walked inside, I saw you lying there. Just where we know Kronis left you now, after he sat and held you for a while. I ran forward and fell to my knees beside you…,” he said, as he paused and shook his head. “There was, um… There was no way to bring you back, though I tried with everything I had.”

Rohan looked back to Alex and let his tears run freely again. She held to Gaius’ hand tightly and he to hers, as they listened to their brother finally speak his pain aloud.

“Once I knew there was no hope of restoring you, I honestly let out a roar that would have probably felled anyone within hearing range. I called out to Ganymede and he was there within the next breath. He took in what had happened and then he was on his knees beside me.”

Alex looked to Ganymede and watched his slow nod. She took her angelic father’s right hand back in her left, and held on as the truth poured from Rohan’s lips and heart. She turned back to Rohan, ready for him to continue.

“Your father gathered you in his arms, and he tried to bring you back too, but you’d been gone too long. You were already with the Lord, and nothing we did could reverse that. And as much shock as I felt and utter hell I was experiencing, I could not imagine how we were going to tell Gaius that you were gone. I guess in answer to my internal cry, Haniel, Jophiel, Israfil, and my father were there next.”

“Israfil and Jophiel helped to hold Ganymede up, and my father was there for me. Haniel took flight to Elysium, where Gaius had gone after he found the letter at Aeoferth – all of us trying to think our way through it and process what had happened. None of us, though, were able to say much. No, our tears were all we had and they wouldn’t stop coming,” Rohan said heavily.

Sabina took his handkerchief from his hand and she lightly stroked Rohan’s cheeks to dry his skin. She smiled tenderly at him and cupped his face for a moment. She whispered her love and gently kissed his brow when he leaned close to her. Rohan smiled sadly at her before he turned his eyes back to Alex.

“My father took me to Elysium under his power, so I didn’t have to ride back and lose the hours. Ganymede went with his brothers, and they took you with them. But Eremiel and I arrived shortly after Haniel. And Gaius, was um…” He broke off again and clenched his jaw as he stared at Gaius.

Alex looked up at her husband and gently ran her hand over his head. He smiled down at her through the deep look of sadness in his eyes. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and brought Alex as close to his body as he could.

“Inconsolable,” Haniel answered for Rohan. “Gaius was not able to function very well for quite some time after that. I have thanked the Lord many, many times for Rohan. For when my son was at his lowest, the moments where I feared greatly for him because he had not a will to go on, Rohan was there demanding that he get up and try.”

“That gruffness that you tease him about, and rightly so,” Haniel said with a grin, “was what forced Gaius to live until you returned, Alexandria. I remained there with Gaius for many months, but Rohan remained for many years. And though others of your kind came and went, it was Rohan who stayed.”

“Yes, just as it was Gaius and Arianna who brought Rohan into their home when Adella died, and Rohan needed comfort,” Eremiel said solemnly. “Both of our sons have known terrible pain and loss, as they saw their loved ones cut down. But now, both of our sons have new loves that make the old pain easier to release and bear. And for that, Sabina and Alexandria, we will be forever grateful. For you both extended yourselves to two who needed you so very much.”

“Yes, you have,” Rohan said. He blew out a loud breath and cupped Sabina’s cheek in his palm as they stared at one another.

“More than you may ever know,” Gaius added, kissing Alex’s forehead and keeping his lips pressed there for a few moments before he drew away.

“Rohan, despite the grief, I am glad to hear you talk about this,” Gaius said. “I have felt the anger in your aura many times over the last few days, and I know this threat is bringing all the old hurt back. Glaringly so, brother. And believe me, I feel it too. To know that the Fallen have taken an interest in Alex, in such great number, is almost more than I can bear. Almost,” Gaius quietly qualified.

“Alex and I have had a few more weeks to process what might be coming at her, than the rest of you. And honestly, we needed that time, so we could make our peace with the hell we’re about to walk through. I have no illusions that this won’t be anything other than an absolute nightmare.” Gaius stopped and glanced back down to Alex. His eyes roamed briefly over her face before he turned his gaze back to Rohan.

“Through everything we’ve lived through, Rohan, the highs and the utter lows, God has never once left us without hope. And with His promise that Alex will never again be felled, I am able to put one foot in front of the other and let the Fallen’s game play out. When we fly away tomorrow, you need to know and believe with every fiber of your being – just as I do – that we will come home. Alex and I will return from this first leg of the journey. But we have to go, to draw them out.”

“I know you do,” Rohan said quietly. “I hate it with everything I am and everything I have within me, but I do know this is necessary.” He stared at Gaius for a long, unbroken minute, then turned his intense gaze to Alex.

“Alex, you be stronger than you ever have before when you lift off tomorrow. There are so many who need you both back. We can’t say goodbye to either of you, without it ending us too. Got it?” he said in a tender tone that made fresh tears spring to her eyes.

“Got it, Rohan,” Alex whispered. “No smelly demon will take Gaius from me, or me from him. I promise.” Alex watched as her words made his lips twitch slightly.

“Don’t,” Rohan said, his tone becoming one of warning now.

“What?” Alex asked, trying hard not to smile.

“Do not start laughing,” he said, daring her. He watched as she pulled her lips together in a tight line to stop the sound from escaping. “Alex,” he drawled her name out, finding that his own smile was growing as she fought against hers.

“Just don’t lock me in Aeoferth, Rohan,” Alex said, biting her lower lip now as her shoulders shook slightly.

Rohan did start laughing then, and Alex immediately followed suit. With that release, everyone allowed themselves to laugh and share the moment. Gaius kissed Alex’s forehead again and nuzzled the side of her face with his, just soaking up the love freely flowing around the small gathering of family.

They took to their feet then and shared hugs and quiet words all around. Rohan held Alex for a few extra moments before he could release her. When he did, he saw Gaius with his arm around Sabina, the two of them looking on as their spouses comforted one another over old pain and the threat of new danger. Rohan winked at Sabina, then stared down at Alexandria.

“Be strong, Alex,” he said again and grazed her chin with his knuckles.

“As strong as you and my husband combined,” she vowed.

“There you go,” Rohan said approvingly.

“Shall we get ready for dinner?” Sabina asked, waiting to see what he was most comfortable with.

“Might as well,” Rohan said, and gave them all a full, dazzling smile. One that they knew came from his heart. The smile he wore when he was not weighed down by heartache or past pain. It was that smile, which helped them all move forward.