None of us has ever had a completely original thought. Especially me.
I would first like to thank my parents, Janice Ragland and David Nichtern, for being basically awesome, for introducing me to these sacred teachings as a template for how to be myself in this world, and for giving me the feeling of home. I would also like to thank my extended family, because this path is about seeing all sentient beings as family, and that has to start with one’s actual family.
I would like to thank my guru, Sakyong Mipham. You are the most quietly brave and impeccably disciplined person I have ever met. Please live a long life. Also, many “jedis” have passed away, and their memories linger. Chief among them is Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche, whose example of fearlessness always makes me smile and cry at the same time.
I have many other teachers and mentors, and they all have titles, so I hope they forgive titular omission for brevity’s sake. For inspiring this book, I’d like to especially thank: Sharon Salzberg, Miles Neale, Suzann Duquette, Gaylon Ferguson, Dzogchen Ponlop, Eric Spiegel, Arawana Hayashi, Carol O’Donnell, Pat Enkyo O’Hara, and Eric Schneiderman.
I would like to thank the community and students of both Shambhala and the Interdependence Project. Our relationships have crafted my approach to the dharma. Our interactions sharpen and soften me continuously, a priceless combination.
I would love to thank the literary team that made this book possible. Thanks to my excellent Brunonian editor, Gabriella Doob, for “getting” my voice and for paying such insightful attention to this text. To Jeff Seroy and the whole wonderful team at Farrar, Straus and Giroux, thanks for everything you did to make this book as polished and accessible as it could possibly be, and to help connect writer with reader, a sacred interdependence. And thanks to my not-so-secret agent and dear friend, Lisa Weinert, who has been kind to my writing ever since we met in Mr. Hubner’s ninth-grade English class.
I would like to acknowledge a few dear comrades and homies on the path of dharma and the path of life during the long arc in which this book was conceived. The only reason this list isn’t much longer is my desire not to massacre trees. Thank you, Kim Brown, Ericka Phillips, Greg Zwahlen, Lodro Rinzler, Chris “Kodomo” Child and Hilary Schaffner, Juan Carlos Castro, Robert and Amy Chender, Andrew Buckland and Maria Azcue, Heather Coleman and Alex Lambert, Seth Freedman, Kate Johnson, Christine Aziz, Caitlin Strom, Patrick Groneman, Lawrence Grecco, Jerry Kolber, Caroline Contillo, Adam Lobel, Josh Silberstein, Dave McKeel, Meredith Arena, Crystal Gandrud, Ellen Scordato, Jon Miller and Claudia Cividino, David Perrin, Whitney Joiner, Matthew Steinfeld, Evan Rock, Abigail Rasminsky, Ian Koebner, and Jeff Zimbalist.
Finally, and crucially, I’d like to thank my amazing partner, Marissa Dutton. I wandered around looking for you for a very long time. Then I came home to you while writing this book, and now you’re stuck with me. Everyone I know thanks you. ☺