Chapter 25

“LSD is very misunderstood,” the doctor said.

Joe had called everyone into the living room so that Sidney could explain everything he knew about the drug, its effects, and the aftereffects. She glanced around and caught Garrett rolling his eyes, obviously not buying what Sidney was selling, even though he’d only said four words.

“It’s often thought that the drug causes hallucinations, but that’s wrong. According to research and clinical studies, people on LSD don’t see things that aren’t there. However, it does alter the way they think and feel, as well as the way they see the world around them.”

Well, at least she’d been wrong on the hallucination part. Hopefully, more of her preconceived ideas would be shot down.

She leaned forward, placing her elbows on her knees, and concentrated.

“The main effect of LSD is visual. Reports say that colors seem more vivid and lights are brighter. Some have said that they see inanimate objects move, while others see halos of light around things. They see patterns, textures, colors, and shapes.”

As she tried to imagine what all that would be like, Lucas chimed in.

“That sounds like one big fuck-all mess to me.”

There were nods of agreement from most of the men in the room, and the doctor continued as if Lucas hadn’t spoken.

“People on LSD are emotional, and often say they have magnificent spiritual or religious experiences; yet, they do tend to be impulsive and lack judgment. They can speak quickly and jump from subject to subject.”

“How long do the effects last?” Joe asked.

“The trip usually begins about an hour after ingesting it and can last up to twelve hours.”

Brody let out a slow whistle while Garrett said, “The poor guy’s going to be out of mind for twelve hours?”

“What if he has a bad trip?” Zach asked.

The doctor held out his hands. “One thing at a time, please. First, most LSD users will tell you that having a bad trip is the consequence of a bad setting. For instance, if one trips in a highly structured environment, such as school or at work—a place where you should be thinking logically—a bad trip can ensue. Second, he won’t be out of his mind. In fact, most users report that they feel their minds had blown past the original boundaries, which leads to the spiritual and religious experiences, as well as a new understanding about life.”

“What if he does have a bad trip?” Brody reiterated.

Sidney stared at him a moment, the irritation at the question written all over his face with his lips pressed together in a thin line, his hard gaze, probing. “Then we’ll give him some anti-anxiety medicine and have him wait it out. Most recover without any lasting side-effects.”

Ava sighed and rubbed her face. She had a feeling that watching Jordan on LSD wouldn’t be a pretty sight, and to her, he would be out of his mind, bad trip or not. She worried about aftereffects and addiction.

She spoke loudly to cut over the din of voices. “What about when the trip is over? Is there a chance he can become addicted? How will it affect him long-term?”

Sidney turned to her, his eyes hard. No, he wasn’t a likeable man, as Joe had said, but he seemed to know his LSD.

“Researchers believe that LSD works like neurotransmitters produced by the body that regulates things like appetite, mood, sleep, and sensory perception. It’s believed that it interferes with the way the brain’s serotonin receptors work. As for aftereffects, some claim to experience flashbacks, but those are usually the mentally ill. With users of the drug who don’t suffer from mental illness, it’s a very controversial subject with most saying flashbacks don’t exist. LSD is not an addictive drug, so there won’t be any addiction issues.”

“What if you overdose him?” Zachary asked.

The doctor sighed, obviously becoming even more irritated with all the questions, which only made Ava dislike him more. This happened to be her husband they were discussing, and he’d answer every last question, even if he had to stand here for two days to do it.

“I won’t.”

Zach persisted. “But what if you do?”

Sidney smiled condescendingly, and Ava thought it was probably a good thing Zach couldn’t see, or he’d have quite a bit to say to the doctor, and none of it nice.

“There have been very few reports of people dying or suffering permanent damage while taking LSD. There was one instance back in 1973 when eight people took massive amounts of the drug at a party, thinking it was cocaine. I’m talking virtually milligrams of it—I will be dealing in micrograms. All of them recovered in the hospital and were released twelve hours later, which fits into the timeframe of the drug leaving the body between twelve to fourteen hours after ingestion. As far as the deaths that have been reported, most had other drugs in their system that could have contributed. For instance, if a person takes cocaine and LSD, then suffers a heart attack, it is most likely the cocaine that caused it.”

“Doctor,” Ava said. “You make it sound like there isn’t anything bad that can happen to Jordan while he’s on it.”

“Not true. The most dangerous part of an LSD trip is when the person loses his inhibitions, has poor judgment, or develops a sense of immortality. Then, we see people walking in front of cars, jumping from windows, and doing other stupid things. I don’t worry about any of that, though, because we will be in a controlled environment where he won’t be able to hurt himself.”

Ruben’s deep voice rumbled through the room. “Where are you getting the LSD? Do you hit up some dealer in Seattle?”

The doctor looked at him as if he were actually offended. “Of course not. I’ve brought it from my lab.”

There was a beat of silence, and then Joe spoke. “Doctor, can you please give us some idea of the experiments that have been done using LSD, and what their outcomes have been?”

Sidney nodded and laced his hands together, staring at the floor for a moment as if to gather his thoughts, then he met Joe’s gaze.

“In the fifties and sixties, before it was taken recreationally, it was used by psychiatrists on the mentally ill, alcoholics, autistic people, and those who were considered to have perversions at that time, such as homosexuals. It was also given to criminals in hopes of reforming them. Many psychiatrists claimed they had good results, but there weren’t enough large studies to back up their reports.”

“And what are your hopes with Jordan?” Joe asked.

“My hope is to help his mind break through its barriers, to have it expand and find his lost memories. This is an excellent chance for me to document this case in detail, and hopefully, it can lead to other research with the drug. It’s already being used in psychotherapy for this very purpose, so we aren’t wading into uncharted waters.”

The room fell silent as Ava’s stomach twisted with stress and worry.

“Explain to me how this will work,” she said.

The doctor nodded. “We’ll give him the LSD. When I feel he’s reached the pinnacle of his trip, I’ll sit down with him and talk to him, and hopefully uncover these lost memories.”

It all sounded so easy and simple, but she still held her doubts. There were the facts the doctor said were true, but then, her own experiences seemed to override them. Plus no drug—never mind one used for trips—was ever a hundred percent safe.

Joe glanced around the room. “Are there any other questions?”

When none came, he added, “We’ll begin tomorrow at noon.”

Ava stared at the floor as almost everyone filed out, hating the idea. Joe couldn’t do anything without her consent, could he? What if something went terribly wrong, and Jordan died?

The fact was, Jordan would either remember, or he’d be killed. Joe had been right—there was no way they could let him walk out of here, and even if they did, chances would be great that Group Nine would dispose of him. However, she didn’t want him to be an experiment for some doctor, and she’d never felt so helpless in her life.

After a moment when the room had almost emptied, she glanced up to see Zach standing and approaching the doctor, Savannah at his side.

“Yes?” Sidney asked, looking at Zach as if he were shit on the bottom of his shoe.

Zach smiled, a grin that sent a chill down Ava’s spine. It certainly didn’t convey friendship or niceties.

“Doctor, I know you think you’re dealing with a bunch of stupid military boys here, and, maybe you are. I don’t think any of us have had either the schooling, or the opportunities in life that you’ve had. I have the feeling that you’re looking at this as a clinical study, and nothing more.”

The doctor didn’t deny the accusation, and Zach rested his hand on Sidney’s shoulder as he spoke.

“Your silence speaks volumes. Let me just say this—that man down there that you are going to shoot up with LSD is our friend, our brother-in-arms. We’ve been shot at together, laughed and cried together, and we’d do anything in the world for him, and his wife.”

Zach’s expression fell, his face becoming incredibly serious. “However, so help me God, if you fuck this up, these stupid military boys that you find so beneath you? I promise you, we will kill you and scatter your body parts far and wide so that you’ll never be found again. Do you understand me?”

The doctor blanched, his eyes widened. Unfortunately, Ava had a feeling that Zach meant every last word he said, and the violent threat actually comforted her. These men were her family, and she felt a little better with the reassurance that they cared about Jordan, and that they also had her back.

Sidney didn’t answer, and Zach smiled again, breaking the tension in the room. “Have a nice afternoon, sir.”

Zach turned and walked out with Savannah, and Ava had to smile.

The doctor began mumbling under his breath, obviously unaware that she still remained in the room. “What type of simpleton cretins are these people?”

Her anger surged and she stood. He turned to her, his eyebrows lifted in surprise.

She grinned. “They’re the type you don’t want to mess with, Doctor. If I were you, I’d make certain that everything goes very smoothly tomorrow. I’ve never heard Zach make a promise he didn’t keep.”