INTRODUCTION
The Skinny Cow
Some 3,000 years ago, a poor farmer named Adir lived with his wife and three children in a small village about 50 miles from Jerusalem. He was a subsistence farmer, working hard to get the most out of his tiny plot of land, but he was barely managing to feed his family.
His neighbors were equally poor, and although they liked and admired Adir, they were envious of him because he had something they lacked—a cow. This cow was nothing like the robust cattle we might see when driving through the country-side today. On the contrary, she was skinny and looked a bit sickly, but the small amount of milk Adir was able to get from her a couple of times each week gave him something to trade for other items that kept his family going. Needless to say, he was very grateful for the cow and never considered slaughtering her, although the meat would have provided several meals for the family.
One day, a well-known spiritual leader entered Adir’s village, along with a small group of followers and students. The man was called Ba’al Shem Tov. In the Hebrew language Ba’al means master, Shem means name, and Tov means good.
Adir was a very spiritual man, so he was quite excited when word spread that the Ba’al Shem Tov was in his village, and absolutely thrilled when the great leader approached his shabby home and stopped in front. His excitement turned to shock when the Ba’al Shem Tov announced that he and his followers were tired from the day’s travels and asked if they could spend the night at Adir’s home.
Adir’s first reaction was pride that this much-admired spiritual leader had chosen his humble farm, but his pride was immediately replaced by embarrassment when he realized how little he had to offer. Surely the Ba’al Shem Tov was accustomed to far greater accommodations, but his apologies were brushed aside and the Ba’al Shem Tov walked into the small house, followed by his students. Adir’s wife watched in horrified silence, but it was clear that the Ba’al Shem Tov intended to stay.
Bad turned to worse when the Ba’al Shem Tov announced that he and his followers were hungry, and asked what the family had available for dinner. Remember that Adir could barely feed his own family, so providing a meal for nine grown men seemed out of the question. He consulted with his wife, suggesting that their only hope was to slaughter their skinny, but prized, cow. She protested, reminding her husband that once the cow was gone, so was the milk that had been enabling the family to survive, but in the end, they realized they had no other choice.
Adir reluctantly slaughtered and butchered the cow, thinking it would provide enough meat for their guests’ dinner with some left over to feed his family for a few more days, but that plan quickly vanished when the meal was set out.
The Ba’al Shem Tov was a wonderful guest, entertaining the group with amazing stories, but Adir watched in growing dismay as the great man ate four or five times as much as anyone else. Within two hours, every morsel of meat had been consumed. There would be nothing left over.
The Ba’al Shem Tov had one surprise left. As soon as he’d finished eating, he stood up and announced that he’d changed his mind about spending the night. He felt sufficiently rested to walk a few more miles, so as quickly as they’d arrived, he and his followers vanished into the night.
Adir’s head was spinning. Everything had happened so quickly and he hadn’t had time to process any of it. Unable to cope with his growing despair, he left the house and headed into the adjacent forest to clear his head.
As he was walking through the woods, wondering how he would take care of his family now that the cow was gone, he heard a noise just ahead. Walking further, he came upon an older man who was lying on the ground and moaning in pain. When Adir approached, the man said he’d fallen and injured his leg, and now he was unable to walk. Never one to abandon someone in need, Adir walked to a nearby stream and returned with water for the stranger to drink. As they sat on the ground, wondering what to do next, the men began to talk, beginning with the customary exchange of names.
When Adir heard the stranger’s name—Mordechai—he immediately recognized it. This was the wealthiest man in the province. Adir asked if the stories he’d heard about Mordechai were true—that he lived in an enormous palace, had dozens of servants, and owned countless businesses.
“Yes, that’s all true,” Mordechai replied.
“That’s amazing,” Adir said. “You’re the most fortunate man in the world.”
“Not really,” Mordechai said. “It’s true that I have a lot of money and possessions, but that’s all my family cares about. To tell you the truth, they’re just waiting for me to die so they can get their hands on everything I have. In fact, they’d probably be pretty excited if they knew I was stranded here in the woods, injured with no way to get home. Nothing would make them happier than for me to die alone out here.”
Adir thought about his own wife and children. They didn’t have much—and with the cow gone, they now had even less than before—but they loved and took care of each other, and helped their neighbors when they could. He couldn’t imagine living any other way.
Adir crafted a makeshift splint and tied it to Mordechai’s ankle by tearing his own shirt into strips, then helped the injured man to the home of the nearest neighbor. Borrowing a donkey and cart, Adir took Mordechai to a town some ten miles away, where Mordechai had a business acquaintance who promised to take him the rest of the way home.
“I can’t thank you enough for your kindness” Mordechai said as the two men parted ways. “All anyone cares about is my money. You’re the first person who has helped me without expecting anything in return. I won’t forget it.”
Three years later, while on another pilgrimage, the Ba’al Shem Tov passed through Adir’s village again. By now, his followers had grown to more than 100, including the original group who had visited Adir’s home on their previous trip.
As they were walking along the narrow dirt road, a commotion arose and the group moved aside to make way for a large, elegant carriage pulled by four fine-looking horses. Intrigued that such a vehicle would be in this impoverished area, the students peered inside as the carriage passed by. They were stunned to see Adir and his wife.
Recognizing the group, Adir stopped the carriage and got out to speak to his old acquaintances. The students had plenty of questions, and they were surprised to learn that the source of Adir’s newfound riches was Mordechai, who had died several months earlier and left his fortune to the only person who had seen beyond his wealth and power.
The Ba’al Shem Tov had said little, and after Adir’s carriage continued down the road, the students were curious about his knowing smile.
“We’ve wondered about this among ourselves,” one said. “Your behavior that night was out of character. You rarely eat meat, yet you ate an enormous amount that night, even though you knew that family had very little food. And it’s unlike you to go back on your word, but you got up and left as soon as dinner was over, even though you’d planned to spend the night. That family was so poor, and yet you treated them pretty shabbily.”
“They weren’t poor,” the Ba’al Shem Tov said. “They were actually very wealthy. The only thing standing in their way was that skinny cow. I had to get rid of it.”
That sickly, skinny cow had been the sole focus of Adir’s attention. He was terrified to let it go because he was convinced that he needed it, but once it was eliminated, he could see the bigger picture and move forward.
As you read through the following chapters, think carefully about what your skinny cows might be. We all have one or more, and in this book we’ll try to help you recognize yours and get rid of them.
Skinny cows come in many forms. For some people, they are something tangible, such as a particular stock that we inherited from a beloved grandfather and refuse to sell even though it’s unlikely to ever perform well again.
Maybe yours is your stockbroker. His kids go to school with your kids and you see him regularly at various events, so you’re reluctant to cut him loose despite the fact that your investments are losing money and you’ve lost all faith in him.
Many people hang onto false ideas and money myths. They think that rich people got that way because they’re simply smarter than the rest of us, or that it’s necessary to have a lot of money in order to make a lot more money.
Fear can be a crippling skinny cow. Fear of making a mistake, fear of choosing the wrong investments, fear of asking questions, fear of looking foolish—all hold us back if we don’t face them head-on and slaughter them.
We’ve known a great many people who are procrastinators. They put off saving for the future, getting their debts under control, talking to their spouses about their family’s financial position, or taking a hard look at how their investments are performing and making adjustments if necessary.
Keep this story in mind as you continue reading. Try to recognize your skinny cow—or perhaps you’re holding onto more than one. Whatever your skinny cow turns out to be, it’s time to see that cow for what it really is and admit that it’s holding you back.
