| |
The scene is on constant replay in my mind.
The swollen red eyes told me Nate had been crying. When he shouted at Jon, I knew it was something major. Should I have gotten involved? The sadness on Nate's face when I bent down, forced my hand. This situation will test my resolve to distance myself from Jon and his family. First, I had to feed the child.
We sat in my room and I took out my lunch. The pasta was not fancy, but enough to help me survive until the next meal. I asked Emily if she wanted anything. We ordered sandwiches and coffee. We sat in a small circle, all three of us together, in a close circle. Nate refused to eat.
"Would you like chocolate or candies?" I took out the box of goodies I keep in my room for my pediatric patients. Nate's eyes widened, he raised his hand to grab a Hershey's bar, but then withdrew his hand.
"Go on, take one. Whichever do you want?"
"Can I have two? One for dad and one for me." Nate asked, without moving his hands from his lap.
I took his hands in mine. "Sure, but not before you finish lunch."
He took the two chocolates and kept them in his pocket. He still did not move to eat the pasta in front of him, so I fed him the first few times.
Once he got his energy back, he narrated what had happened on the trip from school to the hospital. I was shocked. How can someone say such things to a six-year-old child? Nate is a bubbly kid, full of life and fun. He grabs your attention the moment he enters the room. Nate is naughty but not destructive. He is inquisitive and observant. Why should anyone object to that? Aren't children supposed to be like this?
If there are issues between Jon and Naomi, why take it out on his kid? I was not aware of the relationship between Jon and Naomi, so I could not help comfort Nate. The more prominent thought in my mind was the worry of crossing another line. This was their family matter. I was walking down a narrow path—comforting Nate and interfering in Jon's relationship.
"Nate, how many types of flowers have you seen?" I wiped tears from his cheeks holding his face in my hands.
"I have seen roses, the purple ones in Grammy's gardens. Then there are yellow ones and yes, the big ones in our house. " He made a conical shape with his hands. "Uncle Jason calls them Silly Lily. That should make it four." Nate counted on his fingers.
"Well, there are many more. They are all different in shape, size, and color. They are all beautiful and unique in their way. Children are like flowers. Every child is unique. Nate, you are special in your different way. So, let no one tell you otherwise."
He kept quiet for a while. After a few seconds, he smiled. I pushed the chocolate box in front of him once again, in the hope that it would take his mind off the entire episode with Naomi. He grabbed an assortment of chocolates.
"Don't be greedy, Nate," Emily warned him. I smiled and let him have as many he could fill in his pockets and his hands. After they were full, he nudged the box toward me, "I still don't want to talk to dad. He wants to send me away."
I gathered Nate in my arms, "No sweetie, he will never let that happen. Perhaps, there is a misunderstanding."
"Will you ask him for me?" Nate's face showed the reluctance in his mind. The boy was pretty shaken and scared.
Emily had been silent until that moment, but Nate's words upset her. She grabbed Nate's hand, "I will kick anyone who tries to take you away. We need to speak to your dad and give him some advice." She got up to leave. There was a determination in the way she spoke and anger in her voice. I held her hand and asked her to stay. She sat next to me and squeezed my hand, tears welling up in her eyes.
Once she settled down, I turned my attention to Nate. "I think you should ask him yourself. You are a grown-up boy and should have a father and son talk." He was still in my lap and buried his head in my chest. He did not reply, so I repeated the suggestion. "Will you do it for me?"
He nodded, eyes watery and close to tears. He looked at me when he spoke next. His words left me speechless, "Will you be my mommy?"
It threw me off balance. How do you tell a child that it takes a lot to marry someone or become a parent? Even if I wanted, Jon would not be interested in someone like me. Yes, Jon was flirting all this while, but it was a game for him. We do not know each other beyond the confines of the hospital room. Then, there is a professional line that I cannot cross.
Yet, in my effort to help Nate, I had stepped over the line. What I feared, had become a reality. I had to pull back, but would I be able to do it?
I had to find a way out, without disappointing Nate. Without hurting him further.
"Things are not so simple, dear. You should leave it to your dad. But I can be your friend. I am sure your dad will not object. We can then go on play dates and share each other's secrets."
"Can I call you anytime?" The desperation in Nate's voice was clear. I was reluctant but had to give some hope to the kid, so, I shook his hand, confirming our agreement.
Emily saved me from further discomfort and took Nate's hand. "Come along, Nate. Dr. Sharon has a lot of work to do. It has been long, and our absence must be worrying Jon."
I was thankful. I did not face her, hiding my emotions. But Nate wouldn't leave me, so we walked back to Jon's room. Circumstances required that I have a one-on-one talk with Jon. I had to ask him to put a stop to Nate coming to the hospital. The distance would break the bonds that were forming.